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Button Honey

Posted by Helen Killer

114 comments

If I can’t push your buttons, can I at least burn your sculpture?

Filed in Don't Ask Me 114 comments

114 Comments

Add Comment

Apr 9, 2010
9:32 am

#1 LeeLooDallas :

I would like to push a giant red button that would make this thing blow up.

Rate this comment: +74

Apr 9, 2010
9:36 am

#2 thatdingo :

You cannot push the buttons on your camera.

Rate this comment: +66

Apr 9, 2010
9:38 am

#3 eternalgreenknight :

I thought the wood block was supposed to crap out candy, not buttons!

Kill it with fire! Seriously, Pinnochio would run screaming from this TP-roll-and-button-golem-girl.

Rate this comment: +38

Apr 9, 2010
9:42 am

#4 Efit :

Creep factor on a scale of 1 to 10?

150

Rate this comment: +68

Apr 9, 2010
9:43 am

#5 cappysue :

If crafters could find monsters hiding under their beds this would the leader.

Rate this comment: +120

Apr 9, 2010
9:44 am

#6 Wilma Fingerdoo :

Alice in Blunderland

Rate this comment: +9

Apr 9, 2010
9:45 am

#7 eternalgreenknight :

cappysue, no, this would be the evil thing the leader sends out to kill people.

Rate this comment: +29

Apr 9, 2010
9:46 am

#8 Wilma Fingerdoo :

#3 eternalgreenlight-
Now, I’d hit this with a stick.
But I don’t think I’d want the candy that came out.

Is it me or does the body look like a chicken?

Rate this comment: +14

Apr 9, 2010
9:47 am

#9 Efit :

I know I say this a lot in my comments, but I can’t help saying it again. It’s a compulsion:

WHAT THE FUCK IS WRONG WITH PEOPLE.

Rate this comment: +50

Apr 9, 2010
9:48 am

#10 LeeLooDallas :

If this thing is coming up in Google searches, while my stuff isn’t… I’m going to be pissed!

Rate this comment: +11

Apr 9, 2010
9:48 am

#11 Buzzkill To Teenagers :

Am I the only one who was reminded of the horrible wire mother monkey experiment?

http://gyral.blackshell.com/harlow/fig4.jpg

Rate this comment: +17

Apr 9, 2010
9:48 am

#12 Wilma Fingerdoo :

She looks like a button head Medusa.
I think she just turned me to stone(d).

Rate this comment: +6

Apr 9, 2010
9:49 am

#13 sudabaki© :

Me: What do you think of this doll?

Suda III: I love it!

Me: Really?

Suda III: Yeah, can we buy it?

Me: Why?

Suda III: No, I don’t like it so much, never mind. It’s creepy looking.

Rate this comment: +20

Apr 9, 2010
9:49 am

#14 bootsychoo :

Great – another freakish entity that wants to kill me in my dreams.
Maybe I need a shamanic distance space cleansing…

Rate this comment: +24

Apr 9, 2010
9:50 am

#15 madamedefarge :

A grandma somewhere is missing her tin button box.

Rate this comment: +34

Apr 9, 2010
9:50 am

#16 eternalgreenknight :

#8 Wilma, Why yes, yes it does. Therefore, it MUST have a sweater!

Rate this comment: +6

Apr 9, 2010
9:51 am

#17 sudabaki© :

#14 bootsychoo: It did make me think of the movie Trilogy of Terror. That movie still scares me and this thing is going to re-activate my night terrors.

Rate this comment: +8

Apr 9, 2010
9:55 am

#18 eternalgreenknight :

I wonder if it’s haunted by the spirit of a dead hooker too. All the more reason it would need a sweater.

Rate this comment: +10

Apr 9, 2010
9:57 am

#19 eternalgreenknight :

why, oh why didn’t they use vag buttons and tampon tubes? I mean, that would have at least been classy.

Rate this comment: +3

Apr 9, 2010
10:01 am

#20 Buzzkill To Teenagers :

Even a creepy doll needs some monkey love.

http://www.flickr.com/photos/voxwoman/4505213075/

Rate this comment: +6

Apr 9, 2010
10:02 am

#21 razberries :

Some regretsy math…

http://farm3.static.flickr.com/2715/4505210467_7482668b9a.jpg

Rate this comment: +61

Apr 9, 2010
10:08 am

#22 IscreamUscream :

“You cannot push my buttons”
OK, how about hitting them–repeatedly, with a hammer?

Suda III? What have you done with Suda II? I miss her.

Rate this comment: +9

Apr 9, 2010
10:09 am

#23 Sandra D :

Dear fucking gods that’s ugly.

Rate this comment: +10

Apr 9, 2010
10:11 am

#24 reqbat :

nice try with the blurry photography but we can still see it’s baaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaad.

Rate this comment: +32

Apr 9, 2010
10:12 am

#25 Lexiii :

Looks like something Spencer would make on iCarly.

ya, I know….give me the thumbs down.

Rate this comment: +6

Apr 9, 2010
10:13 am

#26 Patty misses the Australian :

“Alice”? Its named “Alice”?

Don’t name it! That just gives it MORE POWER OVER YOU!!

Rate this comment: +53

Apr 9, 2010
10:16 am

#27 IscreamUscream :

@Raz, you’re very good at math.

Put that on your resume.

Rate this comment: +13

Apr 9, 2010
10:20 am

#28 pottery123 :

OMG…the hours that were spent in the making. and she could have been walking my dog instead.

Rate this comment: +13

Apr 9, 2010
10:23 am

#29 IscreamUscream :

“They are mostly white buttons”
What–is this some statement towards “buttons of color”–or an apology for poor photography skills?

Rate this comment: +18

Apr 9, 2010
10:26 am

#30 leftfoot :

description translation: “wheeeeee drugs!”

Rate this comment: +6

Apr 9, 2010
10:27 am

#31 Snark-o-leptic Cesar :

Is Alice pregnant?

Rate this comment: +4

Apr 9, 2010
10:27 am

#32 pknitty :

back away from the glue gun and keep your hand outta the trash.. I see you rifling for shit to stick to other shit.. I repeat.. back away from the glue gun or things are gonna get snarky..

Rate this comment: +32

Apr 9, 2010
10:30 am

#33 hamoza :

Alien chicken voodoo doll?And for only $ 200.00 including shipping, I can haz nightmares that I get for free already?

Rate this comment: +16

Apr 9, 2010
10:30 am

#34 blondeweezie :

http://www.etsy.com/view_listing.php?ref=vl_other_2&listing_id=42228940

????

Rate this comment: +3

Apr 9, 2010
10:31 am

#35 hamoza :

#32 pknitty-’I repeat , back away from the glue gun’….LMAO

Rate this comment: +5

Apr 9, 2010
10:32 am

#36 emmystump :

Another work of art by this lady:

“This painting is about me and my mother.”

http://www.etsy.com/view_listing.php?listing_id=38364889

wtf?

Rate this comment: +16

Apr 9, 2010
10:36 am

#37 Wilma Fingerdoo :

@Raz-
You are a regretsy mathlete in my book. Fucking brilliant.
There’s way too much crazy going on with this doll to put your finger on it but nailed it.
Beetlejuice. Beetlejuice. Beetlejuice. Did it go away?

Rate this comment: +10

Apr 9, 2010
10:37 am

#38 hamoza :

This button abortion-abomination almost makes me long for the simpler days of smiley face button buckets.. almost.

Rate this comment: +13

Apr 9, 2010
10:39 am

#39 Buzzkill To Teenagers :

http://www.etsy.com/view_listing.php?ref=vl_other_1&listing_id=43688331

are those crabs in the groinal area? Or just plague?

Rate this comment: +6

Apr 9, 2010
10:39 am

#40 blondeweezie :

http://www.etsy.com/view_listing.php?ref=vl_other_2&listing_id=38364889

Her shop is just FULL of delights…

Rate this comment: +2

Apr 9, 2010
10:41 am

#41 Chrisnyc1213 :

This is what Lady Gaga sleeps with at night.

Rate this comment: +10

Apr 9, 2010
10:41 am

#42 Wilma Fingerdoo :

#39 Buzzkill To Teenagers-
No.
Those are scars from her Kawaii style nails.

Rate this comment: +10

Apr 9, 2010
10:41 am

#43 blondeweezie :

http://www.etsy.com/view_listing.php?ref=vl_other_2&listing_id=27099305

MAKE IT STOP!!!

Rate this comment: +4

Apr 9, 2010
10:43 am

#44 blondeweezie :

Finny that she says to herself about her art “This is what you were meant to do.” Um, I think you’d be better off doing something else.

Rate this comment: +4

Apr 9, 2010
10:43 am

#45 hamoza :

#39 Buzzkill, plague. After touring through that hell of a shop, I think the whole thing is plagued.

Rate this comment: +9

Apr 9, 2010
10:43 am

#46 blondeweezie :

FUNNY. Dammit. I need another coffee.

Rate this comment: +1

Apr 9, 2010
10:45 am

#47 Wilma Fingerdoo :

#42 blondeweezie-
I actually would buy that. Seriously.
It would be a perfect bridal shower gift. Wrapped anonymously, with no card… I love doing that.
Come to think of it, this doll would be great for that too… only for a baby shower. If only it weren’t 150 dollars for cardboard, wood, and buttons.

Rate this comment: +11

Apr 9, 2010
10:46 am

#48 hamoza :

Doesn’t this woman have at least one trusted person in her life who’d be honest enough & just tell her to fucking give it up, & maybe take up tatting ?

Rate this comment: +13

Apr 9, 2010
10:48 am

#49 joshpincusiscrying :

I’d buy only because I recognize the button on the right shoulder as one that’s missing from my favorite dress shirt. Who do I write the check to?

Rate this comment: +23

Apr 9, 2010
10:55 am

#50 Buzzkill To Teenagers :

#42 Wilma – BWAHAHAHAHAHA

Rate this comment: +3

Apr 9, 2010
11:01 am

#51 blondeweezie :

#48 hamoza :
Doesn’t this woman have at least one trusted person in her life who’d be honest enough & just tell her to fucking give it up, & maybe take up tatting ?
~~~~~~~
From the angry smirk on her profile, I don’t think I would take that chance, either.

Rate this comment: +8

Apr 9, 2010
11:05 am

#52 craftycoug :

Yet another example of when you ask the question, “WHY?! OH FOR THE LOVE OF GOD, WHY?!?!?” the answer is always, “why not?”

…….

Rate this comment: +2

Apr 9, 2010
11:13 am

#53 knitvincible :

“My neighbor wears a wig that she has sewen to her head”
Wow, just wow.

From this listing – http://www.etsy.com/view_listing.php?listing_id=39084710

Rate this comment: +7

Apr 9, 2010
11:14 am

#54 3InReverse :

Adequate evidence that glue guns should be registered.

Rate this comment: +22

Apr 9, 2010
11:14 am

#55 MajorDanger :

$150? If I’m paying that kind of dough, that shit better be haunted.

Rate this comment: +21

Apr 9, 2010
11:15 am

#56 hamoza :

She mentions Picasso in her bio. Yeah right.
Some kind of hormone replacement is needed up in here asap.

Rate this comment: +9

Apr 9, 2010
11:17 am

#57 Dix :

OMG–I totally thought that was a corpse converted to adipocere. I’m not kidding.

Rate this comment: +14

Apr 9, 2010
11:18 am

#58 blondeweezie :

from the bio… I like working with clay and painting. Yesterday a friend and I went to a museum that has a lot of Picasso’s. They had a drawing Picasso did three years before his death and he drew himself as a young man. They said he was alway in the game and he never thought of himself as an old man.

… With that kind of incoherent statement, methinks she should ventilate her studio.

Rate this comment: +10

Apr 9, 2010
11:24 am

#59 nymbus :

Ah Regretsy: where white elephant gifts come to die.

Rate this comment: +14

Apr 9, 2010
11:29 am

#60 Vile & Evil Debbie Downer :

ATTACK OF THE 50FT BUTTON MONSTER

Rate this comment: +66

Apr 9, 2010
11:36 am

#61 Snark-o-leptic Cesar :

Awwwwwww! Its got a cute little button nose!

Rate this comment: +17

Apr 9, 2010
11:38 am

#62 hamoza :

#61 snark-o- awwww, BWAHAHAHA

Rate this comment: +6

Apr 9, 2010
11:41 am

#63 Wilma Fingerdoo :

#55 majordanger-
She IS haunted.
Poor thing is haunted that as soon as you take her out of the box, she will be reduced to a mound of shit on your kitchen floor.
She will keep you up at night too. Picking up all those buttons that roll around your house when that toilet paper arm gives will be a bitch of a job.

Rate this comment: +5

Apr 9, 2010
12:09 pm

#64 takilasunrise :

Please don’t sell, please don’t sell! I’m serious, I am going to start making crap and sell it for $150.00! What the hell am I doing wrong???

Rate this comment: +1

Apr 9, 2010
12:10 pm

#65 takilasunrise :

Plus………I’m surprised she doesn’t have boobs on this like everything else in her shop!

Rate this comment: +5

Apr 9, 2010
12:14 pm

#66 IscreamUscream :

VEDD

awesome!

http://farm5.static.flickr.com/4068/4505489597_4e66c9dff3_o.jpg

mine doesn’t scale well–apologs.

Rate this comment: +24

Apr 9, 2010
12:15 pm

#67 SuperSnark :

VEDD Awesome!

Now I have to run sceaming to the booze to try and erase this from my minds eye.

*mental note* purchase clothing with only zippers from now on!

Rate this comment: +4

Apr 9, 2010
12:16 pm

#68 eternalgreenknight :

#65, I thought that’s what the buttons represented, but if that’s not enough for you it does appears to be touching itself.

Rate this comment: +5

Apr 9, 2010
12:17 pm

#69 SuperSnark :

ISUS: Alice has taken control of our minds in a demetned mind button meld to post the same comment at the same! time Bhahahahahah

Rate this comment: +5

Apr 9, 2010
12:20 pm

#70 hamoza :

SRSLY, if I was nutsy enough to bring this into the house, my intelligent & acutely instinctive cats & dog would tear this monstrosity to shreds.

Rate this comment: +5

Apr 9, 2010
12:30 pm

#71 spandy :

The feet ~ I want to see the feet! How does this block of wood on cardboard roll legs stand up?

Actually, I don’t even care.
Except that it is a waste of perls.

Rate this comment: +4

Apr 9, 2010
12:39 pm

#72 IscreamUscream :

@supersnark–at least you didn’t picture my same “button country” image; I’d pity you then.

Rate this comment: +3

Apr 9, 2010
12:42 pm

#73 jeffreyrcarey :

OMG, that thing is f-ing butt ugly.

Rate this comment: +3

Apr 9, 2010
12:44 pm

#74 HelenaHandbasket :

Mayhaps as way of excuse for her abomination of handicraft, her profile photo seems to show she has one ginky eye.

Rate this comment: +7

Apr 9, 2010
12:44 pm

#75 kirstenrana :

When making weird and disturbingly bad shit is recognized as an addiction, we will see this lady on “Intervention”. There is a lot of denial happening here…

Rate this comment: +5

Apr 9, 2010
12:45 pm

#76 hamoza :

Bury that shit & repeat:Alice doesn’t live here,there
or anywhere any longer.

Rate this comment: +5

Apr 9, 2010
12:46 pm

#77 LadyGrey :

#2 thatdingo :
You cannot push the buttons on your camera.

BWAHHAHAHAHAHAHAAAAAAA

Rate this comment: +5

Apr 9, 2010
12:53 pm

#78 Bratfink :

I think it’s wonderful that the handicapped are finding work.

Rate this comment: +2

Apr 9, 2010
12:55 pm

#79 spandy :

What I learned on Regretsy today
~ adipocere – ew!

and Hayward fault – yikes.
Thanks guys, my day is complete.

Rate this comment: +4

Apr 9, 2010
1:05 pm

#80 palJacky :

“”It would be a perfect bridal shower gift. Wrapped anonymously, with no card… I love doing that.
“”
I just stick to things one can buy over the counter, like a bottle of RID.

Hasn’t alice been through enough?
I thought the Tim burton film was horrible.

Rate this comment: +4

Apr 9, 2010
1:20 pm

#81 blondeweezie :

#74 HelenaHandbasket :
Mayhaps as way of excuse for her abomination of handicraft, her profile photo seems to show she has one ginky eye.
~~~~~
“The Wonk Eyed Boob Lady.” I bet that’s what the terrified neighbor kids call her.

Rate this comment: +5

Apr 9, 2010
1:29 pm

#82 aimeel :

Alice doesn’t live here anymore…

Rate this comment: +3

Apr 9, 2010
1:36 pm

#83 Dynomoose :

I like it

Rate this comment: +1

Apr 9, 2010
2:12 pm

#84 TooManyCookbooks :

I never thought I could reconsider my button collection, but now I’m a little afraid of peeking into one of the storage boxes and seeing that it’s turned into this.

Rate this comment: +5

Apr 9, 2010
2:17 pm

#85 fame4crap :

Unless my computer is broken, I don’t do housework…
However, this does slightly motivate me to clean out my junk draw and get ziggy with glue.

Rate this comment: +5

Apr 9, 2010
2:23 pm

#86 bellum :

The movie “Coraline” gave my daughter nightmares- she would never sleep again if she saw this. (The girl in the movie goes to see her “other mother” who has buttons for eyes and turns into a spidery-evil abomination. My husband picked it!)

Rate this comment: +4

Apr 9, 2010
2:29 pm

#87 mickey :

What a waste of some beautiful buttons!

Rate this comment: +6

Apr 9, 2010
2:39 pm

#88 Mrs.Vagoo :

Reminded me of this:

http://www.aquateencentral.com/epguide/images/screenshots/totalrecarl/full/totalrecarl04.jpg

which also gave me bad dreams.

Rate this comment: +5

Apr 9, 2010
2:41 pm

#89 Stretch65 :

REMEMBER ONLY USE THIS GLUE IN A WELL VENTILATED AREA
$150 for toliet paper tubes , buttons and rhinestones. Not even Svorsky crystals?!!

“Waiter I’ll have some of what the seller is having – because its obviously blown their mind!!”

Rate this comment: +3

Apr 9, 2010
3:14 pm

#90 WhimsyMistress :

First, a side note: I wish Wordpress kept separate track of a comment’s thumbs-ups and thumbs-downs, instead of just averaging them. I’d like to see if some comments are very polarizing (i.e. 50 ups and 50 downs, for an average of 0), or just so boring no one cared (also giving a score fo 0).

That said….. I just really hope this poor woman doesn’t have children. She obviously has TONS of issues left over from her childhood.

Rate this comment: +4

Apr 9, 2010
3:21 pm

#91 Vile & Evil Debbie Downer :

Alice was made by a rebellious Amish lady.

Rate this comment: +7

Apr 9, 2010
3:50 pm

#92 Snark-o-leptic Cesar :

#90 WhimsyMistress – I agree.

The thumbs-down activity is fascinating.

If I take the time to insult (or impress) people I would at least like to know how many.

Rate this comment: +6

Apr 9, 2010
4:02 pm

#93 HomeAlone :

why do I get the feeling it wouldn’t be hard at all to push this artist’s buttons? I bet she has a lot of easy triggers.

And I don’t think cardboard paper rolls are archival.

Rate this comment: +8

Apr 9, 2010
4:07 pm

#94 FootofCanal :

Someones bottle of antipsychotics is empty.

Rate this comment: +6

Apr 9, 2010
4:21 pm

#95 redredred :

This is the kind of thing nightmares are made of. And why name it? That’s just even worse. It’s like the crafty version of Frankenstein’s monster.

Rate this comment: +4

Apr 9, 2010
5:12 pm

#96 raven :

I could totally use this as a scarecrow!!!! Kind of love it but a bit pricey!

Rate this comment: +3

Apr 9, 2010
5:26 pm

#97 HermesGoddess :

My favorite quote from this seller: “The figure in the background is critical making her very freighten”; this comes from the listing for the painting of the naked fat creature (female human??).

Button Hellmonster is just one manifestation of this woman’s serious mental disturbance, in my personal opinion.

Rate this comment: +4

Apr 9, 2010
6:16 pm

#98 janncri :

She’s like one of those people you kind of feel sorry for but you’re also a little scared of…

Rate this comment: +5

Apr 9, 2010
6:19 pm

#99 batontwirler1 :

Alice kind of reminds me of Norman Bates’ mother.

Rate this comment: +3

Apr 9, 2010
6:27 pm

#100 gobo :

Did anyone see that movie, Otisanek, AKA Little Otik, by Jan Svankmajer? It’s about this tree baby that eats people…

…so if the evil tree baby got it on with the evil button mama from Coraline, I imagine their devil spawn would look something like this…

Rate this comment: +5

Apr 9, 2010
6:29 pm

#101 gobo :

http://farm1.static.flickr.com/124/417949404_025dfde9bb_o.jpg

I haven’t quite figured out the photo posting, but if this works, this is Little Otik, for those of you who need a visual.

Rate this comment: +5

Apr 9, 2010
6:36 pm

#102 jinjerbrandy :

holy crap, whatever it is, don’t let it invade! This reminds me of ET after he has been tarred and buttoned.

I just feel the inexplicable need to remove the buttons. Is that wrong?

Rate this comment: +7

Apr 9, 2010
7:09 pm

#103 hamoza :

#102 jingerbrandy~ tarred & buttoned-bwa hahahha-that should be coined as a crafting term!

Rate this comment: +8

Apr 9, 2010
8:26 pm

#104 Monstrosa :

Everything in this shop looks like it’s just waiting to kill you in your sleep.

Rate this comment: +12

Apr 9, 2010
11:20 pm

#105 IscreamUscream :

@monstrosa–right, there’s something real underbelly to that whole shop.

Rate this comment: +3

Apr 10, 2010
3:03 pm

#106 WhimsyMistress :

“http://farm1.static.flickr.com/124/417949404_025dfde9bb_o.jpg

I haven’t quite figured out the photo posting, but if this works, this is Little Otik, for those of you who need a visual. ”

OMG the tree baby has a tree penis- literally, a woody.

Rate this comment: +4

Apr 10, 2010
3:04 pm

#107 WhimsyMistress :

Oh skants. I just used the word literally in a non-ironic fashion. Somebody shoot me, quick.

Rate this comment: +4

Apr 10, 2010
6:13 pm

#108 www.bajunajewelry.etsy.com :

It looks like ET met mean a craft lady with a Buttoneer!

Rate this comment: +1

Apr 10, 2010
6:19 pm

#109 www.bajunajewelry.etsy.com :

This is what will happen to YOU if you mess around with my crafts!

Rate this comment: +2

Apr 11, 2010
3:04 pm

#110 mtopia :

@#107 “Oh skants.” Possibly the best expletive ever.

Rate this comment: 0

Apr 12, 2010
6:24 am

#111 thejazzcat :

I see millenia old human remains dug up from some Aztec grave here…
Disturbing.

Rate this comment: 0

Apr 12, 2010
10:46 am

#112 HermesGoddess :

#101, either Little Otik has quite a large, um, otik or he’s just really happy to see me. Either way, that’s some scary wood.

Rate this comment: +2

Apr 14, 2010
8:10 am

#113 Jonathan :

“The International cost will be calculated after it’s packed and weighted [and sent to the bottom of the ocean].”

Rate this comment: +1

Apr 17, 2010
10:20 am

#114 MarieO :

I can’t believe nobody had commented on her right hand, with her finger in her…button hole. :-/

Rate this comment: 0