94

Shoeless in Seattle

I cried because I had no feet
Until I met a girl who wore this shit

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94 comments on Shoeless in Seattle

  1. Dynomoose
    June 16, 2010 at 4:34 pm

    My goodness, there is a lot of marijuana smoked on etsy, isn’t there?

    Thumb up Thumb down +98

  2. willandwont
    June 16, 2010 at 4:35 pm

    I’d go barefoot before I’d wear those! Oh wait…

    Thumb up Thumb down +89

  3. MsChristy McKnickers
    June 16, 2010 at 4:37 pm

    This would go great with my drum circle outfit! I can already smell the patchouli now.

    Thumb up Thumb down +46

  4. nickiefrye
    June 16, 2010 at 4:37 pm

    Is it weird that I’m more disturbed by the toenails than the “sandals”?

    Thumb up Thumb down +126

  5. mazumi
    June 16, 2010 at 4:38 pm

    When I saw that headline, I said to myself

    “Self, that’s gonna be a pair of feet I do NOT want to see.”

    …yep.

    Thumb up Thumb down +74

  6. hamoza
    June 16, 2010 at 4:39 pm

    Thirty bucks? $30? Laughing in flowers?
    Right, she’s laughing all the way to the bank.

    Thumb up Thumb down +41

  7. biggles5
    June 16, 2010 at 4:39 pm

    These look like some sort of makeshift bandages. Per fect for when you get a blister on the pioneer trail.

    Thumb up Thumb down +30

  8. LeeLooDallas
    June 16, 2010 at 4:39 pm

    What a heel.

    Thumb up Thumb down +12

  9. DizzyMissLizzy
    June 16, 2010 at 4:41 pm

    Straight from the movie set of “Girl, Interrupted”

    Thumb up Thumb down +4

  10. abimar
    June 16, 2010 at 4:42 pm

    do they come with the fungus, or will she make me a fresh pair?

    Thumb up Thumb down +42

  11. LeeLooDallas
    June 16, 2010 at 4:43 pm

    Corny.

    Thumb up Thumb down +7

  12. leftfoot
    June 16, 2010 at 4:43 pm

    haha I suggested this on fb. awesome!

    Eric Cartman: “Drugs are bad because if you do drugs you’re a hippie and hippies suck.”

    Thumb up Thumb down +32

  13. tarabu
    June 16, 2010 at 4:44 pm

    I really wanted to like these, in a thirteen-year-old hippie girl on the beach sort of way. But I just can’t. Maybe if they fit – although that may just be because of the angle of the photo. Maybe if the pattern was centered and the seams were finished. One mile walking the woods in these and that zig-zags going to be all torn up with bramble. I know I’m getting technical, but avant-garde raw edge deconstructed looks irk my soul.

    Thumb up Thumb down +34

  14. hamoza
    June 16, 2010 at 4:45 pm

    Peaced together? Spare me.
    The toe wrapped in floral bunting looks like a Russian Marytroshka doll being strangled.

    Thumb up Thumb down +51

  15. sparklzebith
    June 16, 2010 at 4:46 pm

    $30 for stitched together ribbon roll ends?? I’d rather eat myself into cheeseburger oblivion…and I don’t eat meat.

    Thumb up Thumb down +23

  16. rumi monger
    June 16, 2010 at 4:47 pm

    leftfoot, if you can re-own it, i can upcycle my original comment:

    “All these barefoot sandals are made using the little pieces left behind from other mountain girl creations.”

    why, that DOES make me feel unique and special!.”

    Thumb up Thumb down +17

  17. These are so silly. Everyone knows feral mountain girls don’t have internet access to buy them.

    Thumb up Thumb down +111

  18. pplrdum
    June 16, 2010 at 4:52 pm

    But wouldn’t they look fantastic with the Loseralls?!?

    The carnie folk must be scrambling to get their hands on these!

    Thumb up Thumb down +35

  19. Patty has been abducted by an Alien
    June 16, 2010 at 4:53 pm

    I didn’t know people could bite their own toenails.

    Thumb up Thumb down +79

  20. Travelgrrl
    June 16, 2010 at 4:54 pm

    Just don’t wear them jaywalking in Seattle. You’ll get worse than a Regretsy beatdown.

    Thumb up Thumb down +23

    • keynes
      October 12, 2011 at 11:27 am

      This person is a porno spammer
      zarbuma21@gmail.com
      88.247.67.55

      Porno spammers have their email and IP addresses posted, so you can return the favor. – HK

      Thumb up Thumb down 0

  21. LeeLooDallas
    June 16, 2010 at 4:54 pm

    Tread-bare.

    Thumb up Thumb down +19

  22. WANNA POST ALL NIGHT
    June 16, 2010 at 4:58 pm

    mountain girls are barefoot maniacs

    Thumb up Thumb down +6

  23. Carol Hiller
    June 16, 2010 at 4:58 pm

    properly filed.

    Thumb up Thumb down +4

  24. leftfoot
    June 16, 2010 at 5:02 pm

    seattle beatdown? feral mountain folk? the feet puns?

    Y’all’ve made my shitty day.

    Thumb up Thumb down +9

  25. leftfoot
    June 16, 2010 at 5:04 pm

    Scratch that. Extreme Poodles on TLC has just made my shitty day.

    (sorry!)

    Thumb up Thumb down +8

  26. Skully
    June 16, 2010 at 5:04 pm

    To paraphrase Led Zep/Black Dog:
    I don’t know, but I been told
    Mountain girl sandals ain’t got no soles

    Thumb up Thumb down +57

  27. HomeAlone
    June 16, 2010 at 5:08 pm

    It’s the Un-Shoe. Upcycled hemp-sexy paired with the Loveralls. A granola-munchin, tree-huggin, glass pipe smokin’, blond dreadlock sportin’, suburban hippie teenage boy’s wet dream.

    Thumb up Thumb down +14

  28. a~d
    June 16, 2010 at 5:11 pm

    “every snippet of lace fabric and string” are saved, and by saved, i mean saved from the dumpster at AC Moores’.

    Thumb up Thumb down +13

  29. spandy
    June 16, 2010 at 5:16 pm

    Some of those toenails seem to be foaming.
    Even the fly wouldn’t land on these tootsies.

    Thumb up Thumb down +16

  30. polkadotbananas
    June 16, 2010 at 5:23 pm

    Know what? I save every snippet of lace, fabric and string, too, but I don’t make shit like this out of them. And even if I did, I would paint my toenails first or at the very least wash my feet.

    Thumb up Thumb down +30

  31. PussDaddy
    June 16, 2010 at 5:26 pm

    Hidden due to low comment rating. Click here to see.

    Thumb up Thumb down -3

  32. redredred
    June 16, 2010 at 5:28 pm

    Sweetie, you are not a Mountain Girl. If you wore those while climbing any sort of mountain, your feet would be torn to pieces.

    Oh, sorry, they’d be torn to “peaces”.

    Thumb up Thumb down +57

  33. Wilma Fingerdoo
    June 16, 2010 at 5:32 pm

    Sadly, your feet will no longer be beautiful, Mountain Girl, if you wear shitty scraps of fabric on your feet. They will be dirty, cut, and callused.
    Maybe you can use the money you make to buy a pumice stone and some organic, fair trade bandages.

    Thumb up Thumb down +22

  34. PussDaddy
    June 16, 2010 at 5:32 pm

    Good Lord, she sold some of them before too, and after being on those gnarly feet.

    Thumb up Thumb down +8

  35. Calophi
    June 16, 2010 at 5:36 pm

    I hate the concept of barefoot sandals. There are a few knit and crochet patterns for them, but I honestly don’t see the point!

    Thumb up Thumb down +18

  36. HelenaHandbasket
    June 16, 2010 at 5:37 pm

    Ew, ew, ew-whomever is high enough to buy these will need to don them AFTER her nasty encrusted tootsies modeled them. I’d rather they stuck a dick in it!

    Thumb up Thumb down +11

  37. PussDaddy
    June 16, 2010 at 5:38 pm

    Maybe she wasn’t barefoot to begin with and her feet just chewed right thru the soles of those suckers.

    Thumb up Thumb down +28

  38. Barefoot sandals are oxyMORONIC.

    Thumb up Thumb down +24

  39. PussDaddy
    June 16, 2010 at 5:40 pm

    You would have to be moronic to wear those.

    Thumb up Thumb down +3

  40. razberries
    June 16, 2010 at 5:40 pm

    “beautiful feet!”
    where?

    Thumb up Thumb down +12

  41. hamoza
    June 16, 2010 at 5:41 pm

    I think I figured out what these things are-foot fascinators.Useless & usually completely ridiculous.

    Thumb up Thumb down +23

  42. PussDaddy
    June 16, 2010 at 5:43 pm

    I thought they might be foot flatinators, hamoza, due to no arch support.

    Thumb up Thumb down +11

  43. MyEyesMyEyes
    June 16, 2010 at 5:49 pm

    Will someone please buy a pair so that she can afford a pedicure? Does the modeled pair come with a free blood sample from the cut on her leg? If she were a real mountain girl she would have more hair on her legs.

    Thumb up Thumb down +8

  44. IscreamUscream
    June 16, 2010 at 5:51 pm

    She should cross-sell a good pair of surgical tweezers so you can dig all the crap out of your feet.

    Thumb up Thumb down +1

  45. hamoza
    June 16, 2010 at 6:06 pm

    @LeeLoo, hahaha that is fuglaaay.
    Sorta’ like a skants wannabe.

    Thumb up Thumb down +5

  46. IscreamUscream
    June 16, 2010 at 6:07 pm

    LeeLoo–that’s just Perude.

    Thumb up Thumb down +3

  47. LeeLooDallas
    June 16, 2010 at 6:07 pm

    Ham – I wonder if it’s originally from Saks.. I mean Sacks!

    Thumb up Thumb down +5

  48. Esmeralda_m
    June 16, 2010 at 6:09 pm

    Do I smell a “Portland Week” theme here? Or is that just armpits, pot, and hummus?

    Thumb up Thumb down +12

  49. hamoza
    June 16, 2010 at 6:12 pm

    Yeah LeeLoo, Sacks basement down by the river….

    Thumb up Thumb down +1

  50. starrydreams
    June 16, 2010 at 6:16 pm

    Footwear for the homeless!

    Thumb up Thumb down -1

  51. hamoza
    June 16, 2010 at 6:20 pm

    #49@ Esmerelda- ‘armpits pot & hummus’?
    2 out of 3 of them aint bad.

    Thumb up Thumb down +5

  52. kirstenrana
    June 16, 2010 at 6:26 pm

    This shop gives me a headache. Reminds me way too much of street fairs in Eugene.
    Friggin neo-hippies.

    Thumb up Thumb down +10

  53. mitzimoosie
    June 16, 2010 at 6:30 pm

    Hidden due to low comment rating. Click here to see.

    Thumb up Thumb down -7

  54. Buzzkill To Teenagers
    June 16, 2010 at 6:42 pm

    #19 Patty – my ex-wife-in-law bites her toenails. (but that wasn’t the reason my husband divorced her, I’m sorry to say).

    the only purpose I can imagine these “foot adornments” used for is some sort of wannabe bondage accessory. But I don’t think they’d hold up under actual use.

    Thumb up Thumb down +1

  55. beqi
    June 16, 2010 at 6:43 pm

    I bet that chick gets lockjaw every WEEK.

    Thumb up Thumb down +8

  56. Vile & Evil Debbie Downer
    June 16, 2010 at 6:43 pm

    ‘Barefoot sandals’? Is that a euphemism for ‘pretend sandals’?

    Thumb up Thumb down +9

  57. hamoza
    June 16, 2010 at 6:46 pm

    ‘Hello. I’m happy to introduce some mountain girl yada yada…’
    At least we weren’t introduced in the first person like we were to the embellished denim torso handbag thingy featured here last week.

    Thumb up Thumb down +6

  58. janncri
    June 16, 2010 at 6:51 pm

    Having been a barefoot hippie mountain girl in my day, let me say (1) don’t go barefoot in the fucking mountains, moron; (2) I’ll just get my toe fungus at the gym; and (3) is that a damn orange sack with bottom cut out? WTF?

    Thumb up Thumb down +19

  59. beaglemixtape
    June 16, 2010 at 6:59 pm

    This is ALMOST as annoying as Sticky Sandals…almost.

    http://www.stickysandals.com/

    Thumb up Thumb down +4

  60. HermesGoddess
    June 16, 2010 at 7:21 pm

    That shit looks like makeshift bandages. Which, come to think of it, would probably really come in handy once you cut your feet into oblivion on those “mountain rocks”.

    Thumb up Thumb down +1

  61. Patty has been abducted by an Alien
    June 16, 2010 at 7:27 pm

    You would think I’d learn NOT to click the links y’all post as a reply to the ridiculous and ugly.

    I end up seeing supercalifragaridiculous and FUG-ugly!

    Its my fault. I trust you and you take advantage of that trust.

    You sadistic jerks.

    Thumb up Thumb down +15

  62. hamoza
    June 16, 2010 at 7:52 pm

    Just imagine how fresh that white scalloped material will look after an hour of walking around on either a dusty dirty garden path or filthy polluted city street.

    Thumb up Thumb down +5

  63. knitvincible
    June 16, 2010 at 8:50 pm

    #55 Buzzkill To Teenagers – “my ex-wife-in-law” Now there’s something I’ve never heard before!

    #60 beaglemixtape – Holy shit you guys, we are missing out on so much money by not getting into the Selling Crap to Idiots business!

    Also, notice how she says “your beautiful feet” not MY beautiful feet.

    Thumb up Thumb down +4

  64. MargaretMaggieMay
    June 16, 2010 at 9:12 pm

    Oh noo
    the last thing I expected to see on my daily check of regretsy was my little toes that apparently no one likes but the truth is
    I knew you all would catch me someday…making something…ridiculous =)
    -Margaret at Mountain Girl Clothing
    and okay fine..next time I’ll get a pedicure I promise!
    but come on….on the beach maybe? no? okay.

    Thumb up Thumb down +50

  65. Recovering Crack Baby
    June 16, 2010 at 9:31 pm

    The first thing I noticed was that cut on her leg and thought people are buying staph infections now.

    Thumb up Thumb down +3

  66. hamoza
    June 16, 2010 at 9:42 pm

    @Margaret~busted grrrl,congratulations Regretsy style!I hope you sell them to a happy beachgoer.

    Thumb up Thumb down +17

  67. JD
    June 16, 2010 at 9:56 pm

    I actually found it rather humorous that right next to this was an ad for “Plasticland” with about five kinds of “real” shoes displayed.

    Thumb up Thumb down +2

  68. IscreamUscream
    June 16, 2010 at 11:06 pm

    @margaretmaggiemay
    Glad you dropped by and played along! :D

    Thumb up Thumb down +19

  69. Stripsleaze
    June 17, 2010 at 12:33 am

    i have to confess that i made a pair of these (i admit i was *really* bored) but mine looked like foot jewellery, instead of those monstrosities! :3

    Thumb up Thumb down -2

  70. Stripsleaze
    June 17, 2010 at 12:39 am

    oh, and barefoot sandals are designed to wear on the beach – there’s a few websites that make them (proper ones, with real stitching!) for people who are getting married on a beach and don’t want to wear shoes (in case you sink i guess) but the ones on those website are actually well-made, colour co-ordinated, and made out of gemstones instead of leftover scraps of awful material :P

    Thumb up Thumb down -1

  71. mountaingirl6324
    June 17, 2010 at 1:23 am

    Hidden due to low comment rating. Click here to see.

    Thumb up Thumb down -36

  72. Helen Killer
    June 17, 2010 at 1:27 am

    MOUNTAIN GIRL FIGHT

    Thumb up Thumb down +46

  73. Dynomoose
    June 17, 2010 at 1:47 am

    #65 MargaretMaggieMay, some of your things are very cute.

    Thumb up Thumb down +13

  74. MargaretMaggieMay
    June 17, 2010 at 4:36 am

    #72 mountaingirl6324
    Wow people get pretty personal on this thing, huh?
    and its actually $120 to join the Mountain Girl Club

    =)

    Thumb up Thumb down +36

  75. HermesGoddess
    June 17, 2010 at 6:00 am

    Holy shit, HK, I just choked on my kashi with #73 there.

    Thumb up Thumb down +6

  76. Wilma Fingerdoo
    June 17, 2010 at 6:17 am

    I put my wager on MargaretMaggieMay. Plus, *Wannabe Mountain Whore* sounds like it would be more fun than dirty footed Mountain Girl.
    MMM sounds Irish and I think with a little liquid encouragement, she could beat the granola out of Mountain Girl. Being Irish, I can say these things…

    Thumb up Thumb down +18

  77. takilasunrise
    June 17, 2010 at 7:17 am

    #35 Calophi :
    I hate the concept of barefoot sandals. There are a few knit and crochet patterns for them, but I honestly don’t see the point!
    ******************
    I think that about thong underwear! What’s the point of bothering to wear them? You don’t want panty lines but there’s not enough fabric to cover the essentials…….

    Thumb up Thumb down +10

  78. xspeddler
    June 17, 2010 at 7:25 am

    How come nobody has noticed what a lovely outfit the Suede Strap Peaced Sandals, Loveralls and Poncho Headress would make?

    Thumb up Thumb down +10

  79. monadnockglassarts
    June 17, 2010 at 8:22 am

    Barefoot sandals are somewhat of a misnomer, referring to straps or jewelry such as anklets and toe rings that have no sole. barefoot sandals originated in South Asia and are popularly worn at religious festivities and events primarily for decoration rather than protection.

    I kinda like them. I think with the right outfit they could be very sexy. I would like to see more glass beads incorporated in them though.

    Thumb up Thumb down +8

  80. TooManyCookbooks
    June 17, 2010 at 8:28 am

    Yeah, have fun with those in the mountains. Don’t know about the mountains the seller is thinking of, but the mountains where I live have snakes, sharp rocks, brambles, mud and other features that make actual shoes very attractive.

    Thumb up Thumb down +3

  81. MAG
    June 17, 2010 at 8:30 am

    After looking at this…technically, a toe tag for a cadaver would also qualify as footwear?

    Thumb up Thumb down +7

  82. craftycoug
    June 17, 2010 at 8:46 am

    On days when I have a bad crafting experience, thank God for Regretsy and crafts like this.

    Thumb up Thumb down +4

  83. djdascool
    June 17, 2010 at 8:53 am

    I think they need some beads added to them. I don’t think they’re that bad at all. I’ve seen some rediculous hippy clothing over the years & these barefoot sandals are normal in comparison.

    If you really want to see some hideous clothing choices…check out “people of walmart” .com

    Thumb up Thumb down -1

  84. Skully
    June 17, 2010 at 9:26 am

    @#66 RCB and 73 HK: 2 mountain girls/1 cut.

    Thumb up Thumb down +9

  85. amazon
    June 17, 2010 at 10:52 am

    Hidden due to low comment rating. Click here to see.

    Thumb up Thumb down -3

  86. SuperSnark
    June 17, 2010 at 10:53 am

    I just like everyone else am grossed out by the nasty toenails and sheer BS of this item, but a someone who sews shit Mountain Girl needs to:

    1) Learn how to properly use a damn serger-it’s not a toy MG!

    2) Learn how to back-stitch to lock a seam, random stoned squigglies like on the toe straps won’t hold a NY minute in Seattle or the Mountains!

    Sorry shit like that bugs me it’s sewing not Rocket Science buy sewing for dummies or take a damn class.

    Thumb up Thumb down -1

  87. lilc
    June 17, 2010 at 9:24 pm

    Back in the day, the headshop lady sold these. She called them “The Sole is your Own” sandals…

    Thumb up Thumb down +11

  88. MargaretMaggieMay
    June 18, 2010 at 7:32 am

    #87 Wow thanks for the “sewing advice” that you put so nicely in that beautiful list for me….I’ll be sure to print it out and hang it above my sewing machine table for future reference…I’ll even frame it!

    ps. if you’d like a bag of my toenail clippings since you love my toes so much, I’ll send em to you…..CONVO me! =)
    <3

    Thumb up Thumb down +15

  89. val
    June 18, 2010 at 1:47 pm

    those toe thingies would bug me..and if she sews that much, shouldn’t she try to match using white thread to the white eyelet?

    Thumb up Thumb down 0

  90. shitmyexsaid
    June 20, 2010 at 7:31 pm

    “Barefoot sandals?” I wondered if such a thing actually exists outside the fuckery of Etsy. Lo and behold…

    http://www.barefootsandals.com/

    Thumb up Thumb down +1

  91. steamcat5
    June 21, 2010 at 5:29 pm

    #60 beaglemixtape This is ALMOST as annoying as Sticky Sandals…almost.
    http://www.stickysandals.com/

    Let me say, that 1) I know that my feet are ugly, but nowhere near as ugly as those, but I would never use my feet to model anything and 2) a huge WTF on the Stickysandals. Thanks for sharing, Ihad never sen those before, but I mean, WHO actually *likes* something constantly sticking to the bottom of their entire foot? Even if those DID work more than once? Yikes!

    Thumb up Thumb down -1

  92. VagtasticSPRHRO
    June 23, 2010 at 9:57 pm

    So, my mom used to make things like this.. they were all of thread/string, and braided or knotted.. which isn’t to say they are any ‘better’.. but it’s the truth.. good God, the shame I feel admitting this.. hey, maybe we can make a few bucks..

    Thumb up Thumb down 0

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