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WTF Alchemy Request

You know, I’d really like to see one of you guys get this job. So here’s a little template I made to help you bid. Good luck!

CONVO ME ABOUT HALSTON OVEN MITTS

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36 comments on WTF Alchemy Request

  1. supacooljenn
    March 26, 2010 at 4:34 pm

    Hidden due to low comment rating. Click here to see.

    Thumb up Thumb down -3

  2. hamoza
    March 26, 2010 at 4:35 pm

    Perfect for the lala country club set. Hideous. Coco would be snorting from the grave.

    Thumb up Thumb down +14

  3. supacooljenn
    March 26, 2010 at 4:35 pm

    *couture

    Thumb up Thumb down -2

  4. leftfoot
    March 26, 2010 at 4:36 pm

    At least they didn’t ask for Lagerfeld’s penis.

    Thumb up Thumb down +27

  5. mazumi
    March 26, 2010 at 4:37 pm

    I would very much like a set of John Galliano oven mitts.

    http://belindaschneider.files.wordpress.com/2009/01/john_galliano-princess.jpg

    Thumb up Thumb down +7

  6. hamoza
    March 26, 2010 at 4:38 pm

    #3leftfoot, I bet Lagerfelds dick is botoxed to hell like his face.
    This junk should go straight to the sand trap.

    Thumb up Thumb down +11

  7. pdrunk
    March 26, 2010 at 4:38 pm

    I would like to ask you to start a “FTW Alchemy Request” update for requests that seem so out there but seem like such a great idea you wish you had thought of it.

    Thumb up Thumb down +14

  8. pdrunk
    March 26, 2010 at 4:40 pm

    This however would fall under the I’m not exactly sure which side it would end on. Now, if this person were asking for ones in the shape of Rodney Dangerfield or “Too Close for Comfort”‘s Ted Knight, then you would be talking.

    Thumb up Thumb down +2

  9. redredred
    March 26, 2010 at 4:52 pm

    High I’d like nails with the likeness of my ex on the head (is that what the top part is called?) please. I need some inspiration for when I put up my shelves. I am clumsy with that hammer.

    Thumb up Thumb down +10

  10. redredred
    March 26, 2010 at 4:53 pm

    *Hi. My apologies. I didn’t have enough coffee today.

    Thumb up Thumb down 0

  11. Vile & Evil Debbie Downer
    March 26, 2010 at 4:53 pm

    Nope, sorry… all I’m picturing is those elephant or banana undies for men at Frederick’s of Hollywood. Putting a dick in Karl Lagerfeld never would have occurred to me, but whatever.

    Thumb up Thumb down +6

  12. Clare
    March 26, 2010 at 4:54 pm

    Ladies, be proud of your wood. Many men are really into that.

    Thumb up Thumb down +20

  13. razberries
    March 26, 2010 at 4:56 pm

    This is the most random request- who on earth would want this? Must be some inside joke or something…maybe some washed up old supermodel wants it?

    Thumb up Thumb down +19

  14. redredred
    March 26, 2010 at 5:03 pm

    “I’m willing to negotiate on price but need to see your portfolio.”

    Who on Earth has a portfolio that would suit this request?

    Thumb up Thumb down +38

  15. mazumi
    March 26, 2010 at 5:03 pm

    Perhaps Lagerfeld’s ex-husband wants to play golf with the covers still on.

    Thumb up Thumb down +10

  16. blondeweezie
    March 26, 2010 at 5:03 pm

    …The HELL?!?

    Thumb up Thumb down 0

  17. mtopia
    March 26, 2010 at 5:12 pm

    Zero bids. Darn, it’s almost as though this is beyond the capabilities on any mere mortal, even on etsy.

    Thumb up Thumb down +20

  18. bootsychoo
    March 26, 2010 at 5:20 pm

    Larriva, please put KL’s head on a wind-up toy…

    Thumb up Thumb down +16

  19. crazycatlady
    March 26, 2010 at 5:20 pm

    Many things give me lady wood – Karl Lagerfield, golf and any combination of the two…not on the list.

    Thumb up Thumb down +43

  20. MsChristy McKnickers
    March 26, 2010 at 5:53 pm

    Is it bad that I’m just glad she didn’t ask for a matching hand puppet?

    Thumb up Thumb down +10

  21. eternalgreenknight
    March 26, 2010 at 6:07 pm

    No jokes about covering Woods’ wood? I’d HAZARD a guess it’s worn out… oh and the jokes are probably getting old too. ;-)

    Thumb up Thumb down +8

  22. mtopia
    March 26, 2010 at 6:25 pm

    @#20 I could kill you with my Karl hands?

    Thumb up Thumb down 0

  23. HomeAlone
    March 26, 2010 at 6:37 pm

    I don’t know, only 30 bucks offered that bullshit bizarre job? AND they need to see your portfolio? ;/

    Thumb up Thumb down +2

  24. HelenaHandbasket
    March 26, 2010 at 6:40 pm

    I’m sorta surprised it’s requested by a lady (or someone using a lady’s wood, at least). I thought he was most popular with the artsy young men.

    Thumb up Thumb down +2

  25. kipper
    March 26, 2010 at 6:49 pm

    Helen’s template of Lagerfeld — his body actually looks like that.

    You know, I bet that Willie Nelson gourd birdhouse person could come up with something.

    Thumb up Thumb down +24

  26. IscreamUscream
    March 26, 2010 at 7:06 pm

    $30 would not even pay for my design sketch.

    Thumb up Thumb down +13

  27. spandy
    March 26, 2010 at 8:34 pm

    I could make you a Karl Lagerfeld finger puppet for $50.

    Thumb up Thumb down +15

  28. detroit
    March 27, 2010 at 7:05 am

    Bootsychoo! Fantastic idea (having Larriva put Karl’s head on a hopper). I know TONS of fashionistas who would LOVE a hopping Uncle Karl head!! lol!

    Now THERE’s an Alchemy request! I’d pay for that for sure!

    Thumb up Thumb down +3

  29. itsdanilove
    March 27, 2010 at 9:47 am

    Surely s/he should have just contacted the person who made the wind up Bill Nighy instead of casting the net so widely…

    Thumb up Thumb down 0

  30. grapestain
    March 27, 2010 at 11:47 am

    How do you know she wants new, thin, Lagerfeld? Maybe she wants, old, fat Lagerfeld (what his ex-boyfriend calls him), complete with fold out fan. You know, the bloated, old lady style?
    http://www.majoracts.com/wp-content/uploads/2009/12/fat-karl-lagerfeld.jpg

    Thumb up Thumb down +6

  31. HermesGoddess
    March 27, 2010 at 1:41 pm

    Holy shit that’s hilarious!

    Thumb up Thumb down 0

  32. StinkBait
    March 27, 2010 at 5:57 pm

    There is one thing worse than a buyer offering a obscene low ball price in alchemy.

    Sellers offering to do it.

    Thumb up Thumb down 0

  33. Meg88
    March 27, 2010 at 10:05 pm

    How ironic, I just appliqued Tiger Woods’ face onto my Chanel purse.

    Thumb up Thumb down +2

  34. grapestain
    March 28, 2010 at 12:01 am

    #33…I think I just woke up my husband laughing. Mostly at applique, but a little bit about the rest.

    Thumb up Thumb down 0

  35. tejasmom
    March 28, 2010 at 9:59 am

    This is from 2008. http://gofugyourself.celebuzz.com/2008/07/20/82003447.jpg Still want to know how this request came about

    Thumb up Thumb down 0

  36. Wilma Fingerdoo
    March 28, 2010 at 11:54 am

    #13 Raz-
    I think your on to something. Perhaps it’s for Naomi Campbell so she can beat her help with it instead of her cell phone?

    Thumb up Thumb down +1

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