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WTF Alchemy Request

87 comments on WTF Alchemy Request

  1. razberries
    April 13, 2010 at 1:35 pm

    don’t know what hurts my eyes more, tara reid or the spelling errors in that request…LOL

    Thumb up Thumb down +56

  2. steviesegel
    April 13, 2010 at 1:35 pm

    *facepalm*

    Thumb up Thumb down +9

  3. Wilma Fingerdoo
    April 13, 2010 at 1:36 pm

    Thank gawd their not breeding.

    Thumb up Thumb down +43

  4. Wilma Fingerdoo
    April 13, 2010 at 1:36 pm

    *they’re*
    duh

    Thumb up Thumb down +35

  5. LeeLooDallas
    April 13, 2010 at 1:39 pm

    Wow – their cat sure has a pretty sophisticated taste in cars!

    Thumb up Thumb down +119

  6. itismemc
    April 13, 2010 at 1:39 pm

    I’ll send George Hamilton over if you double your price.

    Thumb up Thumb down +32

  7. Patty misses the Australian
    April 13, 2010 at 1:40 pm

    I gotta know, what difference does it make if they don’t have kids and don’t plan on having them? Does this have an effect on the intake of “orange items manly”?

    Thumb up Thumb down +42

  8. MajorDanger
    April 13, 2010 at 1:41 pm

    Knock knock!

    Who’s there?!

    Orange!

    Orange who?!

    Orange you glad I don’t know how to spell “realistic,” so that you can mock me relentlessly?

    Thumb up Thumb down +113

  9. hamoza
    April 13, 2010 at 1:41 pm

    Twenty cents? A nice carrot butt plug would fit that bill, both uni-sex , manly & multipurpose, not necessarily custom , but could be hand carved for textural interest.

    Thumb up Thumb down +122

  10. tejasmom
    April 13, 2010 at 1:42 pm

    So now Etsy is a gift idea service? Couldn’t she just ask her girlfriends, or people at work? I also thought she meant mainly orange, not manly, but apparently not.

    Thumb up Thumb down +15

  11. Efit
    April 13, 2010 at 1:42 pm

    When I search “ornage” I get nothing. I dunno. (?)

    Thumb up Thumb down +80

  12. HelenaHandbasket
    April 13, 2010 at 1:44 pm

    Do men like GoLitely? I know I didn’t.

    Thumb up Thumb down +10

  13. bootsychoo
    April 13, 2010 at 1:44 pm

    Wow – a pic of Tara Reid WITHOUT her flashing a nip.
    Miracles DO happen.

    Thumb up Thumb down +12

  14. Wilma Fingerdoo
    April 13, 2010 at 1:45 pm

    Maybe they could make the spell check button orange.

    Thumb up Thumb down +39

  15. MajorDanger
    April 13, 2010 at 1:46 pm

    I really shouldn’t be so harsh.
    Maybe “reolistic” is Canadian.

    Or…well…nevermind.

    Thumb up Thumb down +5

  16. ohsotal
    April 13, 2010 at 1:46 pm

    not nessisarily custom…which means that you could give the pizza earrings?

    Thumb up Thumb down +10

  17. LeeLooDallas
    April 13, 2010 at 1:47 pm

    I’m guessing she’ll get some ideas in the “whatever” category.

    Thumb up Thumb down +5

  18. OneLoomStudio
    April 13, 2010 at 1:48 pm

    What really gets me is their ideal price .20 and that they actually have 9 bids. Something orange manly and definitely not for kids or cats.

    Thumb up Thumb down +4

  19. hamoza
    April 13, 2010 at 1:49 pm

    Isn’t orange the new black?

    Thumb up Thumb down +16

  20. somethinghomemade
    April 13, 2010 at 1:49 pm

    I have a bunch of orange crayons melted to my seat covers. I want new ones anyway, so for $0.20, I’d be willing to cut the spot out, glue it to posterboard and call it art. Will that work?

    Thumb up Thumb down +23

  21. KitCameo
    April 13, 2010 at 1:49 pm

    Voila! Something that is orange and “Reolistic”:
    http://img697.imageshack.us/img697/7136/orangereol.jpg

    fyi, a “Reol” is a race of humanoid aliens from Stargate: http://stargate.wikia.com/wiki/Reol

    Thumb up Thumb down +20

  22. PaintedKitty
    April 13, 2010 at 1:50 pm

    I don’t understand. There are Volkswagens other than Bugs, Busses, and Jettas? Are they ornage too? I feel a 70′s flashback coming on.

    Thumb up Thumb down +19

  23. DucksNew
    April 13, 2010 at 1:51 pm

    #5 LeeLooDallas: My first read through I wondered why it mattered what kind of cars the cat liked.

    And I’m still not at all sure I know what the heck this person is looking for.

    Thumb up Thumb down +20

  24. hamoza
    April 13, 2010 at 1:52 pm

    #21@ PaintedKitty-does that come with a little orange sunshine perhaps?

    Thumb up Thumb down +3

  25. LeeLooDallas
    April 13, 2010 at 1:54 pm

    Maybe the cat will be driving to the post office to pick all the ornage whatevers up.

    Thumb up Thumb down +15

  26. joshpincusiscrying
    April 13, 2010 at 1:56 pm

    For twenty cents, they could just buy an orange.

    Thumb up Thumb down +44

  27. mtopia
    April 13, 2010 at 1:58 pm

    Little known fact: We Canadians absorb vitamin c from orange things. We developed it to avoid contracting the scurvy.

    That said maybe some citrus fruits would be good for your husband. They are inexpensive and they also don’t have to be custom made.

    Thumb up Thumb down +17

  28. mtopia
    April 13, 2010 at 2:00 pm

    @#26 Sorry to bite your style with the oranges. I should have refreshed before commenting. :)

    Thumb up Thumb down +2

  29. Wilma Fingerdoo
    April 13, 2010 at 2:03 pm

    Maybe she could spray paint some orange flames down the side of her cat’s VW.
    That’s manly.

    Thumb up Thumb down +33

  30. WANNA POST ALL NIGHT
    April 13, 2010 at 2:07 pm

    UNISEX =/= MANLY

    Thumb up Thumb down +16

  31. IscreamUscream
    April 13, 2010 at 2:08 pm

    “…anything that’s unisex or manly or whatever”

    The guy sounds a bit ambiguous, or whatever. :?
    A new implant product is just right for his needs…

    Thumb up Thumb down +58

  32. razberries
    April 13, 2010 at 2:11 pm

    Ok, so this isn’t reolistic…

    Thumb up Thumb down +109

  33. hamoza
    April 13, 2010 at 2:12 pm

    #6@itismemc-George Hamilton-bwahahahahaha

    Thumb up Thumb down +6

  34. mtopia
    April 13, 2010 at 2:13 pm

    Raz, I love Orangina!

    Thumb up Thumb down +2

  35. Skully
    April 13, 2010 at 2:13 pm

    @ISUS and Raz: Hilarious!

    Thumb up Thumb down +5

  36. hamoza
    April 13, 2010 at 2:14 pm

    I think I’ve got it- adopt a purrfect orange tabby cat!

    Thumb up Thumb down +6

  37. hamoza
    April 13, 2010 at 2:15 pm

    SKULLY-gee, did you have a bad night or something?

    Thumb up Thumb down 0

  38. Buzzkill To Teenagers
    April 13, 2010 at 2:15 pm

    ISUS and raz – you guys crack me up!

    I was just going to suggest a hunting vest. That’s pretty manly or whatever.

    Thumb up Thumb down +7

  39. Helen Killer
    April 13, 2010 at 2:21 pm

    “Wilma Fingerdoo”. I just got that. After 6 months. File under “derp”.

    Thumb up Thumb down +24

  40. takilasunrise
    April 13, 2010 at 2:25 pm

    #25 Cineaste :
    Something orange men like? She needs to read Regretsy .

    http://www.etsy.com/view_listing.php?listing_id=20340821&ref=sr_gallery_1&&ga_search_query=orange+drive+thru
    *****************************
    I am just SHOCKED that this has NOT sold yet???!!!

    Thumb up Thumb down +3

  41. mergatroid
    April 13, 2010 at 2:30 pm

    Do you think her husband would appreciate a Tangwich? He’s the one who likes orange, right? And the cat, he’s the one who likes cars? I’m so confused…

    Thumb up Thumb down +10

  42. Dix
    April 13, 2010 at 2:34 pm

    Apparently he only likes the boring VW’s. I don’t think anyone gets nostalgic over the Fox or the monstrously underpowered diesel Rabbit.

    Thumb up Thumb down +9

  43. Skully
    April 13, 2010 at 2:35 pm

    Thumb up Thumb down +80

  44. Stretch65
    April 13, 2010 at 2:35 pm

    …to surprise him she should just dye her “carpet” orange. I’m thinking use the same henna Helen used on Mac.

    Thumb up Thumb down +11

  45. mergatroid
    April 13, 2010 at 2:37 pm

    “…we also have a mongoose though, and I think he likes hammer head sharks, yahtzee and monopoly. Every time I google “hammer” I get a barrage of photos of Stanley Kirk Burrell, and there’s no way I can ever sift thru all of those.”

    Thumb up Thumb down +13

  46. sudabaki©
    April 13, 2010 at 2:40 pm

    Where’s HamatoKameko when we need her to set us straight?

    “Also, for the billionth time, “.20″ is what people put when they don’t have a set price limit. They have to put *something*, so they put the default lowest amount as a way of saying “name your price.” I really don’t see why that’s so hard to understand.”

    Thumb up Thumb down +25

  47. IscreamUscream
    April 13, 2010 at 2:43 pm

    @Suda, I suspect HamatoKameko could also set us straight on “unisex or manly or whatever”. :?

    Thumb up Thumb down +14

  48. sudabaki©
    April 13, 2010 at 2:48 pm

    I think I just felt her red thumb.

    Thumb up Thumb down +20

  49. sudabaki©
    April 13, 2010 at 2:49 pm

    I guess it’s better than being fingered.

    Thumb up Thumb down +26

  50. IscreamUscream
    April 13, 2010 at 2:50 pm

    …or Skully’s bathtub of Cheetos :lol:

    Thumb up Thumb down +13

  51. Vile & Evil Debbie Downer
    April 13, 2010 at 2:59 pm

    LOL, Skully – I was thinking a model Karmann Ghia made out of Cheetos.

    Thumb up Thumb down +6

  52. batontwirler1
    April 13, 2010 at 3:07 pm

    The boyfriend is a gemini according to the complete alchemy listing. So I guess he’ll need 2 ornages.

    Thumb up Thumb down +16

  53. Feel Free To Customise and Whimsiclise My Vagina
    April 13, 2010 at 3:14 pm

    well I think this alchemy request is self explanatory:

    Anyone who refers to their husband as “HUBBY” (bech puke vomit) is obviously too stupid and co-dependent to be able to think of anything for herself, let alone gifts for said “HUBBY”

    No wonder he wont breed with her

    Thumb up Thumb down +14

  54. Helen Killer
    April 13, 2010 at 3:19 pm

    @ #55, it’s still not as hateful as “the hubs”.

    Thumb up Thumb down +22

  55. sudabaki©
    April 13, 2010 at 3:26 pm

    I love my hubs, you have all crossed a line! I’m outta here!

    Thumb up Thumb down +28

  56. Patty misses the Australian
    April 13, 2010 at 3:28 pm

    #55 & 56:

    “The Hubster”.

    “My Boo”

    Of course, you can’t take my opinion for things, I refer to mine as “the disabled guy”.

    Thumb up Thumb down +33

  57. thembone
    April 13, 2010 at 3:33 pm

    Aww I like Tara, she amuses me with her sluttery. And to the poster’s credit, people often put a ridiculous small amount when they don’t have a specific price they’re looking for. But that is the ONLY thing to her credit. I have no idea what this request is asking for. I THINK an orange, manly thing, but….I am totally thrown off by the mention of children and VWs. What?

    Thumb up Thumb down +6

  58. Wilma Fingerdoo
    April 13, 2010 at 3:52 pm

    Perhaps a bikini constructed out of Circus Peanuts?

    Thumb up Thumb down +13

  59. IscreamUscream
    April 13, 2010 at 3:56 pm

    Thumb up Thumb down +73

  60. Buzzkill To Teenagers
    April 13, 2010 at 4:06 pm

    Aren’t “hubs” slang for the things that decorate the wheels of cars?

    And if I have to refer to the person to whom I’m married by something other than his name (or “hey, you!”), It will now be “my man-witch” or possibly “spouse”

    Thumb up Thumb down +8

  61. nymbus
    April 13, 2010 at 4:25 pm

    Hmm. Maybe she would be happy with tickets to the Blue Man Group in Holland?

    Thumb up Thumb down +5

  62. IscreamUscream
    April 13, 2010 at 4:27 pm

    @nymbus :lol: I see what you did there.

    Thumb up Thumb down +3

  63. PaintedKitty
    April 13, 2010 at 4:29 pm

    #61 @ISUS

    Look at the orange.
    Now look at me.
    Now look at the orange.
    Now Look at me.
    Don’t you wish your orange were manly like me?
    uh… or don’t you wish your man were orange like me?
    uh…

    Thumb up Thumb down +24

  64. iunifera
    April 13, 2010 at 4:47 pm

    Orange is the new pink.

    Thumb up Thumb down +3

  65. starrydreams
    April 13, 2010 at 4:50 pm

    ISUS & Razzie – you are killing me!!!
    Reading the request is just too overwhelming. 20 cents??? My head is going to explode..

    Thumb up Thumb down +2

  66. dscokween
    April 13, 2010 at 5:01 pm

    This might give her an idea or two about some ‘thing’ she might want to grab.

    http://www.flickr.com/photos/71485133@N00/4519472540/

    Thumb up Thumb down +9

  67. ckinsobe
    April 13, 2010 at 5:11 pm

    I ♥ the photo-shopping today!

    Thumb up Thumb down +7

  68. mergatroid
    April 13, 2010 at 5:19 pm

    I don’t know about all of you, but I know I married my hubcap because he pimped my ride.

    Thumb up Thumb down +13

  69. mtopia
    April 13, 2010 at 5:39 pm

    I’m not married, but if I were: “Mr. Mtopia”

    Thumb up Thumb down +7

  70. WhimsyMistress
    April 13, 2010 at 6:06 pm

    OK, OK, searching “orange (ornage)” is too much, but has she tried searching orange+unisex+whatever+manly + VW-bugs-bus?

    Thumb up Thumb down +21

  71. HermesGoddess
    April 13, 2010 at 6:19 pm

    See, now I thought comment #72 was funny.

    And BTW it had 2 thumbs downs, I gave it a thumbs up, and now we are at an average of -1. So, that mystery is solved. Or whatever.

    Thumb up Thumb down +5

  72. Stretch65
    April 13, 2010 at 7:07 pm

    #51 Wilma Fingerdoo – I JUST GOT IT!!!

    Thumb up Thumb down +8

  73. WhimsyMistress
    April 13, 2010 at 8:37 pm

    HermesGoddess- there were some posts earlier today that had -29 and -39. That’s a lot of thumbs-downing! The r-word Etsians have been busy here today!

    Thumb up Thumb down +4

  74. turnaround
    April 13, 2010 at 9:52 pm

    My dictionary has an orange cover. She’s welcome to have it.

    Thumb up Thumb down +5

  75. dscokween
    April 13, 2010 at 10:18 pm

    @75 – I took your suggestion and searched etsy only to discover this gem:

    http://www.etsy.com/view_listing.php?listing_id=44049558

    and a general web search turned up this gem (surprisingly fitting for his love of cats):

    http://tinyurl.com/y79k72y

    and this thing, which looks like Segway’s ADHD cousin:

    http://gadgets.boingboing.net/uno-04-25-2008.jpg

    Thumb up Thumb down +5

  76. snarkeygirl
    April 13, 2010 at 10:36 pm

    Now that lil boingboing thing is cool! What man wouldn’t want that?! Too bad it isn’t embellished with cats, and made by Volkswagen!

    Thumb up Thumb down +4

  77. FreshFruit
    April 14, 2010 at 12:26 am

    That boingboing thing looks like a frightened… I dunno… fish in a batman mask?? Something.
    Whatever it is, it’s scareprised shitless.
    I lurve the manties though.
    (I’m purposely not commenting on the actual post here. I can’t form a coherent thought about it after reading it. It sucked the smart out of me and made me sleepy)

    Thumb up Thumb down +7

  78. Snark-o-leptic Cesar
    April 14, 2010 at 8:31 am

    She says “We do NOT have kids and have no plans for them”

    GOOD!

    Thumb up Thumb down +3

  79. dicktionary
    April 14, 2010 at 9:29 am

    Just get an orange, it’s the right color, they come in different shapes. it cost about 20 cents and that was the only word that you actually spelled right. Go for it!

    Thumb up Thumb down +3

  80. Mookie
    April 14, 2010 at 9:55 am

    Calm down, CALM DOWN!!!! We get the whole twenty cents thing. But it’s still really fun to make fun of, ok?

    Thumb up Thumb down +7

  81. sticksandtunes
    April 14, 2010 at 3:54 pm

    How about a necktie with a print of Level 4 Cat riding an orange Karmann Ghia?

    (I’ll leave those with real Photoshop skills to work up that image. And it also occurs to me that Zazzle allows you to print ties…I think we might need said tie in the Regretsy shop.)

    Thumb up Thumb down +4

  82. lemonbasil
    April 15, 2010 at 2:39 am

    “I just don’t know where my husband’s love of ornage comes from. He’s a strange guy in some ways. Like he has all these big tattoos and gets real upset when he drops the soap in the shower. He’s really good with cars though. He can even make our VW start without the keys in it!”

    Thumb up Thumb down +6

  83. littlemisspipedream
    April 16, 2010 at 1:13 am

    righto so this lady’s mental, that’s obvious. but WTF? ‘omage’?! ‘m’ and ‘r’ aren’t even CLOSE on the keyboard. she’s barmy.

    Thumb up Thumb down -2

  84. AdornMeJewelry
    April 17, 2010 at 1:38 am

    Tara looks totally reolistic. And somehow better.

    Thumb up Thumb down +1

  85. Squidvicious
    June 28, 2011 at 1:15 pm

    Ornage. It’s carnage with an orange.

    Thumb up Thumb down 0

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