Mid-Century Moron
Boy, do I ever love love heart these! They really have that whole Eames era kind of art deco, boomerang, flying-saucer-atoms-and-parabolas thing going on, which is so incredibly awesomely googie doo-wop sputnik, and not anything I could find in any garage in the world right this fucking minute, minus the stripped heads and 50 years of shit in the threads rendering them completely fucking useless.
BUY HANDMADE
April 19, 2010 at 4:33 pm
Well hot damn. It’s exactly what I’ve been looking for!
April 19, 2010 at 4:36 pm
Wow… I bet the crusty old plank they came out of had more value
April 19, 2010 at 4:37 pm
But, but, but, they’re VINTAGE!
April 19, 2010 at 4:37 pm
If you bought these @ $0.50 each, you’d definitely be getting screwed.
April 19, 2010 at 4:37 pm
Cripes, if you need an antique screw, I hear Larry King is back on the market.
April 19, 2010 at 4:38 pm
Back in the day, my parents got vinyl siding put on their house. When we pulled off the old, crappy, wood-shingle siding (which was iron-supplement-poo green), we found that the entire house had been insulated with newspapers. That’s right, newspapers from 1912 to 1914.
We read them, laughed at what was considered “news” and then we chucked them.
If we knew then what we know now about selling online… *sigh*
April 19, 2010 at 4:38 pm
Remind me to sell off some of my 80-year-old ART DECO ERA soot-covered pipe organ wire one of these days.
April 19, 2010 at 4:38 pm
“It is amazing what people just throw away. How do we do all that we do? Read our profile for more on our copious supply and the miracle of dumpster diving.”
Praise the Lord for dumpster diving!!!!!!
April 19, 2010 at 4:39 pm
Screw this shit!
April 19, 2010 at 4:39 pm
@#4 Cineaste: LOL at work! Thanks, I needed that!
April 19, 2010 at 4:39 pm
I hope the idiot that buys this has their tetanus booster up to date.
April 19, 2010 at 4:40 pm
This is going to go really great with all the bent plywood in my backyard.
April 19, 2010 at 4:41 pm
#4 Cineaste- bwahhhh hahhhh
April 19, 2010 at 4:42 pm
Buy these and get screwed!
April 19, 2010 at 4:42 pm
Thirty bucks for some pipe with rocks glued on it? HELL YES!
http://www.etsy.com/listing/20473793/wand-of-prosperity—ooak
April 19, 2010 at 4:42 pm
I actually lived in a house that had been converted to a bar on the main floor. While renovating up stairs, and tearing back the rotton flooring, we found newspapers from 1902-05 and were amazed by the prices of brand new pianos and mink stoles. Also found some really neat square nails, made by a blacksmith. These may have been of some limited value because you could actually tell they were handmade. These screws though, who knows?
April 19, 2010 at 4:44 pm
Is that “vintage” detritus and “vintage” rust in these “vintage” screws? I hope so, otherwise, I’m not interested…
April 19, 2010 at 4:44 pm
Vintage!
April 19, 2010 at 4:46 pm
#4 Cineaste: I bow to your superior commentary.
Well played, indeed.
April 19, 2010 at 4:47 pm
I’m surprised she didn’t screw them into a chunk of firewood and use them to hang some of her busted jewelry constructs from them. Oh wait, that’s right, because they’re completely unusable in that condition!
Why do some people insist on rescuing REAL garbage from the garbage?
April 19, 2010 at 4:48 pm
#4 Cineaste for comment of the day!!!
April 19, 2010 at 4:49 pm
Agreed, I know there’s no way I can top Cineaste’s comment on this one so I won’t even try.
FWIW I used to have an eBay account where I sold, well, basically a lot of shit I found in my 300 year old house. People ate it up, everything from hand-forged nails from the late 1700s all the way to 1960s psychedelic cotton curtains. I made quite a tidy sum selling that garbage.
April 19, 2010 at 4:51 pm
I don’t know how you’d choose between these screws or the nails (http://www.etsy.com/listing/32246743/1930s-nails). I’m sure someone else has a better joke than any I’m thinking of.
April 19, 2010 at 4:55 pm
@22 Bumble, well, it all depends on if you would rather get nailed or get screwed…
April 19, 2010 at 4:57 pm
Sounds like fun, just remember … “There’s a dress code at this party.”
http://www.etsy.com/listing/36286150/black-tie-affair-necklace
April 19, 2010 at 4:58 pm
#4 deserves comment of the day!
Too bad we don’t have a rimshot button on this site!
(but you can use this one)
http://www.instantrimshot.com/
April 19, 2010 at 5:03 pm
The crap on the threads really gives it that rustic, vintage char-WHAT IS WRONG WITH PEOPLE?
April 19, 2010 at 5:13 pm
#2 Random Snarker, they’re probably keeping the plank these came out of… it probably has Jesus, Mary, or some random demonic forces making faces at them in it.
I hope these get turned into a necklace titled “Tetanus”.
April 19, 2010 at 5:15 pm
Agree – comment of the day for #4!
The tags for this include “3d Art” and “knitting”. Ok – what am I missing here?
April 19, 2010 at 5:19 pm
Trying not to get too mad…but….WHAT THE FUCK!
However, Cineaste FTW!
April 19, 2010 at 5:20 pm
OK, wait. The photo is kinda great. I mean, why wouldn’t you just sell prints of this photo for $15?
April 19, 2010 at 5:20 pm
I long for the fine craftsmanship of the mid-20th century.
April 19, 2010 at 5:25 pm
the rest of their shop is like a flea market of utter failure
April 19, 2010 at 5:40 pm
Cineaste
I won’t even try to beat that.
Just remember–tack on that extra $2 shipping.
April 19, 2010 at 5:44 pm
Can I get some asbestos to go with that?
April 19, 2010 at 5:58 pm
Are those not Robertson screws?
Requiring a Robertson screwdriver with a square tip.
And a little under 1.5 inches is called 1 & 3/8″.
Duh.
April 19, 2010 at 6:03 pm
Whoa ,the 20 th century- what patina & what a find . Isn’t that when people were like burned at the stake or something?
My fave is her bit on her wand:’the crystals are affixed with quartz glue to further assist the flow of magic….’
April 19, 2010 at 6:05 pm
And to think I had a dumpster full of that stuff this past winter when we renovated the attic. That I had to PAY PEOPLE TO TAKE AWAY. Dammit!
…can I use these multipurpose?
April 19, 2010 at 6:05 pm
Hidden due to low comment rating. Click here to see.
April 19, 2010 at 6:10 pm
#22 bumblepuppy :
I called the disabled guy in (he’s a carpenter) and said, “Do these nails look like they’re from the 1930s?”
He replied, “No, they look like they’re from… uh… THE STORE. I saw a whole bunch of vintage nails today, at Home Depot.”
April 19, 2010 at 6:14 pm
Cineaste, it’s been said before, but I’ll second, third, and etc. it- brilliant
ps- Helen’s commentary also rocked, as always LOL
April 19, 2010 at 6:21 pm
The best part is all that Eames-parabola-sputnik stuff. Gah, I had to live it. To the best of my memory nails and screws looked exactly like they do now. Easily determined by disassembling my house.
April 19, 2010 at 6:27 pm
Son of a BITCH. I could kill myself for throwing out all the junk from my apartment renovation. I could have KILLED on Etsy.
April 19, 2010 at 6:34 pm
I don’t think I would want to put anything that has been sharing a rustic wooden plank with those screws in my ears.
http://www.etsy.com/listing/23415944/mary-di-caprios-earrings—fleur-de-lis
April 19, 2010 at 6:41 pm
Aw, you guys! I can’t tell you how many times I’ve read some of your comments and thought, “Wow, I wish I were even half that clever.” E-validation FTW!
But yeah, my grandparents’ garage is full of “vintage” screws from the 50s, at six for $3 I could make a fortune in no time and buy you all a drink.
April 19, 2010 at 6:42 pm
Damn, I don’t remember the last time I had six screws…
April 19, 2010 at 6:52 pm
Sure, they’re crappy old screws, but the way they’re arranged… so artistic, so mysterious, like crop circles. Kinda makes me want to buy th- WHAT THE FUCK? Someone is screwing with my head!
April 19, 2010 at 6:56 pm
I’m sooo disappointed-exactly what I was looking for, if only they were slightly OVER 1.5″ in length
April 19, 2010 at 7:00 pm
Just you wait, in a few minutes it’ll be SOLD
April 19, 2010 at 7:07 pm
I’m just waiting for the Etsy seller to list the ACTUAL screws used to affix Jesus to the cross.
April 19, 2010 at 7:14 pm
That seller sure has a screw loose!
April 19, 2010 at 7:51 pm
Do I have to pay extra for the lead paint remnants in the thread?
April 19, 2010 at 8:21 pm
#48 ~ Helena, that would be your 1 & 5/8″ screw.
I’ve got a few boxes of them but without the detritus patina. Darn.
April 19, 2010 at 8:49 pm
Cineaste: I know so redundant but Bahahaha So needs to be the of Regretsy comment of the day as for the screws-damn who knew all that shit my Grandpa saved was etsy worthy as “vintage” oh well all of us thought it was just a bunch of crap not a freakin gold mine!
April 19, 2010 at 10:02 pm
I’m really only interested in the plaster/rust/lead paint/asbestos/detritus, how much for just that?
April 19, 2010 at 11:04 pm
All right, that’s it, I’m selling the old nails I have. I have so many of those, for just two bucks a nail I won’t have to worry about those pesky student loans.
April 19, 2010 at 11:07 pm
… SCREW YOU …
April 20, 2010 at 5:13 am
I see she belongs to “Fantasy Artists on Etsy”…people who are artists only in their fantasies maybe???
April 20, 2010 at 5:51 am
Well, I was born in the 1950′s, think of the money I could make if I started offering “Antique Screws” for sale! Of course, I’d definitely want more than $3.00 for my screwing expertise.
April 20, 2010 at 6:39 am
Something screwy must be going on with all the people who put “#4 Cineaste.”
April 20, 2010 at 7:07 am
Thank God they didn’t try to clean or restore them. Ruins the collectible value.
April 20, 2010 at 7:09 am
How many people wanna bet she’s a hoarder living with 16 cats and ‘faerie’ lawn ornaments in the front yard?
April 20, 2010 at 7:15 am
I’m going to need to see a provenance before I invest my money. The screw market is full of forgeries.
April 20, 2010 at 7:25 am
Ooo look at this one. Perfect for that hippie or gansta or rasta weedin..er, wedding.
http://www.etsy.com/listing/38267555/amsterdam-greens-ring-pillow—ooak
April 20, 2010 at 8:05 am
Cineaste really nailed it!!
Ah screw it!!
April 20, 2010 at 8:41 am
#5 Cineaste : +209 and counting! Is that a record?
April 20, 2010 at 9:05 am
What the hell is that yellow build-up on those screw heads? 50 years of smoking will do that.
April 20, 2010 at 9:07 am
I am very afraid of the craft that is destined to come from this “crafting supply”
What does it want to be? A brooche? A pair of tetnus ridden screw-in earrings? An abstract vagina? A statue of the Say What! guy made entirely out of rusty screws?
The mind reels.
April 20, 2010 at 9:14 am
I have nothing snarky or witty to add. All I can utter in complete amazement at this nitwit’s gall is:
PITIFUL
SHAMEFUL
RETARDSY
What an idiot.
April 20, 2010 at 9:15 am
Damn it! They are Philips. I only collect flat drive.
April 20, 2010 at 9:24 am
#69 craftycoug : Think of the magick you could do with hex screws.
April 20, 2010 at 9:28 am
I been selling so hard;
Like a yellowed a note-card?
Buy these. Say what?
Oh, sell me what I got
I get this feeling
That something’s bolting me down
or I’d hit the ceiling
for bein’ a big clown
Tonight I gotta screw
(Chorus)
Loose, screw loose
Kick off your leg warmers
Please, buy these
Pull me off regretsy
Jack, get back
C’mon I need more crack
multipurpose
Everybody cut screw-loose
April 20, 2010 at 9:58 am
But, but, but – what about the nicotine stained screw heads? That has to be worth the additional $2.96, doesn’t it? I mean you can’t easily replicate that anymore!
April 20, 2010 at 10:00 am
Our basement is full of vintage GOLD clearly. We knew hoarding all those spare screws would be worthwhile… along with everything else that’s down there. Nuts, nails, staples, hinges, things we don’t know what they are, resistors, diodes, vacuum tubes…
actually the vacuum tubes are probably the only things worth anything.
April 20, 2010 at 1:20 pm
Use your own envelope and get “CASH FOR SCREWS”
CASH IN ON THE SCREW-RUSH TODAY!!
April 20, 2010 at 6:01 pm
#5 Cineasate – Brilliant!!!! If you don’t get the comment of the day ribbon, I’m going to flounce off angry!
April 23, 2010 at 6:02 pm
Get screwed on Etsy.
May 18, 2010 at 1:03 pm
Quote from the shop:
“Our promise is that everything created in our shoppe will always be composed of 90% or more upcycled busted junk – includes items fished out of the garbage.”
Three observations:
1) Honesty is a decent policy. *Sometimes*!!!
2) People will buy ANYTHING. Just look at eBay. Or Etsy… =(
3) People will SELL anything. (I’d want my 20 cent listing fee back)
January 6, 2011 at 12:21 am
When I see “1950′s Screws” I think Rusty Warren. And while I’m sure she’d be up for six, I have to admit I’d probably be done after two.