Borders Without Doctors
As you know, I’m doing a book signing at Borders in Glendale next Tuesday, the day the book comes out! The whole thing is getting more exciting every day!
No really.
Which leads me to this.
These are the embroidered panty liner bookmarks made by Hi Bird that I’m giving away to the first 50 people to get their Regretsy book signed next Tuesday at Borders.
I’m stunned by how amazing they are. I couldn’t speak for several long minutes when I opened the box.
To put the icing on the urinal cake, some of the artists featured in the book are coming to the signing!
In addition to Oh Boy Cat Toy and Creepy Dolls, we will also have a visit from Soapy Ho, who may or may not be wearing a penis costume. And there is also a chance that the hummingbird hat man will be making his way from out of state, so that should be even more fantastic. I would probably cry if he wore the helmet. But let’s not ask for the moon when we have the stars.
And when I say stars, I mean it. Because Morgan from Slightly Curious will be in attendance, and she is bringing this dude.
So that should answer all your questions.
About everything.
OMG CONTEST REMINDER
The book cover contest is closing today! This is the last day to get your Regretsy book cover design submitted, and win valuable, pants-filling prizes!
Here’s the dish on the contest, the prizes and how to enter. There’s still time!
I have received some ass kicking entries so far, let me tell you. Amazing, painstaking work. It’s this kind of serious attention to detail that can only mean one thing.
Many of you are unemployed.
UPDATE: REGRETSY TROPHY IN THE NEWS! EARLY REPORTS INDICATE 4/2/10 SLOWEST NEWS DAY IN HISTORY
April 2, 2010 at 9:39 am
…Are they sticky?
April 2, 2010 at 9:42 am
I so want a panty liner!
But I’m on the other side of the world.
April 2, 2010 at 10:06 am
Those bookmarks are really, really cool. I hope she starts offering them on Etsy.
April 2, 2010 at 10:06 am
Soapy definitely should wear a penis costume. And if she does, there needs to be pictures. I would totally drop by if I wasn’t 3,000 miles away
April 2, 2010 at 10:11 am
God, I wish I still lived in Southern Cal for this!!
April 2, 2010 at 10:11 am
Agreed! Those pantyliner bookmarks had better become widely available, or my Cryabeetus will kick in and I’ll start yelling about geographical discrimination!
April 2, 2010 at 10:12 am
I would DIE to have my signed Regretsy book, but unfurtunatedly my aunt died yesterday and I have to go to the funeral in ALASKA! Darn it auntie!
April 2, 2010 at 10:12 am
The bookmarks are just totally cool but I’m so bummed I won’t get a chance to see “Url” in person! Damn!
April 2, 2010 at 10:12 am
bwha ha ha, those liners are so cool!
bummer i live on the east coast
yes, there must be pics of soapy in a penis costume- i wonder if she bought the squirting penis one that was featured here?
April 2, 2010 at 10:15 am
OK, so I’m only about 2,000 miles away, & I’d totally do the drive, but unless you’ve arranged babysitting services, I can’t afford the therapy bills if I drag my 7yo son along…
April 2, 2010 at 10:25 am
Give my best to Oh Boy & SoapyHo….2 of my favorites.
April 2, 2010 at 10:28 am
I am crestfallen that I am trapped in the hills of Vermont for this entire event.
April 2, 2010 at 10:32 am
“Many of you are unemployed.” Luckily I’m not exactly unemployed, but I sure had to take a cut in pay and don’t get me started on the IRS… Which is why I’m crossing my fingers, hoping to place in the contest. I neeeeeeedd crraaaaaaapppppft suupppplies!!!!! (preferrably ones I don’t have to steal)
April 2, 2010 at 10:33 am
I am SO bummed that I can’t make it, but at least Soapy Ho will be bringing my lucky googly eye as my representative.
April 2, 2010 at 10:33 am
Sorry about your Aunt #7 arantxahs.
I would buy one of these.
April 2, 2010 at 10:33 am
The bookmark that is. I would buy one.
April 2, 2010 at 10:37 am
She does have this bookmark in her shop. I laughed like a hyena when I saw it last night.
April 2, 2010 at 10:35 am
And I 18th the vote for regretsy panty liner bookmarks for sale.
April 2, 2010 at 10:44 am
I will be bringing my camera and tripod Tuesday and hope to capture the event totally coated in AWESOMESAUCE!!!
April 2, 2010 at 10:47 am
#18 Helen Killer – I convo’ed her begging, pleading and offering favors from the far east to put the regretsy specific ones up for sale, but I will buy the “absorbed” ones if she can’t.
April 2, 2010 at 10:49 am
Maybe it is a slow news day, but how dare they call that trophy ridiculous and ugly. Clearly shows they are not “in the know”
April 2, 2010 at 10:55 am
That is a goddamned awesome bookmark. I want one!
April 2, 2010 at 11:04 am
I cant wait until tuesday! see you there
April 2, 2010 at 11:05 am
OMG, I think that’s my pantyliner brand! She didn’t skimp on cheap, drugstore knock-offs, either, these are the top-of-the-line, dri-weave cover, baking soda odor control and everything! I can’t attend to grab one of these up, but I can only imagine the looks of envy when you open your book on the subway to reveal one of these babies…
April 2, 2010 at 11:24 am
How cool are those bookmarks!!!!
Wish I could make the signing but it’s not meant to be!!
Looking forward to lots of pics!!!
April 2, 2010 at 11:24 am
“A girl being held by a bear” says the news article.
Held. Yeah. Say what?!
April 2, 2010 at 11:25 am
Another party I will miss…
I do believe you may have found a way to keep bookmarks from being stolen, unless of course a fan of regretsy steals it. I want one!
April 2, 2010 at 11:28 am
by the way- i have a super duper mega uber phobia of dead fish so I am *totally* looking forward to hanging out with Morgan’s fish guy. (NOT!) hahahahahhahahahahaha
April 2, 2010 at 11:30 am
“…Many of you are unemployed.”
kinda, sorta. Or we just enjoy popping the cryabeetus balloon.
A friend has inspired me to collaborate on a cover after all. I do hope it offends…somebody.
April 2, 2010 at 11:51 am
mistletoe: I thought the held by a bear was pretty funny too, I guess putting being sexually gratified by bear would have been too much for their readers’ delicate sensibiltites, agter all they thing this fabulous trophy is ugly-ha no taste at all!
April 2, 2010 at 11:53 am
Those bookmarks are beyond awesome!
I look forward to living vicariously through those of you who get to go… so make sure you take lots of pictures for those of us too far away to attend.
April 2, 2010 at 12:06 pm
oh those are to freaking awesome they look so cute I would love to use one for a book club book
April 2, 2010 at 1:02 pm
Went to HIBird’s shop to look at the awesome pantyliners; ended up buying embroidered Obama and Clinton toilet paper for my folks (die-hard Republicans). They will LVOE it!
April 2, 2010 at 1:18 pm
Can you offer the bookmarks as part of one of your fund raising events for the next charity perhaps? I needs it, I wants it . . . it’s precious
April 2, 2010 at 1:25 pm
Ohh, I wish I were going. That sounds like more epic than Borders can contain.
I did, however, preorder the Regretsy book as a birthday present to myself!
April 2, 2010 at 1:27 pm
“Many of you are unemployed”. Nope. I’m at work right now, wishing I had that bookmark for my desk. Or the trophy. I would put that thing on the top shelf in my cubicle right next to the red stapler.
April 2, 2010 at 1:50 pm
Oh I’ll be there alright.
With a hardness.
April 2, 2010 at 3:07 pm
I’m am unemployed, but I’m also a student. I doubt that I will be able to finish my KNITTED REGRETSY CAT (about which I am sad, but I will send it in person to Helen if she wants it). I made the pattern myself, and it would be the right size for dishcloths if anyone is interested.
April 2, 2010 at 3:26 pm
The thing that saddens me the most about missing the book signing is not the event or getting to see April, but the fact that I won’t get my hands on one of those embroidered panty liners. Such a shame.
April 2, 2010 at 4:08 pm
I’ve got to add a few more turds and then I can scan my cover art…
April 2, 2010 at 5:12 pm
I sent in my entry last night. I have done all I can; poured my heart, soul, blood, sweat and tears into it. I just hope it pleases the Whimsicle Gods.
April 2, 2010 at 6:56 pm
Alas, so near to me this event , yet so far.
I’ll need a bumper sticker:I’d rather be having a Regretsy affair’
April 2, 2010 at 7:15 pm
WOW is all I can say. So many questions about pantiliners.. No, they are not sticky, Yes they are the good kind. YES I have permission to sell them on the site. They will be up for sale on 3 April! So come on over to HiBird and you too can have your very own “Regretsy” panti liner bookmark. Thank you! I’ve cried so hard, no where did that panti liner go. . . giggle
April 2, 2010 at 8:18 pm
Those book marks are great for most pages but when you get to the “heavy” part of the story they are useless.
April 3, 2010 at 2:30 am
DAMN … this has to be the first time I’ve ever regretted living in Hawaii …. just this once. I wanna be in Glendale this Tuesday so bad, I can taste it. My first appearance in a real live book, ferheavenssake ….. and I’m stuck in paradise. Shit!