Oh….kaaaaaaay…. um… I’ll take a Malkovich gourde birdhouse for $30. For $130, that thing had better mow my lawn while looking like a creepy quadruple amputee with birds nesting in his gut.
I can see a married couple sitting in their kitchen, having breakfast. The husband is looking over his newspaper, and the wife is and staring out the window and admiring this from afar:
Wife: “Hey, I think a bird is living in Willie Nelson!”
Husband (uninterested): “Uh-huh. You mean, like…in his beard?”
“No, I mean in the Gourd Birdhouse that I bought on Etsy!”
“Yeah? You think? How can you tell?”
“Well, he’s got a pecker sticking out of his chest.”
AreYouGoingToEatThatPickle
March 19, 2010 at 4:50 pm
It’s peculiar and tacky; but the detail in the face is well executed… I bet s/he could do some good portraiture work if s/he stopped wasting time painting squash!
@ #2 bumblepuppy : Don’t ask me how I know this, but Willie’s guitar strap is almost always red, white & blue!
On a serious note, none of this stuff should actually be put out for birds. Stuff that’s way too long for nesting material but will be used (and strangle some birds), pacifiers and beads, steel wool, and it sounds like she doesn’t seal the insides. If she sold them as decorative, ok, but she doesn’t. Besides what it’s going to look like after a year outside with birds on it.
/wildlife rant
http://www.etsy.com/view_listing.php?listing_id=37081877
At least the hole in this one is high enough up to keep the nestlings in. O don’t understand how one is supposed to hang these. And there is just something wrong about having your mouth open around birds. Gross.
I think there is a reason why this person has no sales. Any bird would be scared of this or any of them. Although may make a great father’s day present for my father-in-law who is into bird-watching. And hey it may be worth more someday since it’s signed by the artist.
Agreed. Waay more than I’d pay for a Willy Nelson birdhouse gourd, but I suppose if you were in the market for a hand painted Willy Nelson birdhouse gourd this would be the Willy Nelson birdhouse gourd to purchase. I just suspect the list of people in the market for a Willy Nelson birdhouse gourd is rather short.
It’s the neck that really gets me. It’s like all fine (or as fine as such a thing could be), and then it’s like the person just gave up on the neck. I find it hard to look at.
I notice that the only provided view is straight-on to show the front… whoever buys the damn thing is going to be wildly disappointed when it turns out that it looks even wonkier from any other angle.
well there’s the back to consider, although I had in mind the fact that the shading, while done well from a 2D perspective, isn’t designed with the 3D medium in mind… Those neck folds are going to look really odd from the side. And the flat nose, and brow-line.
To all the gourds I’ve loved before
Who’ve housed the wrens and doves and more,
I think I got it wrong,
I should have made a bong,
From all the gourds I’ve loved before…
Do you guys ever wonder what these celebs think when they come across this type of shit? I mean yeah, you’re famous, but can’t you still get the heebie-jeebies when you see yourself painted on a gourd, with a giant hole on your chest FOR A BIRD TO LIVE INSIDE???
Aww I was actually into this one http://www.etsy.com/view_listing.php?listing_id=37574721 until I clicked on the second picture scrolled down and realized the “Fish” was really a just a sperm…on a string…and next to something that required some horrible photoshopping.
How do the birds *know* to crawl in the tiny hole in Willy Nelson’s chest? Has Willy Nelson actually had a bird-boring-holes-in-chest problem in real life?
if it weren’t so expensive, i’d actually buy it for my mom to go with her HIDEOUS gourd Santa that she proudly displays every year. (and that my brother and i would hide every year as kids.)
AreYouGoingToEatThatPickle
March 20, 2010 at 2:22 pm
Late to the party, but what the hell:
On a gourd again
I am painted on a gourd again
I hang out here on the porch beside my friends
I am painted on a gourd again
On a gourd again
Flying birds, they make their nests within
In spring they hatch and are never seen again
I am painted on a gourd again
On a gourd again
With a pistol Grandpa shoots at the sparrows
Sitting on the porch as friends
Insisting that the birds nest in my belly
In my belly
On a gourd again
WHY has the seller photoshopped the background out of this picture? That looks horribly unprofessional. The edges of the image are all smudged and faded, it dosnt even look real.
I personally don’t like painted gourds, but given that…Its actually rather well done. hmm…I wish they’d do more pics, better description though.
I don’t like when people use holes in things as mouths, though. They always end up looking sex-doll-ish. And the Stevie doll…his hole looks like an anus. (I’m really sorry, really, truly–but it does).
March 19, 2010 at 4:33 pm
Gourd-awful.
March 19, 2010 at 4:33 pm
What happened to his neck? And when did Willy win an Olympic medal?
March 19, 2010 at 4:35 pm
Oh….kaaaaaaay…. um… I’ll take a Malkovich gourde birdhouse for $30. For $130, that thing had better mow my lawn while looking like a creepy quadruple amputee with birds nesting in his gut.
March 19, 2010 at 4:35 pm
How much birdshit can a person take in one day? OMFG I skeered to read the details….
March 19, 2010 at 4:35 pm
That’s just amazing… Grace
March 19, 2010 at 4:36 pm
Hidden due to low comment rating. Click here to see.
March 19, 2010 at 4:36 pm
EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEK: http://www.etsy.com/view_listing.php?listing_id=32503327
March 19, 2010 at 4:36 pm
I’m so sure that the maker of this smokes more MJ than Willy.
March 19, 2010 at 4:37 pm
Is the hair provided for nesting material?
March 19, 2010 at 4:38 pm
Oh my gourd, it’s Big Ears! Where’s Noddy? I want a matching pair.
March 19, 2010 at 4:38 pm
To all the birds I’ve loved before…who traveled in and out my….tracheotomy?
March 19, 2010 at 4:39 pm
Hidden due to low comment rating. Click here to see.
March 19, 2010 at 4:43 pm
@meanbeads: I just snorted wine out of my nose. Good one!
March 19, 2010 at 4:43 pm
A bird would have to be stoned to live inside that thing!
March 19, 2010 at 4:43 pm
$130?? That gal’s head is as hollow as Willy’s gourd gut.
March 19, 2010 at 4:44 pm
Bird house – NO
Scarecrow YES!
March 19, 2010 at 4:49 pm
I can see a married couple sitting in their kitchen, having breakfast. The husband is looking over his newspaper, and the wife is and staring out the window and admiring this from afar:
Wife: “Hey, I think a bird is living in Willie Nelson!”
Husband (uninterested): “Uh-huh. You mean, like…in his beard?”
“No, I mean in the Gourd Birdhouse that I bought on Etsy!”
“Yeah? You think? How can you tell?”
“Well, he’s got a pecker sticking out of his chest.”
“A…
March 19, 2010 at 4:50 pm
It’s peculiar and tacky; but the detail in the face is well executed… I bet s/he could do some good portraiture work if s/he stopped wasting time painting squash!
@ #2 bumblepuppy : Don’t ask me how I know this, but Willie’s guitar strap is almost always red, white & blue!
March 19, 2010 at 4:53 pm
#17 BWAHAHAAAA I can totally see that scene enacted by Betty White and Walter Matthau.
March 19, 2010 at 4:54 pm
Clearly , the seller is off her gourd.
March 19, 2010 at 4:55 pm
Hidden due to low comment rating. Click here to see.
March 19, 2010 at 4:55 pm
I like my Willie’s Hair braided.
March 19, 2010 at 4:56 pm
http://i106.photobucket.com/albums/m250/dynomoose/willienelsonow.jpg
March 19, 2010 at 4:58 pm
Hey I give the person some credit. The face actually looks like Willy.
Now the sellers real challenge. Can you draw Michael Jackson on a peice of wood?
March 19, 2010 at 5:00 pm
Yup, it looks like Willy, allright…gearing up for a huge shit.
March 19, 2010 at 5:06 pm
This rules! I think they did a great job and it is a creative idea too.
March 19, 2010 at 5:09 pm
I think this could have been filed in proportion problems. The birds could nest in those ears with a big brood & have room to spare.
March 19, 2010 at 5:27 pm
I’m waiting for Skully’s expertise…
March 19, 2010 at 5:32 pm
LOL at the ducklings living in Willy!
On a serious note, none of this stuff should actually be put out for birds. Stuff that’s way too long for nesting material but will be used (and strangle some birds), pacifiers and beads, steel wool, and it sounds like she doesn’t seal the insides. If she sold them as decorative, ok, but she doesn’t. Besides what it’s going to look like after a year outside with birds on it.
/wildlife rant
March 19, 2010 at 5:33 pm
I love conehead cat! http://www.etsy.com/view_listing.php?listing_id=33043907
March 19, 2010 at 5:35 pm
I had no idea that Willie’s locks were so luscious and curly. What kind of shampoo do you suppose he uses?
March 19, 2010 at 5:38 pm
Oh god, the clown! Make it go away!
http://www.etsy.com/view_listing.php?listing_id=32558724
I agree that she does have some talent though, her canvas just sucks.
March 19, 2010 at 5:39 pm
#31mtopia, so sorry for my clumsy thumb-I meant up up & hit down.
March 19, 2010 at 5:41 pm
dynomoose-hahahaha
willy’s “willy hole” is in the wrong spot…
March 19, 2010 at 5:43 pm
http://www.etsy.com/view_listing.php?listing_id=37081877
At least the hole in this one is high enough up to keep the nestlings in. O don’t understand how one is supposed to hang these. And there is just something wrong about having your mouth open around birds. Gross.
March 19, 2010 at 5:43 pm
@32 knitvincible That is truly horrifying! Truly. Plus that balloon is, as geektastic has pointed out, a complete bird choking hazard.
@33 hamoza, S’okay. We’re still cool.
March 19, 2010 at 6:06 pm
If I were going to buy a Willie Nelson birdhouse, I’ll admit this is the Willie Nelson birdhouse I would buy.
March 19, 2010 at 6:08 pm
http://www.etsy.com/view_listing.php?listing_id=37567161
Wow, if this weren’t quite so expensive, I might just have to have it. How many people have portraits of cocker spaniel nobility hanging in their homes?
March 19, 2010 at 6:22 pm
Hidden due to low comment rating. Click here to see.
March 19, 2010 at 6:23 pm
“”Besides what it’s going to look like after a year outside with birds on it.
“”
much better.
March 19, 2010 at 6:37 pm
My God, I HOPE it’s one of a kind! Who needs MORE of these?!?
March 19, 2010 at 6:37 pm
Chickadee says “WTF?”
http://i761.photobucket.com/albums/xx256/geektastic_whimsy/Regretsy%20NSFW/candy_clown_BIRDHOUSE.png
March 19, 2010 at 6:49 pm
To all the gourds I’ve loved before…
March 19, 2010 at 6:51 pm
I think there is a reason why this person has no sales. Any bird would be scared of this or any of them. Although may make a great father’s day present for my father-in-law who is into bird-watching. And hey it may be worth more someday since it’s signed by the artist.
March 19, 2010 at 6:54 pm
The latest in the long list of things I never ever thought I’d say:
“MAN! That’s some excellent craftsmanship on that hand-painted Willy Nelson birdhouse gourd!”
March 19, 2010 at 7:04 pm
Yeah, but 130 freakin’ dollars for a painted gourd?
March 19, 2010 at 7:11 pm
Agreed. Waay more than I’d pay for a Willy Nelson birdhouse gourd, but I suppose if you were in the market for a hand painted Willy Nelson birdhouse gourd this would be the Willy Nelson birdhouse gourd to purchase. I just suspect the list of people in the market for a Willy Nelson birdhouse gourd is rather short.
March 19, 2010 at 7:21 pm
Mama, don’t let your babies grow up to be birdhouses.
I would list this as half uncanny valley, half Alfred E. Neuman.
March 19, 2010 at 7:27 pm
It’s the neck that really gets me. It’s like all fine (or as fine as such a thing could be), and then it’s like the person just gave up on the neck. I find it hard to look at.
March 19, 2010 at 7:30 pm
I notice that the only provided view is straight-on to show the front… whoever buys the damn thing is going to be wildly disappointed when it turns out that it looks even wonkier from any other angle.
March 19, 2010 at 7:32 pm
The back is probably just an old moldy gourd.
March 19, 2010 at 7:33 pm
@51 You meant “good ol’ gourd”, right?
March 19, 2010 at 7:40 pm
well there’s the back to consider, although I had in mind the fact that the shading, while done well from a 2D perspective, isn’t designed with the 3D medium in mind… Those neck folds are going to look really odd from the side. And the flat nose, and brow-line.
March 19, 2010 at 8:00 pm
Damn!
Even birds know that Willie’s ears aren’t that big!
March 19, 2010 at 8:23 pm
Hey there Thumb-downers!
March 19, 2010 at 8:55 pm
To all the gourds I’ve loved before
Who’ve housed the wrens and doves and more,
I think I got it wrong,
I should have made a bong,
From all the gourds I’ve loved before…
March 19, 2010 at 9:10 pm
I’m gonna warn you about this one:
http://farm5.static.flickr.com/4053/4447211166_3b8c7886d2_o.gif
March 19, 2010 at 9:35 pm
#57 That’s terrifying!
March 19, 2010 at 9:45 pm
Do you guys ever wonder what these celebs think when they come across this type of shit? I mean yeah, you’re famous, but can’t you still get the heebie-jeebies when you see yourself painted on a gourd, with a giant hole on your chest FOR A BIRD TO LIVE INSIDE???
March 19, 2010 at 10:15 pm
ISUS, …GYAAGHH!!
March 19, 2010 at 10:30 pm
#57 IscreamUscream, AHH! WTF?!
Poor Willie, he’s such a nice guy and doesn’t deserve to be quadruple amputated with a hole in his stomach…kind of reminds me of Boxing Helena…
Plus, it’s just plain over-priced.
March 19, 2010 at 11:02 pm
#57 IscreamUscream :
Augh! No, Bozo, no!
March 19, 2010 at 11:11 pm
Aww I was actually into this one http://www.etsy.com/view_listing.php?listing_id=37574721 until I clicked on the second picture scrolled down and realized the “Fish” was really a just a sperm…on a string…and next to something that required some horrible photoshopping.
March 19, 2010 at 11:39 pm
Would those even work? I’d think they would rather act like a scare-crow…
March 20, 2010 at 5:34 am
How do the birds *know* to crawl in the tiny hole in Willy Nelson’s chest? Has Willy Nelson actually had a bird-boring-holes-in-chest problem in real life?
March 20, 2010 at 8:29 am
if it weren’t so expensive, i’d actually buy it for my mom to go with her HIDEOUS gourd Santa that she proudly displays every year. (and that my brother and i would hide every year as kids.)
March 20, 2010 at 2:22 pm
Late to the party, but what the hell:
On a gourd again
I am painted on a gourd again
I hang out here on the porch beside my friends
I am painted on a gourd again
On a gourd again
Flying birds, they make their nests within
In spring they hatch and are never seen again
I am painted on a gourd again
On a gourd again
With a pistol Grandpa shoots at the sparrows
Sitting on the porch as friends
Insisting that the birds nest in my belly
In my belly
On a gourd again
March 20, 2010 at 4:35 pm
I dunno I just can’t see this working in my garden. http://oneloomstudio.wordpress.com/
March 20, 2010 at 7:08 pm
Well, this makes my blue eyes cry in the rain. Sorry folks, I am not yet drunk enough to be clever, dammit.
March 20, 2010 at 8:04 pm
I want to buy this and mail it to Willy, obviously he would love it.
March 21, 2010 at 12:38 am
WHY has the seller photoshopped the background out of this picture? That looks horribly unprofessional. The edges of the image are all smudged and faded, it dosnt even look real.
March 21, 2010 at 8:51 am
#38 ~ That portrait of cocker spaniel royalty.
What’s wrong with the dog’s nose? Looks like he ran way too fast into the patio door.
Poor puppy.
March 21, 2010 at 12:22 pm
Hmm, my fiance saw me looking at this and said, “What is that?! Hahhahahaa! That. Is. Fucking. Awesome. Well, not for $130, but still!”
He’s fired.
March 21, 2010 at 4:33 pm
I think it is awesome! I wouldn’t let a bird live in it, or buy it, but I like it! *sulks off into the corner*
March 21, 2010 at 6:40 pm
Okay, not as a birdhouse, but this is freaking awesome.
March 21, 2010 at 9:07 pm
I might put it out in the corn field to SCARE birds….
no chance ANYTHING is making a home in that thing!
March 21, 2010 at 10:22 pm
Dynomoose, this is for you. Yeah, boredumb.
http://twitpic.com/1a5xfp
March 22, 2010 at 6:38 am
I personally don’t like painted gourds, but given that…Its actually rather well done. hmm…I wish they’d do more pics, better description though.
I don’t like when people use holes in things as mouths, though. They always end up looking sex-doll-ish. And the Stevie doll…his hole looks like an anus. (I’m really sorry, really, truly–but it does).
March 22, 2010 at 7:26 am
Heavens, it’s Jon Benet Ramsay! http://www.etsy.com/view_listing.php?listing_id=43148642
She’s a talented painter though, this lady.
March 22, 2010 at 9:28 am
VEDD
that’s a winner–love it!
March 26, 2010 at 9:42 pm
gourds currently growing in my garden = whimsicle fuckery…YES!!!