Ok I know jack shit about Twilight, honestly don’t care about the whole vampire forbidden love crap thing, but I am pretty sure Edward isn’t into chickens but human CHICKS!
Personally I am really happy that the Twilight set provides for itself. Bookmarks, art shoes, inverted earthenware pots … you name it, they make it, complete with inane item descriptions. The only thing better than laughing at Twitards is laughing at the stupid shit they make.
I read book being about the wampires. I work hammer and make metal object to help other peoples when they read their wampires book. I write saying from book on back of American penny coin money and put on metal object. You like and buy, yes? I love this country!
I read the book only because my roomie bought it. He heard it was about vampires. A few pages into it he threw it down in disgust and said, “WHY DIDN’T YOU TELL ME IT WAS A BOOK FOR TEENAGERS?” Well, he didn’t tell me he was thinking of buying it. MEN!
As for the guy that plays Edward? He was a good Cedric Diggory, but I just don’t see the attraction. Of course, I’m not 15 either. AND THANK GOD FOR THAT SHIT!
Helen, your photoshopping skills astound me. You are The Master!
My friend’s rooster chased numerous children and attacked my car for its magnum opus. Thinking of ways to get rid of the damn thing, the theme of no blood, no fowl was the underlying current for the sake of the kiddies. That beast had the same look of evil in its eye as the chicken on the book cover. I just might buy this book mark for my friend to remind her of the good old days.
#34 catwithoutacause: I can’t tell from her profile if she’s pretending to be borderline illiterate because she thinks it’s charming or if she really is at the same reading level as a chicken.
#37 sudabaki: bawk bawk baaawk! did you guys also see all the serial killer stuff? and the mention in her profile? she obviously thinks THAT is charming. wtf
I give the seller credit for 2 things-she inspired the brilliant ‘Frylight’, and had the vision to make a stamping that reads ‘crazy as a shithouse rat’.
I done wore out my “thumbs-up” clickin’ finger! As if the ‘shopped covers weren’t enough, y’allz comments are killin’ me!
*Apparently, Patty has been abducted by a redneck.*
As for chickens, I hate to pimp my own blog as such, but I did a blog about my disabled husband and “What’s for dinner?” recently and him saying “BAWK-BAWK!” would be perfect now. (its linked in my screen name). /end self-promotion
She’s had a ton of sales. Lots of cutlery handle rings. Oh my, she sells forks with the handles cut off as hair combs. Stamped with whimsicle sayings of course.
Eye’ve bin thinking about this, maybe the cellar is trying to Micks it up and bee creative. She’s jest moor floury with her language, she board with proper sin tax and con text. She’s keeping it reel.
Spelling issues and twilight-ness aside, isn’t the phrase associated on a more widespread level with sports? At least in America, and I would assume also in any country that features rugby. Of all the lousy quotes to pull from twilight, you would think she’d have decided on one that doesn’t bring to mind ESPN and sweaty jockstraps. She may as well have gone with “Bears? You know, bears are not in season.”
If you guys are shopping on zazzle, make sure to go to the coupon page first http://www.zazzle.com/coupons
to see if there are any coupons you can use. There’s one for 10% off t-shirts through June.
#56 bumblepuppy-don’t get it either, but i could paint a piece of wood black and write something more coherent with a silver sharpie for you. free shipping.
AreYouGoingToEatThatPickle
March 19, 2010 at 2:34 pm
Aww… thanks Raz!! That’s awesome!! ROFL
…and I checked Amazon, I thought there *had* to be a “Chicken Soup for the Twilight Fan’s Soul” out, since there’s one for everything else, and a Twilight version of everything else, but there’s not! …..at least not *yet*!
Twitards disgust me. Mind you, I read all the books and watched both movies just to see what the hype was all about. Needless to say, I couldn’t see it. It made me want to drink bleach.
But “no blood, no foul” isn’t a quote from the book (spelled right or not), it’s been used for ages. Stupid Twitards, thinking Meyer came up with all this crap herself. Geez.
Either way, kudos to all the egg puns. I’m chickening out this round.
AreYouGoingToEatThatPickle
March 19, 2010 at 3:56 pm
@ #63 Prawninator : You’re right – it’s a legal term, used in various contexts. The UN often applies it when trials occur for human rights violations, and I’ve also come across it in reviewing insurance for sporting activities – it has to do with consentual/assumed contact or injury.
All this chicken talk is making me forget about the scratchy, scaly pox – thanks guys! {{hugs}}
AreYouGoingToEatThatPickle
March 19, 2010 at 3:57 pm
…and just out of curiosity, do you think if they lined the chicken coops with some of them there fancy fertility doilies, egg production would increase?
Haven’t seen the movie or read the books. The sum of my Twilight knowledge has been gathered by reading an interview with the insipid author and seeing horrid twitard crafts here. I should re-make the movies using only this knowledge.
#53- at least she’s honest. “This item literally looks like shit! Yayers!”
Apparently the stars of Twilight live really close to my city, and my secret plan is that if I ever see them in public to go Harry Potter crazy and ask that guy (Edward?) what he has been up to since his character was killed off.
“Oh man! Cedric Diggory! You were so great in Harry Potter, too bad that you haven’t done anything cool or interesting since then. Tough break. You had potential. At least you didn’t sell out to some lame franchise.”
Vile & Evil Debbie Downer
March 19, 2010 at 6:23 pm
AreYouGoingToEatThatPickle, may I present: http://twitpic.com/19n9tc
It might be a better read than the original, which I can’t recommend. Made me suicidal for three weeks after I finished.
‘Breaking Eggs’ published by Bantam Books – hahahahhahaaa.
Did anyone else notice that there is an egg in the original picture? Methinks the seller was just being punny. http://twitpic.com/19mw5w
#74 Thanks LaLorna! I’m a bit off a fossil, so I should have known….
I’d say I’ll eat some crow but (@#75) as a long time vegetarian , faux crow it will be.
I hate Twilight. That broad just stole every single concept from True Blood (Sookie Stackhouse seriese by Charlaine Harris) and made it PG 13. What a shame she could not come up with her own ideas.
March 19, 2010 at 9:32 am
I just don’t understand the allure of Twilight and all things twilight related. My mom and little sister adore the series. Gross.
March 19, 2010 at 9:33 am
This is a real cluck..er clunker.
March 19, 2010 at 9:37 am
Ok I know jack shit about Twilight, honestly don’t care about the whole vampire forbidden love crap thing, but I am pretty sure Edward isn’t into chickens but human CHICKS!
Frylight perfection
March 19, 2010 at 9:37 am
Breaking Eggs. That is beautiful. That’s one serious chicken.
March 19, 2010 at 9:39 am
I think someone missed the mark on this one.
March 19, 2010 at 9:41 am
Fry-tardism scrambles my brains.
March 19, 2010 at 9:41 am
I’ve read the first chapter of Twilight, so I am an expert. There is no doubt in my mind that Stephenie Meyer wrote the description for this item.
March 19, 2010 at 9:42 am
And why is it posed next to a glory hole?
March 19, 2010 at 9:46 am
Chicken scratchings. Scratch that, chicken shit.
March 19, 2010 at 9:46 am
*embarrassed*
It was a quote from Edward in Twilight, not the Volturi in New Moon.
And that’s just the first thing that is wrong about this piece of crap book mark.
Love the Frylight book cover Helen – Genius!
March 19, 2010 at 9:55 am
Grammar most fowl. Laughing my head off on a Friday morning, as usually.
March 19, 2010 at 10:00 am
Personally I am really happy that the Twilight set provides for itself. Bookmarks, art shoes, inverted earthenware pots … you name it, they make it, complete with inane item descriptions. The only thing better than laughing at Twitards is laughing at the stupid shit they make.
March 19, 2010 at 10:07 am
And it can be yours for the poultry sum of $5.00!
March 19, 2010 at 10:08 am
What about New Loon?
March 19, 2010 at 10:09 am
That Frylight cover is AWESOME….pity you’d get in a hell of a lot of trouble if you made it into a shirt!
March 19, 2010 at 10:10 am
I read book being about the wampires. I work hammer and make metal object to help other peoples when they read their wampires book. I write saying from book on back of American penny coin money and put on metal object. You like and buy, yes? I love this country!
March 19, 2010 at 10:12 am
Go team chicken!
March 19, 2010 at 10:13 am
I actually misread that it was from one of the “vulturi” in Twilight and wondered briefly which of the characters turns into a bird of prey.
It would probably improve the series, though, no?
March 19, 2010 at 10:16 am
**SOLD**
darn it…I almost pulled the trigger on this myself
March 19, 2010 at 10:22 am
I used to think America would suck less if kids read more. Now, I’m not so sure.
March 19, 2010 at 10:30 am
#12 – Twitards – best new word ever!
March 19, 2010 at 10:31 am
I’m thinking that someone had to read the books to her. Unless they’re now using the Twilight series in literacy programs.
March 19, 2010 at 10:48 am
Can I use it to beat “Twilight” fans to death? If so I may just buy it!
March 19, 2010 at 10:49 am
I read the book only because my roomie bought it. He heard it was about vampires. A few pages into it he threw it down in disgust and said, “WHY DIDN’T YOU TELL ME IT WAS A BOOK FOR TEENAGERS?” Well, he didn’t tell me he was thinking of buying it. MEN!
As for the guy that plays Edward? He was a good Cedric Diggory, but I just don’t see the attraction. Of course, I’m not 15 either. AND THANK GOD FOR THAT SHIT!
Helen, your photoshopping skills astound me. You are The Master!
March 19, 2010 at 10:49 am
*Wiggling eyebrows and flicking cigar*
I’ve heard of “broody” vampires before but this is ridiculous!
March 19, 2010 at 10:50 am
#22 redredred :
She prolly jest wached the moovies.
March 19, 2010 at 10:50 am
Next Book: Egglipse
March 19, 2010 at 10:56 am
Seems that somebody already bit on on this soft-boiled item.
I give Regretsy the credit there
March 19, 2010 at 10:59 am
#26 sudabaki
Yes, I think you’re right.
March 19, 2010 at 11:00 am
Whoever bought it must be so eggcited!
March 19, 2010 at 11:02 am
My friend’s rooster chased numerous children and attacked my car for its magnum opus. Thinking of ways to get rid of the damn thing, the theme of no blood, no fowl was the underlying current for the sake of the kiddies. That beast had the same look of evil in its eye as the chicken on the book cover. I just might buy this book mark for my friend to remind her of the good old days.
March 19, 2010 at 11:04 am
@ #24 – I wish I could take the credit on this one. Bronc is the master; I am only a padawan.
March 19, 2010 at 11:05 am
@Suda, hehe…and yolked themselves.
March 19, 2010 at 11:11 am
omg didya read her profile? i think it’s an insult to wolves though!
March 19, 2010 at 11:13 am
The seller’s name is undeadmushroom 12.
That means there’s at least 11 more of them out there.
And it might explain the spelling issues.
March 19, 2010 at 11:13 am
OMG, Frylight! HAHAHAHAHASNORTHAHAHAHA!
March 19, 2010 at 11:15 am
#34 catwithoutacause: I can’t tell from her profile if she’s pretending to be borderline illiterate because she thinks it’s charming or if she really is at the same reading level as a chicken.
March 19, 2010 at 11:35 am
#37 sudabaki: bawk bawk baaawk! did you guys also see all the serial killer stuff? and the mention in her profile? she obviously thinks THAT is charming. wtf
March 19, 2010 at 11:43 am
I give the seller credit for 2 things-she inspired the brilliant ‘Frylight’, and had the vision to make a stamping that reads ‘crazy as a shithouse rat’.
March 19, 2010 at 11:44 am
#10 Bondgurl, maybe she meant that it’s something the *poultry” say in New Moon, not the volturi? could be why you’re confused…
And, it’s not a bookmark, but apparently an actual book (the abridged version, obviously).
“this book made is made with…”
March 19, 2010 at 11:53 am
I’m happily uninformed here. Is it supposed to be “no blood, no foul”? And what does that mean?
March 19, 2010 at 11:56 am
I done wore out my “thumbs-up” clickin’ finger! As if the ‘shopped covers weren’t enough, y’allz comments are killin’ me!
*Apparently, Patty has been abducted by a redneck.*
As for chickens, I hate to pimp my own blog as such, but I did a blog about my disabled husband and “What’s for dinner?” recently and him saying “BAWK-BAWK!” would be perfect now. (its linked in my screen name). /end self-promotion
March 19, 2010 at 12:13 pm
She’s had a ton of sales. Lots of cutlery handle rings. Oh my, she sells forks with the handles cut off as hair combs. Stamped with whimsicle sayings of course.
March 19, 2010 at 12:16 pm
Eye’ve bin thinking about this, maybe the cellar is trying to Micks it up and bee creative. She’s jest moor floury with her language, she board with proper sin tax and con text. She’s keeping it reel.
March 19, 2010 at 12:18 pm
I smell a photoshop contest!!
Using a chicken/egg/rooster/poultry related fuckery, redesign a famous book cover. I can’t begin to imagine some of the submissions!
March 19, 2010 at 12:18 pm
I don’t know anything about Twilight except that it makes people retardsy. Did the seller mispell something? Or is it a misquote?
March 19, 2010 at 12:21 pm
#46 Efit: Here’s your first clue: there are no chickens in the story.
March 19, 2010 at 12:22 pm
Spelling issues and twilight-ness aside, isn’t the phrase associated on a more widespread level with sports? At least in America, and I would assume also in any country that features rugby. Of all the lousy quotes to pull from twilight, you would think she’d have decided on one that doesn’t bring to mind ESPN and sweaty jockstraps. She may as well have gone with “Bears? You know, bears are not in season.”
March 19, 2010 at 12:22 pm
LOLZZZZ
Yeah, I figured. But that story is so fucking idiotic that I thought somehow chickens *were* involved.
March 19, 2010 at 12:23 pm
sudabaki© with Redneck ebonics FTW!!
March 19, 2010 at 12:27 pm
If you guys are shopping on zazzle, make sure to go to the coupon page first http://www.zazzle.com/coupons
to see if there are any coupons you can use. There’s one for 10% off t-shirts through June.
March 19, 2010 at 12:34 pm
http://www.etsy.com/view_listing.php?ref=vl_other_2&listing_id=34705685
Uri Geller wannabe?
March 19, 2010 at 12:36 pm
oh god, she knits too.
http://www.etsy.com/view_listing.php?listing_id=16982273
“Haha it looks like a poop OH BUT IT’S A CUTE HAT, CUTE, YOU SHOULD BUY IT. But it looks like poop.”
March 19, 2010 at 12:42 pm
maybe she meant Vulturi…? (ya know, vultures? get it?) eh, i give up…
great photoshops by Bronc!
March 19, 2010 at 1:07 pm
i’m surprised no one mentioned it……total clucker fuck!
and Helen, you ARE the best padawan of “shopped” fuckery
March 19, 2010 at 1:10 pm
Someone please explain this to me:
http://www.etsy.com/view_listing.php?listing_id=16377158
“if i found you floating in my pool id punish my dog”
????
March 19, 2010 at 1:12 pm
areyougoingtoeatthatpickle…for you…
http://farm3.static.flickr.com/2721/4446374806_7506f26541.jpg
March 19, 2010 at 1:14 pm
Oh, found something else for those who wanted the bookmark:
http://www.etsy.com/view_listing.php?listing_id=15747651
March 19, 2010 at 1:39 pm
holy crap, she did it twice! what a maroon! sorry, no caps when typing one handed.
March 19, 2010 at 1:41 pm
#56 bumblepuppy-don’t get it either, but i could paint a piece of wood black and write something more coherent with a silver sharpie for you. free shipping.
March 19, 2010 at 2:34 pm
Aww… thanks Raz!! That’s awesome!!
ROFL
…and I checked Amazon, I thought there *had* to be a “Chicken Soup for the Twilight Fan’s Soul” out, since there’s one for everything else, and a Twilight version of everything else, but there’s not! …..at least not *yet*!
March 19, 2010 at 2:56 pm
goddamnit, that was amazing. thanks for making me spit Tang all over my keyboard, HK.
March 19, 2010 at 3:00 pm
Twitards disgust me. Mind you, I read all the books and watched both movies just to see what the hype was all about. Needless to say, I couldn’t see it. It made me want to drink bleach.
But “no blood, no foul” isn’t a quote from the book (spelled right or not), it’s been used for ages. Stupid Twitards, thinking Meyer came up with all this crap herself. Geez.
Either way, kudos to all the egg puns. I’m chickening out this round.
March 19, 2010 at 3:01 pm
Ah…finally, the inevitable blowback from the Chik-fil-A cows’ “Eet mor chikin” campaign. “No harm no fowl!”
March 19, 2010 at 3:24 pm
Chicken Soup for Vampire Soul (blog post)
http://www.twisted-dna.com/2009/02/23/chicken-soup-for-vampire-soul/
make sure you scroll down for the graphics
March 19, 2010 at 3:56 pm
@ #63 Prawninator : You’re right – it’s a legal term, used in various contexts. The UN often applies it when trials occur for human rights violations, and I’ve also come across it in reviewing insurance for sporting activities – it has to do with consentual/assumed contact or injury.
All this chicken talk is making me forget about the scratchy, scaly pox – thanks guys! {{hugs}}
March 19, 2010 at 3:57 pm
…and just out of curiosity, do you think if they lined the chicken coops with some of them there fancy fertility doilies, egg production would increase?
March 19, 2010 at 4:33 pm
Hidden due to low comment rating. Click here to see.
March 19, 2010 at 5:09 pm
Haven’t seen the movie or read the books. The sum of my Twilight knowledge has been gathered by reading an interview with the insipid author and seeing horrid twitard crafts here. I should re-make the movies using only this knowledge.
#53- at least she’s honest. “This item literally looks like shit! Yayers!”
March 19, 2010 at 5:57 pm
Apparently the stars of Twilight live really close to my city, and my secret plan is that if I ever see them in public to go Harry Potter crazy and ask that guy (Edward?) what he has been up to since his character was killed off.
“Oh man! Cedric Diggory! You were so great in Harry Potter, too bad that you haven’t done anything cool or interesting since then. Tough break. You had potential. At least you didn’t sell out to some lame franchise.”
March 19, 2010 at 6:23 pm
AreYouGoingToEatThatPickle, may I present:
http://twitpic.com/19n9tc
It might be a better read than the original, which I can’t recommend. Made me suicidal for three weeks after I finished.
‘Breaking Eggs’ published by Bantam Books – hahahahhahaaa.
Did anyone else notice that there is an egg in the original picture? Methinks the seller was just being punny.
http://twitpic.com/19mw5w
March 19, 2010 at 6:52 pm
@ #71 Vile & Evil Debbie Downer : Something tells me that will be a much shorter read than the original! ha ha
March 19, 2010 at 6:58 pm
Raz, VEDD
March 19, 2010 at 7:23 pm
#68 harmoza – “maroon” is an old-timey insult, wildly un-PC in nature. Bugs Bunny frequently said of his opponents, “what a maroon!”
March 19, 2010 at 7:55 pm
I don’t know about vampires, but I am waiting for Chicken Soup for the Vegetarian Soul.
March 19, 2010 at 8:42 pm
#74 Thanks LaLorna! I’m a bit off a fossil, so I should have known….
I’d say I’ll eat some crow but (@#75) as a long time vegetarian , faux crow it will be.
March 19, 2010 at 9:06 pm
Hidden due to low comment rating. Click here to see.
March 19, 2010 at 9:13 pm
Everything I know about Twilight I learned from Regretsy, and I’m now thoroughly confused.
March 19, 2010 at 9:56 pm
All this Twilight shit almost makes me tempted to watch the movies or something…almost…
March 20, 2010 at 1:46 pm
I hate Twilight. That broad just stole every single concept from True Blood (Sookie Stackhouse seriese by Charlaine Harris) and made it PG 13. What a shame she could not come up with her own ideas.
March 20, 2010 at 1:48 pm
What the heck is a book made?
March 22, 2010 at 8:10 am
covers not pictured:
egglipse,
new moons over my hammy
March 22, 2010 at 12:43 pm
I LOVE the covers. Especially Breaking Eggs. Of course, I’m chicken(pants) biased… Thank you, HK! (Danorz, love your comment!)
March 22, 2010 at 2:10 pm
Twilight can be summarized as a parade of constipated emo teens with lots of makeup and hair gel.
I would have liked movies made out of Breaking Eggs and Frylight much better.
March 23, 2010 at 3:12 am
OMG my husband rented the New Moon video this weekend and I can easily say it should be nominated for worst movie-EVER!
March 28, 2010 at 2:39 am
The Rifftrax almost make them watchable.