YOUR AUCTION PREVIEW: 4/19
By now you know that Housing Works Bookstore in NYC is hosting a Regretsy book signing on April 28th. Housing Works Bookstore is a nonprofit bookstore and cafe, where all proceeds benefit homeless people living with HIV/AIDS.
To make this night even better, I’ve been collecting your donated items for a live auction. All proceeds will go directly to Housing Works.
I’ll be auctioning off 10 lots, and I’m posting one each day for you to see. Consider it a preview, along the order of say, Sotheby’s, only with more vagina.
If you see something here you must own, and really, that’s a given, then come down to Housing Works and place a bid during our live auction. The event starts at 7:00 PM, and all the details can be found here.
So let’s start with this:
THE REGRETSY PLUSH COLLECTION
WITH PRICELESS DECOUPAGED BOX DISPLAY THING
The Regretsy Plush Collection
RETAIL VALUE: $255.25
Oversized catnip-stuffed vagina cat toy with squeaking labia
By Oh Boy Cat Toy
Value: $25.00
“Whimsicle” Pillow
By Creeplings
Value: $25.00
Regretsy fabric pincushion with heart pins
By Mitmickey
Value: $15.00
FROM THE BOOK: Vasectomy Vern plush toy, plus cuff, T-shirt and card
By Crafty is the new Black
Sells for $60.00
FROM THE BOOK: Penis Chapstick cozy
By The Naughty Hook
Sells for $5.25
Bella Boo’s Uterus Pillow with detachable eggs for throwing*
By Gimpy Vicki
Value: $30.00
*This is the actual piece that started this whole controversy, donated by the artist herself
3 Crocheted animals
By Concertina Pieces
Sells for $40.00
Crocheted boob
By Smeddley*
Sells for $5.00
*Smeddley does not have an Etsy shop, but asked that I remind you to donate blood!
Tall Bunny is Tall
By The Wandering Knitter
Sells for $20.00
Snarks Awesome Sauce
By Razberries Designs
Value: $5.00
Everything is stuffed in a box covered with photos, artwork and wonderfully funny bits of fuckery given to me by fans on April 6th at Borders (the day the book came out). It is completely made of cardboard and tape, which by Regretsy standards, is heirloom quality.
Happy bidding, and see you in New York!
April 19, 2010 at 1:14 pm
Pure awesomeness. If I had a shitload of money, I would totally overbid on this fantastic pile of fuckery.
April 19, 2010 at 1:21 pm
If my stuffed vagina were used as a cat toy, I fear it would squeak, as well.
April 19, 2010 at 1:26 pm
The squeaking labia alone is worth $255.25.
April 19, 2010 at 1:29 pm
Hee hee! I see some of my whimbsicle fucquery on that box, meowww! I don’t remember modeling for the squeaking labia toy, but I was pretty drunk that night. Hope these get outrageously high bids and make lots of dough for the Housing Works (I know they will).
April 19, 2010 at 1:30 pm
This is fantastic, I tell you!! I love how the Whimsicle pillow also looks like a suppository!
April 19, 2010 at 1:30 pm
Oh my goodness, such awesome and such fuckery!
That box that it all sits in… there’s an alien there who looks familiar to me! Heeeee!
April 19, 2010 at 1:33 pm
That “Whimsicle” pillow must get in my life!
April 19, 2010 at 1:36 pm
Also, I can’t believe that link you put to that shop announcement under Gimpy Vicky’s uterus pillow. I hadn’t heard about that before, and I’m shocked to read it!!
April 19, 2010 at 1:41 pm
Hidden due to low comment rating. Click here to see.
April 19, 2010 at 1:48 pm
Oh the humanity! And I curse the fucking fates that have conspired to keep me from being able to go to New York for this. I could go on but I won’t. I just hope there will be a Regretsy get together someday and that there will also be fuckery there.
April 19, 2010 at 1:49 pm
Can you out fucque fucquery? Yes, I think we have the evidence here!And for the person who thinks they’ve heard it all, dude, you haven’t lived until you ‘ve heard a labia squeak.
April 19, 2010 at 1:52 pm
@ Vile and Evil Debbie Downer, I wonder if my picture made it onto the heirloom box… *sighs wistfully*
April 19, 2010 at 1:57 pm
What a beautiful box of fuckery for such a worthy cause! Together we warm.
April 19, 2010 at 2:02 pm
The cat toy is hilarious! squeaky indeed!
April 19, 2010 at 2:02 pm
I hope whoever wins this will tell us all who made it on to the box lol.
I’m giddy with anticipation to see the rest of the lots that are being auctioned off, I wish I could be there for the event *sigh* So exciting. It’s nice to know that the equation of bad craft + snarky humour + charity all comes out to such a wonderful product for thousands to snicker over in a corner.
April 19, 2010 at 2:03 pm
Hey my avatar finally changed. I was so cute back then!
April 19, 2010 at 2:06 pm
That cat toy will haunt my nightmares.
April 19, 2010 at 2:06 pm
I don’t even know how to change my avatar and I’d like to…
April 19, 2010 at 2:07 pm
This makes me happy, despite knowing my husband is standing behind me, shaking his head at the offerings and wondering what has come over his art smock-peddling wife. I’m tickled to have contributed!
April 19, 2010 at 2:11 pm
@#18 CP: go to Gravatar.com, be sure to use same e-mail addy as Regretsy.
April 19, 2010 at 2:33 pm
I am honored to be included with some of my favorite Regretsians
I can’t wait to see the upcoming lots of fuckery!
April 19, 2010 at 2:43 pm
I’m so sorry to continue this off topic crap… thank you Skully, but Gravatar and WordPress keep telling me that my username/e-mail/password is incorrect even though I checked back with the confirmation email I got originally and I know I haven’t changed anything. *exasperated*
Any ideas? I asked about this on the Regretsy FB… just to keep this thread cleaner of crap comments.
April 19, 2010 at 2:48 pm
What a lucky duck someone will be!
April 19, 2010 at 2:52 pm
Oohlala!
Helen Killer’s culled a cornucopia of cuddly fucquery!
April 19, 2010 at 2:57 pm
#22– I had trouble, too— I just went ahead and clicked ‘forgot my password’ and got a new one. I was able to get in then.
April 19, 2010 at 3:09 pm
Raz: your Snarks Awesome Sauce definitely lives up to its name!
April 19, 2010 at 3:10 pm
That is fantastic I just want to run up and hug it and kiss it. Cannot wait to see the other lots as well.
April 19, 2010 at 3:19 pm
I don’t think any of my crocheted genitalia have ever been in such exalted company. Or any of my actual genitalia, for that matter. I am honored.
April 19, 2010 at 3:44 pm
Speaking of auctions, I so thought of Regretsy when I saw a story about this auction on the news this weekend: http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-1265284/Yetis-unicorns-flying-kittens-Inside-worlds-zaniest-zoo.html. Scroll about two-thirds of the way down to see Url’s long lost brother.
I hope I’m not posting something that has already been posted elsewhere, but I thought this was just so Regretsy.
P.S.: I wish I could make it to NY for the auction. I hope you get lots of money!
April 19, 2010 at 3:53 pm
fantastic fuckery!!! if i wasn’s a starving typographer i would bid. awesomesauce applause to all the regretsy artists.
April 19, 2010 at 4:54 pm
Well I hate being broke even more now. But I will be there to watch the more fortunate than I.
April 19, 2010 at 5:28 pm
Aaaa! This is awesome! So much genitalia!
April 19, 2010 at 5:36 pm
BTW, Helen, I would’ve valued my whimsicle pillow about 10 bucks higher. On the other hand, it is getting all that box-thing sex for free, so…
April 19, 2010 at 6:35 pm
LMFAO. Love the box. Love everything in it. Soooo excited to see tomorrow’s lot!
April 19, 2010 at 9:43 pm
This is so amazing, congrats to all of the artists taking part! Y’all are good people.
Now who can hook me up with one of those vagina cat toys? Its pretty sweet, but the squeaking labia sold me. Does the clitoris not make noise though? I feel like it should.
April 20, 2010 at 2:50 am
Oh boy, I would pay buckets of money for a catnip filled vagina with a squeaky labia! I tell you that my heart is broken to live thousands of miles from NYC. Best of luck for a fantastic auction! Keep us posted.
April 20, 2010 at 9:05 am
Okay, just got your book in the mail today, and love it so far… but because I’m super meticulous (or possibly just really anal) I found an error- since I know you’re going to sell buckets of these books, maybe you can edit it for the next run!
On the first page of the introduction (6th paragraph) you state that you found etsy in 2007, but on page 39 (5th paragraph) you state that you found etsy in the summer of 2006.
Sorry, I didn’t know where else to write about this…
April 20, 2010 at 11:49 am
OMG – did Chynna Phillips model for that clitoris?? Geez, I feel faint now….. too much fucquerie!