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Crack House

That’s a lot more than the crack. That’s the whole alimentary canal.

Also, WOOD AT THE ENTRANCE HOLE

66 comments on Crack House

  1. Stretch65
    May 21, 2010 at 1:32 pm

    Perfect for a wood pecker

    Thumb up Thumb down +146

  2. BillsBayou
    May 21, 2010 at 1:32 pm

    Goatse for birds. All that’s missing are the hands.

    Thumb up Thumb down +32

  3. BillsBayou
    May 21, 2010 at 1:34 pm

    My wife’s grandmother does birdhouses which feature the face of a cat. The mouth is the bird’s entry. I told her she needs to do one for the other end of the cat. It could be a double bird house. This is nearly what I envisioned and nothing like what I envisioned at the same time.

    Thumb up Thumb down +43

  4. KitCameo
    May 21, 2010 at 1:34 pm

    I wonder if he takes custom order requests? I think there needs to be a mailbox made in this style.

    Thumb up Thumb down +46

  5. Khyri
    May 21, 2010 at 1:34 pm

    I’m having goatse flashbacks.

    Thumb up Thumb down +8

  6. use me multipurpose
    May 21, 2010 at 1:34 pm

    i’m pretty sure even birds have more discriminating taste than this!

    Thumb up Thumb down +13

  7. captaincavegirl
    May 21, 2010 at 1:35 pm

    Looks more like a gerbil house to me…

    Thumb up Thumb down +145

  8. denisewalks
    May 21, 2010 at 1:35 pm

    This is perfect for those beautiful spring days when you sit in your garden and watch the little birds fly out of a man’s ass.

    Thumb up Thumb down +143

  9. mymotherisafish
    May 21, 2010 at 1:36 pm

    great for those birds who prefer to fly by the moon light

    Thumb up Thumb down +19

  10. BillsBayou
    May 21, 2010 at 1:36 pm

    Hidden due to low comment rating. Click here to see.

    Thumb up Thumb down -10

  11. RuthX
    May 21, 2010 at 1:36 pm

    Why not go the full goatse? *has flashbacks to the Goatse Mac logo featured on here a while back*

    Thumb up Thumb down +4

  12. BillsBayou
    May 21, 2010 at 1:37 pm

    #4 Kit, Here’s your mailbox:

    Thumb up Thumb down +71

  13. BillsBayou
    May 21, 2010 at 1:38 pm

    This works too, Kit:

    Thumb up Thumb down +40

  14. grimmlock
    May 21, 2010 at 1:40 pm

    Hidden due to low comment rating. Click here to see.

    Thumb up Thumb down -8

  15. SuperSnark
    May 21, 2010 at 1:40 pm

    All I can think of is the satellite dish coming out of Cartman’s ass-now that’s a birdhouse I’d like to see!

    Thumb up Thumb down +10

  16. willandwont
    May 21, 2010 at 1:41 pm

    “plugged with red oak wood”. Now that’s gotta be painful!

    Thumb up Thumb down +37

  17. willandwont
    May 21, 2010 at 1:42 pm

    Also maybe he needs more fiber.

    Thumb up Thumb down +10

  18. MyEyesMyEyes
    May 21, 2010 at 1:43 pm

    Is it wrong that I think this is hilarious? It sort of reminds me of those bent over people things that folks would put on their front yards back in the day.

    Thumb up Thumb down +28

  19. Skully
    May 21, 2010 at 1:43 pm

    Perfect for a parrot that says “Polyp wanna cracker.”

    Thumb up Thumb down +48

  20. joshpincusiscrying
    May 21, 2010 at 1:43 pm

    “Okay, Mr. Birdhouse, now I’m going to ask you to turn your head and cough.”

    Thumb up Thumb down +32

  21. HermesGoddess
    May 21, 2010 at 1:44 pm

    I guess titling it “Plumber’s Anus” probably wouldn’t have had quite as nice a marketing ring…

    Thumb up Thumb down +19

  22. BillsBayou
    May 21, 2010 at 1:44 pm

    The side view of the birdhouse shows the bird perch. It looks like the butt is squeezing out a little blue log.

    Thumb up Thumb down +13

  23. gdpainter
    May 21, 2010 at 1:44 pm

    Are butt hole crafts going to be the new vagina for 2010?

    Thumb up Thumb down +68

  24. SuperSnark
    May 21, 2010 at 1:45 pm

    Hey! I just the wood at the entrance hole! it’s a little blue pecker!

    Thumb up Thumb down +1

  25. LeeLooDallas
    May 21, 2010 at 1:45 pm

    Birds: don’t do crack!

    Thumb up Thumb down +17

  26. IscreamUscream
    May 21, 2010 at 1:46 pm

    babies born in that hole will never lead normal lives.

    Thumb up Thumb down +25

  27. Calophi
    May 21, 2010 at 1:46 pm

    #8 denisewalks : Are you kidding me? If only I had this birdhouse, I’d do that EVERY DAY. And never fail to be amused!

    Thumb up Thumb down +4

  28. SuperSnark
    May 21, 2010 at 1:46 pm

    #22 gdpainter you are onto something vaginias are sooo last season bring on the ass!

    Thumb up Thumb down +17

  29. joshpincusiscrying
    May 21, 2010 at 1:48 pm

    I’ll paraphrase They Might Be Giants: “Make a little birdhouse with your hole.”

    You inspired me. See the edited post. – HK

    Thumb up Thumb down +60

  30. Skully
    May 21, 2010 at 1:48 pm

    A bird in the ass is worth two in the bush.

    Thumb up Thumb down +90

  31. mtopia
    May 21, 2010 at 1:49 pm

    This is something that really needed to be immortalised in steel. The world surely is richer for this.

    Thumb up Thumb down +9

  32. Somewhereovertherainbow
    May 21, 2010 at 1:51 pm

    ROFL Skully. Well played.

    Thumb up Thumb down +2

  33. Whawhawhatsis
    May 21, 2010 at 1:53 pm

    This guy definitely has taste. Bad taste, that is. Check out his wine bottle holder:

    http://www.etsy.com/listing/47527528/happy-guy-wine-holder-rack

    Thumb up Thumb down +8

  34. Wilma Fingerdoo
    May 21, 2010 at 1:58 pm

    The new digs for the Catholic Cardinals who were defrocked.

    Thumb up Thumb down +7

  35. RuthX
    May 21, 2010 at 1:58 pm

    Will the entrance stretch to fit larger birds?

    Thumb up Thumb down +21

  36. hamoza
    May 21, 2010 at 2:01 pm

    A bird in the hand might not want to go near that thing.

    Thumb up Thumb down +12

  37. Patty has been abducted by an Alien
    May 21, 2010 at 2:10 pm

    Does the seller include a bottle of lube for the birds?

    Thumb up Thumb down +11

  38. IscreamUscream
    May 21, 2010 at 2:13 pm

    @Wilma :lol: That would be a very scary photoshop.

    Thumb up Thumb down +1

  39. unfocused
    May 21, 2010 at 2:17 pm

    Actually it’s a brilliant design! The holes serves as an entrance and also provides ventilation.

    Thumb up Thumb down +2

  40. martini
    May 21, 2010 at 2:21 pm

    I’m not sure about birds, but I could see where dung beetles might like it…

    Thumb up Thumb down +8

  41. melaniereece
    May 21, 2010 at 2:22 pm

    Originally designed specifically for the Nuthatch, but it kept banging repeatedly into the side…

    Thumb up Thumb down +6

  42. someToast
    May 21, 2010 at 2:26 pm

    #28 joshpincusiscrying wins this entire day.

    Thumb up Thumb down +4

  43. Skully
    May 21, 2010 at 2:26 pm

    Awesome PS, my favorite They Might Be Giants song:
    These are my feelings, please respect ‘em
    Say I’m the only wren in your rectum
    Build a little birdhouse in your hole

    Thumb up Thumb down +26

  44. Skully
    May 21, 2010 at 2:29 pm

    Well done, Josh, hope you get COTD!

    Thumb up Thumb down +5

  45. Recovering Crack Baby
    May 21, 2010 at 2:33 pm

    Cornhole anyone? He is marketing this for the birds when really he needs to make it slant a bit and call it a cornhole board.

    Thumb up Thumb down +13

  46. hamoza
    May 21, 2010 at 2:34 pm

    Think of it as a half-assed halfway house for wayward hummingbirds, who are looking for their guy in the helmet.

    Thumb up Thumb down +10

  47. Stretch65
    May 21, 2010 at 2:40 pm

    “A bird in the hand can be very messy”

    “A bird in your hole is kinky”

    Thumb up Thumb down +1

  48. hamoza
    May 21, 2010 at 2:42 pm

    Isn’t there some olde timey bit of wisdom, something like : “a canary in a hole of mine….”

    Thumb up Thumb down +8

  49. turnaround
    May 21, 2010 at 2:48 pm

    This is just asking to be fucked by drunken frat dude/redneck.

    Thumb up Thumb down +10

  50. PaintedKitty
    May 21, 2010 at 3:36 pm

    I would really like to buy the Helen-improved version and send it to some of my cruder friends for Christmas.

    Thumb up Thumb down +2

  51. plutorealm
    May 21, 2010 at 3:45 pm

    Hidden due to low comment rating. Click here to see.

    Thumb up Thumb down -5

  52. martini
    May 21, 2010 at 3:50 pm

    I say you slap a piece of Habitrail on there and use it for gerbils…

    Thumb up Thumb down +2

  53. martini
    May 21, 2010 at 3:53 pm

    Oops… Correction…

    I say you slap a piece of Habitrail on there and pack it full of gerbils…

    Thumb up Thumb down +5

  54. hamoza
    May 21, 2010 at 5:11 pm

    Some birds brains are all in their ass.

    Thumb up Thumb down +3

  55. SHERITADELEE
    May 21, 2010 at 5:22 pm

    Just don’t light a match to see what’s inside!

    Thumb up Thumb down +2

  56. coolpauper
    May 21, 2010 at 5:32 pm

    #41 melaniereece : “Originally designed specifically for the Nuthatch, but it kept banging repeatedly into the side… ”

    …but the cockatoo made it right in…

    Thumb up Thumb down +3

  57. PaganChick
    May 21, 2010 at 5:53 pm

    Helen, I’m tempted to buy your improved version! My proctologist has a birthday coming up ;)

    Thumb up Thumb down +2

  58. Mousey Housewife
    May 21, 2010 at 6:22 pm

    I can’t believe none of you have noticed the shop’s name: KNOB CREEK!! Or maybe it’s just us Brits that use knob as another word for cock….

    Thumb up Thumb down +11

  59. geektastic
    May 21, 2010 at 8:42 pm

    “#33 Whawhawhatsis :
    This guy definitely has taste. Bad taste, that is. Check out his wine bottle holder”

    Now, the wine bottle holder I like. Of course, I have a Catbutt ™ air freshener in my car.

    If I hadn’t had part of my elbow scooped out with a melon baller this afternoon, I’d photoshop a little something. But Norco + one handed typing is bad enough.

    Thumb up Thumb down +1

  60. HelenaHandbasket
    May 21, 2010 at 9:00 pm

    It appears someone bedazzled the dungarees. Fancy!

    Thumb up Thumb down +3

  61. geektastic
    May 22, 2010 at 6:30 am

    They look like little reflectors-do birds like that?

    Thumb up Thumb down 0

  62. Dix
    May 22, 2010 at 9:09 am

    I . . . don’t even know where to start. Oh, my.

    Thumb up Thumb down 0

  63. spareGus
    May 22, 2010 at 10:42 am

    this is so obscene, i want it! if only i had a yard…

    Thumb up Thumb down +2

  64. PussDaddy
    May 22, 2010 at 7:10 pm

    Wait a minute, I thought it was “a bird in the hand is worth two in the bush” not the bum. Oh well, what’s an inch anyway?

    Thumb up Thumb down -2

  65. aroseisarose
    May 23, 2010 at 3:20 pm

    Josh and Helen: Awesomsauce! Of course, I will never be able to listen to that song with a straight face again…

    @#58 (Mousey): My first thought was perfectly innocent. Knob Creek is a brand of bourbon.

    100 proof.

    Hey, it might explain a lot.

    Thumb up Thumb down +2

  66. mapleleaves
    May 28, 2010 at 9:33 pm

    Thank you to Helen and Josh (#29) – I love TMBG and am sitting here crying after reading that line…

    Thumb up Thumb down +1

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