Good Will Bin Store Special!
Best translation ever. I didn’t they translated bullshit, though. I’ll keep that in mind. I’m sure it will come in handy.
I really, really need to start sewing random crap together. Maybe then I wouldn’t have to downsize.
I dress my scarecrow better than that. Though, come to think of it, this might be more effective at scaring things.
I didn’t *know* they translated bullshit. Looks like I need a translator to type for me. duh!
“I can’t sew”
…or see colors or patterns and I don’t know what “great ankle detail” actually means.
Oh Looks it’s a Slarf…. a slip and a scarf glued together.
@32 Kitty, why would you do that to someone is already down on their luck? Nothing about this outfit says “good will”… that’s just mean!
Three word description: David Lee Roth.
*brain melts, dribbles out ears*
#2, I have yet to visit a Goodwill store that would use this as anything other than a cleaning rag.
What’s up with the purple amputee stump socks at the bottom? Glad we didn’t have to view this fetching piece of fuckery in a room.
My 6 year old used to wear similar outfits, back when she was in pre-school. I tried to tell her how ridiculous she looked and I definitely did not pay $48 for the look. Of course I didn’t know it reflected essence… I thought it was obvious she just had a ton of cheap clothes from Goodwill and Walmart
What organic form of nature is this supposed to be exactly?
I’m strangely drawn to granny zebrawear for some reason…
what are the purple stumps at the bottom?
looks like she stole grimace’s feet or something.
This reminds me of the shit Fran Drescher’s grandmother wore on “The Nanny”.
Now this one is definitely a statement:
a statement I hope to never make!
that “ankle detail”, now that’s some fine sewin’.
it reminds me of the interview i just watched w/stephen fry when he was talking about how great technology is, that it greatly enhances one’s talent, but is not a substitute.
as in, owning a sewing machine doesn’t mean you can sew. or should.
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From the description…
“all materials are made of salvaged and vintage fabrics, trims, we focus on the plush quality of the fabrics from which we create our garments, our stitches are crude and strong garments are made to be worn in the nature of their organic forms and patterns, which translate into diverse languages of form, as time and experience grow deep in their fibers they adapt to reflect essence.”
I translate this into total bullshit.
Ok her profile says it all! “Recycling clothing has always been a favorite because she is lazy and cannot sew straight to save her life, and despises patterns.”
So sad a polyester zebra gave it’s life for these pants and a gypsy had to give up her skirt to partially cover the remains.
HK- please file this under homeless\marginalized vulnerable population style wear.
“#18 DTKMKihn.blogspot.com :
Now this one is definitely a statement:
and that statement is what the fuck? is that a hood on the back?
I don’t think that I could give this away to a homeless person and not get beat up.
Doesn’t look like she can see either. Why are you making fun of blind people? You are so mean.
I have always wanted to look like an Asian Zebra.
This one she has her diaper on the outside..right there..for all to see.
why is shipping 30 dollars for each of these things? And 35 dollars if you buy more than one??
Why do people call their stuff “organic” when it’s obviously a bunch of trash, as if labeling it this way will make it somehow credible?
This shop is the most pitiful thing I have ever seen. What has me flipping out are the prices she is bestowing onto her beloved “ART” pieces. Outrageous.
If you read her profile, she declares she can’t sew. It’s as if she is giving validation to her crap by admitting she can’t sew, which, in turn, makes her stuff AWESOME!!
I take a small measure of comfort in reading this:
38 items for sale
an actually pretty slip ruined by sticking a bath mat to it. perhaps it had some embarrassing stains?
OH.Lookie at these.For when you build your big nest up in the sky and try to fly.
They should come with a warning- however they do not so I shall add that these are not remotely handy for any friend you know who may do LSD, Magic Mushroom’s, Acid, or Blotter. Humans can’t fly wth these.
Somebody pass the Etsy pipe. I just saw another flying horse.
What the hell??
This is a joke. It has to be. Right?
More Regretsy Math-
40.00 for dope
5.00 for supplies
3.00 for cigarettes= ASIAN ZEBRA TO GO. YOU HAVE?
I don’t know about the rest of you but I frequently search for the tag “our stitches are crude and strong garments are made to be worn in the nature of their organic forms and patterns.”
On the bright side; although this woman seems too be deluded into thinking that LSD and pre-beginner sewing is a great business plan, she has no sales.
So THIS is what Ping from Project Runway has been up to!
How does time and experience grow deep into fibers to reflect essence?
Wait, let me break that down into parts:
How does time and experience grow deep into fibers? Does that mean stains? If so, what kind? I’d like to know just what kind of time and experience those stains are. Saturday night at the dive bar time and experience stains? I ate bad clams time and experience stains?
How does this lead to reflect essence? Should I drink more to try to understand this?
I’m one goddamned eloquent bitch. Maybe I can start supplementing my income by writing descripshuns for people.
that thing’s seen enough plumbers already, needs to go into the junk-shot.
Like wow, man. Finally came down from reading the materials list. That trip blew my mind, man.
They are the only ones who are tagging their items with those keywords. I hope this changes, more people need to tag with “as time and experience grow deep in their fibers they adapt to reflect essence”
Wow, no one even wanted to give this a pity heart.
This thing is so horrid that the no one is willing to wear it for the photo! I feel sorry for the half mannequin, she can’t say NO
Oh yeah FASHION FAIL!
It’s zebra skants with red rag drapery!
Look again, it’s skants.
Am I the first to notice or just nuts?
I have to commend her for using the right “their.”
I recognize this line-it is from the Grab a Dish Towel and Wrap It About Your Waist to Pretend You’re a Pirate line; all the rage with the grade school set in the early 1970′s.
From her profile:
“Recycling clothing has always been a favorite because she is lazy and cannot sew straight to save her life, and despises patterns. So at an early age miller learned how to alter and re-create to get the results she envisioned without all the focus and work involved”
SuperSnark- Clearly a case of mannequin rape.
Good heavens, I think your right! Not just skants, but hacked up skants with an old curtain stuck on them…. this just gets more confusing to look at each and every time I go back to the top of the page.
Curiosity killed the cat, and with any luck will cause my retinas to detach before I look at this anymore.
#33 Recovering Crack Baby :
what is it w/the feather crap? there were hideous feather headdresses on the front page earlier. is this yet another fashion trend i’m missing (ignoring)?
OMG, don’t we all need a Bullshit to English translator? I spit out a good mouthful of Coke and vodka when I saw that. You’re killing me!
And I like it.
The profile blurb is MUCH more horrifying and filled with bullshit than the actual items for sale. Seriously, go read it. This chick is fucking delusional.
I need a “an English to Bullshit” translator, and then I can rule the Marcomm department at work!
Oh, great–not only does it look like my scrap box exploded, but it will fall apart in about 3 days because this person doesn’t seem to know that knits need to be serged. These aren’t salvaged; their demise has only been temporarily postponed.
“our stitches are crude”
@ Dix #57
I’m sure they meant “selvedged” although salvaged is more appropriate. These fabrics were salvaged from the dump in all liklihood.
I blame Gone With The Wind. People are raiding the homes of their elderly relatives and stealing thrift-store quality drapery for dress material.
Helen, Thanks for continuing to dig up the crap you find.
Easymac: Actually, I think it could go either way, since so many people on Etsy salvage things and make them into stuff to sell. Selvaging is part of the weaving process and I don’t think it can be done after the fact, especially not by somebody whose textile skills are what we see on display here.
From the look of the fabrics they chose, they can’t SEE, either.
I was unaware zubaz counted as vintage fabric.
I seriously can’t believe someone would have the brass balls to list something like this.. I read her profile about going to school for art and design and it translates into this crap! I feel bad for the schools she is representing.. this is fugly with a capital fug.. and personally – my 9yo would’ve come up with something more put together.. this chick’s shop looks like Goodwill threw up all over it.. the worst was that nightgown with a dragon stamped.. uh “silk screened on”.. ewww gross.
“selling crudely made imaginative stuff”
I don’t think I would admit that if I wanted people to actually buy from me.
“as time and experience grow deep in their fibers they adapt to reflect essence”
What the fuck does that mean? Is she retarded or just hopped up on eight kinds of dope? And why not put all that ranty hippie bullshit in the >>>DESCRIPTION<<< and not the list of Materials.
And why do I bother with these unanswerable questions?
there’s a reason slarf rhymes with barf
Jolly Good Fun? I don’t think this shit is Jolly, Good or Fun, it’s just Crap with a capital C.
Further investigation also reveals that the whole etsy shop is just more of the same crap on a sliding scale from crap to fucking hideous crap, and they appear to have a real life shop too, what delights that must hold ????
In my house, when I visit the Regretsy page, as often as not my response is something like this:
“HAHAHAHAHA, Oh, Thank you Helen” (loud enough to scare the cats and make my hunny glance up, watery eyed from his video game) …
This must be what the aftermath of an abortion clinic for late term shmatas looks like.
Almost every ‘garment ‘ here was at least 100 % better before she tacked another piece of drek to it. Almost.LMAO!
I was wondering if she can’t sew what are they held together-ish with? hot glue? staples? unidentifiable stains that stick together? And we can rationalize that 30 bucks for shipping for what? Her drug recovery program and cab fare to the post office possibly. I think only the Mole Purse could add that certain “Fun” touch to this ensamble…
this is from the sellers “vagrant and sqautters cllection.”
That pic just freaks me out! Look at the feet, it looks like someone is being hanged!
Why do I bother trying to make “perfect” things when “crap” seems to sell?
I don’t understand how non creative people who sell crap, come up with such “deep artistic descriptions”…Guess I’m a better artist than writer….I don’t know the “Lingo”
The commentary on this just literally cracked me up.. Thanks I really needed that laugh!
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