This has got to be the most mental excuse for clothing I have ever seen. I can’t even snark it, I can feel my brain melting every time I look at those pictures.
No amounts of double stick tape would ever make that thing even remotely safe to wear in public. (And this is before you even consider how everyone would be laughing at the shoddy construction.)
#10: I kinda suspect the seller saw that her dress hit Regretsy and just made it look like the dress was reserved for someone. I can’t believe someone would actually be mad enough to buy this dress.
I don’t understand. There’s some good stuff in her shop, so she clearly knows how to sew. This thing looks like it won the “You Have 5 Minutes” challenge on Project Runway.
#21 Calophi: Indeed.
I guess “Organic earthy dress” means “Unfinished, I want an excuse to flash my tits, brown/green/yellow material mauled by wild animal”.
I bet the model thinks she looks hot. Like HOTT hot. Look at her, all smirky and humping the wall. Totally awesome for the malnourished zero-chested rebel teenager in us all.
@Efit- I dunno. That shit is crazy.
This one, though, is my fav. I can my son saying something totally inappropriate to this person.
“Hey lady, why do you look like a raccoon? What kind of raccoon wears ugly flowers in their hair?” http://www.etsy.com/listing/25847498/lily-hair-fascinator
@#19 – Sorry, Bronc. Just went through about half the shop and the whole thing just screams “train wreck.” So much fugly in there, including a Guatemalan belt I’m sure they got at Goodwill b/c I gave it away 17 years ago when it was “hip” for about 5 minutes.
I want to punch that small framed bitch right in the throat, mainly because she didn’t laugh RIGHT IN THE FACE of the imbecile who “made” this “garment” when it was offered to her to model.
From her profile: “I use mostly recycled materials and let them form themselves into their secret desires.” Apparently most of her fabrics are masochists. I’m not sure they would have otherwise “always dreamed” of becoming something that looks like a goat threw it up.
Despite the train wreck that is that dress, somehow it’s the socks I just can’t get over. Who thought it was a good idea to pair a dress (okay, I am being kind) with black trouser socks and a pair of loafers?
But… that’s horrible, the shoes don’t match the dress! Come to think of it, the socks don’t match the shoes, the wall doesn’t match the carpet, the carpet doesn’t match the socks, and so on, ad infinitum (and ad nauseam). Now I’m in a nostalgic mood, thinking about my granparents’ living room in the 70s with its mismatching colors/patterns of wallpaper/couch/carpet/curtains.
Did you see that she’s also selling “repurposed bras”? There’s a reason you’re not supposed to donate used undergarments to charity, and you’re CERTAINLY not supposed to sell them…
May 27, 2010 at 1:33 pm
Androgyny FTW? FTL? FML for looking at this?
May 27, 2010 at 1:34 pm
I guess they’re wrong about it being best on small frames!
May 27, 2010 at 1:35 pm
Hung jury.
No seriously, they hung themselves.
May 27, 2010 at 1:37 pm
This would get five thumbs up on People Of Wal Mart.
May 27, 2010 at 1:38 pm
That is the fugliest thing I have ever seen! It looks like something my dog tore up and then a 6 year old kid tried to mend it…………..gawd!
May 27, 2010 at 1:39 pm
My EYES.
This has got to be the most mental excuse for clothing I have ever seen. I can’t even snark it, I can feel my brain melting every time I look at those pictures.
May 27, 2010 at 1:39 pm
Apparently “caress” means something different in Northern California
May 27, 2010 at 1:40 pm
I wonder if I can get those socks too.. hmmm.
May 27, 2010 at 1:41 pm
I think that model deserves an Oscar for keeping a straight face.
May 27, 2010 at 1:42 pm
No amounts of double stick tape would ever make that thing even remotely safe to wear in public. (And this is before you even consider how everyone would be laughing at the shoddy construction.)
May 27, 2010 at 1:45 pm
I would like to see a picture of the person that this ‘dress’ is reserved for. GAH!
May 27, 2010 at 1:47 pm
It looks like someone bought a mens suit at the thrift store and left it in a bunch on the floor before tying it on with string.
May 27, 2010 at 1:47 pm
And what’s even funnier is that it’s a “reserved” listing….meaning someone asked for it to be made! WTH did they ask for?
May 27, 2010 at 1:47 pm
#10: I kinda suspect the seller saw that her dress hit Regretsy and just made it look like the dress was reserved for someone. I can’t believe someone would actually be mad enough to buy this dress.
May 27, 2010 at 1:50 pm
Looks like she’s trying to achieve Blue Steel with the look on her face.
May 27, 2010 at 1:50 pm
…I think she’s trying to be Morrigan from the game Dragon Age!
http://elixsir.com/wp-content/uploads/2009/11/morrigan2.jpg
Sorta.
May 27, 2010 at 1:52 pm
More additional brilliance…http://www.etsy.com/listing/21491453/op-art-thingamabob?ref=v1_other_1
May 27, 2010 at 1:59 pm
#16 nannoneto :
More additional brilliance…http://www.etsy.com/listing/21491453/op-art-thingamabob?ref=v1_other_1
******************************
TABLECLOTH!
May 27, 2010 at 2:00 pm
…and some “raw edging” where the seam ripper leaped from my hand in protest and commenced stabbing me.
May 27, 2010 at 2:01 pm
I don’t understand. There’s some good stuff in her shop, so she clearly knows how to sew. This thing looks like it won the “You Have 5 Minutes” challenge on Project Runway.
May 27, 2010 at 2:02 pm
to be clear. this is not a dress.
this is not even clothing.
this is fabric-vomit with great big whip stitches.
and i wouldn’t pay 85 cents for it.
May 27, 2010 at 2:03 pm
#7 redredred :
Apparently “curves” ALSO means something different in northern California….
May 27, 2010 at 2:07 pm
Regretku
Street corner
Near downtown
The courtesan is in brown…
Money will change hands
May 27, 2010 at 2:09 pm
#21 Calophi: Indeed.
I guess “Organic earthy dress” means “Unfinished, I want an excuse to flash my tits, brown/green/yellow material mauled by wild animal”.
May 27, 2010 at 2:16 pm
I might be able to pull off wearing the dress…but I don’t think I could get away with those socks!
OK – seriously though…even if I COULD get away with the dress (which I really couldn’t) I certainly WOULDN’T do it.
May 27, 2010 at 2:16 pm
Yet another item that looks like it was assembled during an earthquake. Only this one looks ready for the apocalypse.
May 27, 2010 at 2:16 pm
At the risk of bringing up an old, dead meme…
Is her hed pastede on yey?!
May 27, 2010 at 2:19 pm
I read it as “lots of color flesh accents”.
I am grateful I do not have a small frame, for once.
May 27, 2010 at 2:20 pm
I bet the model thinks she looks hot. Like HOTT hot. Look at her, all smirky and humping the wall. Totally awesome for the malnourished zero-chested rebel teenager in us all.
May 27, 2010 at 2:24 pm
One wrong move and “Whoops there it is.”
May 27, 2010 at 2:25 pm
What curves?
May 27, 2010 at 2:32 pm
“What can Brown UPS Stripper do for you?”
May 27, 2010 at 2:36 pm
Did you mean “Who whore it better?”.
May 27, 2010 at 2:37 pm
Everything, and I mean everything, in those photos are fucking ugly. YUCK.
May 27, 2010 at 2:38 pm
@ #30 thatjennchick – My thought exactly!
May 27, 2010 at 2:39 pm
Jesus Christ, what the hell is this?
http://www.etsy.com/listing/25107637/sale-blue-silver-wings-dress?ref=v1_other_2
May 27, 2010 at 2:44 pm
@Efit- I dunno. That shit is crazy.
This one, though, is my fav. I can my son saying something totally inappropriate to this person.
“Hey lady, why do you look like a raccoon? What kind of raccoon wears ugly flowers in their hair?”
http://www.etsy.com/listing/25847498/lily-hair-fascinator
May 27, 2010 at 2:44 pm
@#19 – Sorry, Bronc. Just went through about half the shop and the whole thing just screams “train wreck.” So much fugly in there, including a Guatemalan belt I’m sure they got at Goodwill b/c I gave it away 17 years ago when it was “hip” for about 5 minutes.
May 27, 2010 at 2:56 pm
CAUTION! CHOKING HAZARD… And that’s just from looking at it…
May 27, 2010 at 3:02 pm
May 27, 2010 at 3:17 pm
WOW! JUDGE JOE BROWN’S LEGS!
May 27, 2010 at 3:31 pm
#17 nannoneto :
those are my moms curtains from the kitchen in the late 60′s.
May 27, 2010 at 3:48 pm
http://www.etsy.com/listing/31032542/supernova
Uh, your dog left a little supernova on my lawn.
May 27, 2010 at 3:55 pm
I want to punch that small framed bitch right in the throat, mainly because she didn’t laugh RIGHT IN THE FACE of the imbecile who “made” this “garment” when it was offered to her to model.
May 27, 2010 at 3:56 pm
Didn’t J-lo wear this to some awards ceremony once?
May 27, 2010 at 4:01 pm
I know when I think “sweet concoction”, I think “chocolate” and “mustard”.
Except I’m not pregnant.
I’m not a pot smoker.
And the pain medication I take is prescribed by a real doctor for real pain.
May 27, 2010 at 4:06 pm
Patty – I like you.
May 27, 2010 at 4:15 pm
Looks like the paint-farter practised on the wall behind her.
Yuk.
May 27, 2010 at 4:15 pm
That’s awesome, ISUS!
May 27, 2010 at 4:22 pm
Skully–yeah, that color scheme just begs for it.
I cannot imagine taking someone out dressed like that.
May 27, 2010 at 4:32 pm
ISUS, kicking out:yes, taking out:no.
May 27, 2010 at 4:42 pm
Who wore it better?
The curtin rod before the dogs came and chewed up the fabric.
Why is she wearing my Dads socks
May 27, 2010 at 4:51 pm
Sweet Jumping Jesus…is that Johnnie Cochran? And isn’t he dead? And if yes is the answer to both then I wish I looked that hot, legal and dead.
May 27, 2010 at 5:09 pm
“Organic earthy dress drapes and caresses your curves.”
Translation: “No tailoring skills whatsoever.”
“Vintage fabric in chocolate and mustard colored trims grace this sweet concoction.”
Translation: “Old brown cloth and yellow stuff with sticky spots.”
“Slight dropped waist rests just above the hips.”
Translation: “This was going to be an apron, but my dog ate the pattern, so I got really high and don’t remember what happened after that.”
May 27, 2010 at 5:10 pm
“Lots of color flash accents, some hand stitching decorative elements and neon yellow serged edges and some raw edging create a real show stopper.”
Translation: “I didn’t have any brown thread so I used what was left over from a clown costume. And – whoops! – forgot a few hems.”
“This reveals lots of skin and is a very tantalizing cut.”
Translation: “Indecent exposure is only a misdemeanor.”
“Wear over a slip or leggings for more coverage.”
Translation: “I can’t help…
May 27, 2010 at 5:13 pm
“Wear over a slip or leggings for more coverage.”
Translation: “I can’t help it if you’re not an exhibitionist.”
“Best on small frames.”
Translation: “Ran out of fabric.”
May 27, 2010 at 5:24 pm
one of mine made it! hooray! … yeah this thing is just frightening.
May 27, 2010 at 5:57 pm
#54-56 Vile & Evil Debbie Downer: Thank you for the “Delusional Etsy Seller to The Fucking Rest Of Us” translation. It’s all clear to me now.
May 27, 2010 at 7:12 pm
May Day! May Day! I can’t freakin’ sew!!
http://www.etsy.com/listing/23202383/may-day-shirt
May 27, 2010 at 7:47 pm
Look at your man. Now look at Joe Brown. Now BACK to your man. Now BACK to Joe Brown.
May 27, 2010 at 8:39 pm
ISUS- Captain. That is the bestest ever.
May 27, 2010 at 9:57 pm
Open up your scrap fabric stash, pull out longest cuttings out have, wrap around super skinny chick, attach random ribbon. Done and done.
May 28, 2010 at 12:44 am
C’mon people!! We’re being played!
May 28, 2010 at 4:00 am
She looks just enough like Cynthia Nixon (Miranda on Sex in the city) that I assumed it was an actual costume from an episode/the new movie.
May 28, 2010 at 6:00 am
That is not a dress. That is what happens when you run a sewing machine randomly over a bunch of scraps.
Even revealing dresses should fit. That doesn’t fit; that’s just keeping her legal by the skin of its teeth.
May 28, 2010 at 7:33 am
If she’s going to mention curves in the description. Shouldn’t the model HAVE curves?
May 28, 2010 at 7:35 am
Here’s another beauty from the same seller. It’s a combination Cafe Curtain/Poncho I call it a Curcho*:
http://www.etsy.com/listing/21491453/op-art-thingamabob
* Translation: Dipshit
May 28, 2010 at 8:48 am
From her profile: “I use mostly recycled materials and let them form themselves into their secret desires.” Apparently most of her fabrics are masochists. I’m not sure they would have otherwise “always dreamed” of becoming something that looks like a goat threw it up.
May 28, 2010 at 9:24 am
Is that Jennifer Love Hewitt? No wonder “Ghost Whisperer” was canceled.
May 28, 2010 at 10:55 am
Looks like someone shit down her front and then belted it.
May 28, 2010 at 12:25 pm
Despite the train wreck that is that dress, somehow it’s the socks I just can’t get over. Who thought it was a good idea to pair a dress (okay, I am being kind) with black trouser socks and a pair of loafers?
May 28, 2010 at 1:41 pm
I want to unsee this
May 28, 2010 at 2:52 pm
Wait…when did Betty Rubble start stripping?
May 29, 2010 at 11:46 am
But… that’s horrible, the shoes don’t match the dress! Come to think of it, the socks don’t match the shoes, the wall doesn’t match the carpet, the carpet doesn’t match the socks, and so on, ad infinitum (and ad nauseam). Now I’m in a nostalgic mood, thinking about my granparents’ living room in the 70s with its mismatching colors/patterns of wallpaper/couch/carpet/curtains.
May 30, 2010 at 12:46 pm
The shoes with those socks freaks me out even more than the dress…..
June 10, 2010 at 11:05 am
I’ll take the shoes if they’re a size 7.
July 28, 2011 at 11:21 pm
Did you see that she’s also selling “repurposed bras”? There’s a reason you’re not supposed to donate used undergarments to charity, and you’re CERTAINLY not supposed to sell them…
August 6, 2011 at 12:21 am
Bitch stole my look.