Under the C Cup – NSFW
Oh, those are lovey! I can just imagein inflaming my lover with my firery nuggets. Why, I’m getting engoreged just thinking about it!
123 comments on Under the C Cup – NSFW
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June 11, 2010 at 9:32 am
My nipple would cry too if my boobs looked like this.
June 11, 2010 at 9:34 am
My mermaid was laughing her ass & tail off as she swam away fast to get away from this garbage.
June 11, 2010 at 9:36 am
I imageined swimming in the surf and my headlights getting chilled and explaining to a Doc why my hipple just fell right the fuck off.
June 11, 2010 at 9:36 am
my nipple fell right the fuck off. nipple.nipple.nipple.
June 11, 2010 at 9:37 am
That looks more like a water balloon than a boob!
Also I hope they send a new, unused ring ICK!
June 11, 2010 at 9:39 am
I imagein someone calling the police if I showed up at the beach in these. My lover can pick me up at the station, pay my bail for indecent exposure, and then rub some aloe on my swollen and painfully sunburn nipples.
June 11, 2010 at 9:39 am
Capable of Fire?
Causing fire-like pain?
June 11, 2010 at 9:40 am
That tit looks like a roast , ready to be stuffed, trussed & baked. At least we were spared the revulsion of having to see what it is attached to, if anything.
June 11, 2010 at 9:40 am
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June 11, 2010 at 9:40 am
“But remember, these Shiny Little Nuggets are Capable of Fire !”
How fantastic would it be if they just burst into flame while you were wearing them?!? Talk about HOT!
June 11, 2010 at 9:43 am
I was thinking how awful it would be if she made similiarly embellished cock rings…..& waaaaa laaaaa, yes she does & yes they are.
June 11, 2010 at 9:44 am
now imagine this photo session.
boobs engoreged – check.
bead encrusted boob engoreger on – check
camera ready, flash set – check
ok. whip that tit out .
quick, take it before my mom comes down to the basement and sees what we’re doing!
perfect.
aren’t you worried about putting your engoreged boob on the allmighty internet?
no way, man! you can’t tell it’s me…
well, sure, except my nipple engoreger…so i guess my customers will know it’s me…
who cares?
June 11, 2010 at 9:44 am
I was going to say that this post should have been labeled NSFW, but, upon viewing it, I changed my mind.
June 11, 2010 at 9:44 am
engoreged?
listen, i’m not going to knock anyone with large nipnips. Every breast is beautiful and sacred and should be suckled by someone you love.
However, unicorns and engoreged isn’t cool at all.
June 11, 2010 at 9:44 am
What the Hell is she even talking about?
I’m confused: Is the “engoregment” caused by cutting off circulation to said nipples? ‘Cause that can’t be a good thing.
June 11, 2010 at 9:46 am
What’s with the table boob and where can I get one?
CONVO ME FOR TABLE BOOB – HK
June 11, 2010 at 9:50 am
engoreged spelling, Shiny Little Nuggets of Aggressive Capitalization, disembodiment, and oh, BAD PHOTOGRAPHY.
how can we make fun of them if they do all the work for us?
June 11, 2010 at 9:50 am
This is from her shop description -
“We had all tried some of the products available on the market, and we either paid to much for the product , or the items were painful when you wore them. We all had some crafting skills, so after putting our heads together, we came up with some goodies that have been tried out by all of us. The Men in our lives swear by them, and you will too.”
o_O ewwww….
June 11, 2010 at 9:51 am
when I saw this, my nipples got scared and are now completely inverted. guess this product isn’t for me.
June 11, 2010 at 9:52 am
If this doesn’t show companies that they should use more Real Women in their ads, then I don’t know what else will.
June 11, 2010 at 9:52 am
you need these to complete the outfit.
http://tinyurl.com/unihorn
http://tinyurl.com/272wobm
June 11, 2010 at 9:53 am
EW!!! Fuckity EWWW! My two year old just came up and said “What’s that? Is that a lady bug?”
Just imagein the engoregemente…
June 11, 2010 at 9:54 am
Lovely. I got downed for saying breasts should be suckles. There’s some repressed a-hole wasting their time when they could be writing love letters to Anne Coulter and Limbaugh.
June 11, 2010 at 9:54 am
To Skully.
http://www.etsy.com/listing/45476464/red-skull-nipple-charms-from-the-pirates
June 11, 2010 at 9:57 am
Age 7, I had a wart inside my nostril. The doctor’s solution was to tie a tiny string around it, cutting off the circulation until it fell off. This is just a slightly fancier version of my nose string…I’m just sayin’ she better be careful, cos ain’t no seaman gonna want a nipple-less mermaid.
June 11, 2010 at 9:57 am
Besides being ugly as sin, most of the tit embellishments are a safety hazard.In the midst of your raging fire, it would be easy to get one caught in something & rip that puppy right off.
June 11, 2010 at 10:03 am
That resembles an engorged sausage–it would look better in a bun.
For once, I’m glad for an unfocused photograph.
June 11, 2010 at 10:09 am
No lie – I had to read the description twice before I could figure out quite what that was in the picture. Although this is one time I can truly say that the bad photography is a plus – I don’t want to see a clear pic of this!
June 11, 2010 at 10:15 am
I can’t help but think that if my nip became less than engorged, it would put hubby’s eye out. PE-YONG!
June 11, 2010 at 10:15 am
I particularly enjoy the breast in this picture.
http://tiny.cc/OrangePeel
June 11, 2010 at 10:23 am
I wonder if my organ donor card would allow me to add my nipples, for those who wore shit like this, to it? She has 40 some sales and pretty soon someone is gonna need a nipple. If I die I can be a double donor as I will not ever wear these. Never.Ever.
June 11, 2010 at 10:26 am
OMG, really? honestly, seriously, really? We never, never, never need to see a close up of your sans-areola nipple (what is up with that, btw?), especially attached to your floppy boob! And I get it, boobs are floppy. Mine are floppy. But I’m shelling out closeups of them!
why, why, why? I can’t get the image out of my head, please upload something new soon, so that I don’t see that every time I open up the page!!
It just looks weird. At least its out of focus.
June 11, 2010 at 10:27 am
That should, of course, be NOT shelling out closeups of them. Darn it.
June 11, 2010 at 10:27 am
I swear that boob is staring back at me , probably thinking ‘what cha’ looking at? …& I’m thinking not sure, but sure is fugly.
June 11, 2010 at 10:29 am
This in any other instance would be freaky as hell, but compared to this, it was such a better idea.
http://www.etsy.com/listing/38716228/spring-flowers-nipple-wires
I’d leave the candy corn out of it next time.
But…here’s an idea…they sell fake boobs at the adult store! Invest in one! It would be perfect!
June 11, 2010 at 10:33 am
#34 hamoza : I swear that boob is staring back at me , probably thinking ‘what cha’ looking at? …& I’m thinking not sure, but sure is fugly.
To stare back means you are stareing at it????? Snap out of it.. she is putting you in a titty trance and pretty soon you will purchase this shit. Come back to us Ham..come back….
June 11, 2010 at 10:34 am
i now understand why guys are so impressed with my rack. if this is what i’m being compared to, then SHIT! MY BOOBS ARE AMAZING! maybe i should be putting them on etsy!! (of course, i’m not exactly sure what i’d be selling…)
June 11, 2010 at 10:36 am
#37 use me multipurpose – Just take a pic and use them as your avatar and we, being very honest, will let you know what you could hang off, under or over them titties.
June 11, 2010 at 10:36 am
That photo should be labeled Not Safe For Anyone! I was starting to bite into my turkey breast sandwich when that popped up!
June 11, 2010 at 10:38 am
I’m not sure if this boob or the one sprouting from a field of candy corn is any better http://ny-image2.etsy.com/il_430xN.116654818.jpg
And yes, it is of course the same seller.
June 11, 2010 at 10:38 am
“Just imagine swimming in the surf with these on”
You mean swimming in the tropics? Oh yeah–where every hungry fish would notice these shiny things and want to take a bite.
June 11, 2010 at 10:38 am
While slightly less gross than the pictures modeling undergarments, it still gives the product a “used” vibe. And #32, you’re right, where the hell is her areola?
June 11, 2010 at 10:39 am
Do people really honestly wear things like this? And where, and why??? I don’t get it….
June 11, 2010 at 10:42 am
Upon further inspection, I have to agree with above posts that shown blurry boob resembles a large processed meat. I’m going with a Pennsylvania Dutch bologna. Possibly an olive loaf with a nub at the end. Either way, a nauseating site.
June 11, 2010 at 10:43 am
All I can think now is that I have some damn fine nipples. They don’t need this crap to be appealing; they rock all on their own.
June 11, 2010 at 10:44 am
Pennsylvania Dutch bologna. Wilma, I almost bit my tongue off bwaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaahahahahahahha.
June 11, 2010 at 10:47 am
Everything that needed to be said has been said, so I shall share what I did…
I called out to the 18 year old boy: “Hey, there’s a boob on Regretsy!”
He replied, “What’s wrong with it?”
I said, “Nothing, its wearing a weird nipple ring, but its a boob.”
Cue 18 year old jumping over dogs to get into the room. Then the sound of his sad, dejected voice: “Aww, man. That’s nasty.”
You’d think he’d learn by now.
June 11, 2010 at 10:49 am
It looks like a disembodied boob just laying there. Disturbing. As creeepy as the paper mache boob is, I hafta say I prefer it to this.
I’ve got one customer for her: http://www.marypages.com/SaintAgathaArabic.htm
June 11, 2010 at 10:50 am
#43 Wilma, the obnoxious English major in me thinks you meant “nauseating sight.” However, in this instance, her entire site is in fact nauseating, so it works!
June 11, 2010 at 10:50 am
Hopefully, this won’t get removed by Photobucket Nazis :
http://i67.photobucket.com/albums/h286/corikelland/the_Little_mermaid.jpg
June 11, 2010 at 10:51 am
Most of us women who’ve had mammagrams appreciate what a ‘table boob’ is BTW……
June 11, 2010 at 10:55 am
Because Nipples just aren’t Hot enough on their Own.
June 11, 2010 at 10:55 am
#25 Bristlin Sizzler : That’s what I do for my dog’s skin tags. lol
June 11, 2010 at 10:57 am
ahh pplrdum- I also proofread late and thought the same thing. It is indeed a nauseating site.
I took a tour, saw ceramic boobs with jelly beans, and actually viewed the above boob on a body. I don’t suggest it.
June 11, 2010 at 10:58 am
2 questions:
1. Where’s her areola?
2. Aren’t these things supposed to come in pairs?
June 11, 2010 at 10:59 am
The other boob got away………
June 11, 2010 at 11:08 am
#42 fluffynotfat – if you have to ask, you don’t want to know. Trust me on this.
#64 accidentalhousewife – that reminds me of the mad scientist scene in Woody Allen’s “Everything You Wanted to Know About Sex” (although a nipple ring on the stray boob in that movie would have to be a used tire)
June 11, 2010 at 11:11 am
Crap! I hate it when my nuggets are on fire.
June 11, 2010 at 11:26 am
Reminds me of the Johnny Cash song:
I put on emerald nipple rings of fire
Twisted round, round, round. engoreged with desire
And they burn, burn, burn, those rings of fire
Those rings of fire
(and thanks for the nip tip, Wilma!)
June 11, 2010 at 11:27 am
I’m so relieved that the Helsinki photographer from yesterday has decided to give lessons.
June 11, 2010 at 11:30 am
You lot are scary… I think my nipple shields</a and I will go hide under the table now.
Having said that, just be glad she isn't modeling one of these</a (SFW – just an example WITHOUT a person involved
June 11, 2010 at 11:33 am
WOW hyperlink fail! First link is here
Second link is here
Lets hope that works better!
June 11, 2010 at 11:37 am
Skully, you’ve inspired me to play Wall of Voodoos version of ‘Ring of Fire’, sing with your embellished lyrics & dance -engoreged with desire to work up a good appetite for lunch.
June 11, 2010 at 11:48 am
#11 hamoza :
I was thinking how awful it would be if she made similiarly embellished cock rings…..& waaaaa laaaaa, yes she does & yes they are.
****************
I’m surprised nobody was modeling these!
June 11, 2010 at 11:54 am
How the hell are these things supposed to stay on? Am I the only one without huge, nob-like nipples?
I’m even more boggled by these:
http://www.etsy.com/listing/49146190/pink-crystal-bud-nipple-wires-treat?ref=v1_other_1
A mother’s day hit?? Really? WHAT??
June 11, 2010 at 11:58 am
Looks like a few fleas & bed bugs have suckled at that breast already.
Yuk.
June 11, 2010 at 11:58 am
I hope you know how to do the Heimlich Maneuver when your partner accidently starts choking on one of them!
June 11, 2010 at 12:02 pm
thembone, you put them on when your nipples are hard, and then push the ends of the wire together. They stay on because they put pressure on the nipple, keeping it erect.
Also, mothers are people too you know! I’m guessing it’s the mothers or dads buying these, not the kids (because that’s too gross). They buy dildos and vibrators that freak the hell out of snooping children – at least if the kids find these, they aren’t as obvious.
June 11, 2010 at 12:06 pm
#61 cassisia :
WOW hyperlink fail! First link is here
Second link is here
****************
Those look like they used to be paperclips! LOL!
June 11, 2010 at 12:07 pm
Her nip looks more like a wart on a long round chin. Thank goodness she tweezed before the glamor shot.
June 11, 2010 at 12:13 pm
Talika, I know :S unfortunately there isn’t much available for people who don’t like piercings, which mean’s we’re reduced to wearing ex office stationary, or things from Etsy that make me squeamish.
June 11, 2010 at 12:20 pm
ok. engoreged update.
i went home at lunch and attempted this.
my boobs don’t do this.
should i call a doctor, a mermaid, or what?
please advise.
June 11, 2010 at 12:28 pm
I never met a breast I didn’t like, until now. It’s bad enough to start out homely, worse to dress it poorly.
June 11, 2010 at 12:28 pm
Curly, you could always try your local adult store, or dominatrix if you’re feeling adventurous
June 11, 2010 at 12:31 pm
I’m just freaked out at the total lack of areola. The beads aren’t THAT big, there should be some sign of them around, right? I mean I’m no expert in nipples, but it looks more like the ring’s been put around an odd mole or wart than a nipple….
June 11, 2010 at 12:48 pm
Need your nipple jewellery to have matching clit clips? Try a Locking Chastity Lotus Clip! (where do people get these names from?!)
Or maybe you don’t feel that you nipples are your best feature. Why don’t you cover them up with I heart Marie Revolutionary Pasties!
June 11, 2010 at 12:54 pm
#76, How classic, pearls for our oh so plain clitoral hoods.
June 11, 2010 at 12:57 pm
A campanion piece to the missing ear phenom-the missing aereola.
June 11, 2010 at 1:07 pm
DuaeCat – I know! It’s creepy.
Not to be a Cryabeetus or anything, but Helen, could you please find a new horror to post? Clicking on Regretsy and getting an eyeful of painfully engorged nipple is squicking me out.
June 11, 2010 at 1:19 pm
wow, i did not need to see that oO i turn away for a second and am greeted with blurry boobs, awesome ><
i have one question – wtf is with that grey top? if you're going to post a picture of your boob you might as well go the whole hog and take ur top off lol
June 11, 2010 at 1:34 pm
Lesley Engoergeds newest song, ‘Its My Nipple & I’ll Cry if I Want To’ -you would cry too if it happened to you.
June 11, 2010 at 1:41 pm
June 11, 2010 at 1:44 pm
Glad I’m not the only one that saw a wart or mole that needed removal when looking at that. If that’s a tit, well… ewwww!
June 11, 2010 at 1:44 pm
I’m at work I keep looking at this damn thing anyways but I don’t want to look at it. I can’t stop looking at it! GDI, WHAT IS IT?! I will pay this seller to just let me know what’s going on here.
June 11, 2010 at 2:17 pm
my mr and i are too… amorous for such bejeweled jewelry for the bits. my dogs would end up finding one and choking on it and then how would I explain THAT to the vet?
June 11, 2010 at 2:23 pm
Leftfoot, your vet regularly has his fingers up animal asses. He is in no position to judge.
June 11, 2010 at 2:35 pm
Honestly, the thing that disturbs me the most is the fact that they don’t know how to find and use the “macro” setting on their camera.
June 11, 2010 at 2:44 pm
Is this a severed boob with a nipple ring?
June 11, 2010 at 3:17 pm
ew, it looks like an infected nip with green stuff coming out…poor boobeh.
June 11, 2010 at 3:29 pm
@skully o.m.g
COTD in my book.
June 11, 2010 at 3:50 pm
Vincent van Gogh cut off his ear for art……. this woman cut off her boob for her craft!!!
June 11, 2010 at 5:02 pm
i love that the areola is ps’ed out.
as in, seeing the breast is ok, seeing the areola isn’t
(but leaving the actual nipple is???)
June 11, 2010 at 6:37 pm
TMI WARNING
In defense of this woman’s breast(s), I also don’t have areolas. Or rather, I have very small ones that disappear when “engorged”. The more you know!
June 11, 2010 at 6:50 pm
“Let Him please you in to submission with the Green Mamba Cock Ring. You will both Come back for More. His Penis will impale you, when he wears this Cock Ring. It has beads in varying sizes and textures for more stimulating pleasure. You will both be satisfied. Cock Ring is 1.5 inches before stretching. Will stretch up to 3 inches in circumference.”
Owwww… I don’t want to be “impaled”. That sounds painful… This lady could NEVER write romance novels.
June 11, 2010 at 7:00 pm
@ # 83- ‘Green Mamba Cock ring’
Shit, I hope there is a supply of antivenom for that thing .
June 11, 2010 at 8:56 pm
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June 11, 2010 at 10:37 pm
…What if these don’t fit? What about people with larger or smaller or weirdly shaped nipples? Discrimination!
June 11, 2010 at 10:39 pm
They took the picture off the listing. Normally I would be sad at the loss of a regretsy-worthy picture, but not this time.
June 11, 2010 at 10:46 pm
Gah!
http://www.etsy.com/listing/46156658/fresh-water-pearls-nipple-wires-so?ref=v1_other_2
June 11, 2010 at 10:51 pm
Apparently, they did not take down all of the boob pictures.
http://www.etsy.com/listing/30392672/aquamarine-dangly-nipple-charm-set?ref=v1_other_2
June 11, 2010 at 11:31 pm
She’s gonna blow!
June 12, 2010 at 2:42 am
OMG this calls for the indian nipple song!
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bLpROhIg9eA
June 12, 2010 at 2:43 am
Your boob would be all splotchy too if you clamp a ring around your nipple and cut off blood circulation to it.
June 12, 2010 at 6:58 am
#95 Make it three children exposed, cause I showed it to my 19 year old when he asked what I was laughing at. His reaction was the same as Patty’s 18 year old.
June 12, 2010 at 8:19 am
OK, where the fuck is this woman’s areola? (Or as she might spell, “aeraeola”)
June 12, 2010 at 12:17 pm
#82 Good Grief!
June 12, 2010 at 3:11 pm
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June 12, 2010 at 6:48 pm
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June 12, 2010 at 6:49 pm
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June 12, 2010 at 8:54 pm
Since when is anything tears something that will inflame any lover? I prefer my lovers not to think of tears, but then I also prefer them not to think of mermaids and I prefer not to think of fire on my nipples. So clearly these aren’t the items for me.
June 14, 2010 at 7:30 am
Faerie. Areola. Faereola. Thank you, I’ll be here all week.
June 14, 2010 at 7:16 pm
WARNING: CHOKING HAZARD- Small parts. Should not be used by women who are nursing anyone under age 3 and/or are under the influence of alcohol.
June 21, 2010 at 6:21 pm
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August 4, 2010 at 11:34 am
This reminds me of that old horror flick “The Frozen Dead” The lady’s severed head is on a table she’s saying, “Bury me! Bury me!
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7nOeCZWno_U&feature=related
August 4, 2010 at 11:37 am
It’s your turn! Throw the dice! Kaboom!
August 6, 2010 at 9:48 pm
Nipple ring or an Areola?
Nipple ring or an Areola?
Nipple ring or an Areola?
Guess you’ve chosen huh? Well, look at the bright side..at least you can CHOOSE your colors for your nipple ring.
March 16, 2011 at 5:17 am
I just wanted to say, when I saw the thumbnail of this post, I thought it was some crazy pregnant lady’s outtie belly button ring. Really. I did.
April 15, 2011 at 5:03 pm
Did she put her boob on a plate for this photo?
April 15, 2011 at 5:03 pm
Did she put her boob on a plate for this photo?
June 21, 2011 at 9:40 am
Omg is this really nipple?
July 10, 2011 at 10:20 am
This woman has no areola. O.o
December 13, 2011 at 2:32 pm
Just went to the etsy page. The nipple od gone, so there’s no engoregement witness. They have added this little gem to the description:
“*Let us know your nipple size. ”
Um, my nipples are, you know, nipple-sized!
December 13, 2011 at 2:33 pm
Wow. Note to self – proofread before hitting send, proofread before hitting send.