Meh I had a skull cake for my birthday with strawberry jam with added food dye to make it look even more like blood for my 10th birthday because it was on Friday the 13th
The Australian and I spent two days in your fair city and had a wonderful time. I just want you to know that us non-Milwaukee-ans (Milwaukee-ites?) shan’t judge you all on this teeny-tiny wannabe horror movie prop.
In fact, the Australian in my company was quite pleased with what he found in the Art Museum…
“Wisconsin has just passed the Pickle Law! Yay! This allows home bakers and canners to sell their wares to the public without special licenses and inspections”
this does not instill confidence in me. I would have more confidence in not knowing whether she had a license or not, without her telling me that “yay” she doesn’t need one.
I did not know you could purchase baked..well I was gonna say goods,however, items is fitting. Does this mean I can sell Iowa Sweetcorn if I wanted to?
Helen- if you have never had it I will send it to you packed with dry ice for free out of thr respect I have for your spreading of fuckery and snark. You just have to wait until late Summer when it is done.
Vile & Evil Debbie Downer
April 1, 2010 at 7:39 pm
#7 ensoul, you rock.
I thought my tradition of killing a rabbit & roasting it for Easter dinner was unusual, but this would make a PERFECT dessert to go with. Must say I was disappointed that ‘MATURE’ didn’t involve an enormous lamb pecker.
My great aunt used to make a cake like this for Easter and I always thought it looked creepy. But this one takes the cake. Aaand http://instantrimshot.com/
Holy crap. I totally made this in a bunny shape last year. Extra strawberry filling so it oozed out when we cut into it. Someone made stabbing motions at the normal bunny cake the year before, so I decided it needed to bleed the following easter. And it did!
When I first glanced at this I though we’d be snarking on another etsy misspelling – for “simulated bleating”, which would have been weird enough on a couple of levels.
Believe it or not, sacrifical lamb cakes (as they call them) are actually a thing. I’ve seen them advertised as “Easter traditions” and “First communion traditions.”
After all, you need to completely fuck up your youngest kids nice ‘n’ early. If they grow up without a crippling, nightmarish fear of fluffy baby animals, you have failed as a parent.
Lamb cakes, though, are apparently very common in some places. I’d never heard of them, but a friend of mine who grew up in Chicago says that they always had them when she was a kid, and she was surprised nobody here (Texas) had ever seen one.
They don’t normally “bleed” raspberry jam, though.
Mergatroid: They probably use a turkey injector or something, like you use to shoot a turkey full of seasoning before you roast it. For once, I don’t think it means something totally freakish.
We had a red velvet armadillo groom’s cake at our wedding — it was the one thing my mother insisted must be done (aside from the spouse and I not going to Vegas to get hitched by an Elvis impersonator, aka my dream wedding). My sister wanted the head, so I sliced it off, speared it with the cake knife a la ‘Lord of the Flies’ and gave it to her. She’d be all over this cake!
God said to Abraham, “Bring me a son.”
Abe said, “Man, you must be puttin’ me on.”
God said, “No.”
Abe said, “What?”
God said, “You can do what you want, Abe, but the next time you sacrifice me a lamb cake, I want the strawberry filling.”
This would be more interesting if it were more adeptly made. As is, it looks like someone went over a randomish pile of Dolly Madison Zingers with a can of Barbasol, plopped on the jelly bean nose, and…Wah Lah.
April 1, 2010 at 4:30 pm
I…uh…don’t know what to say.
April 1, 2010 at 4:32 pm
Perfect for Easter! This is what that haunted doll was attempting to be.
April 1, 2010 at 4:33 pm
The vegetarian way to kill, kill, kill during the Easter season.
April 1, 2010 at 4:34 pm
Also with a name like MATURE I was waiting for menstruation-y bleeding.
April 1, 2010 at 4:36 pm
blood cake. with raspberries and icing. and sugar. *head blows up*
April 1, 2010 at 4:39 pm
Introduce your children to the horrors of Easter!
April 1, 2010 at 4:40 pm
To: Clarice Starling
From: The Easter Bunny
April 1, 2010 at 4:40 pm
Right now I am really embarrassed to be from Milwaukee
April 1, 2010 at 4:43 pm
This is truly the sadistic side of Etsy
April 1, 2010 at 4:45 pm
#1 moi : How about WTF?
April 1, 2010 at 4:47 pm
This didn’t shock me as much as it should have because I have been exposed to the Greek “Lamb Head” Easter tradition before…
but still…ew ew ew
(or should I say “ewe”?)
April 1, 2010 at 4:50 pm
I prefer my cake a bit on the unsweet side but this is ridiculous.
April 1, 2010 at 4:50 pm
Cakes based on the facts of life.
April 1, 2010 at 4:51 pm
This is a cake wreck if I’ve ever seen one.
April 1, 2010 at 4:52 pm
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April 1, 2010 at 4:53 pm
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April 1, 2010 at 4:57 pm
Well, I can’t see this as being a bad idea for a kid’s birthday…nope, not at all
April 1, 2010 at 4:58 pm
This is great. I’m serving it at my A Day No Pigs Would Die themed birthday party.
April 1, 2010 at 4:59 pm
Jesus died for your sins, kids. YOU SLAUGHTERED THE LAMB.
Oh, this is wholesome.
April 1, 2010 at 4:59 pm
“This is My Body given for you. Do this in remembrance of….what’s that knife for?!”
April 1, 2010 at 5:02 pm
@#18,19 Whoop! I like a little noir Jesus humour in the afternoon.
April 1, 2010 at 5:03 pm
Hello red-thumbers! Happy Easter! I made you a cake…
April 1, 2010 at 5:03 pm
The first thing that came to mind when I saw the words “decaptiation” and “Milwaukee” was Jeffery Dahmer.
April 1, 2010 at 5:04 pm
http://farm5.static.flickr.com/4027/4483004698_b5070e51a1_o.jpg
Happy Easter!
April 1, 2010 at 5:05 pm
Strawberry or cherry jam? That’s just classy.
Next up, Bella Swan head with strategic jam in the neck.
April 1, 2010 at 5:07 pm
Ya know, if I needed an Easter cake, Etsy would be the first place I would look. Who needs a bakery?
April 1, 2010 at 5:07 pm
The icing looks like a toothpaste/shaving cream combo
April 1, 2010 at 5:11 pm
Mary had a little lamb
it’s fleece was white as icing
everywhere that Mary went
the lamb was sure to…. bleed?
April 1, 2010 at 5:12 pm
It actually looks bloody delish.I’d like to eat the head first.
April 1, 2010 at 5:21 pm
And on that note.
http://img21.imageshack.us/img21/9729/ph2007012900692copy.jpg
April 1, 2010 at 5:23 pm
Its just BaaaaaaaaD
April 1, 2010 at 5:28 pm
I must be seriously disturbed ’cause I think this is friggin’ awesome!!! (Maybe I shouldn’t have chewed through the restraints today…)
April 1, 2010 at 5:31 pm
The pink jelly bean nose is a nice touch.
April 1, 2010 at 5:34 pm
Meh I had a skull cake for my birthday with strawberry jam with added food dye to make it look even more like blood for my 10th birthday because it was on Friday the 13th
April 1, 2010 at 5:36 pm
Other ideas for Easter from her shop:
http://www.etsy.com/view_listing.php?listing_id=41859631
April 1, 2010 at 5:39 pm
If cut off its head, and smear the jelly blood over my lintel will it make the killing curse Passover?
April 1, 2010 at 5:42 pm
I have no mouth–and I must be served with ice cream.
April 1, 2010 at 5:44 pm
Isn’t this something that calls for red velvet cake???
April 1, 2010 at 5:47 pm
What, no Twizzler innards?
April 1, 2010 at 5:49 pm
It doesn’t really look like a lamb to me so much as a legless dog covered in goo. That could just be me though.
That being said, the morbidness of it doesn’t bother me so much.
April 1, 2010 at 5:55 pm
@ #8 madamedefarge :
The Australian and I spent two days in your fair city and had a wonderful time. I just want you to know that us non-Milwaukee-ans (Milwaukee-ites?) shan’t judge you all on this teeny-tiny wannabe horror movie prop.
In fact, the Australian in my company was quite pleased with what he found in the Art Museum…
http://www.flickr.com/photos/psexypsychic/4465572761/in/set-72157623586482509/
April 1, 2010 at 5:58 pm
Re #32 Wilma Fingerdoo
From the Death Bunny listing – “I laughed so hard I nearly tinkled.”
She makes slaughterable lamb cakes and goth bunnies, but she can’t just say “nearly pissed myself”?
April 1, 2010 at 5:59 pm
Oops, that was #35!
April 1, 2010 at 6:00 pm
I always think of the lamb as representing a Child of God. Perhaps someone better go check the children?
April 1, 2010 at 6:03 pm
I, too, thought of Dahmer. Then I thought of Old Millwaukee beer. So much nasty there.
April 1, 2010 at 6:08 pm
This puts me in mind of the wonderful and ghastly “Bleeding Heart Jello” dessert created by Penn and Teller.
I would love a cake like this if someone I knew made one. But not from someone selling it under the Pickle Law. Sorry, Christina.
April 1, 2010 at 6:12 pm
http://www.etsy.com/view_listing.php?listing_id=41867040
At least her plush hippos are really cute.
April 1, 2010 at 6:16 pm
“Wisconsin has just passed the Pickle Law! Yay! This allows home bakers and canners to sell their wares to the public without special licenses and inspections”
this does not instill confidence in me. I would have more confidence in not knowing whether she had a license or not, without her telling me that “yay” she doesn’t need one.
April 1, 2010 at 6:17 pm
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April 1, 2010 at 6:22 pm
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April 1, 2010 at 6:24 pm
Shari is rolling over in her grave.
April 1, 2010 at 6:25 pm
Obviously a pinata wasn’t violent enough for “the kids”.
April 1, 2010 at 6:41 pm
I did not know you could purchase baked..well I was gonna say goods,however, items is fitting. Does this mean I can sell Iowa Sweetcorn if I wanted to?
Helen- if you have never had it I will send it to you packed with dry ice for free out of thr respect I have for your spreading of fuckery and snark. You just have to wait until late Summer when it is done.
April 1, 2010 at 6:49 pm
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April 1, 2010 at 6:57 pm
I wonder what’s next? Jesus stake cake?
April 1, 2010 at 6:59 pm
Mmmm. Taste the cuteness.
April 1, 2010 at 7:02 pm
#51 iunifera: We were on the same wavelength.
http://www.flickr.com/photos/upload/done/
April 1, 2010 at 7:07 pm
Does the buyer get a new cake, or the already decapitated and re-glued cake? Because honestly, that kinda takes the wind out of my sails.
April 1, 2010 at 7:09 pm
Oops. Sorry.
http://www.flickr.com/photos/36532708@N00/4483210394/
April 1, 2010 at 7:31 pm
@ #59 Sudabaki – Now I know what happened to lambchops twin sister.
April 1, 2010 at 7:39 pm
#7 ensoul, you rock.
I thought my tradition of killing a rabbit & roasting it for Easter dinner was unusual, but this would make a PERFECT dessert to go with. Must say I was disappointed that ‘MATURE’ didn’t involve an enormous lamb pecker.
April 1, 2010 at 7:47 pm
What in the name of God and Hannibal Lector is this supposed to be?
April 1, 2010 at 7:54 pm
My great aunt used to make a cake like this for Easter and I always thought it looked creepy. But this one takes the cake. Aaand http://instantrimshot.com/
April 1, 2010 at 7:55 pm
I can hear the lambs crying…
and whomever said the comment above about the cake being red velvet cake, that’s what I was thinking, too…
April 1, 2010 at 8:21 pm
I would totally do that!
April 1, 2010 at 8:35 pm
Holy crap. I totally made this in a bunny shape last year. Extra strawberry filling so it oozed out when we cut into it. Someone made stabbing motions at the normal bunny cake the year before, so I decided it needed to bleed the following easter. And it did!
April 1, 2010 at 8:41 pm
Wow it’s just BAAAAAAD! sorry sorry sorry!
*smacks self in head with keyboard for actually posting it-blame it on the tequila!*
April 1, 2010 at 9:10 pm
When I first glanced at this I though we’d be snarking on another etsy misspelling – for “simulated bleating”, which would have been weird enough on a couple of levels.
This is worse…
April 1, 2010 at 9:38 pm
Silence of the Lambs… Jeffrey Dahmer… possible menstruation reference….. Happy Easter, kids!!!!! Geesh.
April 1, 2010 at 11:39 pm
There’s something about the swirl of jam, the pink candy grass and white frosting, that reminds me of a rouge* Hostess Sno Ball.
*(or rogue, take your pick)
April 2, 2010 at 4:06 am
Believe it or not, sacrifical lamb cakes (as they call them) are actually a thing. I’ve seen them advertised as “Easter traditions” and “First communion traditions.”
After all, you need to completely fuck up your youngest kids nice ‘n’ early. If they grow up without a crippling, nightmarish fear of fluffy baby animals, you have failed as a parent.
April 2, 2010 at 4:08 am
*Sacrificial.
I have apparently sacrificed my spelling.
April 2, 2010 at 5:46 am
I would totally do that.
Lamb cakes, though, are apparently very common in some places. I’d never heard of them, but a friend of mine who grew up in Chicago says that they always had them when she was a kid, and she was surprised nobody here (Texas) had ever seen one.
They don’t normally “bleed” raspberry jam, though.
April 2, 2010 at 6:23 am
The seller says the jam is “injected” into the cake, in quotes. Is that supposed to mean something else?
April 2, 2010 at 6:58 am
I’d rather cut into that little lamb than this creepy disaster at my baby shower:
http://thelaughingstork.com/2009/07/baby-shower-cakes-so-real-you-can-taste-it/
April 2, 2010 at 7:15 am
hahha i’ve done this before, except used red velvet cake for even more bloody action. It’s a great way to really piss off your vegetarian inlaws.
April 2, 2010 at 7:15 am
Not sure if it needs to be listed as “mature” but I really like it!
April 2, 2010 at 7:34 am
Good lord–between this and all the serial killers, no wonder people think all of us from Milwaukee are nuts.
April 2, 2010 at 7:35 am
#74 Efit – i’m more concerned about the tag line of the website “gravity defying baby poop” than a baby cake. That’s the stuff of nightmares.
April 2, 2010 at 8:20 am
Mergatroid: They probably use a turkey injector or something, like you use to shoot a turkey full of seasoning before you roast it. For once, I don’t think it means something totally freakish.
April 2, 2010 at 8:28 am
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April 2, 2010 at 8:43 am
We had a red velvet armadillo groom’s cake at our wedding — it was the one thing my mother insisted must be done (aside from the spouse and I not going to Vegas to get hitched by an Elvis impersonator, aka my dream wedding). My sister wanted the head, so I sliced it off, speared it with the cake knife a la ‘Lord of the Flies’ and gave it to her. She’d be all over this cake!
April 2, 2010 at 8:52 am
Ooof…I just came here from Cake Wrecks and thought I’d traveled back in time. The lamb cakes featured there today are far more, uh, interesting.
April 2, 2010 at 8:59 am
@#59 Suda: I remember that episode, almost as disturbing as the time Bozo was hungover and puked on his clown shoes.
April 2, 2010 at 9:07 am
God said to Abraham, “Bring me a son.”
Abe said, “Man, you must be puttin’ me on.”
God said, “No.”
Abe said, “What?”
God said, “You can do what you want, Abe, but the next time you sacrifice me a lamb cake, I want the strawberry filling.”
April 2, 2010 at 9:27 am
Take away the blood reference and just say jelly filled and it’s just another cake.
So is a Twinke naughty if you remove the “creme filled” and add “Aged Jizz from lonely sailors” into the title?
Ponder that my sisters…Ponder that.
April 2, 2010 at 9:31 am
http://www.facebook.com/photo.php?pid=5180806&l=42e3755416&id=562289679
April 2, 2010 at 9:37 am
And now, Bella aside, I really want some red velvet cake.
April 2, 2010 at 9:38 am
#82 SAY WHAT?!
April 2, 2010 at 9:58 am
Can I just have a Cadbury egg while I say a prayer or do I HAVE to eat bloody lamb cake?
April 2, 2010 at 10:30 am
As usual, this seller has mostly cute, mainstream stuffed animals in her store, and then this!!! What came over her??
April 2, 2010 at 10:31 am
What’s a birthday party without a good animal beheading?
April 2, 2010 at 10:45 am
@#86 SB: Dude, I thought Twinkies were filled with unicorn jizz.
April 2, 2010 at 11:17 am
Have your cake and bleed it too!
April 2, 2010 at 11:21 am
This would be more interesting if it were more adeptly made. As is, it looks like someone went over a randomish pile of Dolly Madison Zingers with a can of Barbasol, plopped on the jelly bean nose, and…Wah Lah.
April 2, 2010 at 11:30 am
Really? That is supposed to be mature? My kids would think nothing of cutting the lamb up and eating it. It’s fruit for goodness sake.
April 2, 2010 at 11:57 am
Mary had a little lamb
with icing all around.
She took a knife,
lopped off it’s head
then used milk to wash it down.
April 2, 2010 at 12:11 pm
Bah Ram Ewe
Bah Ram Ewe
Cut my head off
Blood will spew
Cake for you
Bah Ram Ewe
April 2, 2010 at 1:07 pm
OK, I take it back – #75 Efit’s “baby sugar cake” pic is WAYYYY more disturbing event han bloody lamb Easter cake.
April 5, 2010 at 3:42 pm
Cakewrecks have a very good entry for eerie lamb cakes, both easter & freaky blood-spurting communion ones:
http://cakewrecks.blogspot.com/2009/04/lamb-entations.html
October 13, 2010 at 1:16 pm
My six year old daughter would so love this cake, I might have to get the recipe, hmmm, maybe even turn it into a black sheep for extra fun