I’m less offended by the misspelling and more offended by this person charging $6.50 for a fucking $0.50 folded piece of paper because it’s wedding related.
this is such a joke…your wedding day is supposed to be like one of the biggest days of your life. and this is what they’re advertising? has anyone ever heard of spell check?
i hope “michelle and anthony” got a freakin’ refund!
Well, so far we know that speaches are served before the cake at weddings, but we don’t know why, and that it takes an hour to eat them, we don’t know why either.
Here’s my wedding speach: “Most people believe that a grain of sand somewhat buys an expensive gift for the formless void, but they need to remember how hardly an abstraction about a wedding dress ruminates.”
That’s a quote from a spam mail I received today. It has some really pithy platitudes
AreYouGoingToEatThatPickle
March 19, 2010 at 2:45 pm
I’m more confused by the “cocktails” for two solid hours prior to dinner which has been allocated only an hour-and-a-half.
….then again, if the guests are drinking for two hours on an empty stomach, prior to eating, maybe it’s best they don’t feed them much!
If I was at that wedding, I’d save my bowl of speaches (presumably they’re served in a bowl?? Maybe a goblet like in the Fancy-Feast commercial??) to eat alongside my cake!
The next speach was provided by Paula Dean. She says it will knock your socks off right into the washer and guaranteed to list butter within the first three ingredients. It will be followed by some drunk guy screaming about how this is the most beautiful wedding he’s ever been to coupled with how the government is threatening to take over his medicare. Oh and don’t do porn.
I have a sinking feeling that the wedding finished by 10pm- after 90 minutes of speaches and cake cutting those guests will have been cutting their losses. Poor Michelle and Anthony!
@48 That mental image made me feel a bit ill. Blech. That said, the word speaches could only sound worse if it was “spleaches.” Typos have the power to paint a really disturbing picture. For example: Anne of Green Bagels.
Do you guys ever wonder what these celebs think when they come across this type of shit? I mean yeah, you’re famous, but can’t you still get the heebie-jeebies when you see yourself painted on a gourd, with a giant hole on your chest FOR A BIRD TO LIVE INSIDE???
Bondgurl, it’s like seeing as celebrity in the bathroom at the airport when they’re on their way back from a trip to Mexico that didn’t agree with their intestines.
March 19, 2010 at 1:32 pm
They’re like peaches, but with more… okay, I got nothing.
March 19, 2010 at 1:32 pm
Oh great…a speach cobbler!
Every wedding should have one.
March 19, 2010 at 1:34 pm
mmmmm… speaches…..(drool)
March 19, 2010 at 1:34 pm
Guest at table: “I’m gonna duck out after dinner and befor the cutting of the cake, ’cause I don’t know what the fuck is going on for an hour.”
March 19, 2010 at 1:34 pm
I guess they are going to skip the toeast that the Beast man usually gives??
March 19, 2010 at 1:34 pm
I knew my wedding was missing something!
March 19, 2010 at 1:38 pm
Just what a wedding needs – an itinerary.
“You know the wedding planner will be PISSED if we don’t manage the bouquet-throwing by quarter after…”
March 19, 2010 at 1:40 pm
I’m less offended by the misspelling and more offended by this person charging $6.50 for a fucking $0.50 folded piece of paper because it’s wedding related.
March 19, 2010 at 1:40 pm
“Timeline”? ??? All I can think of is “500 Years of Roman Rulers” and its ilk, filling the bottom third of history textbook pages everywhere.
March 19, 2010 at 1:42 pm
this is such a joke…your wedding day is supposed to be like one of the biggest days of your life. and this is what they’re advertising? has anyone ever heard of spell check?
i hope “michelle and anthony” got a freakin’ refund!
March 19, 2010 at 1:46 pm
I hope the “speaches” aren’t canned. Ar ar ar.
March 19, 2010 at 1:47 pm
You eat speaches with your spork.
March 19, 2010 at 1:47 pm
Timeline? Really? Because people have no idea what goes on at a wedding reception?
March 19, 2010 at 1:50 pm
I don’t know which disturbs me more – the completely avoidable misspelling, or the prospect having to endure an hour of speechifying at the reception.
March 19, 2010 at 1:54 pm
SPEACH TO ME, SPEACH TO ME!!!!!!!
March 19, 2010 at 1:55 pm
Instead of hitting the etsy pipe, maybe she has been spending a little time at a speakeasy.
March 19, 2010 at 1:57 pm
Speaches sounds so tempting, like a peachy dessert with a bit of puff pastry and jelly.. Crap NOW I WANT SOME SPEACHES! Someone invent them QUICK!
March 19, 2010 at 1:59 pm
I have some frozen peaches, but no puff pastry. Anybody got some?
March 19, 2010 at 2:05 pm
Thumbs-downers, the eyes of the Yak are upon thee.
March 19, 2010 at 2:10 pm
@unemployed
ar ar ar!
March 19, 2010 at 2:15 pm
those time share people are real tricksters.
March 19, 2010 at 2:17 pm
Well, so far we know that speaches are served before the cake at weddings, but we don’t know why, and that it takes an hour to eat them, we don’t know why either.
I’m dying for a speach..
March 19, 2010 at 2:30 pm
Wedding attendees don’t give two shits about a stupid timeline. They are there to get drunk, get humiliated, and get laid by the slutty bridesmaid.
Please.
March 19, 2010 at 2:30 pm
Maybe that’s slang for shooters of peach schnapps?
March 19, 2010 at 2:33 pm
Kling Speaches
March 19, 2010 at 2:43 pm
Is that anything like Klingons? Cling ons?
March 19, 2010 at 2:45 pm
Here’s my wedding speach: “Most people believe that a grain of sand somewhat buys an expensive gift for the formless void, but they need to remember how hardly an abstraction about a wedding dress ruminates.”
That’s a quote from a spam mail I received today. It has some really pithy platitudes
March 19, 2010 at 2:45 pm
I’m more confused by the “cocktails” for two solid hours prior to dinner which has been allocated only an hour-and-a-half.
….then again, if the guests are drinking for two hours on an empty stomach, prior to eating, maybe it’s best they don’t feed them much!
If I was at that wedding, I’d save my bowl of speaches (presumably they’re served in a bowl?? Maybe a goblet like in the Fancy-Feast commercial??) to eat alongside my cake!
March 19, 2010 at 2:47 pm
Not only will the speaches be canned, but the laughter will be too.
March 19, 2010 at 2:50 pm
At 7:30 we will have speaches by the breast man, the made of honor, and the smother of the bride.
March 19, 2010 at 2:55 pm
The speach has had too much to drink
http://i761.photobucket.com/albums/xx256/geektastic_whimsy/Regretsy%20NSFW/speach.png
March 19, 2010 at 2:55 pm
“First of all…I’d like to congratulate the Bride and Broom….”
(At least the tent card isn’t made from an “upcycled” truffle box.)
March 19, 2010 at 3:16 pm
You don’t like the speach jokes? It’s okay, we’ll be hear all weak.
March 19, 2010 at 3:21 pm
Someone doesn’t like them. We need to track them down and send a yak to their house.
March 19, 2010 at 3:31 pm
Why not use upcycled postcards?
March 19, 2010 at 3:45 pm
Please feel free to sign the gest book.
March 19, 2010 at 3:47 pm
Geektastic: You’re killing me with the Yak!! lol
March 19, 2010 at 3:56 pm
The actual itinerary looked like this:
http://twitpic.com/19mbs5
March 19, 2010 at 4:01 pm
@unemployed, this one’s for you
http://farm5.static.flickr.com/4067/4446694222_1fcb0419e8_o.jpg
March 19, 2010 at 4:08 pm
It lets you plan when to have several strong drinks in order to survive the hour long speaches. Let me me too drunk by then to notice
March 19, 2010 at 4:12 pm
#38VEDD , bwahahaha, make mine peachy jello.
March 19, 2010 at 4:42 pm
ISUS: I love it. Heart heart.
March 19, 2010 at 4:51 pm
The next speach was provided by Paula Dean. She says it will knock your socks off right into the washer and guaranteed to list butter within the first three ingredients. It will be followed by some drunk guy screaming about how this is the most beautiful wedding he’s ever been to coupled with how the government is threatening to take over his medicare. Oh and don’t do porn.
March 19, 2010 at 4:54 pm
I have a sinking feeling that the wedding finished by 10pm- after 90 minutes of speaches and cake cutting those guests will have been cutting their losses. Poor Michelle and Anthony!
March 19, 2010 at 5:15 pm
ISUS, that deserves COTD, in my humble opinion.
bwaaaaaaaaaahaaaaaaaaaaa
March 19, 2010 at 5:24 pm
I second that, ISUS- COTD definitely!
March 19, 2010 at 5:27 pm
Actually it’s Michael and Anthony.
March 19, 2010 at 5:32 pm
Hehe…thanks!
I just happened to find a “Celebrity” brand peach can–and couldn’t resist.
March 19, 2010 at 5:44 pm
Speaches served in porcelain bowels. Yum.
March 19, 2010 at 5:48 pm
@48 That mental image made me feel a bit ill. Blech. That said, the word speaches could only sound worse if it was “spleaches.” Typos have the power to paint a really disturbing picture. For example: Anne of Green Bagels.
March 19, 2010 at 5:49 pm
@ISUS *hahahahaha*wipes tear* awesomesauce!
March 19, 2010 at 6:15 pm
sponge + peaches = speaches
just like sponge + ham = Spam
March 19, 2010 at 8:09 pm
@geektastic, thanks–and I’ve seen your cool PS work too.
March 19, 2010 at 8:50 pm
I want to know who’s hand is in this picture:
http://www.etsy.com/view_listing.php?listing_id=15128361
Those things are only 1.5″ round, so… is that a pudgy little kid or the guy from the BK commercial with the *small hands?*
March 19, 2010 at 9:16 pm
It’s likely a result of the 3 1/2 hours of cocktails.
March 19, 2010 at 9:42 pm
Do you guys ever wonder what these celebs think when they come across this type of shit? I mean yeah, you’re famous, but can’t you still get the heebie-jeebies when you see yourself painted on a gourd, with a giant hole on your chest FOR A BIRD TO LIVE INSIDE???
March 19, 2010 at 9:44 pm
wrong entry. Sigh.
March 19, 2010 at 10:05 pm
” #38 Vile & Evil Debbie Downer :
The actual itinerary looked like this:
http://twitpic.com/19mbs5 ”
Looks like all the weddings I’ve been too haha!
March 19, 2010 at 10:19 pm
At the risk of an onslaught of “thumbs-down”, I know this seller, and she is a creative and talented person.
I am a little giddy about personally knowing a regretsy-featured artist though, it’s like seeing a celebrety in the bathroom at the airport.
March 19, 2010 at 10:27 pm
bondgurl, do you think you could get a piece of toilet paper autographed for me?
March 19, 2010 at 11:09 pm
#52 IscreamUscream thanks, that is a great compliment coming from you. Doing the PS stuff occupies my excess free time and cheers me up.
March 19, 2010 at 11:46 pm
Maybe they were literally speechless.
March 19, 2010 at 11:50 pm
Bondgurl, it’s like seeing as celebrity in the bathroom at the airport when they’re on their way back from a trip to Mexico that didn’t agree with their intestines.
March 20, 2010 at 8:53 am
Most. Boring. Wedding. Ever.
March 20, 2010 at 10:28 am
Late to the party, but here it goes
Speaches come in a can, they were put there by a man
in a factory downtown
If I had my little way, I’d eat speaches every day…
Millions of speaches speaches for me, millons of speaches speaches for free!
My apologies to everyone and to the Presidents of the USA
March 20, 2010 at 6:46 pm
Who here is a Deadwood fan? Because this cocksucker can’t fucking spell PEACHES.
March 21, 2010 at 11:28 am
Where is the throwing of the “booqay”?
March 21, 2010 at 12:13 pm
What almost peeves me more than the typo – the L is cut off at the top of the loop. That’s klassy with a k.
March 21, 2010 at 4:13 pm
Thanks all, for making me guffaw @ the Starbucks! Free wifi while out of town… went to a wedding yesterday, actually, but sadly, no speaches!
March 21, 2010 at 4:36 pm
#65 HermesGoddess
Dan, get the fucking peaches. We’re having a meeting.
(that may be paraphrased)
March 21, 2010 at 5:40 pm
I think your quote was damn near perfect, geektastic.
March 23, 2010 at 3:10 am
They’re movin’ to the scountry, gonna eat a lot of speaches.