Profits from Regretsy merchandise are used to hire Etsy artists to create handmade products for various charities, or to directly benefit Etsy sellers in need.

All revenue generated by Regretsy.com is donated to charitable works. See our Charity page for complete information.

Money raised to date for all projects: $10,057.00

Click here to visit our Zazzle store

Amazon.com
Barnes & Noble
Borders
IndieBound
RandomHouse.com
and other retailers

Mid-Century Moron

Posted by Helen Killer

78 comments

Boy, do I ever love love heart these! They really have that whole Eames era kind of art deco, boomerang, flying-saucer-atoms-and-parabolas thing going on, which is so incredibly awesomely googie doo-wop sputnik, and not anything I could find in any garage in the world right this fucking minute, minus the stripped heads and 50 years of shit in the threads rendering them completely fucking useless.

BUY HANDMADE

Filed in Uncategorized 78 comments

78 Comments

Add Comment

Apr 19, 2010
4:33 pm

#1 Booya :

Well hot damn. It’s exactly what I’ve been looking for!

Rate this comment: +12

Apr 19, 2010
4:36 pm

#2 X Random Snarker X :

Wow… I bet the crusty old plank they came out of had more value

Rate this comment: +12

Apr 19, 2010
4:37 pm

#3 Curly Girl Jewelry :

But, but, but, they’re VINTAGE!

Rate this comment: +19

Apr 19, 2010
4:37 pm

#4 Skully :

If you bought these @ $0.50 each, you’d definitely be getting screwed.

Rate this comment: +91

Apr 19, 2010
4:37 pm

#5 Cineaste :

Cripes, if you need an antique screw, I hear Larry King is back on the market.

Rate this comment: +262

Apr 19, 2010
4:38 pm

#6 Patty has been abducted by an Alien :

Back in the day, my parents got vinyl siding put on their house. When we pulled off the old, crappy, wood-shingle siding (which was iron-supplement-poo green), we found that the entire house had been insulated with newspapers. That’s right, newspapers from 1912 to 1914.

We read them, laughed at what was considered “news” and then we chucked them.

If we knew then what we know now about selling online… *sigh*

Rate this comment: +43

Apr 19, 2010
4:38 pm

#7 TacomaMiss :

Remind me to sell off some of my 80-year-old ART DECO ERA soot-covered pipe organ wire one of these days.

Rate this comment: +13

Apr 19, 2010
4:38 pm

#8 starrydreams :

“It is amazing what people just throw away. How do we do all that we do? Read our profile for more on our copious supply and the miracle of dumpster diving.”

Praise the Lord for dumpster diving!!!!!!

Rate this comment: +15

Apr 19, 2010
4:39 pm

#9 Fluffer :

Screw this shit!

Rate this comment: +18

Apr 19, 2010
4:39 pm

#10 Skully :

@#4 Cineaste: LOL at work! Thanks, I needed that!

Rate this comment: +11

Apr 19, 2010
4:39 pm

#11 starrydreams :

I hope the idiot that buys this has their tetanus booster up to date.

Rate this comment: +18

Apr 19, 2010
4:40 pm

#12 sawdustbear :

This is going to go really great with all the bent plywood in my backyard.

Rate this comment: +15

Apr 19, 2010
4:41 pm

#13 starrydreams :

#4 Cineaste- bwahhhh hahhhh

Rate this comment: +8

Apr 19, 2010
4:42 pm

#14 creepydolls :

Buy these and get screwed!

Rate this comment: +3

Apr 19, 2010
4:42 pm

#15 TacomaMiss :

Thirty bucks for some pipe with rocks glued on it? HELL YES!
http://www.etsy.com/listing/20473793/wand-of-prosperity—ooak

Rate this comment: +6

Apr 19, 2010
4:42 pm

#16 X Random Snarker X :

I actually lived in a house that had been converted to a bar on the main floor. While renovating up stairs, and tearing back the rotton flooring, we found newspapers from 1902-05 and were amazed by the prices of brand new pianos and mink stoles. Also found some really neat square nails, made by a blacksmith. These may have been of some limited value because you could actually tell they were handmade. These screws though, who knows?

Rate this comment: +16

Apr 19, 2010
4:44 pm

#17 pplrdum :

Is that “vintage” detritus and “vintage” rust in these “vintage” screws? I hope so, otherwise, I’m not interested…

Rate this comment: +9

Apr 19, 2010
4:44 pm

#18 methuselah :

Vintage!

Rate this comment: -2

Apr 19, 2010
4:46 pm

#19 bootsychoo :

#4 Cineaste: I bow to your superior commentary.
Well played, indeed.

Rate this comment: +3

Apr 19, 2010
4:47 pm

#20 MsChristy McKnickers :

I’m surprised she didn’t screw them into a chunk of firewood and use them to hang some of her busted jewelry constructs from them. Oh wait, that’s right, because they’re completely unusable in that condition!

Why do some people insist on rescuing REAL garbage from the garbage?

Rate this comment: +10

Apr 19, 2010
4:48 pm

#21 LeeLooDallas :

#4 Cineaste for comment of the day!!!

Rate this comment: +12

Apr 19, 2010
4:49 pm

#22 HermesGoddess :

Agreed, I know there’s no way I can top Cineaste’s comment on this one so I won’t even try.

FWIW I used to have an eBay account where I sold, well, basically a lot of shit I found in my 300 year old house. People ate it up, everything from hand-forged nails from the late 1700s all the way to 1960s psychedelic cotton curtains. I made quite a tidy sum selling that garbage.

Rate this comment: +17

Apr 19, 2010
4:51 pm

#23 bumblepuppy :

I don’t know how you’d choose between these screws or the nails (http://www.etsy.com/listing/32246743/1930s-nails). I’m sure someone else has a better joke than any I’m thinking of.

Rate this comment: +2

Apr 19, 2010
4:55 pm

#24 pplrdum :

@22 Bumble, well, it all depends on if you would rather get nailed or get screwed…

Rate this comment: +16

Apr 19, 2010
4:57 pm

#25 JanetLF :

Sounds like fun, just remember … “There’s a dress code at this party.”
http://www.etsy.com/listing/36286150/black-tie-affair-necklace

Rate this comment: -1

Apr 19, 2010
4:58 pm

#26 steviesegel :

#4 deserves comment of the day!

Too bad we don’t have a rimshot button on this site!
(but you can use this one)
http://www.instantrimshot.com/

Rate this comment: +7

Apr 19, 2010
5:03 pm

#27 butterwort :

The crap on the threads really gives it that rustic, vintage char-WHAT IS WRONG WITH PEOPLE?

Rate this comment: +11

Apr 19, 2010
5:13 pm

#28 Crossed Promise :

#2 Random Snarker, they’re probably keeping the plank these came out of… it probably has Jesus, Mary, or some random demonic forces making faces at them in it.
I hope these get turned into a necklace titled “Tetanus”.

Rate this comment: +9

Apr 19, 2010
5:15 pm

#29 batontwirler1 :

Agree – comment of the day for #4!

The tags for this include “3d Art” and “knitting”. Ok – what am I missing here?

Rate this comment: +13

Apr 19, 2010
5:19 pm

#30 janncri :

Trying not to get too mad…but….WHAT THE FUCK!
However, Cineaste FTW!

Rate this comment: +7

Apr 19, 2010
5:20 pm

#31 Monstrosa :

OK, wait. The photo is kinda great. I mean, why wouldn’t you just sell prints of this photo for $15?

Rate this comment: +15

Apr 19, 2010
5:20 pm

#32 joshpincusiscrying :

I long for the fine craftsmanship of the mid-20th century.

Rate this comment: +9

Apr 19, 2010
5:25 pm

#33 WANNA POST ALL NIGHT :

the rest of their shop is like a flea market of utter failure

Rate this comment: +22

Apr 19, 2010
5:40 pm

#34 IscreamUscream :

Cineaste

I won’t even try to beat that.

Just remember–tack on that extra $2 shipping.

Rate this comment: +2

Apr 19, 2010
5:44 pm

#35 thewhiterabbitaz :

Can I get some asbestos to go with that?

Rate this comment: +12

Apr 19, 2010
5:58 pm

#36 spandy :

Are those not Robertson screws?
Requiring a Robertson screwdriver with a square tip.
And a little under 1.5 inches is called 1 & 3/8″.
Duh.

Rate this comment: +5

Apr 19, 2010
6:03 pm

#37 hamoza :

Whoa ,the 20 th century- what patina & what a find . Isn’t that when people were like burned at the stake or something?
My fave is her bit on her wand:’the crystals are affixed with quartz glue to further assist the flow of magic….’

Rate this comment: +15

Apr 19, 2010
6:05 pm

#38 Buzzkill To Teenagers :

And to think I had a dumpster full of that stuff this past winter when we renovated the attic. That I had to PAY PEOPLE TO TAKE AWAY. Dammit!

…can I use these multipurpose?

Rate this comment: +6

Apr 19, 2010
6:05 pm

#39 twatsupcock :

Hidden due to low comment rating. Click here to see.

Rate this comment: -7

Apr 19, 2010
6:10 pm

#40 Patty has been abducted by an Alien :

#22 bumblepuppy :

I called the disabled guy in (he’s a carpenter) and said, “Do these nails look like they’re from the 1930s?”

He replied, “No, they look like they’re from… uh… THE STORE. I saw a whole bunch of vintage nails today, at Home Depot.”

Rate this comment: +24

Apr 19, 2010
6:14 pm

#41 razberries :

Cineaste, it’s been said before, but I’ll second, third, and etc. it- brilliant

ps- Helen’s commentary also rocked, as always LOL

Rate this comment: +4

Apr 19, 2010
6:21 pm

#42 Texchanchan :

The best part is all that Eames-parabola-sputnik stuff. Gah, I had to live it. To the best of my memory nails and screws looked exactly like they do now. Easily determined by disassembling my house.

Rate this comment: +4

Apr 19, 2010
6:27 pm

#43 Chrisnyc1213 :

Son of a BITCH. I could kill myself for throwing out all the junk from my apartment renovation. I could have KILLED on Etsy.

Rate this comment: +5

Apr 19, 2010
6:34 pm

#44 mtopia :

I don’t think I would want to put anything that has been sharing a rustic wooden plank with those screws in my ears.
http://www.etsy.com/listing/23415944/mary-di-caprios-earrings—fleur-de-lis

Rate this comment: +1

Apr 19, 2010
6:41 pm

#45 Cineaste :

Aw, you guys! I can’t tell you how many times I’ve read some of your comments and thought, “Wow, I wish I were even half that clever.” E-validation FTW!

But yeah, my grandparents’ garage is full of “vintage” screws from the 50s, at six for $3 I could make a fortune in no time and buy you all a drink.

Rate this comment: +17

Apr 19, 2010
6:42 pm

#46 iunifera :

Damn, I don’t remember the last time I had six screws…

Rate this comment: +23

Apr 19, 2010
6:52 pm

#47 Vile & Evil Debbie Downer :

Sure, they’re crappy old screws, but the way they’re arranged… so artistic, so mysterious, like crop circles. Kinda makes me want to buy th- WHAT THE FUCK? Someone is screwing with my head!

Rate this comment: +12

Apr 19, 2010
6:56 pm

#48 HelenaHandbasket :

I’m sooo disappointed-exactly what I was looking for, if only they were slightly OVER 1.5″ in length

Rate this comment: +7

Apr 19, 2010
7:00 pm

#49 X Random Snarker X :

Just you wait, in a few minutes it’ll be SOLD

Rate this comment: +2

Apr 19, 2010
7:07 pm

#50 Vile & Evil Debbie Downer :

I’m just waiting for the Etsy seller to list the ACTUAL screws used to affix Jesus to the cross.

Rate this comment: +13

Apr 19, 2010
7:14 pm

#51 Snargasm :

That seller sure has a screw loose!

Rate this comment: +9

Apr 19, 2010
7:51 pm

#52 sudabaki© :

Do I have to pay extra for the lead paint remnants in the thread?

Rate this comment: +5

Apr 19, 2010
8:21 pm

#53 spandy :

#48 ~ Helena, that would be your 1 & 5/8″ screw.
I’ve got a few boxes of them but without the detritus patina. Darn.

Rate this comment: +1

Apr 19, 2010
8:49 pm

#54 SuperSnark :

Cineaste: I know so redundant but Bahahaha So needs to be the of Regretsy comment of the day as for the screws-damn who knew all that shit my Grandpa saved was etsy worthy as “vintage” oh well all of us thought it was just a bunch of crap not a freakin gold mine!

Rate this comment: +3

Apr 19, 2010
10:02 pm

#55 mannequin :

I’m really only interested in the plaster/rust/lead paint/asbestos/detritus, how much for just that?

Rate this comment: +7

Apr 19, 2010
11:04 pm

#56 redredred :

All right, that’s it, I’m selling the old nails I have. I have so many of those, for just two bucks a nail I won’t have to worry about those pesky student loans.

Rate this comment: +1

Apr 19, 2010
11:07 pm

#57 Mookie :

… SCREW YOU …

Rate this comment: +2

Apr 20, 2010
5:13 am

#58 fluffynotfat :

I see she belongs to “Fantasy Artists on Etsy”…people who are artists only in their fantasies maybe???

Rate this comment: +5

Apr 20, 2010
5:51 am

#59 nitebyrd :

Well, I was born in the 1950’s, think of the money I could make if I started offering “Antique Screws” for sale! Of course, I’d definitely want more than $3.00 for my screwing expertise.

Rate this comment: +5

Apr 20, 2010
6:39 am

#60 eternalgreenknight :

Something screwy must be going on with all the people who put “#4 Cineaste.”

Rate this comment: 0

Apr 20, 2010
7:07 am

#61 thatdingo :

Thank God they didn’t try to clean or restore them. Ruins the collectible value.

Rate this comment: +6

Apr 20, 2010
7:09 am

#62 Mahekun :

How many people wanna bet she’s a hoarder living with 16 cats and ‘faerie’ lawn ornaments in the front yard?

Rate this comment: +7

Apr 20, 2010
7:15 am

#63 coolpauper :

I’m going to need to see a provenance before I invest my money. The screw market is full of forgeries.

Rate this comment: +15

Apr 20, 2010
7:25 am

#64 Mahekun :

Ooo look at this one. Perfect for that hippie or gansta or rasta weedin..er, wedding.
http://www.etsy.com/listing/38267555/amsterdam-greens-ring-pillow—ooak

Rate this comment: +3

Apr 20, 2010
8:05 am

#65 Stretch65 :

Cineaste really nailed it!!

Ah screw it!!

Rate this comment: +2

Apr 20, 2010
8:41 am

#66 Monstrosa :

#5 Cineaste : +209 and counting! Is that a record?

Rate this comment: +1

Apr 20, 2010
9:05 am

#67 BillsBayou :

What the hell is that yellow build-up on those screw heads? 50 years of smoking will do that.

Rate this comment: 0

Apr 20, 2010
9:07 am

#68 Rebekah :

I am very afraid of the craft that is destined to come from this “crafting supply”

What does it want to be? A brooche? A pair of tetnus ridden screw-in earrings? An abstract vagina? A statue of the Say What! guy made entirely out of rusty screws?

The mind reels.

Rate this comment: 0

Apr 20, 2010
9:14 am

#69 Efit :

I have nothing snarky or witty to add. All I can utter in complete amazement at this nitwit’s gall is:

PITIFUL
SHAMEFUL
RETARDSY

What an idiot.

Rate this comment: +1

Apr 20, 2010
9:15 am

#70 craftycoug :

Damn it! They are Philips. I only collect flat drive.

Rate this comment: +6

Apr 20, 2010
9:24 am

#71 Monstrosa :

#69 craftycoug : Think of the magick you could do with hex screws.

Rate this comment: +5

Apr 20, 2010
9:28 am

#72 eternalgreenknight :

I been selling so hard;
Like a yellowed a note-card?
Buy these. Say what?
Oh, sell me what I got

I get this feeling
That something’s bolting me down
or I’d hit the ceiling
for bein’ a big clown

Tonight I gotta screw

(Chorus)
Loose, screw loose
Kick off your leg warmers
Please, buy these
Pull me off regretsy
Jack, get back
C’mon I need more crack
multipurpose
Everybody cut screw-loose

Rate this comment: +10

Apr 20, 2010
9:58 am

#73 3InReverse :

But, but, but – what about the nicotine stained screw heads? That has to be worth the additional $2.96, doesn’t it? I mean you can’t easily replicate that anymore!

Rate this comment: +1

Apr 20, 2010
10:00 am

#74 fenrislorsrai :

Our basement is full of vintage GOLD clearly. We knew hoarding all those spare screws would be worthwhile… along with everything else that’s down there. Nuts, nails, staples, hinges, things we don’t know what they are, resistors, diodes, vacuum tubes…

actually the vacuum tubes are probably the only things worth anything.

Rate this comment: +1

Apr 20, 2010
1:20 pm

#75 Stretch65 :

Use your own envelope and get “CASH FOR SCREWS”

CASH IN ON THE SCREW-RUSH TODAY!!

Rate this comment: +3

Apr 20, 2010
6:01 pm

#76 HomeAlone :

#5 Cineasate – Brilliant!!!! If you don’t get the comment of the day ribbon, I’m going to flounce off angry!

Rate this comment: +1

Apr 23, 2010
6:02 pm

#77 PussDaddy :

Get screwed on Etsy.

Rate this comment: 0

May 18, 2010
1:03 pm

#78 steamcat5 :

Quote from the shop:
“Our promise is that everything created in our shoppe will always be composed of 90% or more upcycled busted junk – includes items fished out of the garbage.”

Three observations:
1) Honesty is a decent policy. *Sometimes*!!!
2) People will buy ANYTHING. Just look at eBay. Or Etsy… =(
3) People will SELL anything. (I’d want my 20 cent listing fee back)

Rate this comment: 0