Except, perhaps, correct spelling.
They’re like peaches, but with more… okay, I got nothing.
Oh great…a speach cobbler!
Every wedding should have one.
Guest at table: “I’m gonna duck out after dinner and befor the cutting of the cake, ’cause I don’t know what the fuck is going on for an hour.”
I guess they are going to skip the toeast that the Beast man usually gives??
I knew my wedding was missing something!
Just what a wedding needs – an itinerary.
“You know the wedding planner will be PISSED if we don’t manage the bouquet-throwing by quarter after…”
I’m less offended by the misspelling and more offended by this person charging $6.50 for a fucking $0.50 folded piece of paper because it’s wedding related.
“Timeline”? ??? All I can think of is “500 Years of Roman Rulers” and its ilk, filling the bottom third of history textbook pages everywhere.
this is such a joke…your wedding day is supposed to be like one of the biggest days of your life. and this is what they’re advertising? has anyone ever heard of spell check?
i hope “michelle and anthony” got a freakin’ refund!
I hope the “speaches” aren’t canned. Ar ar ar.
You eat speaches with your spork.
Timeline? Really? Because people have no idea what goes on at a wedding reception?
I don’t know which disturbs me more – the completely avoidable misspelling, or the prospect having to endure an hour of speechifying at the reception.
SPEACH TO ME, SPEACH TO ME!!!!!!!
Instead of hitting the etsy pipe, maybe she has been spending a little time at a speakeasy.
Speaches sounds so tempting, like a peachy dessert with a bit of puff pastry and jelly.. Crap NOW I WANT SOME SPEACHES! Someone invent them QUICK!
I have some frozen peaches, but no puff pastry. Anybody got some?
Thumbs-downers, the eyes of the Yak are upon thee.
@unemployed ar ar ar!
those time share people are real tricksters.
Well, so far we know that speaches are served before the cake at weddings, but we don’t know why, and that it takes an hour to eat them, we don’t know why either.
I’m dying for a speach..
Wedding attendees don’t give two shits about a stupid timeline. They are there to get drunk, get humiliated, and get laid by the slutty bridesmaid.
Maybe that’s slang for shooters of peach schnapps?
Is that anything like Klingons? Cling ons?
Here’s my wedding speach: “Most people believe that a grain of sand somewhat buys an expensive gift for the formless void, but they need to remember how hardly an abstraction about a wedding dress ruminates.”
That’s a quote from a spam mail I received today. It has some really pithy platitudes
I’m more confused by the “cocktails” for two solid hours prior to dinner which has been allocated only an hour-and-a-half.
….then again, if the guests are drinking for two hours on an empty stomach, prior to eating, maybe it’s best they don’t feed them much!
If I was at that wedding, I’d save my bowl of speaches (presumably they’re served in a bowl?? Maybe a goblet like in the Fancy-Feast commercial??) to eat alongside my cake!
Not only will the speaches be canned, but the laughter will be too.
At 7:30 we will have speaches by the breast man, the made of honor, and the smother of the bride.
The speach has had too much to drink
“First of all…I’d like to congratulate the Bride and Broom….”
(At least the tent card isn’t made from an “upcycled” truffle box.)
You don’t like the speach jokes? It’s okay, we’ll be hear all weak.
Someone doesn’t like them. We need to track them down and send a yak to their house.
Why not use upcycled postcards?
Please feel free to sign the gest book.
Geektastic: You’re killing me with the Yak!! lol
The actual itinerary looked like this:
@unemployed, this one’s for you
It lets you plan when to have several strong drinks in order to survive the hour long speaches. Let me me too drunk by then to notice
#38VEDD , bwahahaha, make mine peachy jello.
ISUS: I love it. Heart heart.
The next speach was provided by Paula Dean. She says it will knock your socks off right into the washer and guaranteed to list butter within the first three ingredients. It will be followed by some drunk guy screaming about how this is the most beautiful wedding he’s ever been to coupled with how the government is threatening to take over his medicare. Oh and don’t do porn.
I have a sinking feeling that the wedding finished by 10pm- after 90 minutes of speaches and cake cutting those guests will have been cutting their losses. Poor Michelle and Anthony!
ISUS, that deserves COTD, in my humble opinion.
I second that, ISUS- COTD definitely!
Actually it’s Michael and Anthony.
I just happened to find a “Celebrity” brand peach can–and couldn’t resist.
Speaches served in porcelain bowels. Yum.
@48 That mental image made me feel a bit ill. Blech. That said, the word speaches could only sound worse if it was “spleaches.” Typos have the power to paint a really disturbing picture. For example: Anne of Green Bagels.
@ISUS *hahahahaha*wipes tear* awesomesauce!
sponge + peaches = speaches
just like sponge + ham = Spam
@geektastic, thanks–and I’ve seen your cool PS work too.
I want to know who’s hand is in this picture:
Those things are only 1.5″ round, so… is that a pudgy little kid or the guy from the BK commercial with the *small hands?*
It’s likely a result of the 3 1/2 hours of cocktails.
Do you guys ever wonder what these celebs think when they come across this type of shit? I mean yeah, you’re famous, but can’t you still get the heebie-jeebies when you see yourself painted on a gourd, with a giant hole on your chest FOR A BIRD TO LIVE INSIDE???
wrong entry. Sigh.
” #38 Vile & Evil Debbie Downer :
The actual itinerary looked like this:
Looks like all the weddings I’ve been too haha!
At the risk of an onslaught of “thumbs-down”, I know this seller, and she is a creative and talented person.
I am a little giddy about personally knowing a regretsy-featured artist though, it’s like seeing a celebrety in the bathroom at the airport.
bondgurl, do you think you could get a piece of toilet paper autographed for me?
#52 IscreamUscream thanks, that is a great compliment coming from you. Doing the PS stuff occupies my excess free time and cheers me up.
Maybe they were literally speechless.
Bondgurl, it’s like seeing as celebrity in the bathroom at the airport when they’re on their way back from a trip to Mexico that didn’t agree with their intestines.
Most. Boring. Wedding. Ever.
Late to the party, but here it goes
Speaches come in a can, they were put there by a man
in a factory downtown
If I had my little way, I’d eat speaches every day…
Millions of speaches speaches for me, millons of speaches speaches for free!
My apologies to everyone and to the Presidents of the USA
Who here is a Deadwood fan? Because this cocksucker can’t fucking spell PEACHES.
Where is the throwing of the “booqay”?
What almost peeves me more than the typo – the L is cut off at the top of the loop. That’s klassy with a k.
Thanks all, for making me guffaw @ the Starbucks! Free wifi while out of town… went to a wedding yesterday, actually, but sadly, no speaches!
Dan, get the fucking peaches. We’re having a meeting.
(that may be paraphrased)
I think your quote was damn near perfect, geektastic.
They’re movin’ to the scountry, gonna eat a lot of speaches.
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