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Monthly Archives: March 2010
Can you smell it?
That scent in the air? A sort of “burning diaper in an Indian restaurant” smell?
That, my friends, is excitement. And you’re soaking in it!
As you know, the release of Regretsy: Where DIY Meets WTF is right around the corner. Already, people are using words like “Brilliant” (my mother), “Fantastic” (my agent), and “Evocative, lyrical and candid” (The New York Times, but they were talking about Dreams From My Father).
Yes, it’s all pretty thrilling. And it’s about to get even thrillinger! Because to celebrate the book’s release on April 6th, Random House is sponsoring a contest, right here on Regretsy!
I’m not talking about some boring ass contest either. This is a crafting contest, and anyone can enter, regardless of the medium they work in! It’s so clever, it almost sounds like it wasn’t drunk when I thought of it!
THE CONTEST
PROTECT THE THINGS YOU LOVE!
You’re going to design the official, downloadable Regretsy book dust jacket! You heard me!
Yes, I realize it’s a paperback, that’s hardly the issue. It’s a big world out there, and you need to protect your investment from things like coffee rings and vomit.
And what if you take it on a plane or something? Do you really want people leaning over and saying, “Registry? You getting married?” No, there’s a reason we’re all on the internet, and it’s spelled o-t-h-e-r p-e-o-p-l-e. You know what I’m talking about. If you wanted to spend all day talking to strangers, you’d get a job.
HOW TO ENTER
Make your design for the dust jacket using any medium at all – it doesn’t have to be two dimensional. You can sculpt or knit or sew or do paper mache; you can even draw on yourself or spray paint your car. Or your neighbor’s car. What do I care?
Then just photograph or scan your piece, and fit it into the template we’ve designed for you.
Here’s a small version with the actual cover laid in, so you can see what the hell I’m babbling about.
The two rows on the top and bottom are folded under and not visible when the cover is on. But the inside flaps can be seen when the book is open, so if you like, you can continue your design, or write a fake bio for me or draw pictures of penises.
I just want to clarify that you are designing the WHOLE cover, not just the flaps. The artwork is only laid in here to show you how it wraps around the book.
Click here to download a template PDF
Click here to download a jpg version
Save your design as a jpg and email it to helen@regretsy.com, or upload it it and send me a link.
Since these will be available for people to download, please make your designs a reasonable size, say 1 or 2 MB.
Entries are due by Friday April 2. The best entries will be posted over the weekend, and the winners be be announced Monday, April 5.
THE PRIZES
Here’s where shit gets real, yo.
There will be ten winners total.
All ten winners will receive a signed copy of the Regretsy book, and a special bonus from Random House!
The third prize winner will also receive a $25 gift card to Michaels arts and crafts store.
The second prize winner will also receive a $50 gift card to Michaels arts and crafts store.
And the first place winner will also receive a $100 card to Michaels arts and crafts store . . . and something else.
Something so magnificent, that all other contests should just fuck off.
Ladies and Gentleman, may I present . . .
THE REGRETSY BOOK COVER CONTEST TROPHY
Built and designed by Regretsy favorite, Cappy Sue!
Yes, that’s me up there, perched on a giant nipple and wearing a vagina necklace, skants and a fertility doily. And how much do you love the nod to the smiling sap bucket?
There are so many jokes and so much Regretsy inspired fuckery on this thing that I have no choice but to take you on a virtual tour, so I can point out some of the awesomeness for you.
1. Turkey skants dude
2. Dice dreamcatcher
3. Chicken poncho
4. Jar lid necklace
5. Gumball head clown decanter
6. Goat in a coat
7. Miniature replica of A Denny Pinkham painting
8. Cut-out cat
I know, right?
That’s just the beginning.
1. Miniature replica of the infamous Mittens painting
2. Miniature replica of the Shit Horse painting
3. Miniature replica of the Fucking Flies painting
4. Polymer penis, as seen on the Regretsy purse
5. Miniature replica of Soapy Ho’s Corn poo soap
6. Miniature penis gun replica
All right, let’s all just try to calm down.
Because there’s more.
1. Whimsicle Fuckery medal
2. Michael Jackson Cat Toy replica
3. Miniature replica of The Belly Button Witch painting
4. Homage to Ady’s donkey rescue
5. No fucking idea
Not pictured: Googly-eyed polymer vagina
There you have it. Excitement, drama, pathos. There isn’t a dry seat in the house.
Well, get to it, people. This book isn’t going to cover itself.
