I think there’s a strange correlation between bad manicures and bad crafts. Perhaps the fact that you are unable to paint your own fingernails is a sign that you might not want to take up crafting for profit.
Back in the 7th grade, we moved from the Army base in Missouri back to the Army base in Alaska. We drove up through Canada. We got there with three weeks left in the school year. The Home Ec teacher tried to get me to finish an entire embroidery project in that time. At 12 years of age with no experience or help, mine was still better than this one.
Sweet baby Jesus, this is truly terrible. I almost feel sympathy towards this person as they obviously don’t see how genuinely shockingly bad this is and how little talent they possess… If your 6 year old brought this home to you you oprobably wouldn’t even make room on the fridge for it… In fact I want someone to have a kind word with her, perhaps suggest that she retrains at something a bit simpler. Like colouring in.
You know what? Screw it, I’m going to start saving my ass wipes and listing them on esty. If this shit can sell why can’t mine? “Here we have a little number I like to name Taco Night. Order now and I’ll throw in Sausage Breakfast at no extra cost!”
You people need to quit picking on recovering drug addicts who have suffered a relapse and signed up to Etsy to earn drug money by creating works of art with the things they stole when they were high but have no actual resale value unless combined with other valueless pieces of crap they find in their pockets after coming down off of their rat-poison laced high.
Also, this piece inspired me to redo my own manicure before I am in the presence of the public. Seriously, I think y’all have given me a complex, pickin on that poor woman’s thumbtoe.
From her shop announcement:
*my inspiration will not be constrained*
I agree! Embroidering unreadable sayings with typos and dyslexic letters and then calling the monstrosity “one of a kind” definitely fits lack of constraint to me.
I thought this shit can’t be real and then I looked at the rest of her.um.shit.shop. and it is all the same level. I have am crazy family self aware, however, I feel as though she may lack that.
why does she mention she used a hoop in the title, or at all? or does leaving the tools connected make it more whimsicle?
and shouldn’t a hoop *help* with preventing all that puckered fabric?
finally, I know it’s hard to give up on a project that you’ve struggled with. Sometimes you keep trying to fix it, only to make it worse. Or you leave it in a corner, half-finished, wondering if you’ll ever come up with a clever way to save it. BUT YOU DON’T SELL IT ON ETSY.
#57- depends on what kind of Mother you have, one would suppose. This Woman would love something like this as a gift and then she would list it on ETSY and sell it.
BY FUCKING GEORGE, whoever that is,I FUCKING GET IT.
Stand back: this is just like carrying a child and bonding with that child for a little over nine months. You might smoke, drink caffeine, have unsafe sex, perhaps some wine. Anyhow…it was your baby and you grew it until you could God Damn present it to the World. Now here it is and the Mama Maker looks at it with her Blind Mama Eyes, after all those months of work,finally seeing the fruits of her labor and now everyone must look.
#61 cont. She shows her best to the fucking World. Fuck them…this is 30.00 and ain’t it cute. While we are all subject to look at it. The uncomfortable ugly baby “what do I say syndrome” kicks in. Oh. well. a baby you say. As you walk away thankful for that not being what you present to the World, she sits and stares at the hoops and needles and thread..yearning for another one…………….
The latent southern belle in me is coming out right now, because…”Well bless her heart”.
It is NOT like me to be nice. At all. But I just feel a bleak and overwhelming pity, because even if she’s not part of the disabled workers faction at McDonalds, methinks she really ought to be.
You fucking high Busybody? I just read it and my high doses of Percocet from my unexpected.oh.why.now..when John is so ill, fucking needed surgery happened. They certainally give you enough. I shit when it said #100 tablets on it. Thank God I got a driver close to get where i got to go. God knows you would never find your fucking way here again and then we’d both be lost. Fuck.I hope you are high or this may not make sense.
#71 StinkBait : I am goin’ down (thumbs-down) with yah on that one. Can’t stand dirty.dirty.dirty.dirty.(did I fucking mention dirty?) nails with chips of polish left.When your polish gets to the point you can pick it off…it is time to do something. OH and while I am gonna get thumbs downed with yah- those who paint ALL THE TIME except for the one week you were lazy and I had to see your horrid.horrid.horrid.(did I mention horrid?) yellow, jaundice nails are the worst.
Busybody. I was trying to compare how she thinks her item here is the best work she has done to a Mother who has an ugly baby. She grew in her skills like a Mama who grows an ugly baby. AH. Fuck…I don’t know somethin’ to that effect. I promise to stop typing now.
I understand why this is a “gift for mom”. Think about it: You’re a tween, you forgot your mom’s birthday or something, and you need a gift- STAT. Something you can pretend you made yourself: “Mom! Look, I taught myself how to embroider! And I made this for you!!!”
I am truly at a loss here. How can she do such pretty flowers/edging and screw up so badly on the words? The only thing I can think is that she bought it without words at a rummage sale and is ‘finishing’ it, the original embroiderer having shuffled off this mortal coil.
May 26, 2010 at 1:33 pm
Wow. Just wow.
May 26, 2010 at 1:33 pm
My mom kept all the stuff I made her as a kid, she didn’t go selling it on Etsy. Wait? This was made by the mom?
<speechless>
May 26, 2010 at 1:34 pm
“One of a kind, can never be duplicated.”
Is that a promise?
May 26, 2010 at 1:34 pm
It looks like somebody tried to make this with their ass. (keeping on theme here)
May 26, 2010 at 1:34 pm
My head hurts now… I can’t look at it anymore :O
May 26, 2010 at 1:35 pm
and it IS purple..Just sayin’
May 26, 2010 at 1:36 pm
Hell, the words are bad enough but it’s not ever FINISHED
May 26, 2010 at 1:37 pm
What a brave lady, carrying on with her embroidery even as she suffered a stroke in the middle of it.
That’s the only possible explanation for this, right?
May 26, 2010 at 1:38 pm
“a mother(?) holds her daugter’s hand.” at least she remembered the apostrophe in the possessive “Daughter’s”, even if she did forget the “h”.
ouch.
May 26, 2010 at 1:39 pm
Perhaps the poor embroidery is specifically designed to obfuscate the poor spelling?
(on the plus side the flowers are pretty…someone should tell her to stick to flowers)
May 26, 2010 at 1:39 pm
Experiment failed.
May 26, 2010 at 1:40 pm
Until now I only thought my embroidery was “OK”. Now I see I should be selling it for silly money
May 26, 2010 at 1:40 pm
oh my god there’s tutorials linked on her shop announcement. tutorials!!!!!!
May 26, 2010 at 1:40 pm
What the fuck. What. The. Fuck. Is she like, six or something? Does she only have one arm? What is this I don’t even
May 26, 2010 at 1:41 pm
Her manicure has a nicer finish than this piece.
May 26, 2010 at 1:42 pm
“Call it whatever you like” … don’t tempt us!
I also like the attention to detail which can also be seen in her pink pearl fuschia manicure!
May 26, 2010 at 1:45 pm
Mothra has Danzig’s head?
May 26, 2010 at 1:45 pm
Thank you. The Klingon picture answered all my questions.
May 26, 2010 at 1:46 pm
WOWZA!
That’s really really bad
May 26, 2010 at 1:46 pm
I think there’s a strange correlation between bad manicures and bad crafts. Perhaps the fact that you are unable to paint your own fingernails is a sign that you might not want to take up crafting for profit.
May 26, 2010 at 1:46 pm
If I put it in the dryer, will it become legible?
May 26, 2010 at 1:47 pm
“A mother *hhcccccccch* hir daughter’s hand”…
Back in the 7th grade, we moved from the Army base in Missouri back to the Army base in Alaska. We drove up through Canada. We got there with three weeks left in the school year. The Home Ec teacher tried to get me to finish an entire embroidery project in that time. At 12 years of age with no experience or help, mine was still better than this one.
May 26, 2010 at 1:47 pm
Sweet baby Jesus, this is truly terrible. I almost feel sympathy towards this person as they obviously don’t see how genuinely shockingly bad this is and how little talent they possess… If your 6 year old brought this home to you you oprobably wouldn’t even make room on the fridge for it… In fact I want someone to have a kind word with her, perhaps suggest that she retrains at something a bit simpler. Like colouring in.
May 26, 2010 at 1:49 pm
Friends don’t let friends drink and embroider.
May 26, 2010 at 1:51 pm
this is a one of a kind, never duplicated piece that i stiched by FOOT.
May 26, 2010 at 1:52 pm
You know what? Screw it, I’m going to start saving my ass wipes and listing them on esty. If this shit can sell why can’t mine? “Here we have a little number I like to name Taco Night. Order now and I’ll throw in Sausage Breakfast at no extra cost!”
May 26, 2010 at 1:53 pm
“Call it whatever you like”
Okay, but before I do–read that back to me.
That Klingmom is awesome!
May 26, 2010 at 1:55 pm
The mother should let go of the daughter’s hand… so she can embroider!
May 26, 2010 at 1:56 pm
From her profile..
“I am a college student who works part time at McDonalds, so this is a great way to feel productive.”
Is this what working at McDonald’s drives you to??!!
May 26, 2010 at 1:57 pm
That’s what happens when you don’t take your seizure medicine I guess.
But really.. I am really glad my mom loves me enough not to sell the stuff I make for her on Etsy.
May 26, 2010 at 1:58 pm
You people need to quit picking on recovering drug addicts who have suffered a relapse and signed up to Etsy to earn drug money by creating works of art with the things they stole when they were high but have no actual resale value unless combined with other valueless pieces of crap they find in their pockets after coming down off of their rat-poison laced high.
May 26, 2010 at 1:59 pm
Yet another Etsy seller inadvertently allows a peek of her toe in her item’s photograph.
May 26, 2010 at 2:00 pm
OH Hey! I think I speak seizure..
“A mother holds her daughter’s hand”
(and then sells it.)
May 26, 2010 at 2:00 pm
Maybe the message says it all. She was holding her “daugter’s” hand while she embroidered it. This entire piece was done with just one hand! Amazing!
May 26, 2010 at 2:00 pm
The Klingon mama stitching away by the fire would make a great tote bag (just sayin’)
May 26, 2010 at 2:01 pm
“…I stitched from my inspiration.”
That being the guy from a few posts back squirting paint onto canvas.
May 26, 2010 at 2:02 pm
Also, this piece inspired me to redo my own manicure before I am in the presence of the public. Seriously, I think y’all have given me a complex, pickin on that poor woman’s thumbtoe.
May 26, 2010 at 2:03 pm
Maybe Buffalo Bill embroidered this:
A mother holds her daughter’s hand,
Or else she gets the hose again.
I’m just sayin’.
May 26, 2010 at 2:04 pm
#37 BillsBayou : I’m going to be singing the Greenskeepers song all night now.
May 26, 2010 at 2:05 pm
Lasik eye surgery. FAIL!
May 26, 2010 at 2:09 pm
She could have at least waited for the earthquake to stop before stitching this.
May 26, 2010 at 2:14 pm
Awesome PS, HK/Bronc.
Skully says: Treat one another with respect, there is a real Klingon behind each crappy piece of embroidery.
May 26, 2010 at 2:19 pm
OMG someone bought it…
May 26, 2010 at 2:19 pm
She did this with her index finger crazy-glued to her pinky.
May 26, 2010 at 2:19 pm
OK, 2 questions, first, why not stop after embroidering the flowers which are presentable and second, is that last summer’s manicure?
May 26, 2010 at 2:23 pm
“Hi. Thank you for entering my shop to take a look at my nasty fingernail.”
May 26, 2010 at 2:23 pm
#43 Eva, it was prolly her daugter…
May 26, 2010 at 2:24 pm
It sold… I’m in shock.
May 26, 2010 at 2:24 pm
So…is this her daughter in the photograph? On the right?
May 26, 2010 at 2:25 pm
And duh: http://www.etsy.com/listing/44884804/silk-ribbon-embroidered-letter-s
May 26, 2010 at 2:35 pm
From her shop announcement:
*my inspiration will not be constrained*
I agree! Embroidering unreadable sayings with typos and dyslexic letters and then calling the monstrosity “one of a kind” definitely fits lack of constraint to me.
May 26, 2010 at 2:42 pm
I especially love the white dried crusty substance on the blanket of another one of her listings http://www.etsy.com/listing/42737587/coiled-chain-and-shimmering-beads?ref=v1_other_2
May 26, 2010 at 3:09 pm
I thought this shit can’t be real and then I looked at the rest of her.um.shit.shop. and it is all the same level. I have am crazy family self aware, however, I feel as though she may lack that.
May 26, 2010 at 3:16 pm
Is that Lursa or B’Etor?
May 26, 2010 at 3:18 pm
A mother holds her daughter’s hand… but preferably not while she’s embroidering.
May 26, 2010 at 3:35 pm
why does she mention she used a hoop in the title, or at all? or does leaving the tools connected make it more whimsicle?
and shouldn’t a hoop *help* with preventing all that puckered fabric?
finally, I know it’s hard to give up on a project that you’ve struggled with. Sometimes you keep trying to fix it, only to make it worse. Or you leave it in a corner, half-finished, wondering if you’ll ever come up with a clever way to save it. BUT YOU DON’T SELL IT ON ETSY.
May 26, 2010 at 3:36 pm
this is also tagged as “gift for mom.” Like you’d buy someone else’s shitty crafts for your mom.
May 26, 2010 at 3:45 pm
#57- depends on what kind of Mother you have, one would suppose. This Woman would love something like this as a gift and then she would list it on ETSY and sell it.
May 26, 2010 at 3:46 pm
maybe a family member bought it. they really shouldn’t encourage her.
May 26, 2010 at 3:47 pm
If anyone has her addy I would love to gift her a finger nail kit and some lovely shades of OPI.
May 26, 2010 at 3:55 pm
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May 26, 2010 at 3:59 pm
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May 26, 2010 at 4:52 pm
Mothers love their daugter’s so much.
May 26, 2010 at 4:54 pm
Wow, you have a painting of Brak’s mom!
May 26, 2010 at 4:58 pm
i’m gonna sell some of my unfinished cross stitch projects on here – i’ll get rich!
May 26, 2010 at 5:01 pm
I must have the Klingon Daughtry fan as a shirt!
May 26, 2010 at 5:10 pm
The latent southern belle in me is coming out right now, because…”Well bless her heart”.
It is NOT like me to be nice. At all. But I just feel a bleak and overwhelming pity, because even if she’s not part of the disabled workers faction at McDonalds, methinks she really ought to be.
May 26, 2010 at 5:20 pm
I think it was meant to read, “A mother cuts off her daughter’s hand and uses it to embroider things.”
May 26, 2010 at 5:44 pm
So damn fugly I missed the typo first time around.
May 26, 2010 at 5:45 pm
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May 26, 2010 at 6:52 pm
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May 26, 2010 at 7:19 pm
#61 Recovering Crack Baby :
WTF are you talking about? You high? WTF. I don’t get it.
May 26, 2010 at 9:33 pm
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May 26, 2010 at 9:38 pm
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May 26, 2010 at 9:42 pm
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May 26, 2010 at 9:44 pm
This is what happens when you embroider while watching the Lost finale.
May 26, 2010 at 10:09 pm
RCB No I’m fucking lost again. You’re lucky that I can’t ever figure out how to get to your house or I’d come over there and kick your ass.
May 27, 2010 at 7:09 am
I understand why this is a “gift for mom”. Think about it: You’re a tween, you forgot your mom’s birthday or something, and you need a gift- STAT. Something you can pretend you made yourself: “Mom! Look, I taught myself how to embroider! And I made this for you!!!”
May 27, 2010 at 9:17 am
I hope she’s a quadriplegic and is running the needle with her mouth. If that’s the case, then this is awesome.
Quadriplegia can’t excuse that grammar, though. Whew.
May 27, 2010 at 10:20 am
Surely you can measure, plan, or even map things out with pencil first. If this is free-hand embroidery, I understand why they make kits.
Maybe it’s for muscle rehabilitation.
May 27, 2010 at 11:36 am
Oh, NOW I get it – this is braille…right?
May 27, 2010 at 3:54 pm
Hey now, we should give her some credit. I suspect it’s not easy to embroider when you’re legally blind.
…the seller is blind, right?
May 27, 2010 at 8:59 pm
Crack Baby you need have severe vitamin H & A deficiency. Better get back to rehab.
May 28, 2010 at 2:16 am
I am truly at a loss here. How can she do such pretty flowers/edging and screw up so badly on the words? The only thing I can think is that she bought it without words at a rummage sale and is ‘finishing’ it, the original embroiderer having shuffled off this mortal coil.
My brain is boiling with the dichotomy.
May 28, 2010 at 11:04 am
Just because it’s Regretsy doesn’t mean you should ACTUALLY make it with your feet.
August 7, 2010 at 4:07 pm
some one needs to find their glasses before they embroider