Gee, you would think that the little boy and girl could STEP OVER the bear traps and be fine?
But wait, I forgot the important “concentric circles” detail. Now picturing a 5-year old kid with a saucepan on his head frantically trying to chew his leg off after it gets caught in a bear trap…
People like this are the reason http://clientsfromhell.tumblr.com exists. These are the folks that have a perfect image in our mind and expect you to clairvoyantly see that exact same image and put in on paper EXACTLY as they see it. These are the folks to whom you say, “I’m gonna need payment up front.”
I’ll give the requester this: at least they’re not abusing apostrophes (though they do seem to change their mind about whether “bear trap” has a hyphen or not). Really, if the request just said “I know this sounds strange but…” or otherwise showed a little self-awareness, it wouldn’t even be Regretsy-worthy. Oh, and maybe something about WHY they want such a disturbing picture. And maybe something to the effect that they know children and bear traps don’t mix… actually, yeah, this…
They want to micro-manage every aspect of the illustration, yet they only offer up $20.00. The vague reference to adjusting the price means they’ll go up or down maybe $10.
Yeah, right.
Plus the artist has to do a preliminary sketch FIRST.
Alchemy, again, proves itself to be the Wal-Mart of custom art requests.
For twenty bucks, I say give her Regretsy cat wearing skants, sitting in the middle of some trapezoids made from ass paint squirts, surrounded by mouse traps.
Oh, and throw in Varga with a Vulva bowl on his head.
When I saw this request, I quickly clicked away, with the same emotions (which in the shorthand of words is something like, “Oh, my God… get help”) with which I cross the street when I spot someone drooling, jabbering and dancing on the sidewalk ahead.
It’s the saucepan/hat that elevates this from standard Freudian imagery to just fucking stupid. I can’t imagine encouraging this image to remain in my brain, and I certainly wouldn’t pay to immortalize it.
And my friends thought I was weird when I told them I had a dream that I was partying with Darth Vader. Let me tell you guys, ole Vader is a gas! And Hugh Laurie lives in a treehouse in my back yard.
But these people… these people are REALLY fucked in the head. They make me feel good about myself.
Ah, yes . . . I’ve had this dream before. The terrible little saucepan wearing boy is setting his sister in a bear trapped mine field because she melted all his toy soldiers in her easy bake and served them up to him for his birthday . . .
Oh, wait . . . that was my childhood. Sorry, little bro!
So, last night, I had a dream that included sunflowers (growing from the ground), the guy who plays Dangle in “Reno 911″, myself except I was healthy because I was running around, and we were being dive-bombed by a flock of cardinals and blue jays.
Oh, and we were wearing multi-colored Wellies and each wore one ill-fitting gardening glove.
Avoiding all obvious “get thee to therapy” jokes, who the hell thinks those animal traps are “cartoony”? They look horrific to me. This whole request is dark and disturbing. Oh wait no. I meant, “cartoony.”
It’s the “concentric circles” that has me – I just have visions of a bear trap in a bigger bear trap in a bigger bear trap… like some weird Russian Doll thing, but with teeth.
I don’t really see what’s wrong with this; if properly depicted it would make a striking surrealist image. I also don’t get what’s so “disturbing” about it, I’ve seen beautiful work by professional artists with far more disturbing themes than this. Some art is intended to be disturbing. I think you all are just a little too sheltered XD
Though I would have liked for the requester to explain the symbolism behind the image.
Well, the beautiful thing about living in a democracy is that no one gives a fat shit what you think. – HK
Dear #48,
Why?
I don’t see why any mature, open minded person (or anyone who owns a copy of the original Grimms Fairy Tales would be offended by an image like this.
p.s. Cute picture; couldn’t think of something to say on your own?
Andrea-
I am not “offended” by this alchemy request. I don’t get offended by anything. Life’s too short. I just think it sounds dopey, and cliched. Weird for the sake of weird. I also don’t see how a quality surreal painting like this can be done for less than $1000.
That’s only my opinion, naturally. I don’t presume to speak for everyone here; or declare that they’re all immature, narrowminded, and sheltered. If that’s an approach that works for you, knock yourself out.
I don’t see why anyone would ever find anything funny. Don’t you know there’s an oil spill going on?
And yes, that’s EXACTLY how “The Lady and the Lion” ends – in the original.
Hmm… the rule against disagreeing with people on this site should really be more clearly posted.
The way you people act it’s like I went on a full blown rant in the requesters defense or something. I just expressed an opinion that was different than yours. It’s not a big deal.
p.s. @ Monstrosa,
It’s not that I don’t find anything funny, I just don’t find this funny. I wouldn’t subscribe to Regretsy if I thought that nothing on it was funny.
Feel free to disagree. I think that’s what everyone is doing in this thread. – HK
Andrea, you’re allowed to disagree with anyone over anything. We’re all grownups here.
It’s just that when you imply that the reason you’re disagreeing is that everyone else is just not as mature/openminded/enlightened as you… well you can see why that might get under someone’s skin.
OK, I know I’m coming to the party a bit late, but I’d like to add my two cents: The little boy down the street that I played with as a child later went on to bludgeon his parents to death in their sleep. And even I don’t have thoughts/nightmares like this…and I’d have a damn good excuse!
@VEDD-
WOW. You are awesome.
Now that’s the stuff that dreams are made of.
I particularly enjoy the mousetrap in the crotch of Varga. Only on Regretsy would I type such a sentence.
Beautiful.
May 27, 2010 at 9:15 am
Man, if I wanted a sketch of every Nyquil and Knob Creek-fueled nightmare I’ve ever had, some Etsy artist would be very rich.
May 27, 2010 at 9:15 am
The phrase “nightmare transcriptionist” popped into my head.
May 27, 2010 at 9:17 am
It is describing how the couple first met. The picture is in their heads (memory) but they have no skills.
If I had someone draw my first boyfriend it would be me and G______ age 4 playing “CHIPS” on out tricycles at the church preschool.
May 27, 2010 at 9:18 am
I really hope these people don’t own a daycare.
May 27, 2010 at 9:18 am
This listing made my heart cringe.
May 27, 2010 at 9:21 am
I would love to see how Thomas Kinkade would interpret this.
May 27, 2010 at 9:21 am
Gee, you would think that the little boy and girl could STEP OVER the bear traps and be fine?
But wait, I forgot the important “concentric circles” detail. Now picturing a 5-year old kid with a saucepan on his head frantically trying to chew his leg off after it gets caught in a bear trap…
May 27, 2010 at 9:22 am
People like this are the reason http://clientsfromhell.tumblr.com exists. These are the folks that have a perfect image in our mind and expect you to clairvoyantly see that exact same image and put in on paper EXACTLY as they see it. These are the folks to whom you say, “I’m gonna need payment up front.”
May 27, 2010 at 9:22 am
If she got in there safely, what’s the worry?
May 27, 2010 at 9:24 am
*THEIR mind. Damn that Nyquil and Knob Creek coctail. I blame you #1!!
May 27, 2010 at 9:26 am
I would preferably like you to submit yourself first to psychiatric care.
May 27, 2010 at 9:26 am
@Misttletoe I love clients from hell! It makes me feel better about the people I work with, only a small handful are like that.
May 27, 2010 at 9:28 am
Is this from a fond childhood memory?
May 27, 2010 at 9:31 am
This only confirms what I’ve always known,that there is much more to fear from humans than any wild animal in the forest.
May 27, 2010 at 9:32 am
Unless James Jean frequents etsy, somehow I doubt this will end well.
May 27, 2010 at 9:38 am
“Our heads?” Is the the royal “our” or the Sybil “our”?
May 27, 2010 at 9:39 am
perfect wall adornment for the addams family nursery
May 27, 2010 at 9:43 am
Does a bear shit crappy crafts in the woods?
May 27, 2010 at 9:48 am
Hidden due to low comment rating. Click here to see.
May 27, 2010 at 9:51 am
Hidden due to low comment rating. Click here to see.
May 27, 2010 at 10:02 am
RCB: Maybe this Alchemy Request came from the two headed unicorn.
May 27, 2010 at 10:12 am
I’ll give the requester this: at least they’re not abusing apostrophes (though they do seem to change their mind about whether “bear trap” has a hyphen or not). Really, if the request just said “I know this sounds strange but…” or otherwise showed a little self-awareness, it wouldn’t even be Regretsy-worthy. Oh, and maybe something about WHY they want such a disturbing picture. And maybe something to the effect that they know children and bear traps don’t mix… actually, yeah, this…
May 27, 2010 at 10:12 am
wait…is the boy setting them or disarming them? :O
May 27, 2010 at 10:13 am
Hidden due to low comment rating. Click here to see.
May 27, 2010 at 10:22 am
Somebody’s been doing too many shrooms.
Maybe this person and the outhouse guy are drug buddies?
May 27, 2010 at 10:22 am
There’s a Mittens joke in here somewhere.
May 27, 2010 at 10:31 am
They want to micro-manage every aspect of the illustration, yet they only offer up $20.00. The vague reference to adjusting the price means they’ll go up or down maybe $10.
Yeah, right.
Plus the artist has to do a preliminary sketch FIRST.
Alchemy, again, proves itself to be the Wal-Mart of custom art requests.
May 27, 2010 at 10:44 am
By “our heads,” she means hers that everyone else can see and the other one in her mind.
May 27, 2010 at 10:59 am
For twenty bucks, I say give her Regretsy cat wearing skants, sitting in the middle of some trapezoids made from ass paint squirts, surrounded by mouse traps.
Oh, and throw in Varga with a Vulva bowl on his head.
May 27, 2010 at 10:59 am
When I saw this request, I quickly clicked away, with the same emotions (which in the shorthand of words is something like, “Oh, my God… get help”) with which I cross the street when I spot someone drooling, jabbering and dancing on the sidewalk ahead.
May 27, 2010 at 11:08 am
It’s the saucepan/hat that elevates this from standard Freudian imagery to just fucking stupid. I can’t imagine encouraging this image to remain in my brain, and I certainly wouldn’t pay to immortalize it.
May 27, 2010 at 11:14 am
I bet this request came from Wile E. Coyote.
May 27, 2010 at 11:24 am
@#28 Wilma: That’s the funniest damned thing I’ve read all morning, thank you.
May 27, 2010 at 11:36 am
And my friends thought I was weird when I told them I had a dream that I was partying with Darth Vader. Let me tell you guys, ole Vader is a gas! And Hugh Laurie lives in a treehouse in my back yard.
But these people… these people are REALLY fucked in the head. They make me feel good about myself.
So, thanks for that, Helen!
May 27, 2010 at 11:36 am
Ah, yes . . . I’ve had this dream before. The terrible little saucepan wearing boy is setting his sister in a bear trapped mine field because she melted all his toy soldiers in her easy bake and served them up to him for his birthday . . .
Oh, wait . . . that was my childhood. Sorry, little bro!
May 27, 2010 at 11:50 am
#34, You’re looking at it the wrong way. The girl isn’t trapped, she is willing bait. Kinda reminds me of the cover for Hard Candy
May 27, 2010 at 12:01 pm
a saucepan for a helmet?
Are you insane?
May 27, 2010 at 12:27 pm
I’m really surprised there’s no Precious Moments figurine of this scene yet.
May 27, 2010 at 12:34 pm
So, last night, I had a dream that included sunflowers (growing from the ground), the guy who plays Dangle in “Reno 911″, myself except I was healthy because I was running around, and we were being dive-bombed by a flock of cardinals and blue jays.
Oh, and we were wearing multi-colored Wellies and each wore one ill-fitting gardening glove.
Now, for $20, if you could put that on paper…
May 27, 2010 at 1:08 pm
The side-effects of Absinthe again rear their head
May 27, 2010 at 1:28 pm
Hansel and Gretl: The Early Years. Maybe it wasn’t really the witch they had to worry about.
May 27, 2010 at 2:35 pm
Avoiding all obvious “get thee to therapy” jokes, who the hell thinks those animal traps are “cartoony”? They look horrific to me. This whole request is dark and disturbing. Oh wait no. I meant, “cartoony.”
May 27, 2010 at 2:37 pm
Since when are bear traps “those cartoony things”? Has he/she ever tried walking into one? It’s a strong possibility with whatever they are on.
May 27, 2010 at 2:37 pm
@42 We were posting the same though at the same time.
May 27, 2010 at 3:36 pm
#2 RuthX :
The phrase “nightmare transcriptionist” popped into my head.
i must work that into conversation soon.
May 27, 2010 at 3:54 pm
Trust me when I say that I can fully understand not liking kids very much, but this? Really??
May 27, 2010 at 4:06 pm
It’s the “concentric circles” that has me – I just have visions of a bear trap in a bigger bear trap in a bigger bear trap… like some weird Russian Doll thing, but with teeth.
May 27, 2010 at 6:05 pm
I don’t really see what’s wrong with this; if properly depicted it would make a striking surrealist image. I also don’t get what’s so “disturbing” about it, I’ve seen beautiful work by professional artists with far more disturbing themes than this. Some art is intended to be disturbing. I think you all are just a little too sheltered XD
Though I would have liked for the requester to explain the symbolism behind the image.
Well, the beautiful thing about living in a democracy is that no one gives a fat shit what you think. – HK
May 27, 2010 at 6:17 pm
Dear #48
May 27, 2010 at 6:23 pm
Hidden due to low comment rating. Click here to see.
May 27, 2010 at 6:50 pm
Andrea-
I am not “offended” by this alchemy request. I don’t get offended by anything. Life’s too short. I just think it sounds dopey, and cliched. Weird for the sake of weird. I also don’t see how a quality surreal painting like this can be done for less than $1000.
That’s only my opinion, naturally. I don’t presume to speak for everyone here; or declare that they’re all immature, narrowminded, and sheltered. If that’s an approach that works for you, knock yourself out.
May 27, 2010 at 6:51 pm
I don’t see why anyone would ever find anything funny. Don’t you know there’s an oil spill going on?
And yes, that’s EXACTLY how “The Lady and the Lion” ends – in the original.
May 27, 2010 at 6:57 pm
Julia wins the internet.
May 27, 2010 at 7:22 pm
Hidden due to low comment rating. Click here to see.
May 27, 2010 at 7:29 pm
Andrea, you’re allowed to disagree with anyone over anything. We’re all grownups here.
It’s just that when you imply that the reason you’re disagreeing is that everyone else is just not as mature/openminded/enlightened as you… well you can see why that might get under someone’s skin.
May 27, 2010 at 8:18 pm
OK, I know I’m coming to the party a bit late, but I’d like to add my two cents: The little boy down the street that I played with as a child later went on to bludgeon his parents to death in their sleep. And even I don’t have thoughts/nightmares like this…and I’d have a damn good excuse!
May 27, 2010 at 9:28 pm
Wilma Fingerdoo,
This is just for you:
May 27, 2010 at 10:20 pm
hahahahaha, cat in skants, ass painting, can’t breathe…
well shit. here i missed being insulted and a semi-flounce. damn.
May 28, 2010 at 5:03 am
Me, too. Was out trying to capture a feral kitten that got itself stuck in my woodpile most of the night.
May 28, 2010 at 6:21 am
@VEDD-
WOW. You are awesome.
Now that’s the stuff that dreams are made of.
I particularly enjoy the mousetrap in the crotch of Varga. Only on Regretsy would I type such a sentence.
Beautiful.
May 28, 2010 at 10:30 am
this is how people in New York visualize nature
May 28, 2010 at 10:59 am
So THAT’S how you trap PedoBear.
May 29, 2010 at 12:57 am
Hey I might steal that drawing for one of my fucked up embroideries. It looks Jungian, right?
November 2, 2010 at 8:28 pm
“we?” like, the royal “we,” man? or is Two-Face having ideals?