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Pamper Yourself

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92 comments on Pamper Yourself

  1. ladycrim
    April 22, 2010 at 9:33 am

    No wonder they’re on Clearance …

    Thumb up Thumb down +21

  2. joshpincusiscrying
    April 22, 2010 at 9:36 am

    These would have made a great gift for June Allyson.

    Thumb up Thumb down +32

  3. VoteAudrey
    April 22, 2010 at 9:36 am

    I rather think these were dyed by a body part(s) other than the hands….

    Thumb up Thumb down +29

  4. denisewalks
    April 22, 2010 at 9:36 am

    I just love how they are modeled to show just how much they look shit and pissed in.

    Thumb up Thumb down +75

  5. hautemom
    April 22, 2010 at 9:39 am

    lol. april, you rock.

    Thumb up Thumb down +6

  6. hamoza
    April 22, 2010 at 9:41 am

    I ‘spose if you want to draw attention away from your fat ankles or baggy knees , these would be the way to do it, right to your splotchy crotch.Blind idiot.

    Thumb up Thumb down +44

  7. lollywood
    April 22, 2010 at 9:42 am

    They got the funky part right.

    Thumb up Thumb down +26

  8. fluffysue
    April 22, 2010 at 9:43 am

    The shorts were funny as it is, but the pie chart is hysterical!

    Thumb up Thumb down +19

  9. leftfoot
    April 22, 2010 at 9:43 am

    Unlike the McHammer’s “12 day shitters”, these are merely “20 minute shitters”.

    http://www.lamebook.com/wp-content/uploads/2010/04/PhoDOHsWTF4.jpg
    (y’all are going to hate me.)

    Thumb up Thumb down +15

  10. hamoza
    April 22, 2010 at 9:45 am

    Oh left foot, did ya’ have to ? lol yuuuuck.

    Thumb up Thumb down +9

  11. leftfoot
    April 22, 2010 at 9:46 am

    #10 hamoza: I thought about not, but then I couldn’t help myself. Before I knew it, I was cackling like a drunk hyena and clicking submit. :D

    Thumb up Thumb down +11

  12. Rebekah
    April 22, 2010 at 9:47 am

    More classy hot couture, Esty.

    Thumb up Thumb down 0

  13. hamoza
    April 22, 2010 at 9:51 am

    I have to wonder about these folks-if they somehow miss the GIANT pee-poo thingy, don’t they have at least one person around to provide some oversight?

    Thumb up Thumb down +11

  14. IscreamUscream
    April 22, 2010 at 9:51 am

    :shock:
    :shock:
    :lol:

    Thumb up Thumb down +1

  15. MyEyesMyEyes
    April 22, 2010 at 9:52 am

    Maybe instead of washing them in colors of green and gold she should have washed them in water and Tide.

    Thumb up Thumb down +47

  16. DTKMKihn.blogspot.com
    April 22, 2010 at 9:53 am

    These could become quite popular for those of us with bladder control issues. If we always look like we have wet ourselves, no one will know when we do. One question, do the come in a size that will cover my big childbearing butt?

    Thumb up Thumb down +31

  17. razberries
    April 22, 2010 at 9:53 am

    I think Fergie would make a great spokesperson for these?

    Thumb up Thumb down +29

  18. HomeAlone
    April 22, 2010 at 9:54 am

    Geez, I wonder why they’re on “clearance.”

    And this is giving me some painful kindergarten flashbacks…where are my pills…

    Thumb up Thumb down +7

  19. hamoza
    April 22, 2010 at 9:57 am

    #18- ah yes brings back memories. I was teased mercilessly once, centuries ago, for having a stain on my clothes. Why would a parent inflict this on their kid on purpose?Yutzes.

    Thumb up Thumb down +5

  20. razberries
    April 22, 2010 at 9:58 am

    these sunshine shorts are what happen before the sunshine bowl

    Thumb up Thumb down +11

  21. dscokween
    April 22, 2010 at 9:59 am

    gotta go, gotta go, gotta go right….oops
    These should be Detrol giveaways.

    Thumb up Thumb down +6

  22. hamoza
    April 22, 2010 at 9:59 am

    #@raz-at least the sunshine bowl was well made…

    Thumb up Thumb down +5

  23. hamoza
    April 22, 2010 at 10:03 am

    The good thing about these is that you can use them as a cleaning rag/ toss ‘em, but limited perception is forever….

    Thumb up Thumb down +3

  24. Buzzkill To Teenagers
    April 22, 2010 at 10:11 am

    When tiedye goes horribly hilariously WRONG.

    All I can think of now is that scene from “Life of Brian”

    “….he has a wife, you know. Her name is Incontinentia Buttocks.”

    Thumb up Thumb down +23

  25. sudabaki©
    April 22, 2010 at 10:14 am

    From her profile:

    “Love to take the ordinary,unusual and throw away items and transform them into something that makes you smile!”

    Oh it’s making us smile all right.

    Thumb up Thumb down +41

  26. creepydolls
    April 22, 2010 at 10:15 am

    I can get the same effect by riding Splash Mountain at Disneyland.

    Thumb up Thumb down +16

  27. Wilma Fingerdoo
    April 22, 2010 at 10:18 am

    Why buy when I can achieve this same look naturally just by jumping on the trampoline with the kids?
    Or a few good sneezes. Getting old sucks.

    Thumb up Thumb down +48

  28. sudabaki©
    April 22, 2010 at 10:21 am

    She should take those off to dry, otherwise she’s going to get a rash down there, and there’s nothing fun about that.

    Thumb up Thumb down +33

  29. Chrisnyc1213
    April 22, 2010 at 10:23 am

    These are perfect for people with personal space issues. No one will come within 35 feet of you.

    Thumb up Thumb down +52

  30. IscreamUscream
    April 22, 2010 at 10:44 am

    If you ever stain pants this color, please see your doctor immediately.

    Thumb up Thumb down +11

  31. whimsicalisthenics
    April 22, 2010 at 10:45 am

    Problems with trying to sell these shorts:

    http://cheezburger.com/View/3444165376

    I mean, how hard would it be to just re-dye the things.

    Thumb up Thumb down +6

  32. Patty has been abducted by an Alien
    April 22, 2010 at 10:51 am

    My mother-in-law used to go to yard sales and buy junk. Not to recycle or craft-up in any way. She would buy stuff like these shorts and then WEAR THEM saying, “They only cost me a dollar! A DOLLAR!”

    No joke- she wore a yard sale dress to our wedding. It was “fancy” though, because she paid four dollars for it… FOUR DOLLARS!

    Thumb up Thumb down +29

  33. baloneerindzjr
    April 22, 2010 at 10:54 am

    At $5, you can afford these even if you’re piss poor.

    Thumb up Thumb down +18

  34. Recovering Crack Baby
    April 22, 2010 at 10:58 am

    Sharts- 5.00

    Thumb up Thumb down +45

  35. BillsBayou
    April 22, 2010 at 11:04 am

    Swamp Butt!

    Thumb up Thumb down +7

  36. kirstenrana
    April 22, 2010 at 11:04 am

    Wow, something even more unappealing than a camel-toe.

    Thumb up Thumb down +19

  37. Stretch65
    April 22, 2010 at 11:05 am

    I would think the picture would be blurrier – the photographer must have been laughing hysterically

    Thumb up Thumb down +11

  38. Bratfink
    April 22, 2010 at 11:11 am

    OMFG, that graph pretty much says it all! I snorted my vodka and cola out my nose! Thanks!

    Thumb up Thumb down +4

  39. kirstenrana
    April 22, 2010 at 11:11 am

    A little too much liquid sunshine, eh?

    And how exactly does this qualify as geekery on Etsy?

    Thumb up Thumb down +11

  40. Bratfink
    April 22, 2010 at 11:12 am

    Why do I now have a song playing in my head?

    “Who wears short sharts?”

    LOLOL!

    Thumb up Thumb down +27

  41. kirstenrana
    April 22, 2010 at 11:12 am

    @Bratfink: Better out your nose than in your shorts!

    Thumb up Thumb down +11

  42. babalu
    April 22, 2010 at 11:19 am

    #9 – OMG that is just too gross. Head hurts from trying to comprehend how someone cannot notice that there is SHIT RUNNING DOWN THEIR LEGS!!!!!

    Thumb up Thumb down -2

  43. sudabaki©
    April 22, 2010 at 11:22 am

    #40 Bratfink: I have this, in honor of Skully’s masterpiece earlier this week,

    I’m pissing out sunshine , hoohah
    and it don’t feel good!!

    Hey, all wet now
    and it don’t feel good!!

    I feel the rash, I feel the rash, I feel the rash that’s really real
    hey yeh

    Thumb up Thumb down +9

  44. Wilma Fingerdoo
    April 22, 2010 at 11:39 am

    This makes me nostalgic for the SNL skit years back for the Oops, I Crapped my Pants! adult diapers.
    Playing tennis, crapping your pants.

    Thumb up Thumb down +15

  45. redredred
    April 22, 2010 at 11:52 am

    Can someone please explain to me the “JUST FUN!!” element of these shorts. Not only is it anywhere on Helen’s very accurate graph, I can’t find it myself. Of course, this could just be because I’m bad at math.

    Thumb up Thumb down +4

  46. redredred
    April 22, 2010 at 11:53 am

    *Not only can is it nowhere to be found on Helen’s very accurate graph. Forgive me. It’s a very Derp day today.

    Thumb up Thumb down +3

  47. redredred
    April 22, 2010 at 11:55 am

    Okay, I can’t even get my corrections right. I think my coffee IV was malfunctioning this morning. I’m not even going to bother to try to fix it again for fear of making even less sense.

    Thumb up Thumb down +8

  48. rachemus
    April 22, 2010 at 11:57 am

    sunshame.

    Thumb up Thumb down +4

  49. eternalgreenknight
    April 22, 2010 at 12:00 pm

    Imagine your eyes catching a flash of sexy leg, then gradually climbing up to be confronted with an explosion of shit and piss. I must say, it really is a turn-off, unless of course you’re into that sort of thing… like a lot of artists apparently are. Nah, who am I kidding, it’s just another reason to demand the offending item of clothing be taken off at once. ;-)

    Thumb up Thumb down +4

  50. hethatisme
    April 22, 2010 at 12:03 pm

    Playing in MY head?
    KISS’ “Shart it Out Loud”
    Also, shouldn’t it actually be listed as “1 AND 2 in Stock”?

    Thumb up Thumb down +9

  51. redredred
    April 22, 2010 at 12:08 pm

    #49 eternalgreenknight:
    Hey hot stuff. Is that shit and piss in your pants or are you just happy to see me?

    Thumb up Thumb down +9

  52. leftfoot
    April 22, 2010 at 12:11 pm

    #51 redredred : I have a feeling I’ll be using that same line when I’m nearly senile and shoved into a county-run old folk’s home by my cousin’s kids. (One reason I probably should have procreated – at least they’d feel guilty.)

    Thumb up Thumb down +6

  53. redredred
    April 22, 2010 at 12:18 pm

    #52 leftfoot: I just snorted into my new batch of coffee. Good one. These shorts are probably a fountain of nursing home pick up lines if we really thought about it.

    Thumb up Thumb down +2

  54. Skully
    April 22, 2010 at 12:30 pm

    Thumb up Thumb down +63

  55. Stretch65
    April 22, 2010 at 12:32 pm

    Skully – that is SOOOOOO wrong and
    I LOVE IT!!

    Thumb up Thumb down +3

  56. mtopia
    April 22, 2010 at 12:33 pm

    @53 There is certainly a fountain involved, but it may not be spurting come ons.

    Thumb up Thumb down +6

  57. hamoza
    April 22, 2010 at 12:33 pm

    Oh Efffffff Skully! Even a drunk hyena wouldn’t wear these(#11) but they seem to fit the bill for Varga. Bwahahahahaha

    Thumb up Thumb down +7

  58. leftfoot
    April 22, 2010 at 12:48 pm

    #53 redredred : who wears short shorts? Incontinent seniors wear short shorts!

    Thumb up Thumb down +4

  59. sudabaki©
    April 22, 2010 at 12:58 pm

    Skully, you just made me shoot fresca out my sunshine hole!

    Thumb up Thumb down +7

  60. Stretch65
    April 22, 2010 at 12:59 pm

    #59 OOOOH BUBBLY!!!

    Thumb up Thumb down +2

  61. Efit
    April 22, 2010 at 1:46 pm

    And seller recoiled in shame! Listing is gone and now I can’t engage in schedenfreude. I can haz link to her shop?

    Thumb up Thumb down +1

  62. Efit
    April 22, 2010 at 1:59 pm

    Thank you sudabaki! Never mind @#61. I came, I saw, I was like, “Damn her shop doesn’t suck. No fun.”

    Thumb up Thumb down 0

  63. SuperSnark
    April 22, 2010 at 1:59 pm

    Looks like what happens to your shorts after eating at a sleezy taco cart!
    Pie graph Bwahahaha!
    Skully Eeeew, but funny!

    Thumb up Thumb down +2

  64. fame4crap
    April 22, 2010 at 2:01 pm

    You guys made me laugh so hard I almost pissed my pants. One good reason to invest in a pair of these, for when I read all the Regretsy fuckery!

    Thumb up Thumb down +3

  65. mtopia
    April 22, 2010 at 2:05 pm

    They just look so uncomfortable. I feel like I need a bath each time I look at them. From the front and sides they looked fine. Ewww.

    Thumb up Thumb down -1

  66. sudabaki©
    April 22, 2010 at 2:06 pm

    No problem Efit. When I looked at her shop I couldn’t imagine what she was thinking when she listed these.

    Thumb up Thumb down 0

  67. HelenaHandbasket
    April 22, 2010 at 2:07 pm

    The crotch stain sadly detracts from the lovely shotgunning duo design on the upper cheek areas.

    Thumb up Thumb down +1

  68. coolpauper
    April 22, 2010 at 2:13 pm

    Is this some new trend? “sunshine”= stained with bodily fluids

    Thumb up Thumb down 0

  69. coolpauper
    April 22, 2010 at 2:14 pm

    …like a beautiful golden shower of sunshine…

    Thumb up Thumb down +4

  70. fame4crap
    April 22, 2010 at 2:22 pm

    Guess she found out she was on Regretsy…the item is no longer there. It is sad, she is going to miss out…but we can just continue without her…..

    Thumb up Thumb down 0

  71. WANNA POST ALL NIGHT
    April 22, 2010 at 2:46 pm

    Ladies, have you ever felt…not so fresh?

    Thumb up Thumb down +7

  72. IscreamUscream
    April 22, 2010 at 3:21 pm

    ♫♪♫
    Who wears shit shorts
    We wear shit shorts
    They’re such shit shorts
    We like shit shorts
    Who wears shit shorts
    We wear shit shorts.
    ♫♪♫

    Thumb up Thumb down +8

  73. Vile & Evil Debbie Downer
    April 22, 2010 at 3:57 pm

    There is just something about tie-dying that ‘thinking ahead’ will never be a part of.

    Thumb up Thumb down +2

  74. peanutbutterthief
    April 22, 2010 at 3:59 pm

    I cannot believe that no one has mentioned this skit from Snuffbox: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KAW6kHCf-2I

    This must be part of the summer 2010 line…

    Thumb up Thumb down 0

  75. 5erg
    April 22, 2010 at 5:03 pm

    It’s mean but it’s true :/

    I never would of taken the listing down though :O

    Thumb up Thumb down -1

  76. spareGus
    April 22, 2010 at 5:25 pm

    someone had avocados for dinner.

    Thumb up Thumb down +2

  77. IscreamUscream
    April 22, 2010 at 8:55 pm

    @skully! :lol:
    I know that stain won’t leave my brain.

    Thumb up Thumb down 0

  78. Recovering Crack Baby
    April 22, 2010 at 9:57 pm

    SKULLY- that fucking Varga- when are you two coming over here?

    Thumb up Thumb down 0

  79. Recovering Crack Baby
    April 22, 2010 at 9:59 pm

    #72 IscreamUscream : ♫♪♫
    Who wears shit shorts
    We wear shit shorts
    They’re such shit shorts
    We like shit shorts
    Who wears shit shorts
    We wear shit shorts.
    ♫♪♫

    MIND IF I ADD A LINE OR TWO….

    If you dare wear shit shorts
    Prepare for shit shorts

    Thumb up Thumb down +3

  80. RobinLynne
    April 23, 2010 at 7:39 am

    MINE!

    Thumb up Thumb down +3

  81. enamy
    April 23, 2010 at 7:51 am

    my friend has a daughter named amya and she looks almost just like this: http://www.etsy.com/listing/22343236/sale-amya-collection-miss-pink-white

    i’m too hungover for this confusion.

    Thumb up Thumb down +1

  82. Bridget
    April 23, 2010 at 8:38 am

    THIS ITEM IS LOVINGLY FEATURED ON REGRETSY THANK YOU SO MUCH REGRETSY AND IN HONOR OF THIS THESE SHORTS ARE ONLY TWENTY CENTS AND ONE DOLLAR FOR SHIPPING

    TWENTY CENTS AND 1.00 FOR SHIPPING AND THEY ARE YOURS.

    THANK YOU FOR THE SHOUT OUT REGRETSY!!!!!!!!!!!!!

    100% Cotton…Sweatshirt material type

    Drawstring/Adjustable

    Size: Large
    Brand: Bella

    SOLD!

    Thumb up Thumb down +9

  83. Bridget
    April 23, 2010 at 9:33 am

    P.S. I emailed her to thank her for her sense of humor, and she is SUPER nice. Her shop is really cute, too. Give her some love.

    Thumb up Thumb down +6

  84. sudabaki©
    April 23, 2010 at 9:41 am

    Yay for her being a good sport!!

    Thumb up Thumb down +6

  85. RobinLynne
    April 23, 2010 at 10:19 am

    @Bridget She is a total sweetie. She’s already left me +FB and is shipping the shorts straight to my mom. Woohoooo!

    Thumb up Thumb down +6

  86. Bridget
    April 23, 2010 at 11:52 am

    Robin, you’re amazing. I’m so glad you bought them and they’ll be in good hands. You will do great things in (or with) those pants.

    Thumb up Thumb down +2

  87. Monstrosa
    April 23, 2010 at 4:29 pm

    #74 peanutbutterthief : Thanks for that clip. I love Snuffbox and had not seen that one.

    Thumb up Thumb down +1

  88. mama0mouse
    April 24, 2010 at 8:06 pm

    hahaaa they removed the butt photo and then they sold. poor sap probably has no clue now. thats what they get for buying tye dye shorts.

    Thumb up Thumb down -2

  89. AmenhotepIV
    April 25, 2010 at 1:58 am

    At first I thought the item was a photograph for sale of someone who had pissed their pants. Really. Then I realized it was just a bad dye job.

    Thumb up Thumb down 0

  90. snarkeygirl
    April 28, 2010 at 12:01 am

    #74 peanutbutterthief : I cannot believe that no one has mentioned this skit from Snuffbox: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KAW6kHCf-2I

    This must be part of the summer 2010 line…

    WOW! Thanks PBT for that!

    Thumb up Thumb down 0

  91. hellsbells
    June 10, 2010 at 3:14 pm

    #85 RobinLynne :
    @Bridget She is a total sweetie. She’s already left me +FB and is shipping the shorts straight to my mom. Woohoooo!

    I dont think your getting it…. at this forum site we bag the stuff not buy it!!!!
    Whats the point of doing it if we feel sorry for them and then go and fill our houses with their crap. It sends the wrong message “make more crap we’ll buy it”.
    We are trying to save humanity here from shit shorts.
    Just feel pity for her if you have to and donate…

    No, I think you’re missing it. Haven’t you seen this? – HK

    Thumb up Thumb down +1

  92. blackgermanshepherd
    May 13, 2011 at 9:23 pm

    How did I miss this Gem!! Hilarious!!

    Thumb up Thumb down 0

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