ya know – i have an old lead apron from my days in radiology – perhaps i can upcycle it to this crackpot.
Tin foil. It’s the wacko industry standard.
So… a tinfoil hat with cape?
But but how will the mothership contact them?
i’m not sure which to more disturbed by, the fact that someone wants this, or the fact that someone made a bid.
but wait… If it absorbs the radiation and loses signal, how is this dimwit going to make calls (or play We Rule)?
Wait, do they want to absorb the radiation or reflect it?
I think someone sees an easy way to make some money. I bet the cloak will come with extra special government probe sensors and shield the wearer from aliens.
Hell , they can wear whatever thay want.
Finally someone offering a realistic price for the artists time & material.
I have a pal who ordered the baseball cap, because, you know, it’s only a little more expensive than one with an MLB logo. He says it worked well — for a while.
Tin foil actually amplifies signals, so all those wackos with tinfoil hats? Yeah, they’re fucked. Science: learn you some.
Wonder what wonder guy is going to do with this?
(I was cruising around and found this, I put it up on another thrashing, but maybe you all did not see it…It is Killer when she was little, the second of the two videos is sooo April!)
I have worked for several cell phone companies. My favorite nut job paid FIFTY DOLLARS for a sticker that blocked the XRAY radiation from the phone AND kept a nail tucked at each ear, the way you’d stash a smoke, for added protection.
Ah, maybe you could make some sort of metal using, like I dunno, alchemy.
Wrap your head in bubblewrap, you turd. Make an opening and breathe through a straw. Radiation can bounce off you and cling on to unsuspecting passersby.
#13 FootofCanal: You know, iron nails hammered into your doorframe/threshold will keep vampires out of your house.
**the disabled guy’s grandfather was one of “those” people. He probably had a homemade cell phone cloak.
Fogret tinfoil. Just wrap yourself in saran wrap. Then we don’t have to deal with you anymore, either.
that insulating batting they make for potholders should do the trick. Thing of it is for a cloak, you’d need more than 200 dollar’s worth. And it would be ugly as fuck.
I actually have some certified cellphone radiation-blocking material. However, it does not work in Gilsum, New Hampshire. Will that be a problem?
BWAHAHAHAHA fogret. I’m a tool.
Have the considered the Cone of Silence?
You had me at cloak with hood.
wouldn’t it be easier for them to provide the fabric and ask someone to sew it for them?
and why would they want it to be a “cloak”? some kind of weird LARPing thing or what?
Okay – did any of yall listen to the most recent ‘this american life’ or read the GQ article about the dangers of cellphones?
There are some scary studies out there about brain tumors and cell phone use. Of course, the wireless lobby has effectively shut out any scientific inquiry into the issue.
Also, foil garments are good for shoplifting things with the radio tags. Um, so I’ve heard. lol.
Perhaps cell phones ARE dangerous and DO cause cancer….. And If they do I doubt that a silly handmade cape is going to save this guy.
I thought velostat was actually preferred to tinfoil amongst alien signal blocking nutjobs.
Clearly this guy just needs to read the tutorial on how to line a helmet with velostat:
Okay – I’m embarrassed t admit I’ve already read, and loved, the Stop Alien Abductions site. The girl in green, with the velostat hat is adorable!
I smell an Etsy business opportunity!@@!
Where can I get a cloak to shield myself from Kirby salesman?
How about a protective cloak/hood for cryabeetus?
You know, I’m seriously thinking about printing up a little Prevent Cryabeetus sign to post on the wall in my office just to remind myself not to take myself too seriously. I need to find a good Wilford Brimley photo to attach it to.
I could have sworn I ignored this very garment whilst perusing Thinkgeek.com. They have some geektastic awesomesauce.
Isn’t that the ‘Live Free or Die’ state?
It’s pretty tho, right?
I’ve found if you live in a dip on top of a high hill you’re spared cell phone service. No cloak required.
I say make a hat with tin foil and turn his head into a Jiffy Popcorn maker. Shake mine a little- I don’t like it to burn.
The deadline expired. I hope this person doesn’t get abducted by aliens in the case that the one bid turns out to be “fraudulent.”
Patty/Alien: I did not know that about Iron nails and Vampires. Maybe thats what they were for.
Peeps, peeps, peeps! Cell phones are only 3/10ths of a watt. NOTHING to worry about and NOTHING protects you from the miniscule amount of radiowaves. Did you carry a Boom Box on your shoulder in the 80′s??? Cuz that would have done more damage.
So now you know. And knowing is half the battle.
does the whole cloak have to be made of the material, or just the hood?, and if so, what exactly are you doing with your cell phone on the rest of your body? And I suppose you will be answering calls holding the phone outside the hood and up to your ear, so how exactly will you be able to hear the calls?
This is either somebody with serious OCD or a Mother of a teenager.
I got a nifty collar that does the same thing.
It sucks the radiation out of the air all around my head. It works on alpha rays as well.
It cost me $100 bucks from a doctor at the zebra room on Hawthorne BLD. I saw his business card. He’s a DVM and the collar was manufacted by Hartz.
There is a meterial that can block signals.
It’s called lead.
I got access to a x-ray lead vest, but it will cost you more than 200 bucks.
Awww, man, too late. If he’s willing to pay $200 for that baloney I wonder what one of these cloaks could’ve brought it at the auction?
A wee bit of Saturday Night fuckery for pantsmonkey:
#42 LOL! Yes, that’s EXACTLY what I’m talking about!
I’m not sure what I find more disturbing, the request itself, the fact that someone bid on it, or that the person making the request lives about half an hour from me. (and there’s almost no cell signal in that area anyway lol)
this level of paranoia coupled with arrogance always sets me off.
1) if you think your cell phone is giving you brain cancer, don’t use one.
2) if you think you’ve cornered the market on conspiracy theories, so much so that you need a special outfit…you aren’t worried about brain tumors as much as you are looking for attention.
i bet the phone companies actually do have the fabric you’re looking for…they just won’t let you have it.
i need coffee.
A friend & I walked over a mile down a crowded blvd. yesterday & every single person, including those walking with other people , were yakking on a cel phone, loudly.
Can someone protect me from that?
I actually own a cloak like that. The elves custom made it for me, they are excellent weavers and tailors. Very snug fit. I stopped by their forest on the way to Mordor to fling my cell phone into Mount Doom.
If the elves refuse I’m sure Dumbledore has something lying around…
this person seriously must not have a microwave, a tv, a computer, or really any modern electronic devices or live near any cities…though, it says they’re in NH so I guess that’s a real possibility. Of course, that would also make placing this request quite a trick!
The current standard of treatment for cryabeetes is multiple daily injections of Awesome sauce or the use of an Awesome sauce pump
Sure! Just let me make you one out of this tinfoil hat.
OT: B or HK, I looked and looked, but never saw HK’s tour itinerary in here. Random House didn’t even have any events listed at all. Could you point me in that direction, if it was posted somewhere? Please? (I know it’s kind of late to be asking…)
In my search for crochet hats for my daughter I came along this bad ass piece of bullshit. I found his fucking headwear maker. I am convinced that she can and will come up with some good horseshit for him.
I think MythBusters blocked a cell phone by sitting in a cage made of copper mesh.
Sounds kind of scratchy and uncomfortable to me, but whatever.
If they’re that afraid of cell phone radiation….maybe try using this!
This should go very well with her tin foil hat!
It also just occurred to me that the entire state of NH sits on granite, which gives off radon, so…this person is pretty much screwed. (I mean, in all the logical ways on top of all the illogical ones)
Can someone make a cloak for my lactating badger? She’s getting breast milk all over my cel phone.
True bizarre story, the couple my husband and I bought our first house from the guy had “issues” and taped tin foil in strips all over the inside of the windows of the house to keep out the voices and keep in this thoughts-plus our bedroom door had a double keyed deadbolt-inside door not outside! I think I just found out where they moved to!
@ 54 Dix yeah, the cage was called a Faraday cage. http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Faraday_cage
While Mythbusters used copper, you can make a Faraday cage for your wallet according to Wired using aluminum foil.
#25 detroit :
There are some scary studies out there about brain tumors and cell phone use.
If this person is scared of his/her brain being fried by cell phone signals… then maybe they should STOP USING A CELL PHONE. Much cheaper (and less of a fashion faux pas) than wearing a shiny hooded cloak of dubious signal-blocking value everywhere. Sheesh.
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