Franch Dressing
What is a Franch Bulldog? Do they come from Frence? How are these even dogs? And what does this have to do with St. Patrick’s Day? Speaking of which, shouldn’t St. Patrick’s Day sales happen before St. Patrick’s Day? Or are you supposed to wear these on 2011? And as long as we have a year, can you make me an Irish Satter?
March 22, 2010 at 1:40 pm
Hidden due to low comment rating. Click here to see.
March 22, 2010 at 1:40 pm
And yet they correctly spelled Swarovski.
These earrings could use less focus.
March 22, 2010 at 1:41 pm
Hidden due to low comment rating. Click here to see.
March 22, 2010 at 1:41 pm
Franch bulldogs chase cattle around, right?
March 22, 2010 at 1:43 pm
Call it whatever you like, I officialy dub it a Mess.
March 22, 2010 at 1:43 pm
I see London,
I see Franch…
March 22, 2010 at 1:43 pm
@ #1, sorry. Bad html. Fixed now.
March 22, 2010 at 1:44 pm
“In honor of our special guest, I’ve created dinner mon dieu — including Franch fries … Franch dressing … and Franch bread…”
If she only wanted $2 for them, I’d swear she was watching “Better Off Dead.”
March 22, 2010 at 1:44 pm
I know, I know!!
It’s phoenetically spelled, as in the way Francophones pronounce the word “French” a la Franch!
no? not so much?
I’ll shut up now… ; )
March 22, 2010 at 1:46 pm
Maybe she has an accent that translates into her spelling?
March 22, 2010 at 1:46 pm
Nothing about this listing makes any sense.
Maybe St. Patrick’s Day translates to something different in Thailand…like, “Mess of Beads That Don’t Resemble a Dog Day”…?
March 22, 2010 at 1:47 pm
OHMYGOD. How did she manage to spell Schnauzer, Papillon, Dachshund, and Chihuahua correctly? I don’t even?
And by the way, thank you for visiting her web.
March 22, 2010 at 1:47 pm
looks like some one dropped some rock candy and the ground then made earrings.
March 22, 2010 at 1:48 pm
French poodle with ranch dressing? Mutant frog ?
Cat eating & expelling beads again? Sugared peas ?
I give up.
March 22, 2010 at 1:48 pm
Oh, this is bullshit! Everyone knows that authentic Franch Bulldogs are well over 2 inches high!
March 22, 2010 at 1:48 pm
Materials used: Swarovski crystals, wire, six pack of Guinness.
March 22, 2010 at 1:50 pm
Hidden due to low comment rating. Click here to see.
March 22, 2010 at 1:51 pm
my posts haven’t been going through either?
March 22, 2010 at 1:51 pm
The seller has an unhealthy fixation with St. Patricks day.
March 22, 2010 at 1:52 pm
Hidden due to low comment rating. Click here to see.
March 22, 2010 at 1:53 pm
@Raz, me too.
Not to pick this one apart, but reading the seller’s bio:
“by Pornnipa Thongnak…I am a lampwork bead artisan and jewellery designer from Thailand”
still…”Franch Bulldogs” and St. Patrick’s day?
March 22, 2010 at 1:55 pm
#7 Helen, whoo, ok good. I was afraid we might be going back to hiding the sellers.
I actually think the other dogs in the shop are cute. Too bad I’m positive those weren’t made outside of a sweatshop.
March 22, 2010 at 1:55 pm
Gah!! nevermind, I’m supposed to be packing anyway. For the record, I’m not an idiot, I just thought there may be a filter or something. Don’t mind my triple post, or if that doesn’t get posted, don’t mind this dumb explanation.
There, I think I’ve got my bases covered…
March 22, 2010 at 1:56 pm
Do Franch bulldogs even celebrate St. Patricks’s Day?
Does that mean Irash setters celebrate Bastille Day?
I am totally confused…
March 22, 2010 at 1:59 pm
Why wasn’t this filed in “Derp”?
March 22, 2010 at 2:05 pm
Im only buyin’ it if she changes the name to fraedom bulldog.. I never did trust those Franch anyways
March 22, 2010 at 2:06 pm
gotta say while I am baffled by the Franch Dogs this is really neat in the sellers shop http://www.etsy.com/view_listing.php?listing_id=43032732
March 22, 2010 at 2:09 pm
The elder brother is female? Hmm..
His poodles are very sparkly but when you wear them the noses will point down so people can’t tell what they are. You will constantly be flipping them up and saying, “No! This is a poodle, not just a clump of beads!” What exhausting jewelry.
http://www.etsy.com/view_listing.php?ref=vt_related_1&listing_id=42660258
March 22, 2010 at 2:10 pm
They mention to be sure to read the listing carefully before BIDDING…
nuff said.
March 22, 2010 at 2:13 pm
@26, cappy, it’s neat, but it ain’t $300 neat!
March 22, 2010 at 2:20 pm
@29 very true but glad to see some thing I can make out what it is. Currently I can only see about half the dog faces must be like that art you stare at and another image comes out.
March 22, 2010 at 2:21 pm
From the seller’s profile:
“nickname: Porn”
March 22, 2010 at 2:28 pm
“I use local materials that are easy to find and create designs in my own style.”
Do Swarovski crystals grow on Thai trees?
March 22, 2010 at 2:37 pm
#31Cumitten, ‘Do Swarovski crystals grow on trees?’
Only when you plant grannys ‘Swarovski grow all bean crystals’and chant, after hitting the etsy pipe of course.
March 22, 2010 at 2:37 pm
What part of this is the part that looks like a bulldog?
March 22, 2010 at 2:39 pm
I have questions:
What the fuck are these?
Is this more therapy crafting?
They cost $39.99?
Are you high?
March 22, 2010 at 2:43 pm
http://farm5.static.flickr.com/4048/4454793795_fdec314311_o.jpg
March 22, 2010 at 2:43 pm
Bulldogs? Bullsh_t ! them are Franch Puddles !
ya’ll know – them FiFi dogs
March 22, 2010 at 2:47 pm
Who the FUCK gave #35 a thumbs down? Because that shit’s hilarious.
March 22, 2010 at 3:04 pm
Fifi Sparkle magic earrings! Eat as many Franch fries as you want! The demons trapped inside will help you lose weight.
March 22, 2010 at 3:05 pm
@Hermes–because humor is just so mean.
March 22, 2010 at 3:19 pm
Maybe a magnifying glass would help.
March 22, 2010 at 3:25 pm
Having spent 150.00 on Swarovski crystals before, and walked away with a package measured in grams, that fit in a teeny-tiny clear baggie, I can see how the crystal bunny was soooo expensive.
On the other hand – having spent that much on crystals – wouldn’t it be better to use them for something like this:
http://picasaweb.google.com/lh/photo/xMAA-bR0m5hK018y7uA3BQ?feat=directlink
March 22, 2010 at 3:27 pm
Oh – my first thought is that a “Franch” Bulldog is created when marinate the Bulldog in french dressing and ranch dressing mixed together for one hour, then slow roast.
March 22, 2010 at 3:35 pm
“#37 HermesGoddess :
Who the FUCK gave #35 a thumbs down? Because that shit’s hilarious.”
Don’t worry, Cosmic Yak is aware of their asshattery.
I was going to post about the ridiculous price, how much you save buying Austrian crystal wholesale, etc. but then I saw this in the profile.
“My name is Pornnipa Thongnak or Nickname : Porn”
March 22, 2010 at 3:39 pm
This “policy” is given for the bunny listing:
Will usually ship within 15 business days of receiving cleared payment.
How on Earth does it take two weeks to ship the damn thing after the check clears? And you can’t even guarantee that rapid turnaround, just that you “usually” ship within 15 days?
March 22, 2010 at 4:15 pm
geektastic- i have been trying to list that damn “porn” joke all day…LOL
helen finally mentioned it wasn’t going thru b/c of stupid wordpress and their porn filters.
porn, porn, PORNNN!
there, i said it. and now i feel so much better.
March 22, 2010 at 4:20 pm
#45 — I haven’t left a thumbs down for anybody! If I did by accident, somebody vote a thumbs up on 35 to cancel me out
March 22, 2010 at 4:24 pm
@steviesegel, Cosmic Yak sees all, he knows you are blameless.
@raz, that’s why so many places on the interwebs it’s spelled pr0n. So wordpress filtered porn, but not penis, vagina, asshat, etc. Huh.
March 22, 2010 at 4:25 pm
Someone hit the Guinness before beading. Obviously, continuously for several days before.
March 22, 2010 at 4:26 pm
…and perhaps some blotter.
March 22, 2010 at 4:27 pm
… and to drink, Peru. (sorry for the obscure movie reference, but it was the first thing that popped into my mind) lol
March 22, 2010 at 4:48 pm
well, I don’t know about the dogs, but she sure has a thing for St. Pat!
March 22, 2010 at 4:58 pm
#36, transformed into The Regretsy Haiku:
What the fuck are these?
Is this therapy crafting?
Wait, and they cost what??
March 22, 2010 at 5:00 pm
For years me & my husband have been saying “what the FRANCH?!” who knew! lol
March 22, 2010 at 5:10 pm
Hee. Haiku makes it all better somehow.
March 22, 2010 at 5:31 pm
#49 Geektastic
My question exactly. We can get fuck on here. We can get pussy, shit…OK, there are a few words I can’t even bring myself to say online. But the thing filters out the word PORN?
Maybe this is what a bulldog (franch or otherwise) looks like when it is turned inside out and crystalized in sugar.
Can’t think of any other explanation.
March 22, 2010 at 5:36 pm
#8 Radical Militant Librarian:
I was thinking the exact same thing! But she would need to include PERU (perrier water) for me to buy those things!
March 22, 2010 at 5:49 pm
I like the way the beads have a Franch Connection.
March 22, 2010 at 6:30 pm
We’re selling this person short. “Franch” is actually an obscure word from Middle English meaning “resembling a clump of rock salt.” True fact.
March 22, 2010 at 6:57 pm
#52 Jodirocks
That movie reference was the first thing I thought of, too! (Just watched it yesterday.)
#54 Spiritwunion
Love, love, LOVE the Regretsy Haiku! Brilliant!
March 22, 2010 at 6:58 pm
In this case, maybe “Franch” is an obscure word meaning “shit” or “worthless.”
March 22, 2010 at 7:08 pm
Check this one out:
http://www.etsy.com/view_listing.php?ref=vl_other_2&listing_id=42825929
Only someone with the nickname “Porn” could craft an ice cream cone that looks (to me anyway) like the result of a happy ending with a partner whose vajazzles couldn’t handle the friction.
March 22, 2010 at 7:13 pm
This just reminds me of the Bollywood film Namaste London where you can choose your subtitles in “ENSLISH”, “FRANCH” and, “SPANISH”.
Maybe this seller really loves Namaste London and much like my friends and I have inside jokes about this kind of thing when we get drunk…
March 22, 2010 at 7:25 pm
Started with beadwork and ended with a hot glue gun.
March 22, 2010 at 7:27 pm
#62 candi40, wtf are we supposed to do with those? And why is the chocolate green?
March 22, 2010 at 7:41 pm
#65 geektastic, sorry but if you don’t know what to do with an “ice cream cone” that has a hole in the tip, covered in vajazzles and dripping spooge… I can’t help you. All I can say is you’re in for a magical adventure, my friend.
(NOTE: Extent of “Magical-ness” determined by amount of “green chocolate” consumed.)
March 22, 2010 at 7:42 pm
Ugh.. sorry, #66 geektastic.
*facepalm*
March 22, 2010 at 8:02 pm
Something about this suggests “reseller,” not just English-is-not-my-first-language.
March 22, 2010 at 8:20 pm
Ah, I remember my days as a youth in the green hills of Ireland,drinking vast amounts of stout beer, telling tales of the Franch bulldog leading all the Swarvoskis out of the country..Good times, good times.
March 22, 2010 at 9:55 pm
Franche is French for frank et franchement c’est un vrai gaspillage de temps.
March 22, 2010 at 10:05 pm
#27 cappysue…. it’s like a 3 dimensional lite brite! Man, that “toy” was a real fucking waste of time…
March 22, 2010 at 10:13 pm
Ooh, and I just realised that it is misspelt in comic sans. That font should be illegal.
March 22, 2010 at 10:22 pm
in ‘mericuh, we say franch…..
March 23, 2010 at 2:47 am
Well here come the Freedom Fries and Freedom Toast again, but at least this time there’s a good reason for it.
March 23, 2010 at 4:54 am
if I used comic sans, I probably wouldn’t know how to spell either.
March 23, 2010 at 7:25 am
yeah, this one is too confused even for my divergent-thinker mind.
They look more like tadpoles.
March 23, 2010 at 7:57 am
Why does Porn quote himself? “I am so proud to think it’s really dumb.”
http://www.etsy.com/people/Blissbead
March 23, 2010 at 8:01 am
@73: Right on: http://2.bp.blogspot.com/_w98gRb0U0AQ/S6jXYcgG6UI/AAAAAAAABvs/zbvcD4j4bPg/s1600-h/New+Image.GIF
March 23, 2010 at 9:26 am
C’est voudrais un tasse de vin after looking at this. It might help it make sense… Or not.
March 23, 2010 at 5:34 pm
I don’t see bulldogs, I see poodle heads. Am I missing something here?