Nice Basket
Sorry to shit in your Peeps, but I’m not going to be able to post any book cover contest entries today.
There are just so many of them, and they are all so huge, and they have to be re-sized and linked and uploaded and rubbed with garlic and rosemary and slow roasted to a golden brown. And I just can’t do it all. Not today, where there is so much candy to be eaten.
Tomorrow morning I’ll post everything all at once, and you can marvel at the rampant insanity of your fellow human beings.
But for now, bow your head and look down at that giant slab of ham on your plate; glazed over like your eyes during this morning’s sermon. Or, if you’re Jewish, go look for the afikoman, which is probably still under the “Next Year in Jerusalem” candy dish.
Either way, you have plenty to do today, so get off the internet and go think about religion.
April 4, 2010 at 2:08 pm
I hope I can sleep tonight!
April 4, 2010 at 2:08 pm
Ham? I had pizza for Easter lunch. It was good too.
April 4, 2010 at 2:09 pm
goddamned zombie jesus.
nah, I understand
I’ve been tie dyed with robin’s eggs.
April 4, 2010 at 2:11 pm
by the way, did you take that picture inside my house while I was eating bacon this morning? That’s the EXACT color of my walls and wood floors.
April 4, 2010 at 2:11 pm
Captain, we’re having chili for dinner tonight.
But I’d be up for some garlicky and rosemary fuckery.
April 4, 2010 at 2:14 pm
Awww…the poncho chick is too cute in that basket!
Yeah–happy “excuse to eat lots of food”
April 4, 2010 at 2:18 pm
Say what?
April 4, 2010 at 2:23 pm
So thats where Willie hides his stash.
I swear I saw a virgin in the leftover matzoh I ate last night,or better still maybe it was a penis. Either way , I’m hankering for more.
April 4, 2010 at 2:25 pm
It’s all craptastic!! Happy Easter everyone!!!
April 4, 2010 at 2:35 pm
Sorry to admit, I am one of the numb-nuts repeat offenders that can’t seem to size a file right…I can’t wait to see all of the entries tomorrow
Hope you all enjoy the rest of your day- it’s beautiful on the east coast!
April 4, 2010 at 2:58 pm
Can you ever have too much regretsy shit? Say What?
April 4, 2010 at 2:58 pm
Been eating since 7AM…skants no longer fit…going to pass out now…
April 4, 2010 at 3:10 pm
That’s ok, all my Jewish children are still passed out drunk from our belated Passover Seder. So they wouldn’t be able to enjoy the book covers anyway.
April 4, 2010 at 3:15 pm
seriously, the thumbdowners need a history lesson in Regretsybonics.
April 4, 2010 at 3:28 pm
Turkey in the oven, kids elsewhere, slept in and it’s all gross and gray outside, so the options are either internet fuckery or actually doing something productive, which is simply crazy talk.
I shall be on tenterhooks waiting for the flood of insanity.
April 4, 2010 at 3:41 pm
AWwwww, ‘aight.
I refuse to think about religion another second, but I will go find my waist high rubber boots,to be ready
for the great fuckery flood tomorrow.
April 4, 2010 at 3:43 pm
Chocolate madness and sugar-coma inducing Peeps overrule contests anyway.
April 4, 2010 at 3:52 pm
Thank you thumbsuppers.
April 4, 2010 at 3:54 pm
The Regretsy Bunny is coming tomorrow, bringing whimsicle fuckery for all the good boys and girls.
Guess we’re all not getting any, eh?
April 4, 2010 at 4:02 pm
There was back bacon on my Easter eggs benedict. Almost ham.
See you all tomorrow for some whim(b)sicle dust-coverage!
Happy Pagan Fertility Ritual!
April 4, 2010 at 4:40 pm
Hey! I only logged on and looked a dozen times yesterday, and only 4 times today.
That’s not obsessing, is it?
April 4, 2010 at 5:14 pm
@#21 iunifera, I am permanently logged in. I feel you.
April 4, 2010 at 5:35 pm
Where are the chicken legs from a few days ago?
April 4, 2010 at 6:26 pm
I mentioned that Jesus was the original zombie today at dinner. I think my mother-in-law really hates me now.
April 4, 2010 at 6:33 pm
The only thing missing from our Easter celebration is a bloody lamb cake to slaughter in front of the children.
April 4, 2010 at 7:05 pm
I humbly submit my novice photoshop fuckery, with wishes for a most non-regrettable Easter!
http://s762.photobucket.com/albums/xx264/iunifera/?action=view¤t=MittensBunny.png
(Is this competely tasteless? I can never tell)
April 4, 2010 at 7:10 pm
Ned- it takes a lot to offend most of us
April 4, 2010 at 7:21 pm
Ned, that is the effingawesomesauce
April 4, 2010 at 7:36 pm
#26 Ned – You did good. Real good.
Now I know how the mittens got to be red.
April 4, 2010 at 8:28 pm
We did EastOver–a cross between Easter and Passover. Ham and a Lamb! That was enough religion for a while, now I need my regretsy fix!
April 4, 2010 at 8:43 pm
#24 nitebyrd, You’re my in-law hero!
April 4, 2010 at 10:08 pm
I’m gonna d/l all the entries and cover every last one of my books. This should take about a week.
April 5, 2010 at 7:48 am
I think I spotted Jesus and the Virgin Mary in a piece of matzah.
I’m saved or damned.
Whatever.
April 5, 2010 at 8:18 am
I have my cup of coffee. I have my water. I have my breakfast and cellphone and finger hovering over F5 key…
I’m ready for the dusty covery fuckery!
April 5, 2010 at 8:28 am
@#33 joshpincusiscrying-
You are saved by the “matzah technicality”.
You aren’t a Christian but Jesus and Mary weren’t either.
April 5, 2010 at 8:49 am
Ah Easter, the day we color aborted chicken fetuses to celebrate a Jewish zombie by who died for sins brought on by a naked broad who ate an apple because a magical snake told her to.
April 5, 2010 at 9:16 am
as usual, HK, you made me giggle. Happy Easter!
April 5, 2010 at 9:34 am
@#33 Josh and #35 Snark: The Matzah Technicality was the inspiration for The Village People’s song “Matzah Man.”
April 5, 2010 at 9:39 am
It’s NOON here on the east coast…the anticipation is KILLING me!
April 5, 2010 at 9:45 am
#38 iunifera: Time doesn’t matter, the anticipation was killing me yesterday and I’m on the west coast.
April 5, 2010 at 9:50 am
Maybe one of us will die of anxiety and be reborn..nah its been done.
April 5, 2010 at 9:52 am
Bring on the whimbsicle covery!
April 5, 2010 at 9:52 am
this keeps playing over in my head
http://i42.tinypic.com/254yds2.jpg
(I should have shopped HK’s head on top.)
April 5, 2010 at 9:57 am
I came here to check–even before my first coffee.
If you know me, that’s unusual.
April 5, 2010 at 10:00 am
She’s really earning the killer part of Helen Killer.
April 5, 2010 at 10:05 am
i’ve been on the edge of fuckery exploderation for 24 hours now. i think it’s valium time! lol
April 5, 2010 at 10:06 am
Fuckery, fuckery, fuckery! My husband has been laughing at me all weekend, every time I check and recheck for the cover winners.
April 5, 2010 at 10:14 am
Wow, the center for seismic activity says we had an earthquake on the left coast Sunday-little did they know it was a pre-fuckery exploderation!
April 5, 2010 at 10:35 am
It’s past lunchtime, and I am hungry. Hungry for fuckery.
April 5, 2010 at 10:36 am
You might even say I’ve got a fever…
April 5, 2010 at 10:38 am
@pantsmonkey – A fever for the flavor of fuckery?
April 5, 2010 at 10:50 am
awww. someone doesn’t remember the old pringles commercial.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Z00x4nX3Bww
April 5, 2010 at 10:53 am
Anticipation….
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gq_5QZDpY1Y
April 5, 2010 at 10:57 am
replace “beef” with “fuckery” and “wendy’s” with “regretsy”.
April 5, 2010 at 10:57 am
shit
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aISkVvi5iI8
April 5, 2010 at 11:06 am
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dU7nG3KvZDA
April 5, 2010 at 11:11 am
@sudabaki – http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_U5HpeA_WSo ?
April 5, 2010 at 11:21 am
Leftfood, that’s perfect.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iOl2wp__yfc
April 5, 2010 at 11:27 am
Sudabaki – that’s awesome
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sT0g16_LQaQ
April 5, 2010 at 11:30 am
Luv the music y’all.
Anyhoooo, I read the char marks on the afikomen matzoh, looking for clues as to the appearance , or should I say first coming of the Whimbsicle Fuckery Flood,….
I think it says it’ll happen : ‘Next Year in Jerusalem’
April 5, 2010 at 11:32 am
I hope we don’t piss Helen off. I need to do something to pass the time and I don’t smoke.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ErvgV4P6Fzc
April 5, 2010 at 11:33 am
God forbid I should do something productive.
April 5, 2010 at 11:36 am
Productive-schmucktive! If anyone gives you shit, just tell them you are “broadening your cultural understanding and tolerence.”
April 5, 2010 at 11:36 am
The skanticipation is killing me!
April 5, 2010 at 11:42 am
I’m in the middle of sud and pantsmonkey. What The HELL”S BELLS. It is almost like she is signing books and selling them and shit.
April 5, 2010 at 11:45 am
It’s almost time for me to stand outside and feed the birds. If i wait any longer they will be slamming into my large bay window.
April 5, 2010 at 11:49 am
Like the basket case helen. The cross is my fave.
I have eaten pig,had an exceptional family get-together argument,slept in while my other half went to Church to give the Sermon, brushed peep shit off me and now I need to see those covers.
April 5, 2010 at 12:00 pm
is the mounted grandma yeti cooter hiding in the grass in the bottom? i sure hope so
April 5, 2010 at 6:13 pm
#28 VagooBlingTM
*sniff* that’s the first time anyone here called me “awesomesauce.” I’m touched.
“You like me, you reeeealy like me!”
OK, I’ll stop being gay, now.