NO ONE CARES
Sweet Jesus, this kind of shit really annoys me. There’s no reason to be so God damned pleased with yourself. Even badgers lactate. Congratulations on being a fucking mammal.
OTHER DESIGNS IN THE WHO GIVES A SHIT COLLECTION:
Sweet Jesus, this kind of shit really annoys me. There’s no reason to be so God damned pleased with yourself. Even badgers lactate. Congratulations on being a fucking mammal.
OTHER DESIGNS IN THE WHO GIVES A SHIT COLLECTION:
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April 30, 2010 at 1:34 pm
I personally think “Even Badgers Lactate” should be made into a t-shirt.
April 30, 2010 at 1:35 pm
[thinks of other smooth...hard....surfaces I could wrap that arou-I mean...put that on]
April 30, 2010 at 1:36 pm
Cue the cryabeetus in 3…2…1…
April 30, 2010 at 1:36 pm
Why no…no, I don’t.
April 30, 2010 at 1:36 pm
Are you offering?
April 30, 2010 at 1:37 pm
Got F-art?
April 30, 2010 at 1:38 pm
UGH. Congrats, you’re doing something that seventy percent of human mothers (as of 2009) – and 100% of other mammalian mothers – do. Aren’t you just the bee’s* knees!
*bees do not lactate.
April 30, 2010 at 1:38 pm
Awe You mean the “I took a crap today” sticker is not for reals
I would of totally bought that one!
April 30, 2010 at 1:39 pm
A helpful bit of information for those people driving around with a cup of coffee that need a little cream. What a public service!
April 30, 2010 at 1:39 pm
Oh, it’s the Facebook status for your car.
April 30, 2010 at 1:40 pm
see, if I saw that on a car, I’d think that the driver is LOOKING for breast milk, and if I were lactating, I’d signal for them to roll their window down so I could squirt some in as I drove by.
April 30, 2010 at 1:41 pm
A more important PSA for the rear window of a car is “currently menstruating” so you can give them the right of way.
April 30, 2010 at 1:42 pm
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April 30, 2010 at 1:42 pm
@ #8, if you ping the people that make the goatse laptop decal, I bet they’d help you out…
April 30, 2010 at 1:43 pm
http://www.flickr.com/photos/51423921@N00/4566589116/
April 30, 2010 at 1:44 pm
“I’m warmer than room temperature”
(actually that would be the nicest thing anyone has said to me all day)
April 30, 2010 at 1:46 pm
Ewww. This is just an invitation for creepy comments. I’m not ashamed of breastfeeding, but some things you do not need to plaster on your car!
BTW, wheres the “I’m Menstruating!” sticker? At least that would be useful information to have on your car so people know why you are driving so aggressively.
April 30, 2010 at 1:46 pm
no, sadly I don’t. I guess that means my boobs are for entertainment purposes only.
April 30, 2010 at 1:47 pm
No, I do not “got breast milk” because I started going through “the change” when I was 34 years old. And I’d like to thank YOU for reminding me that I left the “mother” status early and plummeted into the “crone” stage before I hit 40.
Yeah, thanks, breast milk woman. I appreciate the reminder that I am a dried-out husk of a human not good for anything on this earth other than to shake my bony fist at those damn kids on my lawn!
Go to hell!
And get offa my lawn!
(what?…
April 30, 2010 at 1:48 pm
I want an “Even badgers lactate” shirt. For serious.
April 30, 2010 at 1:48 pm
How about ‘got landfill’? Maybe not.
April 30, 2010 at 1:48 pm
@#12 Buzzkill–Dammit. You beat me! Guess that’s what I get for going to spell check “aggressively”
Hate me not, thumb-downers!
April 30, 2010 at 1:49 pm
#11 Buzz.. I did that to a guy that was staring at my huge engourged lactating breasts way back in 1973. Got him right in the glasses. You shoulda seen the look on his face.
April 30, 2010 at 1:55 pm
I hate stuff like this too. It should say “have breast milk?” Holy grammar Batman!
April 30, 2010 at 1:57 pm
Things are blowing up all cryabeetus style over at the Facebook link, in case anyone feels like being lectured.
April 30, 2010 at 1:58 pm
The line “even badgers lactate” seriously made my day! Thanks for the hysterical fit of giggles when I really could use one.
April 30, 2010 at 2:04 pm
Yeah,the cryabeetus virus is spreading. Maybe they weren’t properly breastfed & are just pissed off.
Should all stick a pacifier in it.
April 30, 2010 at 2:05 pm
I dunno, Bronc. I feel like we might not get a flounce out of this one, although we’ll get plenty of cryabeetus.
April 30, 2010 at 2:08 pm
This decal is the BREAST EVER!!!
April 30, 2010 at 2:09 pm
@24, Wow. I see someone cannot tell the difference between personal choice and way too much information. Breastfeed if that’s your thing, but it is my right to abstain.
April 30, 2010 at 2:13 pm
The Colbert report last night had a story about how an enzyme in breast milk cures acne…\
an interesting job for a stay-at-home Mom?!!!
April 30, 2010 at 2:15 pm
I just love how people use a humor site for their reactivist monologues.
April 30, 2010 at 2:16 pm
@ #24 Hahahaha that chick on FB is really stirring shit up. Wow.
April 30, 2010 at 2:20 pm
WEll, this shop does have a formula for milking people with family in the military, $80.00 for a banner with a few dollars worth of vinyl & lettering.
April 30, 2010 at 2:20 pm
It would be more offensive if, in keeping with the spirit of the original ad campaign, they had also affixed a photograph of themself above the slogan, replete with said milk moustache.
April 30, 2010 at 2:21 pm
This sticker just reminds me of the self-righteous breastfeeding nazis that make you feel like a big pile of steaming crap for even giving your child 1 drop of formula before the age of 18 months.
Funny thing is, the answer is yes, I do have some, although not much since my boys self weaned at 4 months old, and I’ve heard way too much crap about how I should have kept trying!
April 30, 2010 at 2:23 pm
I just wish everyone would stay out of everyone elses beeswax.
What is it with me and bees today?
April 30, 2010 at 2:25 pm
Come on guys …. here’s something for Zazzle … a neat set of three bumper stickers because I can’t choose which one I like best. I want them all …
April 30, 2010 at 2:29 pm
Even badgers lactate. Wasn’t that an REM song?
April 30, 2010 at 2:31 pm
Also, @ #19 Patty – I heart you. BTW, pretty sure Breast Milk Woman was a Santana song.
April 30, 2010 at 2:34 pm
So there’s a whole thing about a movement to educate young, “inner city” mothers about the choice to breastfeed because of the heavy advertising from the formula companies and the way the hospitals send them home with formula and propaganda. I totally get the message about how we’ve been sold a bill of goods by industry & the pharmaceutical companies & stuff….. but I still think your comments are hilarious!! No reason to flounce off in a huff… !
April 30, 2010 at 2:38 pm
#38, wasn’t that ‘shiny happy lactating breasts ?
I was once a licensed wildlife rehabber, with 2 badgers in my care.Only about 20 % of the females lactate in any given year !
April 30, 2010 at 2:38 pm
I saw one today that said “Got Kate Winslet?”. I’m anyone can explain this to me I would appreciate it.
April 30, 2010 at 2:43 pm
Let me know when the “even badgers lactate” bumper stickers are ready. Or “menopausal bitch onboard” …
April 30, 2010 at 2:43 pm
Jeez, I’m = If
April 30, 2010 at 2:50 pm
#41 No the REM song was “Losing my Lactation”
April 30, 2010 at 2:55 pm
THANK you for keeping it non-lectury and more funny over here. I left (not flounced, just stopped reading). I hate it when people try to make me feel like a bad mother for a choice I made.
April 30, 2010 at 2:56 pm
I feel like I need to drape one of those nursing blankets over the hood of that car.
April 30, 2010 at 3:02 pm
#39 methuselah-
You kids and your music!
*mutters to self about having lived through the 80s, how Van Halen changed lead singers, all shirts had shoulder pads, all hair was held with Aqua Net*
You kids don’t know!
*shakes fist*
April 30, 2010 at 3:02 pm
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April 30, 2010 at 3:13 pm
#39: Actually, Breast Milk Woman was written by Peter Green and appeared on the Fleetwood Mac album English Rose, then Santana covered it.
I think there might be yet another meaning that can be construed from this decal. Remember the PETA campaign to use breast milk instead of milk from other animals? Now you can have all the PETA nuts think you support that batshit insane campaign.
April 30, 2010 at 3:15 pm
I knew as soon as this was posted that somebody would lose their shit on Facebook. Ah, Facebook.
April 30, 2010 at 3:23 pm
I would buy the “got skin” one………
April 30, 2010 at 3:25 pm
I hate the “baby on board” decals too. I was going to crash into you and kill you but now that I see a baby is on board I decided not to…….
April 30, 2010 at 3:35 pm
http://www.flickr.com/photos/13893150@N02/4566169943/
Re: Smug Badgers on FB.
April 30, 2010 at 3:37 pm
Now, see, the Baby on Board one I get: if the person is driving like a geriatric old geezer out on a Sunday, you at least know why… I drive more cautiously (read: slower) when my kids are in the car.
April 30, 2010 at 3:37 pm
I think I’m missing the cryabeetus gene. I nursed each kid for 2 years and think this is funny as hell.
April 30, 2010 at 3:39 pm
My post amuses me. It looks like Nipsey’s saying it. Come to think of it, that goes perfect with Nipsey nipple tassels.
April 30, 2010 at 3:40 pm
#8 SacredFlesh :
Awe You mean the “I took a crap today” sticker is not for reals
I would of totally bought that one!
Me too!! Or one that simply said “I poop” – even better.
April 30, 2010 at 3:43 pm
@Suda, do you think there’s a market for “got breast milk” tassles?
April 30, 2010 at 3:47 pm
ISUS, I wouldn’t be surprised at all.
April 30, 2010 at 3:49 pm
I want a mug that says “smug as a mug” just so that I can think of how self-righteous I am while I drink my tea with breast milk and brown sugar. Yum!
April 30, 2010 at 4:27 pm
#53 I met sudabaki© (and Snark) in Glendale:
How many kids have you had sudabaki©? You look amazing !!
April 30, 2010 at 4:51 pm
I got no milk, but I doo have this….
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jWnps0Zv4TM
April 30, 2010 at 4:55 pm
Oh jesus on a unicycle, people are getting their panties in a wad about THIS? So glad I don’t go to facebook; I can only imagine the asshattery.
April 30, 2010 at 5:03 pm
See and just today I figured out sudabaki(c) is a female… the things I learn on Regretsy.
April 30, 2010 at 5:41 pm
Now I have to put an Alchemy request in for a painting of a Badger nursing a baby in the back of an SUV, and the SUV is fat and can’t reach his sandals.
I love all of you guys.
I will have to check out facebook for all the drama.
April 30, 2010 at 5:53 pm
OK I read about 25-40% of the facebook crap and I realized one thing – I actually DO care if you are breastfeeding your baby and driving at the same time!
http://www.whiotv.com/news/18813161/detail.html
If you are driving, leave the breastfeeding to the badger!
April 30, 2010 at 6:06 pm
I checked it out Buzzkill. This gal should have been cited for felony multipurpose. She was driving , breastfeeding, talking on her phone, & ‘minding’ her other kids.
Badgers could make better decisions.
April 30, 2010 at 6:09 pm
This is not funny at all, just bizarro. I saw the strangest sticker in traffic last week. It’s still boggling my mind.
It said, “Someone I love was murdered.”
I just can’t understand why someone would have that on their car. And where do you get one? So weird.
April 30, 2010 at 6:16 pm
That was quite the vigorous thread. Cripes, breastfeeding zealots.
April 30, 2010 at 6:17 pm
Hamoza, “felony multipurpose” BWAHAHAHAHA
Monstrosa, maybe it’s a get out of a ticket sticker?
April 30, 2010 at 7:23 pm
#7 Mazumi
*Bees do not lactate.
Sure they do…boo bees!
April 30, 2010 at 7:25 pm
Y’all are all missing the point!
The Octomom needs all the help she can get!
April 30, 2010 at 9:08 pm
I love you forever and ever. Thank you SO MUCH. You have no idea. Boob Nazis. Gah.
(Yeah, that was basically incoherent, and I’ve braced for thumbs-downing. It’s just beyond words how much this is a peeve of mine.)
April 30, 2010 at 10:22 pm
Well yes, I DO have breast milk.
A) I don’t want any of yours, and I hope you’re not offering, cause… ew
B) Being in this position also puts me in a special position to say ” and shut the fuck up about it” with extra force and meaningfulness.
May 1, 2010 at 12:43 am
Anytime I see a self-righteous “look how special I am for being able to do this” bumper sticker, I wish I had one that said “Got Brain Cells?”. Because if I’m going to be pretentious, I’m going to be a real asshole.
May 1, 2010 at 4:52 am
I am going to put “Got Regretsy” on my car….or in remembering the other post “Got Regretsky”
May 1, 2010 at 5:58 am
#62 mtopia: Smug as a mug with juggs?
May 1, 2010 at 5:58 am
Where’d my link go?
http://1.bp.blogspot.com/_Z_lqQA8I5N4/Svs7gMEXYRI/AAAAAAAAAfs/hgGyIE5mUHE/s320/oob045_breast_mug.jpg
May 1, 2010 at 6:28 am
Long time reader, first time poster:
Phew, thanks for keeping it humorous and low-key over here. Facebook can just rile me up sometimes with all the egos flying around.
Feel free to thumbs down, it too early for me to be funny.
May 1, 2010 at 8:48 am
May Day May day , welcome # 81 @ americancheesy.
No thumbs down for that -we’re all boobs here , at least once in a while…..
May 1, 2010 at 9:02 am
…and Bronc , thanks for a mammarable post !
May 1, 2010 at 9:21 am
The Boob Nazis are growing in numbers, so maybe we could profit off them by doing a whole line of stupid bumper stickers like, “My breast milk beat up your honor student” or maybe a picture of a boob squirting milk on the car logo of her choice. Better yet, why not make a pair of engorged latex tits for them to hang on the back of their suvs?
May 1, 2010 at 9:30 am
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May 1, 2010 at 11:26 am
I need the “I took a crap today” one for my fiancee. He loves sharing his BMs so much, he made a Twitter about it.
Brandex, I like the idea of the decals w/tits lactating on car logos. I’d buy one of those and I’m not even lactating! LOL
May 1, 2010 at 11:44 am
LOLZ. #81 americancheesy was breastfed. ask me how I know.
May 1, 2010 at 12:13 pm
My oldest son couldn’t nurse, so I pumped for months. Once on a road trip, I hopped in the back at 1 am to pump. Yes, we got pulled over for speeding. So yes, I got breast milk, and I can prove it officer! (I covered up, but once you start, you can’t stop!) Too bad the Nipsy tassels weren’t available!
May 1, 2010 at 12:17 pm
#87 waningestrogen How do you know?
May 1, 2010 at 12:51 pm
#89 Snark-o
She’s my daughter!
May 1, 2010 at 3:44 pm
I can can only go off what I’ve been told. Can’t say that I remember.
May 1, 2010 at 4:48 pm
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May 1, 2010 at 6:43 pm
They can’t be boob nazis (not sees), they see boobs more than anyone.
May 1, 2010 at 8:32 pm
And remember, even cows reproduce and they are the dumbest animals on earth.
May 1, 2010 at 9:22 pm
It always amazes me how adult people get freaked out at the thought of drinking a womans boob milk but are all over a cows mammary secretions. Makes we want to make a giant ‘got soy milk ?’ banner for my car. Actually not.
I think tits are great & anyone who doesn’t want to look at a nursing mother in action , or tits otherwise, SHOULD throw a towel over their head.
Read about it on a car? eh/tmi/imo
May 1, 2010 at 10:46 pm
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May 1, 2010 at 11:14 pm
#96 YoMama – You have a “breast feeding” bumper sticker?
Is it stuck to your chest?
May 1, 2010 at 11:39 pm
My car has one bumper sticker. It is this one: http://www.topatoco.com/merchant.mvc?Screen=PROD&Store_Code=TO&Product_Code=WON-METASTICKER&Category_Code=WON
YoMama’s self-righteous vitriol is exactly the kind of bullshit that turns people OFF from important issues like breast-feeding. People who take themselves so damn seriously all the time are apparently the only ones capable of doing so.
May 2, 2010 at 12:17 am
# 96 shiit, if there was a political party worth supporting ,I’d plaster my tits with a bumper sticker.
May 2, 2010 at 12:32 am
#98 Strubisatoaster –
Amen!
Bumper stickers don’t teach, they preach.
May 2, 2010 at 1:02 am
@Stretch65, will you be my new best friend? Or should I say breast friend? I have two kids. Do you think I should get a bumper sticker that says “my breast fed kid is smarter than yours.”
In all seriousness, I have no desire to make anyone feel bad about not nursing their children. I’m a fairly open person and I’ll offer my support and any knowledge I may have about the topic, but that’s the best I can do.
Oh shit, I got serious on Regresty
May 2, 2010 at 2:32 am
@YoMama-
Nobody ever changed anyone’s mind with a bumper sticker. Truly. In recorded history, it’s never happened. You put a sticker on your car so people (the ones who agree with you) will think you’re cool. Try to dress it up, try to say you’re “increasing awareness,” the truth is you’re just showing off. Or, at least, it would be showing off if anyone was impressed by it.
May 2, 2010 at 2:40 pm
When I had my first baby, I was one of those moms that did NOT produce any breast milk. None. I apparently did not have a necessary horomone that would have triggered milk production, etc. Same thing with my second boy. BOTH of my sons are at the top of their class and are VERY talented even though I deprived them of breast milk. Badgers lactate. I didn’t. But my boys miraculously survived! So, get off your high horse about tit milk!!!!!! Stupid bumper sticker. I hate this shit too!
May 2, 2010 at 5:11 pm
Actually had the lactation consultant tell me to starve my kid until he latched. La Leche League can suck a…oh, wait.
May 2, 2010 at 5:54 pm
@98 I have this one on my refrigerator (I don’t have a car):
http://www.topatoco.com/merchant.mvc?Screen=PROD&Store_Code=TO&Product_Code=GOAT-RFV-STICKERS&Category_Code=ALLACCESSORIES
It’s not a political thing. I just love Harry Potter.
May 2, 2010 at 6:37 pm
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May 2, 2010 at 6:40 pm
#106 ~ say what?
May 3, 2010 at 7:53 am
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May 3, 2010 at 7:54 am
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May 3, 2010 at 7:56 am
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May 3, 2010 at 9:05 am
#104 beqi: Same thing happened to me! I was told when my son was “hungry enough” He’d start nursing. I had a lactation consultant tell me my kid was going to have a lower IQ because I didn’t CARE enough, I wasn’t trying hard enough, to breast feed him. WTF ever. I’m more concerned about how I raise him, the things I do every day with him, that will make him a good, productive member of society. Tit nazis piss me off.
May 3, 2010 at 9:05 am
#102- I beg to differ. I have a bumper sticker that says “hang up and drive.” When a swerving cell-phone yacker gets behind me and drives crazy I repeatedly tap on my brakes so the blinking catches their attention and they get a good look at it. Some smile and look guilty as they hang up realiz.
Others fly into road-rage… either way, it’s educational, for them, and for me (well, maybe just entertaining).
May 3, 2010 at 9:07 am
Wow, some of these angry people obviously weren’t breast fed… lol, j/k.
May 3, 2010 at 9:25 am
#108 Rebekah – Do you find bumper stickers to be a meaningful form of art?
Has one ever changed your mind?
May 3, 2010 at 10:59 am
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May 3, 2010 at 11:06 am
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May 3, 2010 at 11:10 am
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May 3, 2010 at 11:11 am
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May 3, 2010 at 11:30 am
No one said you didn’t have the right. Put whatever you want on your car.
But don’t get carried away. A decal doesn’t help you lactate if you can’t, nor does it give you counseling or support. It’s just a decal.
May 3, 2010 at 11:36 am
Your right to slap a bumper sticker on your car coincides my right to deride it. If you want to avoid the latter, avoid the former. Otherwise, tough shit, the world goes ’round.
May 3, 2010 at 11:37 am
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May 3, 2010 at 11:38 am
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May 3, 2010 at 11:40 am
#111. I was told a bunch of mess by the LLL people, too. Similar “less intelligent, more sickly” stories. My kid learned his alphabet on sight before he turned two, could write his name before 3, and has been sick less than 5 times since birth.
Good thing I couldn’t breastfeed, then, or he’d have taken over the world by now.
May 3, 2010 at 11:42 am
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May 3, 2010 at 11:44 am
I’m pro-breastfeeding, but I’m also pro-staying the fuck out of people’s personal bidness.
May 3, 2010 at 11:47 am
Rebekuah, for you it may be meh, but for a lot of people it’s a reminder of an unwelcome intrusion into their personal choices, which a cursory examination of these comments will tell you. /end rant. Back to crocheted lactating badger suits!
May 3, 2010 at 11:48 am
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May 3, 2010 at 11:48 am
@ 122 “I guess I just find it hypocritical to make fun of this but get riled up when someone makes fun of items that go to support your charities and causes.”
If the proceeds from this went to any organization or charitable effort, I’d have left it alone.
May 3, 2010 at 11:51 am
Helen Killer is a beam of common sense-scented sunshine into a dusty room.
May 3, 2010 at 11:57 am
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May 3, 2010 at 11:58 am
They should also have a bumper sticker that says, “got bodily fluids?”
May 3, 2010 at 12:02 pm
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May 3, 2010 at 12:09 pm
If someone would make the “I like air” one, I would totally buy that.
May 3, 2010 at 2:30 pm
I wonder what she would say if I went up to her car window and held out a Dixie cup?
In all seriousness, breastfeeding is near the top of my “Downright Creepy Things” list. However, also on that list are pregnancy and childbirth, so I may have hit on something here…
May 3, 2010 at 3:24 pm
“I think it is as meaningful as any other form of glib communication.”
In other words, not very important at all.
May 3, 2010 at 6:50 pm
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May 3, 2010 at 7:15 pm
I didn’t thumbs-down you, just disagreed.
May 3, 2010 at 8:24 pm
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May 3, 2010 at 8:32 pm
Bronc is right about bumper stickers. They are “show off / attention seeking behavior”. Breast feeding is part of a process that won’t occurs unless someone ejaculates.
Ejaculation is the powerful event that launches the miracle birth process but I doubt Rebekah or YoMama would glorify ejaculation with a “Got Semen?” bumper sticker because they wouldn’t want “that kind of attention”.
Be honest about the desire for attention that the bumper sticker provides. Thats all.
May 3, 2010 at 8:53 pm
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May 4, 2010 at 7:45 am
Jesus Christ Boob Nazis et al – You’re making us sane and grounded “lactivists” look like jerks! I’m 100% pro boob milk, but I also don’t give a shit what the next mom does. Do I feel formula is inferior? Sure I do. But I also rub whiskey on my kid’s gums and let him eat a Taco Bell burrito from time to time, so who the hell am I to judge? Want help with bf’ing? Call me. Want to feel bad because you don’t want to bf? Well, don’t look at me.
May 4, 2010 at 10:17 am
efit, aside from the whiskey thing, I ditto what you said. The whiskey is all mine. I think I love you.
May 4, 2010 at 11:16 am
Ah sudabaki – I love you back, but only if you share the whiskey.
May 4, 2010 at 11:29 am
Pour one for me!
Efit, yours is a moderate voice that unfortunately gets drowned out too often. And it makes me a little sad, because the message that gets lost in the preaching and guilt-tripping isn’t a bad one at all. The paradox of over-stridency is that it often turns people off of the very cause that they’re fighting so hard for. They’re unfortunately their own worst enemies.
PS–Taco Bell for a young ‘un? You are a braver woman than I.