“Suspended in time and space for a moment, your introduction to Miss Janet Tyler, who lives in a very private world of darkness, a universe whose dimensions are the size, thickness, length of a swath of bandages that cover her face. In a moment we’ll go back into this room and also in a moment we’ll look under those bandages, keeping in mind, of course, that we’re not to be surprised by what we see, because this isn’t just a hospital, and patient 307 is not just a woman. This happens to be…
The 3 dresses in the “glamor” section are modeled by this poor person. Imagine how long she had her head wrapped in wool for that photo session. And what makes a woolen tube with a couple of pieces of chiffon a prom dress? it makes me sweat and itch just looking at it.
Just what every girl wants to dance in-wool.
Nothing like itching & scratching while the dj scratches.The dress isn’t bad but isn’t almost $700.00 bucks good either. That is a fortune in Turkey so maybe she thinks shes Coco of the Bosphorus.
It’s actually a cute dress – sans headgear. I certainly wouldn’t pay over $600 for it though. My mom knits and crochets – maybe I should ask her to make me one…minus the Silent Hill shenanigans.
That dress is pretty cute, and something like that would take a lot of yarn, especially in wool if you get wool that’s soft and not itchy (but as others said, probably not $600 expensive unless it’s for a very large person).
But what the hell is up with that headgear? There are better ways to keep your face out of the pictures, dearie.
“hi, it’s the model agency here… yeah I know you had a bad experience on your last job… some stylists can be a bit kinky and perverted… but this is for hand-knits, think jumpers your gran made you… how bad can it be…”
I actually think a lot of her stuff is really pretty. I know how long it takes to knit a sweater and value paying yourself a fair wage so I won’t complain about her prices. I have even seen people pay this much for a prom dress. This dress would be cute without the mummy gear but it is so the wrong color for prom. I think this dress says “summer funeral”.
For those of you balking at the price, let’s talk about fair pricing for handcrafts. The seller says to expect a 25 day turnaround on that dress. I doubt she’s spending 8 hours a day on that dress, or it would have been finished a lot sooner. Four hours a day sounds more reasonable, unless she’s super-speedy like I am. So going off of four hours a day, that’d be 100 hours of labor. And if you’re wanting to make a living off of knitting, you’d need to charge per hour of labor.
Let’s go with an hourly wage rate…$10 per hour is a figure I’ve heard thrown around on a lot of craft boards in threads discussing fair compensation, so I’ll use that figure. Presuming that there were four hours of labor a day over 25 days, that’d come to $1000 of labor put into the dress.
So yes, the price is fair if that’s a handknit. This is exactly why I will never sell my handknits…there’s no way anyone would be willing to pay a fair price for my work.
Fair compensation wank over, I agree that the yarn wrapped around the head is kinda weird…I think the person who styled that shoot must have gotten high while browsing some recent works by Lasse Hoile.
the dress: i actually think it’s lovely. would i wear it to prom? no. but i’d wear it other places.
the workmanship: it seems to be very well made…sort of an anomaly on etsy these days.
the price: high, but fair. would i pay that? no. but i’m cheap. but i’d rather pay a price like that on a hand-knit dress than a dress with a stupid designer tag in it.
Apparently 102 people felt the need to spend their life savings on sweaters and poorly fitting beanies. I sure wouldn’t spend almost $700 on…well any single item of clothing. That’s probably more than my entire wardrobe is worth, including shoes (And I have a lot of shoes)!
What astounds me is she did not think the first layer of yarn mask to be sufficient but had to double up with the grey. (If the dress is hand knitted the price is fair but if it’s machine knitted it’s pretty steep.) I
Vile & Evil Debbie Downer
June 18, 2010 at 2:30 pm
How many licks does it take to get to the center of a lolipop dress?
The world may never know.
BTW, sticksandtunes – I think the point is that it doesn’t matter how many hours went into something. As April said in her recent interview, “Well, that’s great, but lots of things take a long time, you know? “It took me 22 hours to glue all of these doll parts on this rotary telephone.” Well, that’s great, but it doesn’t really mean anything.”
It seems to have been created as a full-length (grey, knitted pleated wool jumper-style?) prom dress for the Lollipop Guild gals, thus explaining why the tall statured model needed to melt like the Wicked Witch of the West to show it to its best advantage.
I know I should probably be saying something about the yarn bondage hood here, but what I’m really wondering is who the fuck wears a knitted dress to their prom.
why do I get the creepy feeling that the seller’s pictures are going to end up entered into evidence on a super ookey sweeps week Law & Order SVU next season?
My brain is failing to wrap around this auction. The method seems to be: take a cute-ish knit dress base, add stupid straps that tie in the back and add unnecessary bulk to the otherwise trim design, style it really badly, take photos in unattractive poses, and wait for the money to start rolling in?
the whole thai voodoo doll trend thing from a few years ago….maybe not my ideal date theme for prom, but who knows, for the gamer who has played way too much Little Big Planet, this might be right up their alley.
photo – not bad for femme/angsty/pretentious art
dress – very nicely crafted, though not what I’d call ‘prom’ gear
title – ftw?
“Why don’t we just crop out my face? Or photoshop Judge Joe Brown’s onto it?”
“Well because, silly, faces make the product picture so much more personable.”
Really, I think most if not all the stuff in this shop is machine knit. Even if this was hand knit, I really doubt that a simple tube like this with no patterning or colorwork would take that long. The pleats look like they are just blocked in.
Actually the dress is fine, it’s the yarn-wrapped head and the fact that anything named for a “lolipop” should not also involve gray wool, that’s so wrong.
And as a knitter, after looking at her other designs, I totally bow down before her designing skillz. Contrary to a lot of the common places to get patterns today, her designs are both wearable (unlike many VK patterns), but also interesting and intricate (unlike patterns from many of the yarn companies. Wool wrapped heads I could do without, but those designs are fabulous. I also don’t think she’s charging enough for what her stuff is worth, but agree that not many will buy them at cost.
Stickandtunes – you are so right. I quilt religiously, and people are ASTOUNDED when they ask me to make them a quilt and I refuse, based on your exact reasoning. They don’t believe me when I say even a small quilt can run $200 or $300 – for materials ALONE, labor notwithstanding. I could not see making a full sized quilt for less than $400. Absolutely not.
June 18, 2010 at 9:34 am
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June 18, 2010 at 9:35 am
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June 18, 2010 at 9:35 am
Now I know why I had such a lousy time at my prom! I forgot to bind my date’s head and sever her legs!
June 18, 2010 at 9:39 am
I think that’s Carrie under the head wrap.
June 18, 2010 at 9:40 am
Do you think naming it “LOLIPOP” was a misspelling, or intentional? As in, everyone will LOL at you?
June 18, 2010 at 9:45 am
For the prom goer with who has a vicious case of acne.
June 18, 2010 at 9:45 am
wednesday addams wore this to her prom
and was voted queen, so there.
June 18, 2010 at 9:46 am
She seriously looks like she is ready for the executioner to show up behind her at any moment for her beheading.
June 18, 2010 at 9:47 am
Is this one of a kind? Otherwise imagine the embarrassment when your BFF shows up wearing the same dress. Oh the dramaz!
June 18, 2010 at 9:48 am
Damn, look at her prices. For $680, I should hope that the asphyxiation is included.
June 18, 2010 at 9:49 am
she looks like she is disintergrating into the floor…’I'm melting, meltinggg!’
June 18, 2010 at 9:49 am
Yes this definitely needs a “chiffon bow” in the same way the movie “Boxing Helena” needed a romping kitten scene…
June 18, 2010 at 9:50 am
$680.???
You gave up 25 days of your life for this?
Why?
I have no understanding or patience for this one!
June 18, 2010 at 9:52 am
“Suspended in time and space for a moment, your introduction to Miss Janet Tyler, who lives in a very private world of darkness, a universe whose dimensions are the size, thickness, length of a swath of bandages that cover her face. In a moment we’ll go back into this room and also in a moment we’ll look under those bandages, keeping in mind, of course, that we’re not to be surprised by what we see, because this isn’t just a hospital, and patient 307 is not just a woman. This happens to be…
June 18, 2010 at 9:53 am
I’ll only buy this if it comes with hot pink flip flops
June 18, 2010 at 9:54 am
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June 18, 2010 at 9:55 am
Oh is that what you do with the left over yarn?
June 18, 2010 at 9:56 am
I actually had to stop lurking and sign up to say WTF.
I am genuinely disturbed by this.
June 18, 2010 at 10:07 am
Sometimes I suspect Etsy sellers are intentionally posting the fugliest crap possible just to see if anyone will actually spend money on it.
June 18, 2010 at 10:08 am
The 3 dresses in the “glamor” section are modeled by this poor person. Imagine how long she had her head wrapped in wool for that photo session. And what makes a woolen tube with a couple of pieces of chiffon a prom dress? it makes me sweat and itch just looking at it.
June 18, 2010 at 10:08 am
“You may now kiss the…um, never mind.”
June 18, 2010 at 10:10 am
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June 18, 2010 at 10:12 am
Oh dear. I like the dress, but the idea of Chiffon bows, ehhh… not so much.
#11- razberries- I lol’d so hard my eyes are leaking.
The model kind of reminds me of the Movie Wicker Man
June 18, 2010 at 10:13 am
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June 18, 2010 at 10:23 am
The dress is actually nice and well made, although $680 is steep. Her idea of haute couture, well, that’s another story.
June 18, 2010 at 10:24 am
Just what every girl wants to dance in-wool.
Nothing like itching & scratching while the dj scratches.The dress isn’t bad but isn’t almost $700.00 bucks good either. That is a fortune in Turkey so maybe she thinks shes Coco of the Bosphorus.
June 18, 2010 at 10:26 am
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June 18, 2010 at 10:32 am
She really is delusional. A knit scarf, cotton , nice stitch yeah but it’s not THAT nice-$ 118.00 , a fuckin’ scarf!
June 18, 2010 at 10:32 am
Most ineffective giant knit condom ever.
June 18, 2010 at 10:43 am
I think I ‘ve broken down the cost:
materials:$100.00
labor:$300.00
bondage/alien/angst fantasy fuel-$280.00
June 18, 2010 at 10:44 am
I never went to my prom. Now look at all the fun I could have had!
June 18, 2010 at 10:47 am
Waltzing Helena.
June 18, 2010 at 11:01 am
It’s actually a cute dress – sans headgear. I certainly wouldn’t pay over $600 for it though. My mom knits and crochets – maybe I should ask her to make me one…minus the Silent Hill shenanigans.
June 18, 2010 at 11:07 am
That dress is pretty cute, and something like that would take a lot of yarn, especially in wool if you get wool that’s soft and not itchy (but as others said, probably not $600 expensive unless it’s for a very large person).
But what the hell is up with that headgear? There are better ways to keep your face out of the pictures, dearie.
June 18, 2010 at 11:11 am
Claude Reins called and he wants his face back.
I can imagine that at the end of the photo shoot the photographer said ironically: THATS A WRAP!!
June 18, 2010 at 11:27 am
My aunt made a dress like this for my daughter, except it had sleeves. It was white and very pretty.
Oh yeah, the daughter in question was 18 MONTHS OLD when she wore it.
Without the headgear, of course.
June 18, 2010 at 11:29 am
The very latest in ancient Egyptian inspired S&M wear, huh?
June 18, 2010 at 11:29 am
I get hidden for burka but date rape is funny?
I’m so confused.
June 18, 2010 at 11:30 am
Wouldn’t it be FUN, if we put her in a room with, like, 20 cats! Now THAT would have made for better photos. And probably a more interesting dress.
June 18, 2010 at 11:31 am
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June 18, 2010 at 11:37 am
“hi, it’s the model agency here… yeah I know you had a bad experience on your last job… some stylists can be a bit kinky and perverted… but this is for hand-knits, think jumpers your gran made you… how bad can it be…”
June 18, 2010 at 11:37 am
Can I order a “Pinhead” variant?
June 18, 2010 at 11:45 am
I actually think a lot of her stuff is really pretty. I know how long it takes to knit a sweater and value paying yourself a fair wage so I won’t complain about her prices. I have even seen people pay this much for a prom dress. This dress would be cute without the mummy gear but it is so the wrong color for prom. I think this dress says “summer funeral”.
June 18, 2010 at 11:50 am
How did she make knitted pleats? Seriously, I want to try that.
Oh, and as for the dress, if you wear a knitted, gray dress to prom, you will blend in too well with the gymnasium walls.
June 18, 2010 at 11:52 am
Too warm isn’t a very rousing endorsement.
http://www.etsy.com/listing/44187874/mistica-femminile?ref=v1_other_2
June 18, 2010 at 11:53 am
For those of you balking at the price, let’s talk about fair pricing for handcrafts. The seller says to expect a 25 day turnaround on that dress. I doubt she’s spending 8 hours a day on that dress, or it would have been finished a lot sooner. Four hours a day sounds more reasonable, unless she’s super-speedy like I am. So going off of four hours a day, that’d be 100 hours of labor. And if you’re wanting to make a living off of knitting, you’d need to charge per hour of labor.
June 18, 2010 at 11:54 am
Ummm……maybe the stylist and make-up artist called in sick the day of the photo shoot?
June 18, 2010 at 11:59 am
(continued)
Let’s go with an hourly wage rate…$10 per hour is a figure I’ve heard thrown around on a lot of craft boards in threads discussing fair compensation, so I’ll use that figure. Presuming that there were four hours of labor a day over 25 days, that’d come to $1000 of labor put into the dress.
So yes, the price is fair if that’s a handknit. This is exactly why I will never sell my handknits…there’s no way anyone would be willing to pay a fair price for my work.
June 18, 2010 at 12:06 pm
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June 18, 2010 at 12:08 pm
Fair compensation wank over, I agree that the yarn wrapped around the head is kinda weird…I think the person who styled that shoot must have gotten high while browsing some recent works by Lasse Hoile.
At least she didn’t throw in a cow heart.
June 18, 2010 at 12:13 pm
The dress is pretty, but she maybe should have put a few more hours in on the hat.
June 18, 2010 at 12:19 pm
#37 A good question for your God Box…
June 18, 2010 at 12:40 pm
Kiki Smith makes her Etsy debut.
June 18, 2010 at 12:48 pm
the dress: i actually think it’s lovely. would i wear it to prom? no. but i’d wear it other places.
the workmanship: it seems to be very well made…sort of an anomaly on etsy these days.
the price: high, but fair. would i pay that? no. but i’m cheap. but i’d rather pay a price like that on a hand-knit dress than a dress with a stupid designer tag in it.
the headgear: sweet baby jesus. that is all.
June 18, 2010 at 12:54 pm
Yey! One of my suggestions got in!
I wonder if her prom date was Pyramid Head?……
June 18, 2010 at 1:20 pm
Apparently 102 people felt the need to spend their life savings on sweaters and poorly fitting beanies. I sure wouldn’t spend almost $700 on…well any single item of clothing. That’s probably more than my entire wardrobe is worth, including shoes (And I have a lot of shoes)!
June 18, 2010 at 1:47 pm
#18, you mean like American Apparel?
June 18, 2010 at 1:53 pm
reminds me of the pig face people in the original Twilight Zone episode…
June 18, 2010 at 2:01 pm
What astounds me is she did not think the first layer of yarn mask to be sufficient but had to double up with the grey. (If the dress is hand knitted the price is fair but if it’s machine knitted it’s pretty steep.) I
June 18, 2010 at 2:01 pm
But you know, even if I like the dress and had the money, the effing photography is so pretentious I wouldn’t want to encourage them.
June 18, 2010 at 2:09 pm
Best, funniest comment I’ve seen in a long time, HK.
June 18, 2010 at 2:30 pm
How many licks does it take to get to the center of a lolipop dress?
The world may never know.
BTW, sticksandtunes – I think the point is that it doesn’t matter how many hours went into something. As April said in her recent interview, “Well, that’s great, but lots of things take a long time, you know? “It took me 22 hours to glue all of these doll parts on this rotary telephone.” Well, that’s great, but it doesn’t really mean anything.”
June 18, 2010 at 2:38 pm
Seems to me if one needs a wool dress , they need to be warm , which means arms & shoulders covered…
as impractical as it is pricey.
June 18, 2010 at 2:40 pm
Looks more like a Dali prop than a lolipop.
June 18, 2010 at 2:43 pm
It seems to have been created as a full-length (grey, knitted pleated wool jumper-style?) prom dress for the Lollipop Guild gals, thus explaining why the tall statured model needed to melt like the Wicked Witch of the West to show it to its best advantage.
June 18, 2010 at 4:43 pm
Is this a hand crafter’s way of doing auto-erotic asphyxiation?
June 18, 2010 at 5:35 pm
For that price, it’d better come with a cannibal.
June 18, 2010 at 5:47 pm
I know I should probably be saying something about the yarn bondage hood here, but what I’m really wondering is who the fuck wears a knitted dress to their prom.
June 18, 2010 at 5:59 pm
why do I get the creepy feeling that the seller’s pictures are going to end up entered into evidence on a super ookey sweeps week Law & Order SVU next season?
June 18, 2010 at 6:05 pm
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June 18, 2010 at 6:09 pm
My brain is failing to wrap around this auction. The method seems to be: take a cute-ish knit dress base, add stupid straps that tie in the back and add unnecessary bulk to the otherwise trim design, style it really badly, take photos in unattractive poses, and wait for the money to start rolling in?
June 18, 2010 at 6:10 pm
And I forgot to add, to throw in an element of creepy with homemade yarn bondage gear, because that knit is totally edgy.
June 18, 2010 at 8:49 pm
“Thanks for your understanding and patience.” Not as long as Helen Killer roams the internet, bitch.
June 18, 2010 at 11:14 pm
so this reminds me of these little guys:
http://www.justplos.com/catalog/voodoo_catalog.htm
the whole thai voodoo doll trend thing from a few years ago….maybe not my ideal date theme for prom, but who knows, for the gamer who has played way too much Little Big Planet, this might be right up their alley.
photo – not bad for femme/angsty/pretentious art
dress – very nicely crafted, though not what I’d call ‘prom’ gear
title – ftw?
so much potential fizzling so spectacularly…
June 19, 2010 at 1:28 am
With this pose and the background it looks as if the wool has taken her hostage.
June 19, 2010 at 6:57 am
I hope she includes the safe word with that dress.
June 19, 2010 at 7:42 am
Anyone see the Roman Polanski film from the 70′s called “The Tennant?”
Funny thing is this shop has been in my favorites list for at least a year. This new photography style is a bit of a psychotic departure.
June 19, 2010 at 7:57 am
Friday the 13th Part 23: The Prom Date of Jason.
“Why don’t we just crop out my face? Or photoshop Judge Joe Brown’s onto it?”
“Well because, silly, faces make the product picture so much more personable.”
June 19, 2010 at 2:41 pm
Really, I think most if not all the stuff in this shop is machine knit. Even if this was hand knit, I really doubt that a simple tube like this with no patterning or colorwork would take that long. The pleats look like they are just blocked in.
June 19, 2010 at 2:42 pm
I wonder if she knows she’s NOT invisible?
June 19, 2010 at 3:01 pm
BSDM prom style!
I actually like the picture but have no idea how it would actually help sell the dress.
June 19, 2010 at 4:56 pm
Tip: They have these at Marshall’s right now. Coordinating face-binding included. $39.99.
June 20, 2010 at 4:01 am
I’m shocked that people are still shocked by a head wrapped in wool.
That said, sometimes you have to choose a single pretension, instead of layering one over another.
June 20, 2010 at 11:20 am
so, like, I’m really self-concious about my ankles… can you do anything that takes the attention away from my legs…
June 20, 2010 at 5:00 pm
And now the unveiling of the newest feature film based on the Literary Classic: The Woman in the Worsted Wool Mask.
DiCaprio’s got nothing on this super-chic prom queen. She has her long lost twin hidden and tied up with polyester!! Oh the horror . . .
June 21, 2010 at 6:33 am
Actually the dress is fine, it’s the yarn-wrapped head and the fact that anything named for a “lolipop” should not also involve gray wool, that’s so wrong.
June 21, 2010 at 11:14 am
Am I the only one who thinks prom date looks like a real-life version of Peter Griffin?
June 21, 2010 at 11:20 am
And as a knitter, after looking at her other designs, I totally bow down before her designing skillz. Contrary to a lot of the common places to get patterns today, her designs are both wearable (unlike many VK patterns), but also interesting and intricate (unlike patterns from many of the yarn companies. Wool wrapped heads I could do without, but those designs are fabulous. I also don’t think she’s charging enough for what her stuff is worth, but agree that not many will buy them at cost.
June 21, 2010 at 2:30 pm
I’m so glad That I’m not the only one who thought silent hill when seeing this.Perhaps one of the nurses was a teen mother?
June 21, 2010 at 2:48 pm
This isnt the only one she’s done this on.It seems to be any one with leftover gray yarn.
http://www.etsy.com/listing/45928261/carnavalera-tunic
http://www.etsy.com/listing/45928917/dresses-dress
Also-
http://sphotos.ak.fbcdn.net/hphotos-ak-ash2/hs041.ash2/35394_1314983396896_1300027962_30691729_4266139_n.jpg
September 10, 2010 at 10:03 am
Stickandtunes – you are so right. I quilt religiously, and people are ASTOUNDED when they ask me to make them a quilt and I refuse, based on your exact reasoning. They don’t believe me when I say even a small quilt can run $200 or $300 – for materials ALONE, labor notwithstanding. I could not see making a full sized quilt for less than $400. Absolutely not.