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WTF Alchemy Request

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66 comments on WTF Alchemy Request

  1. Mookie
    June 9, 2010 at 1:37 pm

    Yes, for ten dollars a shirt, that’s sure to be quality!
    On a side note… really? Really. REALLY?! Is this REALLY something the BOYS do? *sigh*

    Thumb up Thumb down +37

  2. curlytopnola
    June 9, 2010 at 1:37 pm

    exactly. something BOYS do. not middle-aged men. BOYS. where are they goin’ anyway, HOOTERS? big time on the town, eh? whoo-hoo!

    ya know. i’m sorely disappointed in you west olive, michigan. i thought there were only 2 places to find these shirts in their natural habitat – a nascar race and the jersey shore….

    and do you need to see a picture of the crafter’s talent or their TALENT…nudge, nudge, wink, wink.

    callous people irritate me.

    Thumb up Thumb down +32

  3. Patty has been abducted by an Alien
    June 9, 2010 at 1:38 pm

    “Crazy…”

    No, not really.

    “…but this is something the BOYS do.”

    Unless “BOYS” is an acronym for some goofy club your husband started with his fantasy football buddies, then I have to differ. I have a few people of the male persuasion in my family and this isn’t something they’d do.

    Thumb up Thumb down +35

  4. denisewalks
    June 9, 2010 at 1:38 pm

    Is that for the boys “Deliverance” weekend?

    Thumb up Thumb down +79

  5. LeeLooDallas
    June 9, 2010 at 1:40 pm

    Well, we’ll all be able to spot your husband once it’s the weekend.

    Thumb up Thumb down +37

  6. LeeLooDallas
    June 9, 2010 at 1:42 pm

    I really, truly hope that NO ONE looks him in the eye for those two entire days!!!

    Thumb up Thumb down +88

  7. Cineaste
    June 9, 2010 at 1:42 pm

    If my husband wanted a t-shirt with custom airbrushed boobs on it, I’d give him a t-shirt with airbrushed divorce papers.

    Thumb up Thumb down +187

  8. spareGus
    June 9, 2010 at 1:43 pm

    ten whole dollars?! anything else I can get for you?

    Thumb up Thumb down +75

  9. LauraTheRed
    June 9, 2010 at 1:44 pm

    I guess now that he’s married he can do things that will guarantee he’ll never get laid.

    Thumb up Thumb down +117

  10. beaglemixtape
    June 9, 2010 at 1:44 pm

    Squeal like a pig, Denise! At least, one that is wearing a booby T-shirt.

    Has anyone noticed how these WTF alchemy requests always have just like 1 bid on them? There’s always some weird seller out there willing to respond…

    Thumb up Thumb down +17

  11. Bronc Drywall
    June 9, 2010 at 1:45 pm

    Wow, so CRAZY!!! And they’re like this all the time, my crazy boys!

    Thumb up Thumb down +23

  12. WulfslilRed
    June 9, 2010 at 1:45 pm

    Hidden due to low comment rating. Click here to see.

    Thumb up Thumb down -49

  13. Wilma Fingerdoo
    June 9, 2010 at 1:46 pm

    I guess womens lib has come along. Before, they’d say “grow some balls”. Now, we have Alchemy request for men growing some breasts. Must be progress.

    Still, I wonder if his buddies know of his brainstorming moobs for them. Secret fantasies of a a male tit fuck?

    Thumb up Thumb down +25

  14. hamoza
    June 9, 2010 at 1:50 pm

    My ‘girls’ think your boys are cheap and sleazy.

    Thumb up Thumb down +79

  15. Buzzkill To Teenagers
    June 9, 2010 at 1:54 pm

    I”m old enough to remember a publication from National Lampoon where every page was an iron-on T-shirt transfer. There was one of a mock “National Geographic” cover with old, saggy brown “native” boobs hanging from it. They were really realistic, too.

    Thumb up Thumb down +23

  16. cecikierk
    June 9, 2010 at 1:54 pm

    This is what boys do…and you let him?

    You are worse than people asking for art on Craigslist.

    Thumb up Thumb down -1

  17. 42otherthings
    June 9, 2010 at 1:56 pm

    Hidden due to low comment rating. Click here to see.

    Thumb up Thumb down -9

  18. bootsychoo
    June 9, 2010 at 1:56 pm

    Why does “the Bro” (or “Manssiere”, if you’re Frank Costanza) keep popping up in my head?

    Thumb up Thumb down +11

  19. genghiskaty
    June 9, 2010 at 2:00 pm

    Next time I go out for a weekend with the girls, I’m ordering skirts with penises on the front. Let’s go, Etsy. You can do this.

    Thumb up Thumb down +175

  20. thecatsmeow
    June 9, 2010 at 2:02 pm

    Every mall i’ve been to has a store or kiosk that airbrushes t-shirts. Put down the bon-bons, get out of your trailer and go to the freakin’ mall.

    Thumb up Thumb down +58

  21. BillsBayou
    June 9, 2010 at 2:03 pm

    Male breasts.

    You all seem to be under the assumption that she wants female breasts.

    Thumb up Thumb down +50

  22. hamoza
    June 9, 2010 at 2:04 pm

    I suppose a pertinent question to some ass wearing something like this would be ‘are those silkscreened titties or are you just happy to see me?’

    Thumb up Thumb down +5

  23. BillsBayou
    June 9, 2010 at 2:04 pm

    Dog breasts? An udder? She’s not very specific in her request.

    Thumb up Thumb down +26

  24. evacooper
    June 9, 2010 at 2:05 pm

    Hidden due to low comment rating. Click here to see.

    Thumb up Thumb down -7

  25. BillsBayou
    June 9, 2010 at 2:05 pm

    Ok, I know she wants girlie boobies, but what kind? Kate Moss? Rozanne Barr? Betty White?

    Thumb up Thumb down +25

  26. hamoza
    June 9, 2010 at 2:08 pm

    I don’t think Kate Moss has enough fat to have boobs Bill, so that leaves her out….

    Thumb up Thumb down +11

  27. IscreamUscream
    June 9, 2010 at 2:10 pm

    $10 wouldn’t cover the cost of a quality tee, sans breasts.

    Thumb up Thumb down +22

  28. zepp0marks
    June 9, 2010 at 2:10 pm

    I just checked in with my husband for his authoritative opinion on this matter. He feels that while he himself would find it profoundly disturbing to see his closest friends sporting breasts, he can see how a certain “type” of male would find this amusing.
    The term we came up with is those suffering from “degenerative frat disorder.”
    There is unfortunately no cure.

    Thumb up Thumb down +134

  29. Stretch65
    June 9, 2010 at 2:16 pm

    The breast is yet to come!!!

    Thumb up Thumb down +28

  30. Whisperia
    June 9, 2010 at 2:19 pm

    I’m actually intrigued by this. I wonder if I sent her $10 to cover the cost of a shirt for me, if the boys would let me tag along?

    And this doesn’t really shock me at all coming from western Michigan. I bet these guys are Michigan Militia.

    Thumb up Thumb down +8

  31. Skully
    June 9, 2010 at 2:19 pm

    Those crazy boys, always up to something wacky, like wearing merkin panties to the shooting range or camping out in their titty shirts.

    Thumb up Thumb down +57

  32. Buzzkill To Teenagers
    June 9, 2010 at 2:21 pm

    Why stop at t-shirts? Why not just get a few pairs of “novelty breasts” like these:
    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uRNoIUqfaqA&feature=related

    Thumb up Thumb down +1

  33. kirstenrana
    June 9, 2010 at 2:43 pm

    Watch out for a video on youtube with a bunch of guys in their breast t-shirts dancing to “I Touch Myself”.

    Thumb up Thumb down +25

  34. Vile & Evil Debbie Downer
    June 9, 2010 at 2:43 pm

    Whoever takes on this Alchemy project, here’s your template for realistic airbrushed boob shirts for the boys:
    http://i990.photobucket.com/albums/af28/sunshynegrll/boob.jpg

    Thumb up Thumb down +46

  35. hamoza
    June 9, 2010 at 2:50 pm

    @VEDD -EGADS, YIKES & FUUUUUCK, I would NOT like to cop a feel of those.

    Thumb up Thumb down +11

  36. Yzziefrog
    June 9, 2010 at 2:51 pm

    You know, I work in the promotional industry and I order custom-made t-shirts pretty much every day. This post brought to mind 3 things:

    - No way it can be done for that price, not custom airbrush. Not happening.

    - I folded enough men’s size XL to know that it’s HUGE – and any boobs airbrushed to fit that width would look like some horrible deformity that can only be corrected by copious application of napalm.

    - Add a beer belly, and you have the stuff female sexual dysfunction is…

    Thumb up Thumb down +28

  37. Yzziefrog
    June 9, 2010 at 2:56 pm

    I seriously thought of Photoshopping such a shirt, but my neocortex threatened to move to Tijuana if I attempted it. So please enjoy these unrelated squirrels.

    http://i175.photobucket.com/albums/w156/Yzziefrog/Fark%202009/farkretirementhouse.jpg

    Thumb up Thumb down +32

  38. Sir Winston Furchill
    June 9, 2010 at 2:58 pm

    Six XL shirts for a guys weekend with breasts painted on them? From Michigan, none the less?

    I think the appropriate answer would be “just have them take their shirts off.”

    If the tan-color is truly necessary, however, I’m sure someone as crafty as this poster could hunt down a bottle of Jergins tanning lotion, which would be within her $10 each limit…

    Thumb up Thumb down +27

  39. moi
    June 9, 2010 at 3:06 pm

    I love when alchemy people are “willing” to pay some (low) amount for the fully customized, made from scratch for you item that would cost 5 times as much if they went anywhere else. Like they are doing you a favor.

    Thumb up Thumb down +44

  40. moi
    June 9, 2010 at 3:07 pm

    I love it even more when there are actually bids on these ridiculous requests!

    Have some self worth people! Stop encouraging them!

    Thumb up Thumb down +17

  41. SuperSnark
    June 9, 2010 at 3:09 pm

    My question he’s married?? what happened?? Last time I checked he wasn’t the last man on earth, my advice to wife aim higher on the evolutionary scale for hubby #2!

    Oh yeah I Mr.Snark ever thought of wanting this-he wouldn’t he breathes with his mouth closed and knuckles don’t drag on the floor! I would promptly put up a alchemy request for a t with a big old saggy ball sack and actually wear if he wore his!

    Thumb up Thumb down +3

  42. dscokween
    June 9, 2010 at 3:10 pm

    I agree, #39 – skipping the photoshop which would be much easier to zazzle up some ‘dress-up’ shirts and linking my favorite video which must feature some of these boys:

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8tqEBQjWRws

    Thumb up Thumb down +2

  43. ciaohowdy
    June 9, 2010 at 3:13 pm

    Geez lady, just cut a big rectangle out the middle of some tan shirts from the dollar store. Taadaaaaa! MAN BOOBS! yesss! >fist pump<

    I'll take my $60 in small bills and candy pleez

    Thumb up Thumb down +36

  44. It’s the shirt for BOYS who like to BYOBs

    Thumb up Thumb down +8

  45. cassisia
    June 9, 2010 at 3:35 pm

    I married a guy who (willingly) lived in a backpackers for over a year because he enjoyed the company, the drinking, and the all round fun times. I know a LOT about “crazy boys” and have seen my fair share of toga parties, and drunk people with dicks on their faces. But if requested this, you can bet there would be some serious questions being asked.

    Thumb up Thumb down +5

  46. Buzzkill To Teenagers
    June 9, 2010 at 3:45 pm

    #41 dscokween : the popup ad for that video was for “Summer’s Breeze” feminine cleansing product. HAHAHAHA!

    (also my stepson should be in that video).

    Thumb up Thumb down +2

  47. HelenaHandbasket
    June 9, 2010 at 3:52 pm

    Why’d she marry a boy?

    Thumb up Thumb down +19

  48. bitzidee
    June 9, 2010 at 3:54 pm

    I am getting such a bad visual of a bunch of beer bellied hairy boys with man boobs wearing $10 tee shirts with airbrushed tits on the front and it is disturbing the voices in my head.
    Can you even buy an XL T shirt for $10. Maybe she should go get some of the “boys” old shirts and draw tits on them with a sharpie. That would suit her price range.

    Thumb up Thumb down +21

  49. spandy
    June 9, 2010 at 3:58 pm

    It’s the request for 6 XL shirts that makes me gag.
    Just cut holes in the shirts to expose their own hairy, saggy manboobs. And I hope they all get tan lines! And a million mosquito bites!

    Thumb up Thumb down +15

  50. hamoza
    June 9, 2010 at 4:15 pm

    Is this fuckery akin to ‘penis envy’?

    Maybe we should call these boobs ‘looters’.

    Thumb up Thumb down +6

  51. Skully
    June 9, 2010 at 4:20 pm

    @#48 Ham: Maybe this is “Jug Jealousy”?

    Thumb up Thumb down +14

  52. hamoza
    June 9, 2010 at 4:32 pm

    @Skully, #49-I think we should consult RCB, the ‘jug maven’, no?

    Thumb up Thumb down +4

  53. hamoza
    June 9, 2010 at 4:41 pm

    I wouldn’t hold my breath that anyone in this bunch has class, but when he goes off for the weekend with the guys ,I hope he at least leaves her a thanks for the mammaries note.
    Sorry.

    Thumb up Thumb down +14

  54. MyEyesMyEyes
    June 9, 2010 at 5:21 pm

    Do they want girl breasts or boy ones? And by the way, I read the “xl” as the size of the boobies at first.

    Thumb up Thumb down +6

  55. MyEyesMyEyes
    June 9, 2010 at 5:24 pm

    #41, if she is willing to put this request on Etsy and have these shirts custom made for him… they deserve each other!

    Thumb up Thumb down +8

  56. AccidentalHousewife
    June 9, 2010 at 5:42 pm

    Do they need the t-shirts so they can live with themselves after they go all Brokeback Mountain with each other?

    Thumb up Thumb down +5

  57. hamoza
    June 9, 2010 at 6:42 pm

    Hello titty tees are called for , but alas, the customer is too cheap.

    Thumb up Thumb down +5

  58. MAG
    June 9, 2010 at 7:23 pm

    If the guy is fat enough…cut a hole in the front of the shirt and he can show off his own boobs

    I’ll get my scissors and get on it…cause that’s all you gonna get for 10 bucks

    Thumb up Thumb down +2

  59. Brandis
    June 9, 2010 at 8:40 pm

    One thing that I will never understand is “men” that want to dress like women and sport fake breasts, yet they would NEVER call themselves anything like transvestites. What else is this urge that they have to look like females called then?

    Thumb up Thumb down +8

  60. hellsbells
    June 9, 2010 at 9:46 pm

    The scary part is that they actally received a bid for the job!

    Thumb up Thumb down +1

  61. snarkeygirl
    June 9, 2010 at 11:10 pm

    This is why I moved away from Michigan. This and humidity. Nothing funny about my statement, they’re just facts.

    Thumb up Thumb down +9

  62. brucifer
    June 10, 2010 at 10:15 am

    I am a boy. A beer drinking, ball scratching, sports fan, Kung Fu movie loving 100% boy, and we don’t do that. You couldn’t out that on my corpse without a fight. If I met those guys wearing those shirts, I would apply painful nurples to all of their airbrushed faux titties.

    Thumb up Thumb down +8

  63. redredred
    June 10, 2010 at 10:58 am

    If the boys are most likely a size XL…well not to be mean or anything…but I bet someone of them already have real looking boobs.

    Thumb up Thumb down +4

  64. PussDaddy
    June 10, 2010 at 11:47 am

    My “boy” doesn’t wear fake air brushed titty t-shirts.

    Thumb up Thumb down +4

  65. turnaround
    June 10, 2010 at 6:13 pm

    I want a pair of pants with airbrushed, realistic balls on them and a great big dick. It’s just something us GIRLS do.

    Oh, and send me pictures. Not of your artwork, but your great big dick. Convo me! THNX!!!!!

    *eye twitch*

    Thumb up Thumb down +19

  66. frankl
    June 5, 2011 at 7:59 pm

    Really? This ain’t something the boys around these parts do. And what kind of brainstorming session is this actually?

    Thumb up Thumb down 0

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