Wow. I hope that the money from the sale goes towards those exciting new anti-psychotic meds.
wth. I’d be more impressed with the sheer craziness of all of this if her grammar and spelling weren’t so atrocious. “I’m loosing my mind!!!!!!”
$89 to invite psychotic episodes. What a bargain!
She was quite ethnically-progressive, as the first Europeans didn’t settle in the area until well into the 1800s. The rest of the story I tottally believe, though.
poor girl. i hate riding bareback too.
Wow, I really want this but she says the buyer must be mentally sound. That leaves me out.
Amazing that she’s so desperate to get rid of this doll that she will part with it for a mere $89. And why would I pay that kind of money to hear a doll yell sexually explicit vulgarities when I can walk through the unsavory areas by Times Square for free?
Disturbing………. the seller types this story, and blames the doll for trying to humiliate her?
The doll smells like “whiskey and sex”…ooh, count me in!!!
Now does she poke things in my orafaces or hers while sleeping?
ps- Would she attack the UPS driver in transit? Why ship that vodoo? Better to hand-deliver it!
Apparently eBay does a brisk trade in haunted items with elaborate back stories. Anyone remember the Dibbuk Box? http://www.dibbukbox.com
Uh-oh, the listing has been removed. I think we made the doll angry!
She lived for at least 9 what? Minutes? Hours? Days? Months? Years? I must know!
I bet she has the prettiest doll shelf at the asylum.
And watches Child’s Play every chance she gets.
“You must be at least 18 years old, and of sane mind to bid.”
Pulled the listing?
That evil hussy doll is full of mischief.
that’s funny, my obscene and sexually deviant toys live in my top dresser drawer…
Hidden due to low comment rating. Click here to see.
Must be 18 and mentally sound to bid. That is the best of this- well part of the best. Apparently you do not have to be mentally sound to sell this.
PSSSSSSSSTTTTTTTTT…HELEN- My Sister and I call stuff like this EBULL- it’s catchy, isn’t it?
I also am highly suspicious of those canjo’s- do you and Bronc own em? Yah all don’t have to tell- just come back now and show us yah here.
“…the first Europeans didn’t settle in the area until well into the 1800s.”
the presidio of san diego was founded in 1769? i’m assuming the date is derived from the wikipedia page. there would have been a fort and a mission but no anglos and almost certainly no “saloon.”
The doll is nothing–what bothers me is the seller’s imagination towards young girls.
#18- you must not have yunguns
Bride of Chucky.
Maybe the catpriest can do their wedding.
#21 IscreamUscream: I was thinking the same thing…the person that posted this first had to sit there and think out that whole story. Perverse…it’s like the people that look through porn sites for hours before complaining about them.
…and the necessary exorcism. of the SELLER.
#20 superineficaz : “I’m assuming the date is derived from the wikipedia page.”
Really, I assumed that the date (1769) was derived from the sellers childish imagination and thrill at it ending in 69.
She lived for 9 what- Jesus leave us hanging.
anything to do with dolls and hauntings always reminds me of DOOOOOM HOOOUSE
Yeah, she’s no longer babysitting my kids.
Negative feedback rating seller took my money and sent me nothing ,the seller is the evil one!
Nothing negative with Elizabeth – just confused – LOVE HER
These are my 2 favorite feedbacks left for her.
what bothers me is what target group she has in mind?!
who would want to buy a doll that tells you in your dreams all the gory details of her being raped with a bed post? err…i think i don’t want to know.
I love the feedback in her store – very high rating for item as described. So there must be at least 2 people out there of similar mind. Or she is buying and selling her own stuff and submitting reviews.
#20 – superineficaz
I believed the story up until you pointed out how impossible it was for there to be a saloon in 1769.
I would like to know how the seller happens apon all of these haunted dolls? Especially when they all look like the cheap china dolls you can buy at the thrift stores for $10.
At least there’s free shipping.
wait, **I** have to be mentally sound to bid? RING RING hello pot, this is the kettle. yeah, you’re black.
My other half who says the whole dates and all are bullshit after I HAD to share this. Can’t keep shit like this to yourself.
All he had to say is she would have been called a Harlet back then. Well past the 1769 but during that late end of that time.
If the cutesy-poo descriptions don’t work to sell these dolls, try the opposite?
And she seems to live near that undeadmushroom12 commune in Washington state. Creepy.
We happen to own a 1963 Ken Doll posessed by a Catholic Priest who will perform the exorcism of this doll and the seller if Ken can come over and play.
I already got one of these.
I call her “my sister-in-law”.
I am horrified by the thought that there might be a sap *er* PERSON, who feels that they need this sex and whiskey stank doll in their life.
As sick as you have to be to fabricate this, you gotta be sicker to want to buy it.
So long, faith in humanity!
This is level 5 moonshine from lead pipes just bat shit crazy. Sell on ebay my ass if you believe this is going on throw that little bitch in a bbq pit and set it on fire.
HAHAHA, I must be the only one who thinks this is awesome. I love the seller’s stories – s/he should be a horror writer.
#42 LadyGrey : Whore writer perhaps?
El-sicko to the max.
Whorer writer ,maybe.
What about a doll possessed by an age-appropriate floozy from this century?
Uh. Actually, people, I am sitting in a room built in 1740 right this very minute. It’s in my house. The town where I live was founded in the late 1600s. And yes, it’s in the United States.
Regardless, this seller is fucking batshit on a lamppost, and I’m a-skeered.
BTW, damn right she better be offering free shipping if she wants someone to take Rosemary’s baby doll off of her hands.
i think she should post pics of the doll masturbating violently and trying to put stuff in sleeping people’s orifices. then i will be convinced of this doll’s awesome possession.
ps, apologiesy for my poor grammar in post 46. fucking kids kept me up half the night.
I mean, those little darlings.
at least they don’t masturbate violently as often as this seller claims the doll does.
apologiesy?! WTF. I need a nap.
I’ve been flipping through the DSM, trying to find the name of this particular mental disorder, but haven’t found it yet. I’ll let you know when I do.
So, If I shell out 89 clams for this doll and I don’t get to experience violent doll masturbation and being probed with sundry items while I sleep, can I send it back for a refund? Or maybe I can just sell myself on Regrebay as a Yachaqs Shaman who will do Distance Cleansings of your haunted dolls for 180$ a pop. If it isn’t too commercial that is.
If only the seller had imagined a more interesting story–such as a 11 year old girl’s travel around the tip of S.America to west coast? (she couldn’t take Amtrack out west in 1769). To get on a ship, she must have disguised herself as a midget ship-hand, working the rigging up in the sails around the horn–more plausible than the seller’s story!
This is what they said would happen when HBO canceled “Deadwood”
51- FULL OF BULLSHIT is my diagnosis
Wow . . . Where does she find all these “haunted” dolls? Or do they find her? lol What a real piece of work . . . I’m pretty sure they have a medication for that . . .
This one’s my favourite!!
“This little porcelain boy doll must have lived a terrible life, and dies a horrific death…”
I HATE it when dolls live and die horrible deaths
Hai, guyz, thiz iz 4 reel. It iz reel skeery. Don’t be h8tin (I always wanted to try that. It’s so much harder to type like that than like a normal person).
Seems like owning this doll will lead to another hard day at the orface.
Given the number of dolls she has for sale, each with their own terrible psychic dreams, she must be dealing with some long nights. Watching movies with the starlet, fending off the boy doll when he tries to bite her and molest her dog, constantly mopping up the blood from this doll…
This kind of reminds me of “The Tell Tale Heart” by Edgar Allen Poe.
Seriously she’s had a few sales – only 1 negative feedback – and that was a non-delivery complaint not that it wasn’t haunted – MOST of her sales are private – suddenly she thinks she’ll get more attention if they’re public…or the dolls told her to go public.
“Medicated for your protection” should be the seller’s slogan…
OK i do have one question. Since when do state run mental hospitals let the dangerous psychotics online to sell crap online? And why on earth didn’t they burn these dolls when she first was admitted to the funny farm?
If this thing is so horrible why didn’t she just throw it out or donate it to Goodwill? Unless she used to like it and now she’s got a newer more raunchy possessed minion?
People occasionally attach weird “haunted object” stories to worthless crap they’re trying to sell on eBay. But they’re usually better stories. Less offensive. And, oh yeah, on eBay. Not etsy, which is supposed to have a tad more class.
Oh. Whoops. I see that this is eBay.
#64-Dynamoose-etsy,ebay, whatever. As long as the $ is green.
#62-could there actually be a raunchier version?
$89?! For a cheap ass “haunted” China doll?
a) That doll sure as shit wasn’t around in the 18th century, so how the hell did this teenager get stuck in it?
b) If it’s really THAT bad, you should be paying me to take it.
@61 – It’s called “out-patient” treatment.
Uh this seller besides being totally street rat, bat shit effin crazy really needs some therapy-this has got to be a cry for help!
#39 josh- lucky you! just have one sister in law, I have a matched pair that my Hubby and I call the “demon-in-laws”
i couldn’t help myself.
or this one:
That one non-delivery complaint – was that for the doll that shreds paper? Ripped itself out of the box in transit? Any postal people missing? Yikes!
Why would abused children haunt dolls made in China?
This seller is self-possesed.
Hautemom – I knew it! Those dolls are mass produced!
Josh and Libby – LOL!
it’s actually almost embarrassing that i have a porcelain doll in my home. i actually have a few. my grandmother loves them and sent a few to my daughter. she would just die if she knew i took this picture of one.
She can model her doll shop as the bat shit crazy American Girl dolls. Those fuckers are around the same price point, right?
Her detailed bio’s of these dolls are what frightens me most. She could say that these were the ones that fell off the truck into the wrong hands…
I wonder if it’s really possible to buy some crap like this and actually sue for misrepresentation or false advertising… It would soooo be worth it, just to make a point, that even though you’re just a person selling your junk online, you still need to represent what you’re selling in an honest manner, and that you should consider yourself a small business person….
Well, Haute, I hope that doesn’t happen. She’d come back as a Barbie doll or something and drive you crazy!
I wish someone here would buy this. I really really do. And then create a blog detailing all of their experiences.
Ya know, given that OF COURSE it is true! how could it not be…a plain ol’ doll possessed by a ancient prostitute? Come on!
Maybe Chucky will buy her as a mail-order bride!
Hautemom ~ I see your dolly is a free-bleeder.
Good thing she’s sitting on a towel.
Yeah, a real “small business” person, versus somebody of small ideas projecting their warped mind into a harmless doll.
They probably just smoked some bad weed and got super paranoid.
Or have paranoid schizophrenia.
It’s a crapshoot, really.
If I have to come back and haunt something, it sure as shit ain’t gonna be some crappy doll someone bought off of HSN. It’s so overdone. No one ever thinks outside the box when it comes to hauntings. Why not haunt a Fleshlight and bite dudes in the dick when they use it? Or haunt a coroner’s office and make the cadavers vogue when no one’s looking? Or haunt the local animal shelter and play with kittens for the rest of your afterlife?
You know, if you’re bidding on this, you’re probably not of sound mind, therefore making your bid invalid. Maybe that’s why these things aren’t selling?
This is so ridiculous, I mean, it’s already ridiculous, but in one completed listing she has a doll that was “found in a basement” where satanic activities happened “12 years ago” in a brand new doll that they currently sell at all toystores. I mean, it’s made of vinyl, at least the porcelain ones could almost be believable for the age of the dolls. How does she get all these ‘haunted’ dolls? They find her? Creepy. I can’t imagine theses ‘spirits’ like being sold and shipped off much.
Changes the meaning of the term “getting dolled up”.
I’d love to know how she verifies the mental soundness of each seller.
robotulism (great name by the way!) – She says they’re “bisque porcelain” so if they’re actually vinyl, she’d get slammed with negative feedback.
One of her listings says the doll is haunted by Billy Milligan. Uh, he’s still alive and I’d like to know which of his 24 personalities is in the doll. It makes a difference, you know.
#88 knitvincible – She just trusts the buyer to figure out if they are mentally fit to bid on something she is warning them not to bid on!
#53 Buzzkill To Teenagers
LOL I was about as mad as a haunted hussy doll myself when they canceled Deadwood. Aaaarrgghh!
OMG–cheap-ass china “haunted” dolls are all over eBay, too.
I saw one once that advertised “white power”. Not White Power, but . . . pure, benevolent, energy, I guess. The doll was African-American.
I’m not kidding.
It was so unutterably stupid that it didn’t even seem racist. Neo-Nazis might be idiots, but they aren’t generally New Age idiots.
I must have been absent the day they covered the migration of the plucky pre-teen colonists who set out on foot from Rhode Island (until they could prostitute themselves for horses) to escape the chafing yoke of colonial oppression and find freedom in Mexico. That girl was a regular Lady Liberty, she was.
Stupid hussies! They ARE not victims they are perpetrators and demons! Clearly this ELEVEN-YEAR-OLD wanted to be treated like an object. She sold herself, so the seller may as well make a quick 89 bucks off her. Is this pimping and therefore technically a crime?
(note: if this story was true it would be the saddest thing ever, because it’s not I can mock the use of the word “hussy.” Right? Seriously, I’m torn between staunch feminism and snark. What to do… )
so that’s how you peddle the plethora of “collectible” dolls on ebay *takes notes*
Regrebay…I sense another book in the near future, the psychic haunted doll told me so
So, all of the dolls in her Regrebay store are haunted…..where the hell does she shop at? Maybe, just maybe, she’s the one that needs an exorcism….not the dolls!
man, I gotta change my listing…
and raise my prices
#52 HermesGoddess – “I mean, those little darlings.
at least they don’t masturbate violently as often as this seller claims the doll does.”
Teenagers up half the night…….If I were you I wouldn’t be so sure.
“Must be…mentally sound to bid.”
Double-standard if every I saw it.
How did she get hold of all these evil dolls? Simple. When 15 year old hussy realized what a great gig this “posess a doll” deal was, she told all her old customers and then invited them over to the seller’s house for a…um…”party.”
By the way, “hussy” comes from archaic English “housewife” (at the time pronounced “hussif”). At the time, the word was not quite so innocent sounding…guess it meant that she was “wife” to whomever was in the “house.”
OK, I’ll quit with the Cliff Claven act, now.
I prefer the term “dammit doll”.
A bunch of people have actually bought these things. Which makes the buyers much freakier than the seller, who knows (with at least one or two of her personalities) that she’s making this shit up.
Wow, that’s quite the backstory.
She really needs to meet the guy who writes the backstories for the glass penises that he makes.
@106 Ned, if by double-standard you mean contradiction, then yes, wholly and completely.
I too try to sell things for almost $90 when I desperately want to get rid of it. Makes sense.
Didn’t Taylor Swift write a song about this? “When you’re fifteen…”
GAH. I’m gone for a DAY and LOOK WHAT HAPPENS. Haunted rapey blabber-hussies.
BTW, I know of a girl who traveled all the way across America as a sex-slave (wife-sort-of). SACAGAWEA.
Is San Diego near Sunnydale?
If so, I totally believe her. Hello, people – Hellmouth…
For all you history buffs who know when things were built in San Diego and stuff . . .
The doll LIES! Don’t you remember reading that part?
The doll is attempting to ruin the seller’s credibility!
I’m cracking myself up just typing it, BWAH HAH HAH HAH HAH HAH HAH AHHHHH!! *snort*
It seems pretty hypocritical of her to require that bidders be mentally sound.
cratz @54: I don’t think you can narrow this down to just a single mental disorder. It’s more like a smorgasbord of mental disorders.
BTW fuck all y’all who thumbs downed me. Unless you were *trying* to make people read what I wrote, in which case, hey, thanks!
I remember a couple years ago someone sold a “haunted teddy bear” on EBay. It had the most chilling story behind it, brilliantly written, and he even made a spooky video. The story alone was worth the $500 it ultimately went for (sold to collectors in Japan). But see, here’s the difference. The guy who sold the bear gave it a Stephen King level story. The person trying to sell this doll gave it the V.C. Andrews treatment.
Perhaps I’m being too kind to V.C. Andrews. Or to the seller.
These listing bother me sooooo much!
I buy hundreds of porcelain dolls per year and I never encounter hussies from the 1700′s. I have had over 1500 made in china porcelain dolls in my house over the past 8 years and not a one has *proven* to me that there is anything attached. but this seller has what 8 and they are all full of ghosts????? pshhhhhaw.
Who wants to come over and play “ghost hunter” in my doll room?
And no refund if these dolls don’t poke your orifices, bite your leg, steal your hair, bleed on your towels or rip up your books.
Imagine the guy at the Better Business Bureau who handles this complaint. Ha.
For those wondering why she has so many haunted dolls: she explains in one of the other item descriptions that her aunt died and left her her collection of haunted dolls. She is finding having an entire house full of haunted dolls to be a problem, so she’s selling some and just keeping her favorites.
Of course, that just pushes the question back to how the aunt obtained all of these haunted dolls.
Also, if I were the aunt, and had spent a lifetime amassing the world’s largest collection of haunted dolls*, and my niece decided to sell my life’s work on eBay, I would definitely come back and haunt her–but not in doll form, because then there’d be nothing to stop the ungrateful niece from just selling me.
* Note: she doesn’t actually say that the collection was her aunt’s life’s work, but it would almost have to be, wouldn’t it? One doesn’t just get dozens of haunted dolls by…
I get a lot of my dolls from people who inherited their loved ones doll collections.
i *bet* she tried to sell them for what her aunt thought they were worth and was shocked to learn that people dont pay QVC prices once the doll has been sitting for years in a persons home. That doll is NOT worth $89.
if they were not listed as “haunted” she would be raking in a whole $0.99 to $4.99 per doll on ebay.
I am so confused. Does this seller believe her dolls are haunted? Or, did the teddy-bear seller mentioned above instead “inspire” a whole group of folks, ala Twilight-mania, to try to do the same thing, as pale imitators of the original? Either way, it’s scary/pathetic.
Ahh….. V.C. Andrews…. the (even creepier) Stephenie Meyer of her day……
# 94 knitvincible (a good name as well!)
I gotta tell you, I’d be very surprised if this doll: http://cgi.ebay.com/Real-Haunted-Bright-Spirit-Doll-Powerful-Active-Look_W0QQitemZ220576916372QQcmdZViewItemQQptZLH_DefaultDomain_0?hash=item335b68a394
were bisque porcelain. It is real scary, though. I’ll give her that.
I am just pissed she had a doll named Hazel. That’s my name and there aren’t too many of us under 85 years old in America and now she has to go and make it worse with this shit. If she had put as much effort into getting a real job insted of buying crappy dolls and faking stories she might be better off. Can you imagine the guy who comes to her house for a date and she explains to be careful of dolls shoving things in orfaces or violent masterbating??
What little girl would want a lame-ass doll that only cries and goes to sleep if she could have one that plays with herself violently, bleeds from the groin area, and smells of sweat and alcohol? Out you go, Betsy Wetsy!
Betsy Wetsy Etsy Regretsy?
I guess throwing it in the trash wasn’t an option, even to save the sellers sanity!
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