Because nothing says precious memories of a future life together and a first Father’s Day like $13.82 as your SOLE criteria for this gift.
If you treat Etsy like the Price is Right, I will send you Turtle Wax.
What I want to know is why it matters if she likes jewelry or ink pens. Isn’t this present for him? Nothing says “Happy First Father’s Day” more than “I’ll get you just about anything as long as it’s cheap”.
For $13.82 you can get 3pounds of Ranchers Reserve Beef Chuck Cross Rib Steak Boneless Thin Delivered to your house. You provide the BJ and youll have a successful Steak & BJ day, just watch that gag reflex. I remember being pregnant, it’s not romantic to take a barf break.
not to go all martha stewart, but if you have an ultrasound of this impending child, frame it
WAAAA-freakin’-LAAAAAA.
forget about the cheapness sister. work on your creativity. if you can’t figure out fun, special shit to do on a severe budget, your kid will break you.
oh. happy impending father’s day. that’ll be $13.82. have your paypal call my paypal.
[grandpa simpson]Back in my day, $13.82 could get you a lot of love. But it wasn’t modern love, because we could only by onions at the time, because fruit hadn’t been invented yet, and onions where at the time, the most common item for dowries. But then Hitler came and took all of the onions and that is why we celebrate Father’s day.[/Grandpa simpson]
Sheeeesh … I’m lost in admiration for all the gifts suggested which meet the exact budget limitations. Then I got lost in locating one myself.
Now here’s a little gem any father expecting his house to be turned upside down in a few months by a new arrival, will definitely appreciate. He will need the weight of history to sustain him.
“Like I was bored, and I wanted some attention…me? spend time taking prenatal classes or getting the nursery ready? = yeah RIGHT! not when there’s alkamy on Etsy…oh look shiny things”
“My husband and I are expecting our first child TOGETHER in December.”
So what you’re saying is, the other dad(s) took the bloom off the rose of this whole fatherhood thing, and since you can’t count on men (or they can’t count on you) to stick around, spare change is all you’re willing to spare this June.
I don’t know why but the fetus cat toy jumped into my head……..just sayin’. Cheap bitch, she could go buy a decent bottle of wine, light some candles and hit her knees, wouldn’t that be better than “I don’t care”? Wait til she finds out that baby will suck more than her paypal account dry.
#29 i literally LOL’d at that one. unless he’s a logician or a philosophy student that’s a $13.82 headache. actually if he’s a philosophy student it’s still a headache. poor russell. (anyone read Logicomix? i recommend it if you’re a geek like me)
Nothing says, “Happy Father’s Day, I’m so glad to be starting a family with you!” quite like a $13 gift you couldn’t be bothered to come up with yourself.
I actually posted something similar for father’s day about two years ago. I didn’t know what to get him but I had a budget. I ended up getting two perfect bids and the items I got for him are awesome.
Of course if I wanted to close out paypal I’d just transfer the funds to my bank account. :\
Nothing edible because she cooks and she doesn’t like ink pens? Maybe if she had given an idea about what he liked it would have been a little easier since it is a FATHER’S day and all, but hey, selfishness is in this season. I say she gives him $7 and keeps the rest for herself. She will just have to be extra careful he doesn’t buy anything she doesn’t like. Ah, true love.
Maybe she needs to look for something that doesn’t involve cooking. That may help her case. And I didn’t think a Father’s Day present had anything to do with what SHE liked. I thought Father’s Day presents were for the fathers?
June 4, 2010 at 1:14 pm
Here ya go cheapo and I won’t even charge you a finders fee.
http://www.dealextreme.com/details.dx/sku.5055
June 4, 2010 at 1:15 pm
Thirteen bucks, huh?
Just give him your PayPal password.
June 4, 2010 at 1:18 pm
Because nothing says precious memories of a future life together and a first Father’s Day like $13.82 as your SOLE criteria for this gift.
If you treat Etsy like the Price is Right, I will send you Turtle Wax.
June 4, 2010 at 1:18 pm
You know, I’ve heard rumors about this “Paypal” thing… as in, you can sorta add funds to it, to, you know, not appear so fucking cheap.
Just sayin’…
June 4, 2010 at 1:18 pm
Apparently, people take the word “Alchemy Request” so literally, they think you can turn shit into gold there.
June 4, 2010 at 1:25 pm
What I want to know is why it matters if she likes jewelry or ink pens. Isn’t this present for him? Nothing says “Happy First Father’s Day” more than “I’ll get you just about anything as long as it’s cheap”.
June 4, 2010 at 1:26 pm
For $13.82 you can get 3pounds of Ranchers Reserve Beef Chuck Cross Rib Steak Boneless Thin Delivered to your house. You provide the BJ and youll have a successful Steak & BJ day, just watch that gag reflex. I remember being pregnant, it’s not romantic to take a barf break.
June 4, 2010 at 1:27 pm
SHE’s not into ink pens, but what about HIM? Nothing says “Happy Father’s Day” like a nice 96-pack of extra fine, blue ink Bic roller ball pens!
June 4, 2010 at 1:29 pm
I’d suggest a densely woven jock strap, he’s going to need it.
June 4, 2010 at 1:29 pm
http://www.drugstore.com/products/prod.asp?pid=46660&catid=21300
June 4, 2010 at 1:29 pm
not to go all martha stewart, but if you have an ultrasound of this impending child, frame it
WAAAA-freakin’-LAAAAAA.
forget about the cheapness sister. work on your creativity. if you can’t figure out fun, special shit to do on a severe budget, your kid will break you.
oh. happy impending father’s day. that’ll be $13.82. have your paypal call my paypal.
June 4, 2010 at 1:29 pm
Ah, true luv. $13.82 worth of true luv.
June 4, 2010 at 1:30 pm
Legal paper is usually about $10 for 500 sheets, he could have his attorney file for a divorce on them…
June 4, 2010 at 1:30 pm
#10 Geektastic- hehehehehehehehe
June 4, 2010 at 1:36 pm
To help with the BJ: http://www.officequarters.com/product.php/prod_id/2524559.html
June 4, 2010 at 1:36 pm
Whoa, what happened to the spacing?
June 4, 2010 at 1:41 pm
Triple A that shit: http://www.theexecutiveadvertising.com/roadmateautosetblack.aspx
June 4, 2010 at 1:41 pm
He fathers her child–and her best idea is that $13.82 paypal balance? What-did some random guy knock her up?
June 4, 2010 at 1:41 pm
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June 4, 2010 at 1:43 pm
Or for his tender oral tissue:
http://www.medsupplyco.com/Perox-a-mint-Sage-Products-Inc-ZX-HAL6060
June 4, 2010 at 1:45 pm
[grandpa simpson]Back in my day, $13.82 could get you a lot of love. But it wasn’t modern love, because we could only by onions at the time, because fruit hadn’t been invented yet, and onions where at the time, the most common item for dowries. But then Hitler came and took all of the onions and that is why we celebrate Father’s day.[/Grandpa simpson]
June 4, 2010 at 1:51 pm
I kinda love that she doesn’t care. Just saying…
Everyone is just so predictable, and it’s like saying screw you, none of you matter.
June 4, 2010 at 1:51 pm
Sheeeesh … I’m lost in admiration for all the gifts suggested which meet the exact budget limitations. Then I got lost in locating one myself.
Now here’s a little gem any father expecting his house to be turned upside down in a few months by a new arrival, will definitely appreciate. He will need the weight of history to sustain him.
http://www.amazon.com/Oxford-History-Ancient-Egypt/dp/0192804588
June 4, 2010 at 2:02 pm
Okay, easy one-’even badgers lactate ‘ mug, $13.95.
Close enough.
June 4, 2010 at 2:18 pm
I, also, cook so nothing edible. It’s ok honey, we’re so in this together.
June 4, 2010 at 2:20 pm
It’s obviously all about her. You know, that’s exactly what Father’s Day was meant for. What pregnant moms to be want.
June 4, 2010 at 2:22 pm
@Hamoza, I think he may have already handed those over to her. No need for a jockstrap.
June 4, 2010 at 2:24 pm
There are at least 2 sides to everything, so maybe he got her a hideous fertility doily for her birthday & she’s getting even.
June 4, 2010 at 2:24 pm
Or you can get him this:
http://www.amazon.com/Principles-Mathematics-Bertrand-Russell/dp/0393314049
June 4, 2010 at 2:25 pm
Isn’t love grand!!!!
June 4, 2010 at 2:28 pm
So just because she cooks, she can’t ever buy anything edible? Whuuuaaah?
June 4, 2010 at 2:34 pm
I wonder what her Christmas shopping criteria are…?
June 4, 2010 at 2:37 pm
get him some cornhole bags
June 4, 2010 at 2:37 pm
You can buy this mu-g and have change left over for a big mac meal…you cheapskate!
http://www.thinkgeek.com/homeoffice/mugs/366f/
June 4, 2010 at 2:37 pm
Altoona is where Adventureland is and perhaps she is a bit resentful that there will be no riding the rides for her this summer.
June 4, 2010 at 2:42 pm
Hot damn!
http://www.dealextreme.com/details.dx/sku.14965
June 4, 2010 at 2:56 pm
“Like I was bored, and I wanted some attention…me? spend time taking prenatal classes or getting the nursery ready? = yeah RIGHT! not when there’s alkamy on Etsy…oh look shiny things”
June 4, 2010 at 3:00 pm
It was reduntant and a waste of her precious energy and Me Time to end her thoughtful missive with “…but I really don’t care”.
June 4, 2010 at 3:18 pm
“My husband and I are expecting our first child TOGETHER in December.”
So what you’re saying is, the other dad(s) took the bloom off the rose of this whole fatherhood thing, and since you can’t count on men (or they can’t count on you) to stick around, spare change is all you’re willing to spare this June.
Sweet.
June 4, 2010 at 3:38 pm
Oh look – I’m already getting thumbs up for my previous post “but I really don’t care
Thanks!”
June 4, 2010 at 3:48 pm
You’re worried about the father? How about that poor kid? The baby is coming in December…does that mean she’ll be cheap with the baby, too?
“Happy 1st Birthday, here’s your birthday/Christmas(Hannukah, Kwanza, etc.) gift!”
June 4, 2010 at 4:08 pm
I don’t know why but the fetus cat toy jumped into my head……..just sayin’. Cheap bitch, she could go buy a decent bottle of wine, light some candles and hit her knees, wouldn’t that be better than “I don’t care”? Wait til she finds out that baby will suck more than her paypal account dry.
June 4, 2010 at 4:21 pm
How about a couple posters for his man cave?
http://www.apennyearned.co.uk/oneposters.html
June 4, 2010 at 4:25 pm
I’m not certain how much more shipping would add onto this, but it’d perfectly express her feelings towards her husband:
http://www.thinkgeek.com/homeoffice/mugs/8b8c/
June 4, 2010 at 4:51 pm
#41 razberries, the word you’re searching for is Chrismahanukwanzaakuh.
June 4, 2010 at 5:12 pm
#29 i literally LOL’d at that one. unless he’s a logician or a philosophy student that’s a $13.82 headache. actually if he’s a philosophy student it’s still a headache. poor russell. (anyone read Logicomix? i recommend it if you’re a geek like me)
June 4, 2010 at 5:30 pm
#41 Razzberries:
Spoken like someone who has a December birthday! I’ve had 35 of them now, I’ve heard that line LOTS of times.
June 4, 2010 at 5:56 pm
http://amzn.to/asM3Cj
Since they seem to have missed it the first time.
(yes I realize it may have been planned.)
June 4, 2010 at 7:15 pm
She can’t afford the finished product but the pattern is only $1.50.
http://www.etsy.com/listing/48481796/pattern-tighty-whities-crocheted-mens?ref=sc_3
June 5, 2010 at 3:03 am
Nothing says, “Happy Father’s Day, I’m so glad to be starting a family with you!” quite like a $13 gift you couldn’t be bothered to come up with yourself.
June 5, 2010 at 3:37 am
Apathy — a symptom caused by Unwarranted Self-Importance Syndrome.
June 5, 2010 at 10:05 am
Here are my Etsy finds that she could afford:
http://www.etsy.com/listing/48185093/worlds-greatest-dad-save-and-print-pdf?ref=sr_gallery_3&ga_search_query=father%27s+day&ga_search_type=handmade&ga_page=&order=price_asc&includes=tags&includes=title
http://www.etsy.com/listing/44029332/ball-n-chain-necklace-17-inch?ref=sr_gallery_6&ga_search_query=father%27s+day&ga_search_type=handmade&ga_page=&order=price_asc&includes=tags&includes=title
http://www.etsy.com/listing/46543043/40-hand
June 5, 2010 at 10:16 am
And here are some items on the higher end of her price range
http://www.etsy.com/listing/47131528/pick-your-colors-three-pom-set?ref=sr_gallery_31&ga_search_query=fathers+day&ga_search_type=&ga_page=&max=13.82&order=price_desc&includes=tags&includes=title
http://www.etsy.com/listing/43765217/creepshow-fathers-day-cake-pin?ref=sr_gallery_6&ga_search_query=fathers+day&ga_search_type=&ga_page=2&max=13.82&order=price_desc&includes=tags&includes=title
http://www.etsy...
June 5, 2010 at 12:43 pm
I actually posted something similar for father’s day about two years ago. I didn’t know what to get him but I had a budget. I ended up getting two perfect bids and the items I got for him are awesome.
Of course if I wanted to close out paypal I’d just transfer the funds to my bank account. :\
June 5, 2010 at 12:54 pm
@#24 ~ That is BRILLIANT! I’d even throw in the .13 myself!
June 5, 2010 at 10:35 pm
#55, Aw shucks nitebyrd,I’m blushing- thanks!
June 6, 2010 at 2:53 pm
Nothing edible because she cooks and she doesn’t like ink pens? Maybe if she had given an idea about what he liked it would have been a little easier since it is a FATHER’S day and all, but hey, selfishness is in this season. I say she gives him $7 and keeps the rest for herself. She will just have to be extra careful he doesn’t buy anything she doesn’t like. Ah, true love.
June 6, 2010 at 6:51 pm
Maybe she needs to look for something that doesn’t involve cooking. That may help her case. And I didn’t think a Father’s Day present had anything to do with what SHE liked. I thought Father’s Day presents were for the fathers?
June 7, 2010 at 6:17 pm
How about putting that money towards a gift card which he can then use to get a new wife who gives a shit?
June 8, 2010 at 6:04 am
How much are crackheads charging for handjobs these days?
June 10, 2010 at 6:54 pm
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