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WTF Alchemy Request

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57 comments on WTF Alchemy Request

  1. Travelgrrl
    May 19, 2010 at 1:32 pm

    Just beat it with your $5.00 request. Unless it’s for %5.00 each. Then, Thriller, I guess.

    Thumb up Thumb down +24

  2. DucksNew
    May 19, 2010 at 1:33 pm

    I wonder if they also want calorie free fudge with walnuts.

    Thumb up Thumb down +63

  3. hamoza
    May 19, 2010 at 1:33 pm

    Some people should be forbidden from breeding.

    Thumb up Thumb down +29

  4. Bronc Drywall
    May 19, 2010 at 1:35 pm

    6-year old girls weren’t really Michael’s thing, if you catch my drift.

    Thumb up Thumb down +165

  5. hamoza
    May 19, 2010 at 1:35 pm

    Those things better come with a big dose of antibiotics.

    Thumb up Thumb down +4

  6. Dynomoose
    May 19, 2010 at 1:36 pm

    Now maybe their older brothers…

    Thumb up Thumb down +6

  7. kittyofassisi
    May 19, 2010 at 1:36 pm

    I’m sure she means $5 each. ya think?

    Thumb up Thumb down +17

  8. DTKMKihn.blogspot.com
    May 19, 2010 at 1:36 pm

    I imagine with her pricing Oriental Trading Co would be a better place to look.

    I for one am thoroughly creeped out at the thought of children sporting MJ gloves.

    Thumb up Thumb down +25

  9. Srsly
    May 19, 2010 at 1:37 pm

    I don’t know what’s worse – that they raised a 6 year-old who wants a Michael Jackson-themed birthday party, or that they are giving all the 6 year-old guests a single sequined glove and expect them to understand and appreciate the historical significance of that item.

    Or the whole damned thing, is the third option.

    Thumb up Thumb down +121

  10. pplrdum
    May 19, 2010 at 1:38 pm

    Nothing like a child’s birthday party with a pedophile theme!

    maybe they can get the pinata lady to make one of MJ…I’d be happy to BEAT IT!

    Thumb up Thumb down +47

  11. LeeLooDallas
    May 19, 2010 at 1:39 pm

    Anyone know where I can get 10 pairs of gloves for under $5?

    Thumb up Thumb down +11

  12. Love in the Dumps
    May 19, 2010 at 1:41 pm

    Hidden due to low comment rating. Click here to see.

    Thumb up Thumb down -19

  13. LeeLooDallas
    May 19, 2010 at 1:41 pm

    Wait, someone on Etsy wants gloves WITH fingers?!? This has to be made up!

    Thumb up Thumb down +139

  14. hamoza
    May 19, 2010 at 1:42 pm

    I hope they’re not serving croquembush.

    Thumb up Thumb down +12

  15. Bronc Drywall
    May 19, 2010 at 1:43 pm

    This party sounds great. The only way to improve it would if they also brought in those 7-year old girls to dance to “Singles Ladies” in their streetwalker outfits. And then, the circle of delinquent parenting would be complete.

    Thumb up Thumb down +97

  16. hamoza
    May 19, 2010 at 1:43 pm

    #12 LeeLoo- Bwahahahaha…

    Thumb up Thumb down +1

  17. BillsBayou
    May 19, 2010 at 1:45 pm

    They’ll need the glove to hold the cups of Jesus Juice.

    Thumb up Thumb down +11

  18. hamoza
    May 19, 2010 at 1:46 pm

    Odds are , if they’re inviting a few people from the neighborhood, there’ll be at least 1 pedophile at that party.

    Thumb up Thumb down +20

  19. IscreamUscream
    May 19, 2010 at 1:47 pm

    Imagine the “Mittens” painting, and a sequined glove.
    I won’t photoshop that one :lol:

    Thumb up Thumb down +28

  20. pplrdum
    May 19, 2010 at 1:48 pm

    Hamoza, that is incredibly depressing…because it’s probably true. :(

    Thumb up Thumb down +9

  21. Buzzkill To Teenagers
    May 19, 2010 at 1:52 pm

    Can I just dip some latex exam gloves in glitter? Because that’s what 5 bucks will get you.

    Thumb up Thumb down +43

  22. soup du jour
    May 19, 2010 at 1:54 pm

    No #16 BillsBayou, I think in order for this to be an authentic “Michael Jackson themed pary” they should just skip the Jesus Juice and serve massive amounts of propofol…

    Thumb up Thumb down +2

  23. Patty has been abducted by an Alien
    May 19, 2010 at 1:57 pm

    When my kids were six years old, they were into Barbies and Transformers and shit like that. We had Spongebob-themed parties for them at that age.

    What six year old wants a Michael Jackson-themed party?

    And I’m old enough to remember when Jackson was semi-normal and even *I* don’t want a Michael Jackson-themed party.

    Thumb up Thumb down +57

  24. joshpincusiscrying
    May 19, 2010 at 1:57 pm

    I sure hope there’s propofol in the goodie bags.

    Thumb up Thumb down +12

  25. thewhiterabbitaz
    May 19, 2010 at 1:59 pm

    Pageant mom maybe? I can’t see a normal mother letting her kid have a “Michael Jackson” party?

    And what will the party games be?

    Thumb up Thumb down +11

  26. pplrdum
    May 19, 2010 at 2:00 pm

    patty, I accidently red-thumbed you! I’m sorry!

    Thumb up Thumb down 0

  27. Wilma Fingerdoo
    May 19, 2010 at 2:00 pm

    Yes, Johnpincusiscrying.
    Perhaps some propofol punch? Maybe guests could do some crafts at the party, like decorate your own face mask?

    Thumb up Thumb down +2

  28. hamoza
    May 19, 2010 at 2:01 pm

    Someone might want to tell that mother that regarding Michael Jackson, there are some things you can’t untell.

    Thumb up Thumb down +17

  29. HobbyTroll
    May 19, 2010 at 2:07 pm

    If they’re serving Jesus juice… count me IN!

    Thumb up Thumb down +6

  30. MamaJ
    May 19, 2010 at 2:15 pm

    First of all, *you* are having a Michael Jackson themed party *for* your 6 year old; even is she is the one who chose the theme (and please start saving for her therapy bills now, if this is the case), the fact that you are permitting this inappropriate theme aside, as the person obtaining and paying for the party favors, final approval should rest with you, nay? Parenting. You’re doing it wrong.

    Thumb up Thumb down +36

  31. hamoza
    May 19, 2010 at 2:16 pm

    What, no newspapers , radio, t.v. or internet in Denver, or is this parent just a moron?

    Thumb up Thumb down +8

  32. mtopia
    May 19, 2010 at 2:17 pm

    I had sequined gloves for a dance costume once, but it wasn’t MJ-related. This is strange, but at least it is coherently written.

    Thumb up Thumb down +2

  33. Patty has been abducted by an Alien
    May 19, 2010 at 2:25 pm

    Hidden due to low comment rating. Click here to see.

    Thumb up Thumb down -3

  34. pplrdum
    May 19, 2010 at 2:32 pm

    yes, I saw that! But, I do agree with your post here, and it didn’t deserve the red thumb!!

    I suppose I was a little trigger happy on my way to the green thumb *sigh*

    Thumb up Thumb down +2

  35. hamoza
    May 19, 2010 at 2:34 pm

    ‘Human Nature’-
    ‘reaching out to touch a stranger’….

    Thumb up Thumb down +3

  36. Yzziefrog
    May 19, 2010 at 2:35 pm

    #18 IscreamUscream:

    Well, I don’t have your scruples.

    Thumb up Thumb down +48

  37. Skully
    May 19, 2010 at 3:22 pm

    How about a pinata? (SHIPPING IS FREE FOR THE STICK)

    Thumb up Thumb down +26

  38. use me multipurpose
    May 19, 2010 at 3:22 pm

    i have a 5 year old…and while she doesn’t know who MJ is, i can see maybe some 6 year old wanting a Michael Jackson party. i can also sort of understand the glove party favor thing.

    what i CAN’T understand is the fact that she’s going to order one to have her kid make sure it’s what she wants. WTF?!?! she’s 6. if she doesn’t like it, tough cookies. she’s not paying for the fucking party.

    Thumb up Thumb down +44

  39. kirstenrana
    May 19, 2010 at 3:37 pm

    @hamoza – I bet they heard that NPR story a month ago about the California parents who hosted an MJ party for their 1st-grader (who requested it).

    At the time I predicted that this would be the next moronic trend. Sometimes I hate it when I’m right.

    Thumb up Thumb down +14

  40. dscokween
    May 19, 2010 at 3:37 pm
  41. kirstenrana
    May 19, 2010 at 3:39 pm

    Oh, and it involved a pinata – click link for article and picture.
    http://www.npr.org/templates/story/story.php?storyId=126143736

    Thumb up Thumb down 0

  42. hamoza
    May 19, 2010 at 3:46 pm

    I’m sure the party will go off with a bang , it’s an innocuous glove , & pageant parents are innocently parading thier girls around looking like hookers & I should do myself a favor & *lighten* up.

    Thumb up Thumb down +7

  43. hamoza
    May 19, 2010 at 3:47 pm

    OMFG their

    Thumb up Thumb down 0

  44. raven
    May 19, 2010 at 4:06 pm

    OKay I feel like holding some sort of interventions for crafters that bid themselves out this low. Anyone willing to sew 20 things for 5 bucks needs to be kicked in the head!

    Thumb up Thumb down +5

  45. StaticCling
    May 19, 2010 at 4:38 pm

    Just because MJ’s dead does not make him suitable for children.

    Thumb up Thumb down +11

  46. razberries
    May 19, 2010 at 5:15 pm

    This has gotta be regretsy bait…I am not trying to whine and piss and moan over the parade, but c’mon. What 6-year-old remembers Michael during his Thriller days? Do you mean to tell me that there will also be a guy dressed up as Bubbles and one dressed up as Webster at this party, too ? ;-)

    Thumb up Thumb down +2

  47. janncri
    May 19, 2010 at 5:19 pm

    Hilarious pediphile jokes aside, the child is innocently wanting a MJ party, people, this is not a big deal.

    Thumb up Thumb down +5

  48. janncri
    May 19, 2010 at 5:20 pm

    Shit, *pedophile* I guess I is stoopid.

    Thumb up Thumb down +1

  49. Snargasm
    May 19, 2010 at 5:38 pm

    Shopping list for MJ themed b-day party:

    *Sequined gloves
    *”Exam” gloves
    *Swag bag with gifts from local therapists and plastic surgeons
    *Candy
    *”To Catch a Predator” TV crew
    *Special incentives for boy guests
    *FBI stakeout
    *Ice cream
    *Balcony
    *Baby

    Thumb up Thumb down +21

  50. HelenaHandbasket
    May 19, 2010 at 7:28 pm

    I’m sorry that I can’t help with the glove, but I would be pleased to bring a casserole to pass, cozied in my new patriotic warmer!

    Thumb up Thumb down +3

  51. geektastic
    May 19, 2010 at 7:59 pm

    #25 thewhiterabbitaz :
    “And what will the party games be?”

    Pin the nose on the Jacko?

    Thumb up Thumb down +18

  52. Recovering Crack Baby
    May 19, 2010 at 9:13 pm

    Hidden due to low comment rating. Click here to see.

    Thumb up Thumb down -5

  53. Rebekah
    May 20, 2010 at 6:17 am

    1985 called, it wants its party theme back.

    Ya know in the days before we knew he was going turn out a creepy child molester.

    Thumb up Thumb down +5

  54. enamy
    May 20, 2010 at 8:40 am

    #47 janncri :

    i couldn’t agree with you more. my 7-year-old loves mj because her older cousin listens to him a lot. what am i gonna tell my little girl? that she can’t listen because he was accused of touching little boys? no, i’m going to let her keep her innocence, enjoy some good dance music, and move on.

    now, that miley cyrus is another story.

    Thumb up Thumb down +9

  55. spareGus
    May 20, 2010 at 9:07 am

    wrong on so many levels, yet what gets me the most really is the fact that the mom is going to get the kid’s approval of the glove. seriously, get a job, then you can go around ‘approving’ crap.

    Thumb up Thumb down 0

  56. ladycrim
    May 20, 2010 at 9:26 am

    I was a huge MJ fan when I was 6 … of course, that was in 1983 …

    Thumb up Thumb down +3

  57. JustJon
    May 22, 2010 at 10:24 pm

    The idea of the gloves doesn’t really disturb me.

    What does kind of disturb me is the possibility that this fete might involve hiring a michael jackson impersonator.

    Thumb up Thumb down +3

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