I…uh…don’t know what to say.
Perfect for Easter! This is what that haunted doll was attempting to be.
The vegetarian way to kill, kill, kill during the Easter season.
Also with a name like MATURE I was waiting for menstruation-y bleeding.
blood cake. with raspberries and icing. and sugar. *head blows up*
Introduce your children to the horrors of Easter!
To: Clarice Starling
From: The Easter Bunny
Right now I am really embarrassed to be from Milwaukee
This is truly the sadistic side of Etsy
#1 moi : How about WTF?
This didn’t shock me as much as it should have because I have been exposed to the Greek “Lamb Head” Easter tradition before…
but still…ew ew ew
(or should I say “ewe”?)
I prefer my cake a bit on the unsweet side but this is ridiculous.
Cakes based on the facts of life.
This is a cake wreck if I’ve ever seen one.
Hidden due to low comment rating. Click here to see.
Is this thing the new schwarma? Just shave a little off of the spit?
That’s me in the middle.
Well, I can’t see this as being a bad idea for a kid’s birthday…nope, not at all
This is great. I’m serving it at my A Day No Pigs Would Die themed birthday party.
Jesus died for your sins, kids. YOU SLAUGHTERED THE LAMB.
Oh, this is wholesome.
“This is My Body given for you. Do this in remembrance of….what’s that knife for?!”
@#18,19 Whoop! I like a little noir Jesus humour in the afternoon.
Hello red-thumbers! Happy Easter! I made you a cake…
The first thing that came to mind when I saw the words “decaptiation” and “Milwaukee” was Jeffery Dahmer.
Strawberry or cherry jam? That’s just classy.
Next up, Bella Swan head with strategic jam in the neck.
Ya know, if I needed an Easter cake, Etsy would be the first place I would look. Who needs a bakery?
The icing looks like a toothpaste/shaving cream combo
Mary had a little lamb
it’s fleece was white as icing
everywhere that Mary went
the lamb was sure to…. bleed?
It actually looks bloody delish.I’d like to eat the head first.
And on that note.
Its just BaaaaaaaaD
I must be seriously disturbed ’cause I think this is friggin’ awesome!!! (Maybe I shouldn’t have chewed through the restraints today…)
The pink jelly bean nose is a nice touch.
Meh I had a skull cake for my birthday with strawberry jam with added food dye to make it look even more like blood for my 10th birthday because it was on Friday the 13th
Other ideas for Easter from her shop:
If cut off its head, and smear the jelly blood over my lintel will it make the killing curse Passover?
I have no mouth–and I must be served with ice cream.
Isn’t this something that calls for red velvet cake???
What, no Twizzler innards?
It doesn’t really look like a lamb to me so much as a legless dog covered in goo. That could just be me though.
That being said, the morbidness of it doesn’t bother me so much.
@ #8 madamedefarge :
The Australian and I spent two days in your fair city and had a wonderful time. I just want you to know that us non-Milwaukee-ans (Milwaukee-ites?) shan’t judge you all on this teeny-tiny wannabe horror movie prop.
In fact, the Australian in my company was quite pleased with what he found in the Art Museum…
Re #32 Wilma Fingerdoo
From the Death Bunny listing – “I laughed so hard I nearly tinkled.”
She makes slaughterable lamb cakes and goth bunnies, but she can’t just say “nearly pissed myself”?
Oops, that was #35!
I always think of the lamb as representing a Child of God. Perhaps someone better go check the children?
I, too, thought of Dahmer. Then I thought of Old Millwaukee beer. So much nasty there.
This puts me in mind of the wonderful and ghastly “Bleeding Heart Jello” dessert created by Penn and Teller.
I would love a cake like this if someone I knew made one. But not from someone selling it under the Pickle Law. Sorry, Christina.
At least her plush hippos are really cute.
“Wisconsin has just passed the Pickle Law! Yay! This allows home bakers and canners to sell their wares to the public without special licenses and inspections”
this does not instill confidence in me. I would have more confidence in not knowing whether she had a license or not, without her telling me that “yay” she doesn’t need one.
I am having dejavu about my Aunt Joyce…
…no blood relation, BTW, just to clarify
Shari is rolling over in her grave.
Obviously a pinata wasn’t violent enough for “the kids”.
I did not know you could purchase baked..well I was gonna say goods,however, items is fitting. Does this mean I can sell Iowa Sweetcorn if I wanted to?
Helen- if you have never had it I will send it to you packed with dry ice for free out of thr respect I have for your spreading of fuckery and snark. You just have to wait until late Summer when it is done.
I’m going to pass. SD out…
I wonder what’s next? Jesus stake cake?
Mmmm. Taste the cuteness.
#51 iunifera: We were on the same wavelength.
Does the buyer get a new cake, or the already decapitated and re-glued cake? Because honestly, that kinda takes the wind out of my sails.
@ #59 Sudabaki – Now I know what happened to lambchops twin sister.
#7 ensoul, you rock.
I thought my tradition of killing a rabbit & roasting it for Easter dinner was unusual, but this would make a PERFECT dessert to go with. Must say I was disappointed that ‘MATURE’ didn’t involve an enormous lamb pecker.
What in the name of God and Hannibal Lector is this supposed to be?
My great aunt used to make a cake like this for Easter and I always thought it looked creepy. But this one takes the cake. Aaand http://instantrimshot.com/
I can hear the lambs crying…
and whomever said the comment above about the cake being red velvet cake, that’s what I was thinking, too…
I would totally do that!
Holy crap. I totally made this in a bunny shape last year. Extra strawberry filling so it oozed out when we cut into it. Someone made stabbing motions at the normal bunny cake the year before, so I decided it needed to bleed the following easter. And it did!
Wow it’s just BAAAAAAD! sorry sorry sorry!
*smacks self in head with keyboard for actually posting it-blame it on the tequila!*
When I first glanced at this I though we’d be snarking on another etsy misspelling – for “simulated bleating”, which would have been weird enough on a couple of levels.
This is worse…
Silence of the Lambs… Jeffrey Dahmer… possible menstruation reference….. Happy Easter, kids!!!!! Geesh.
There’s something about the swirl of jam, the pink candy grass and white frosting, that reminds me of a rouge* Hostess Sno Ball.
*(or rogue, take your pick)
Believe it or not, sacrifical lamb cakes (as they call them) are actually a thing. I’ve seen them advertised as “Easter traditions” and “First communion traditions.”
After all, you need to completely fuck up your youngest kids nice ‘n’ early. If they grow up without a crippling, nightmarish fear of fluffy baby animals, you have failed as a parent.
I have apparently sacrificed my spelling.
I would totally do that.
Lamb cakes, though, are apparently very common in some places. I’d never heard of them, but a friend of mine who grew up in Chicago says that they always had them when she was a kid, and she was surprised nobody here (Texas) had ever seen one.
They don’t normally “bleed” raspberry jam, though.
The seller says the jam is “injected” into the cake, in quotes. Is that supposed to mean something else?
I’d rather cut into that little lamb than this creepy disaster at my baby shower:
hahha i’ve done this before, except used red velvet cake for even more bloody action. It’s a great way to really piss off your vegetarian inlaws.
Not sure if it needs to be listed as “mature” but I really like it!
Good lord–between this and all the serial killers, no wonder people think all of us from Milwaukee are nuts.
#74 Efit – i’m more concerned about the tag line of the website “gravity defying baby poop” than a baby cake. That’s the stuff of nightmares.
Mergatroid: They probably use a turkey injector or something, like you use to shoot a turkey full of seasoning before you roast it. For once, I don’t think it means something totally freakish.
this idea is really pretty awesome, though poorly executed.
We had a red velvet armadillo groom’s cake at our wedding — it was the one thing my mother insisted must be done (aside from the spouse and I not going to Vegas to get hitched by an Elvis impersonator, aka my dream wedding). My sister wanted the head, so I sliced it off, speared it with the cake knife a la ‘Lord of the Flies’ and gave it to her. She’d be all over this cake!
Ooof…I just came here from Cake Wrecks and thought I’d traveled back in time. The lamb cakes featured there today are far more, uh, interesting.
@#59 Suda: I remember that episode, almost as disturbing as the time Bozo was hungover and puked on his clown shoes.
God said to Abraham, “Bring me a son.”
Abe said, “Man, you must be puttin’ me on.”
God said, “No.”
Abe said, “What?”
God said, “You can do what you want, Abe, but the next time you sacrifice me a lamb cake, I want the strawberry filling.”
Take away the blood reference and just say jelly filled and it’s just another cake.
So is a Twinke naughty if you remove the “creme filled” and add “Aged Jizz from lonely sailors” into the title?
Ponder that my sisters…Ponder that.
And now, Bella aside, I really want some red velvet cake.
#82 SAY WHAT?!
Can I just have a Cadbury egg while I say a prayer or do I HAVE to eat bloody lamb cake?
As usual, this seller has mostly cute, mainstream stuffed animals in her store, and then this!!! What came over her??
What’s a birthday party without a good animal beheading?
@#86 SB: Dude, I thought Twinkies were filled with unicorn jizz.
Have your cake and bleed it too!
This would be more interesting if it were more adeptly made. As is, it looks like someone went over a randomish pile of Dolly Madison Zingers with a can of Barbasol, plopped on the jelly bean nose, and…Wah Lah.
Really? That is supposed to be mature? My kids would think nothing of cutting the lamb up and eating it. It’s fruit for goodness sake.
Mary had a little lamb
with icing all around.
She took a knife,
lopped off it’s head
then used milk to wash it down.
Bah Ram Ewe
Bah Ram Ewe
Cut my head off
Blood will spew
Cake for you
Bah Ram Ewe
OK, I take it back – #75 Efit’s “baby sugar cake” pic is WAYYYY more disturbing event han bloody lamb Easter cake.
Cakewrecks have a very good entry for eerie lamb cakes, both easter & freaky blood-spurting communion ones:
My six year old daughter would so love this cake, I might have to get the recipe, hmmm, maybe even turn it into a black sheep for extra fun
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