Broom Hilda
You’ll be the hit of the night in this slinky little number! Well, If you can get into your car, I mean. Just don’t wear it around a goat.
Seriously, this is like everything in your grandma’s house at once. All you need is a dish of hard candy and a Readers Digest, and you could go as a nursing home.
May 14, 2010 at 4:34 pm
Someone grab the hose! There are flames shooting out of her!!!
May 14, 2010 at 4:35 pm
No.
May 14, 2010 at 4:36 pm
She really needs to wax.
May 14, 2010 at 4:36 pm
I don’t know what this makes me consider more: the hideous puckering stitches holding the feathers onto the cheap satin, the impossibility of getting into a car in this monstrosity or the general ugliness of this overpriced POS.
May 14, 2010 at 4:36 pm
you mean that dreadful stuff coming out of her is real? i thought it was bad photoshopping at first…
May 14, 2010 at 4:37 pm
She looks like a chorus member in The Lion King.
May 14, 2010 at 4:37 pm
Oh yeah the horrible description. Slinky? Really? What is slinky about this crap?
May 14, 2010 at 4:37 pm
I see fireworks.
May 14, 2010 at 4:38 pm
It’s perfomance art; a visualization of a yeast infection. She’s using the broom grass to represent flames coming out of her crotch.
May 14, 2010 at 4:38 pm
Honestly, at first I thought she was standing behind a plant. And let’s not even dignify “flirty polyester”.
May 14, 2010 at 4:39 pm
First few times I looked at it, I thought she was standing in front of a potted plant. O.o How dreadful.
May 14, 2010 at 4:40 pm
Great camouflage if you want to spy on the Fraggles
May 14, 2010 at 4:40 pm
just.fucking.insane
May 14, 2010 at 4:41 pm
that’s definitely some fire in the hole
May 14, 2010 at 4:41 pm
Safari? Everything’s pointing to the Bush, from my viewpoint.
May 14, 2010 at 4:43 pm
She’s asymmetrical. She needs another feather on her head going in the other direction.
Or…
Let’s take a reasonably decent dress and totally fuck it up! And for added fuckery, let’s take Mom’s old white gloves and wear them too!
Awwww yeah!
May 14, 2010 at 4:43 pm
@#15, you’re right–it’s a big arrow.
May 14, 2010 at 4:44 pm
Ooooh Broom grass! Does it come with fleas & ticks?
May 14, 2010 at 4:44 pm
Fire Crotch!
May 14, 2010 at 4:44 pm
How the hell does one sit while wearing this fuckery?
May 14, 2010 at 4:45 pm
I don’t sew (aside from a few buttons), so I have a question…
Is “princess seamed” just code for “I totally suck at sewing seams?
May 14, 2010 at 4:46 pm
Is the shoot from the back of her head included, or is that extra?
May 14, 2010 at 4:46 pm
“stardust” is listed as one of her favorite materials. But that doesn’t explain why most of the shop looks like the badly sewn handmade clothes that show up in Goodwill?
May 14, 2010 at 4:47 pm
“Supple” is listed as a material. Patty – stock up on supple and you’ll be fine with your sewing.
May 14, 2010 at 4:48 pm
Who knew polyester could be so flirty?
This is the dress I would buy for my daughter to preserve her virginity on prom night.
May 14, 2010 at 4:48 pm
Obviously they aren’t serious about selling this dress – no size is listed. I mean, how would you know if it would fit you?
May 14, 2010 at 4:52 pm
Slide on hardwood floors with it, multipurpose!
May 14, 2010 at 4:52 pm
Leeloo, the last time I went to the craft store, they were out of “supple”. I wonder if I buy two boxes of “svelte” maybe I could substitute… hmmmmm…
May 14, 2010 at 4:56 pm
Do you think I could sweep my hardwood floors with that broom grass? I’ve tried using a vacuum…
May 14, 2010 at 4:56 pm
hamoza:
one of a kind,
attention-grabbing fascinator,
so you will look like,
someone jammed a,
stalk of broom grass,
through your head,
$75.
May 14, 2010 at 5:05 pm
I’m concerned on how happy she looks to be wearing that!
Is she under duress, or does she have some of that grass under that dress!!
May 14, 2010 at 5:05 pm
Red Carpet…”what were they thinking?”
or
Cats would be thinking…”cat toy”
May 14, 2010 at 5:06 pm
It’s irrelevant to photoshop when you already have a picture in your mind.
May 14, 2010 at 5:07 pm
#30 That is a fascinating concept , for a flaming retarded yokel.
The only way to complete this ensemble is a duh, dead mole bag. Perfect for a night of dancing ,cuddling and burning.
May 14, 2010 at 5:12 pm
Egads, what I meant was , you’d have to be a flaming retahd to wear this get up….
May 14, 2010 at 5:17 pm
It looks like a bad dance costume to me, and I would know. I took years of dance. Even her make up screams “RECITAL!”
May 14, 2010 at 5:21 pm
She should borrow HK’s weed whacker.
May 14, 2010 at 5:27 pm
http://www.wisegeek.com/what-are-princess-seams.htm
Princess seams are nice and sleek – fitting seams, so you don’t need darts.
I guess this is what happens when you’re still holding a broom when your fairy godmother gets around to you. Kinda like that movie, “The Fly.”
May 14, 2010 at 5:30 pm
Are the gloves included???
May 14, 2010 at 5:36 pm
Are safaris on the prairie some new burning woman-rave thingy I’ve not heard about?
May 14, 2010 at 5:43 pm
You know whats lazy as shit about this? It’s obviously a costume for a school performance/dance recital the photo is even taken backstage. She probably was made to make this dress to specifications for whatever theme was called for, and now she wants to foist it on the etsy public. Everything else in her shop is vintage, so she just likes selling used shit.
May 14, 2010 at 5:43 pm
that could have used a few commas, sorry
May 14, 2010 at 6:02 pm
That last arty sepia photoshop really sells it, too.
May 14, 2010 at 6:05 pm
Thank the gods this is a one of a kind. None of a kind would be even better. That “sewing” looks like staples.
Not sure if I’d buy the dress, but definitely would have paid something to laugh at the recital. Must have been truly whimsicle.
May 14, 2010 at 6:06 pm
AT least we know where the red fern grows now.
May 14, 2010 at 6:15 pm
That’s the most whimsicle merkin I’ve ever seen.
May 14, 2010 at 6:20 pm
I think she has it on backwards, actually!
May 14, 2010 at 6:23 pm
No, what she really did was spill a coke down the front of herself and then fell into this and it stuck from the stickiness:
http://www.windward.org/notes/notes67/broomcorn.jpg
May 14, 2010 at 6:25 pm
#45 PussDaddy – Where the red fern grows?
That makes me very emotional.
Maybe I am still bothered by the mole.
May 14, 2010 at 6:35 pm
Jazz hands and jazzier abdomen.
May 14, 2010 at 6:42 pm
Who needs condoms?
May 14, 2010 at 7:13 pm
Amber waves of grain?
May 14, 2010 at 8:08 pm
Wait, I remember seeing a special about this on the National Geographic channel: Bridesmaids of the Serengeti.
May 14, 2010 at 8:18 pm
I have one of these! I use it to sneak up on zebras in Africa. I usually go with a pith helmet instead of gloves.
May 14, 2010 at 8:41 pm
‘Cats would be thinking…”cat toy”’
Yeah–I’d never make it out of the house in that. Feathers are shredded and eaten around here. Though it’s so fugly the cats might be scared off.
Oh, and Heeeellllllen! Lookie what I got:
http://cgi.ebay.com/ws/eBayISAPI.dll?ViewItem&item=280490180682&ssPageName=STRK:MEWNX:IT
May 14, 2010 at 8:54 pm
All this one needs is disco burqa!
May 14, 2010 at 9:40 pm
Is this a “catch her in the rye” kinda thing?
May 15, 2010 at 10:04 am
EVERY nursing home around here has wallpaper border- oh how i hate wallpaper border. She could complete the nursing home outfit with a cowl made of wallpaper border around her neck. Maybe a wallpaper border crown for her head?
May 15, 2010 at 10:07 am
#55 geektastic, if not for the price, the cat toy possibility is the one and only reason I could see for buying that thing!
May 15, 2010 at 10:59 am
This was my first thought…
http://i757.photobucket.com/albums/xx220/coolpauper/safaridressarrowhead.jpg
May 15, 2010 at 11:19 am
When will people learn not to have outdoor weddings during tornado season.
May 15, 2010 at 12:43 pm
I think they make a cream for that nowadays.
Seriously, though — how are you supposed to sit down in that thing without getting a nosefull of doctor’s-office-chic dried stuff?
May 15, 2010 at 12:49 pm
She’s camoflaged as DIY home decor.
May 15, 2010 at 1:37 pm
I only wonder how you’re supposed to wash it? Do you have to take out all the feathers one by one and then put them back when you’re done?
May 15, 2010 at 2:00 pm
#64@Esmerelda-a dab of gel to smoothe the flyaways , and an occasional spritz of insect repellant & it’s good to go.
May 15, 2010 at 4:42 pm
Well if she lived in California she would be asked to trim her bush!
May 15, 2010 at 4:43 pm
She looks like a fire hazard.
May 15, 2010 at 4:44 pm
It’s vavoom with a broom!
May 15, 2010 at 5:33 pm
1.Hope her date doesn’t smoke.
2.Reminds me of old Steve Martin skit with arrow through head.
May 16, 2010 at 10:09 am
i cant get over “flirty polyester”
aahahaha
May 16, 2010 at 6:34 pm
must be her daughter’s dance dress!
it’s all so wrong.
her own photos for other items take the cake, though, IMO
http://www.etsy.com/listing/42677515/designer-handmade-spring-spin-day-dress
May 16, 2010 at 10:35 pm
And then, tragically, Laura Ingalls Wilder was eaten by the seemingly innocent and docile goat, in what will forever be known as ‘Little Horror on the Prairie’
May 17, 2010 at 7:17 am
#25, Wilma- That would back-fire; you’ve never heard this cheesy line?:
“That dress looks awful on you. It would look better on the floor. Take it off.”
That’s the only reason I can imagine a girl wanting to wear this- on the off chance someone will use that line.
May 17, 2010 at 10:43 am
She looks like a Vegas showgirl after a hurricane.
May 17, 2010 at 11:23 am
So that’s how California brush fires got started–someone tried to burn her dress.
May 17, 2010 at 6:12 pm
Ma’am, your crotch is on fire.
May 19, 2010 at 11:49 pm
I like that circle-y dress! This one is crap! I find it fascinating that she is from Kalamazoo, MI! Wheeeee…. Shittin’ in the Mitten!
July 26, 2010 at 11:49 am
But thank heavens she had the sense to not tag it “steampunk.”
November 10, 2010 at 5:20 pm
Slinky? More like shapeless potato sack…