Thats what my apartment looks like after I have been hitting the Etsy pipe. WHITE SMOKE!!
if you put on a little Kilz first, you don’t have that problem.
Thought process: “OK, I want a white background.” *Paint…paint…paint* “Fuck this shit, I’d rather have a beer.” *Drink…drink…drink…returns to canvas. “Hey, thish ishn’t that bad. Imma shell thish shit.”
Looks just like my 2 year old son’s room after he got hold of the BIG tube of diaper cream.
I like VIAR; at least you’d be getting a completed project for that price.
I’m just glad it comes with a Certificate of Authenticity. I’d hate to think that this work of sheer brilliance might be a forgery.
Alternate pithy comment: “I’m just glad it comes with a Certificate of Authenticity. I might otherwise confuse this original work of art with an original pile of crap.”
Choose your own adventure!
It looks like the West Side Story artist rethought her original idea.
It’s actually the work of choice for the shop banner. Must be his favourite.
Oh jesus. The ‘artist’ couldn’t even finish gessoing the masonite?
gee I spilled primer the other night but cleaned it up & threw out the mess. If only I’d titled it and given it a serial # & cert. of authenticity.Guess i’m too foggy on the ‘concept’.
Jeez, lazy-ass painter. At least put a horse in it or something.
Its a pay to play service that sends you stickers to put on the art. Basically he’s paying for it, it wasn’t juried or accepted into anything.
It means he spent money on stickers. That’s it.
Maybe I watch too much Dexter, but it looks like someone did a poor job painting over the blood splatters.
If a thousand monkeys, with a thousamd bottles of Wite Out…
A.M. Fog, original painting by Rachel Kolenda
For those of you keeping score at home it’s: Rachel Kolenda 1 Good ideas 0.
Hidden due to low comment rating. Click here to see.
This isn’t a representational oil painting of a traditional subject. NOT ART.
Art has to be, like, naked ladies and mountains and stuff. If we don’t set some serious limits on what art can be, how are we ever going to be creative?
That said, there’s the separate issue of “craft” in terms of technical skill, which this doesn’t show much of. And the issue of whether it’s really worth $375, which I’m no judge of, but it doesn’t go without saying that it isn’t.
Srsly tho’, if someone is enough of a yutz to pay almost $400.00 for this, I think they deserve to live with it.
It’s not offensive, but it’s not super interesting by any stretch of the imagination. When I see things like this, be it in a museum or on Regretsy, my first thought is always ‘why?’
She soesn’t say what kind of fog…maybe the kind of fog that comes with hangovers…hence the a.m.
Looking back on it, that horse wasn’t such a bad painter after all.
I love good modern abstraction, including minimalism. This is just baaad.
View it in a room is too funny!
By the looks of it, the Fine Art Registry is more a way of keeping track of where your art goes and to verify it is really your art. There is no process for vetting the quality of the art tagged, that’s not the point of the system. Of course, calling it the ‘Fine Art Registry’ could be seen as false advertising.
Yeah, who decided this was “fine”? Or “art” for that matter?
“A.M. Fog”? More like “How to Get Laughed Into Oblivion By Your Friends For Spending $375 On Something Anyone With Two Hands Can Make.”
VIAR about sums it up!
I know fog…it’s not this.
wait, i see a face in it!
er, nope…it’s still just a big old mess.
I kinda see a face or head of something. At first I thought maybe it was a view of a person or something through the fog, but then realized applying logic to this is futile.
Clearly it is a picture of a callipygian women bending over. Also she has flippers. http://i246.photobucket.com/albums/gg114/aichmophile/il_fullxfull81012536.jpg
once upon a winter morn
while puffin my bong, an idea was born
I’ll use the shoe polish I sniffed last night
and take this board and paint it white.
I’ll call it art, and number it
and when it sells I’ll buy more shit.
Heres a picture of Scrotie the giant penis mascot from RISD the college I went to.
LOL…oneloom- what does a dude dressed as a giant dick have to do with this thread?
but i am cackling like a hyena, so thanks for that
#32 OneLoomStudio & #33 razberries
Do you even need a reason to post that?
Really? Am I the only one who thinks it looks like someone smeared poop on the wall of their asylum dorm room?
The VIIAR made me laugh so hard that I startled both of my dogs out of their sleep to jump up and start barking at me! LOL
What a great idea for when your latest victim left their blood spatter on your canvas!
Cover it in whitewash, sell on etsy.
Helen, I think you owe an apology to Benjamin Moore and all professional interior painters everywhere.
#30 callipygian? CALLIPYGIAN??? Oh when will the hating end.
#32 OneLoomStudio thanks for posting that, I was curious. Don’t know why anyone would thumbs-down that.
Thumbsdowners, I’m warning you, the Cosmic Yak will get you.
#12 aent13 – the fine art registry looks to be much cheaper than the copyright office … 30 bucks for 10 stickers, as opposed to 30 bucks per registration.
A half painted piece of masonite for 375.00 ???
WTF?? man that etsy pipe sure gets around!
Hail Cosmic Yak!
You know, I was in the Museum of Modern Art and saw Monet’s “Water Lillies” or whateverthehell it’s called, and the 3 canvases were about the size of a FOOTBALL FIELD. and then there’s this… I mean yeah, there are things at MOMA that look like a blank canvas with a red dot in the middle or something, but those canvases are also the size of a king-sized bed, and it’s done neatly. Even Pollack or Koko the gorilla seemed to have more skill and taste than this thing.
This just pisses me…
for those who are too young to remember Koko (the first gorilla to learn American sign language):
#45 At least Koko had a curator. Someone needs to tell ms. foggy to get real.
Hey! I just remembered those collector plates from the Frankin Mint also come with a certificate of authenticity too!
* Couple talking in double wide trailer somehwere in the Pacific NW*
Wow Honey look what I just found on etsy to go with our Elvis and Civil War collectors plates, there shur ta go up in value too, if we take back the empties we might just have enough!
Wow, look at the gorilla stuff! From the site:
-Koko paints representationally and impressionistically.
-She’s painted many self-named works.
More than some of the “artists” on etsy can do apparently.
#48 Geektastick (BTW I’ve been rolling on the floor over your photoshoppery this week) – if you watched the video of Koko painting, she was painting, and then signed “Toilet” – she didn’t like the results (or maybe she was asking for her work to be posted on Etsy – who can say?)
Less is Moore. More or less.
As an advocate of the morning fog on the mountain aesthetic, I feel that the subaqueous qualities and the metaphorical resonance of the negative space visually and conceptually activates the devious simplicity and the essentially transitional quality of the figurative-narrative line-space matrix.
Umm… Yeah… And it has a serial number… So that too…
Actually it isn’t such a bad piece o’ f-art.
This painting inspires me…. to throw paint on a canvas and sell it for hundreds of dollars on Etsy because it’s “art”.
Helen, you KILLED me with the ‘View it in a Room’! I wet myself laughing! It made my day.
Am I the only one who first read this as Fine Art Regretsy?
A.M. Fog is listed in the Fine Art Registry
But it IS listed in the Fine Art Regretsy. We need to let the artist know so she can proudly add that to her listing.
I knew this work looked familiar !!!
@ #30 Lola :
I love you forever for not only knowing the word callipygian, but using it correctly in a sentance. *applause*
All the “View It In A Room” is missing is Tom Sawyer and an apple.
I am sorry but I buy art only if I like it. I could care less if it comes with a Certificate of Authenticity and serial number.
My customers could care less if my paintings come with Certificate of Authenticity……
I swear I see a moose through all that “fog.” Maybe she should have called it “Canadian Drivers’ Nightmare.”
I did a painting almost exactly like that once. I gessoed the canvas, started painting something brown, then changed my mind and started painting over it in white, but then I had to go to work and it never did get finished . . .
Man we have a National Art Gallery in Ottawa full of “inspired” shit like this. I remember having the same reaction to a solidly black painted wall when I was 10 and thinking WTF?!?! I wouldn’t pay $5 for that AND I could do it. Guess she’d get more of an audience up in these parts…
that said I totally agree with #61 Raven
Thanks for backing me up #64 priceless
@ #64 priceless : Doncha love where our tax dollars go? Not only are we funding the building that houses this crap, we’re paying subsidies to the artists to create it.
*feels all warm & fuzzy inside*
Kinda makes waiting 4 hours to see a doctor earlier this week seem all worthwhile. ….especially since I contaminated the entire waiting area with Chicken Pox Virus!
Love the VIIAM!
Mark Rothko, perhaps?
I don’t get it either, but I figure if others do, more power to them. I’ll never get it, even assuming there is something to get, though I appreciate contemporary art as much as traditional fare. And, frankly, I’m sure most of the people who say they get it don’t actually get it but are too chickenshit to admit otherwise.
I think it might also look nice in a room full of dogs playing pool.
wow, i feel like a fucking celebrity that my submission got picked. makes me want to hit the etsy pipe, if only i had something to stick in it.
i found this garbage on the front page, so the “artist” wasn’t the only one with terrible taste.
but really, i’m doing the regresty happy dance and it’s full of whimsical fuckery and butt shaking.
#66 I do not minds government and taxpayer $$ help fund artists/art. It is better than funding some of the welfare programs out there.
ok…I need advice…exactly what does it mean to put something in the “Fine Art Registry”? Seriously…
Cause I got an idea that I want to do out of morbid curiousity. I want to make a small artwork…put it in the fine art registry (whatever that is)…put it on Etsy…and if it sells, I will donate the ENTIRE proceeds to Regretsy Charities.
Just to see if someone will buy something that I know is a joke…
#68, IMH educated AHO, Rothko was a profoundly troubled yet monumentally brilliant painter.
Ms. Kolenda is just wasting supplies & if Etsy put that thing on the front page , with the many talented people it could choose from , well I’ll just shut my mouth and join #70 in a little butt shaking. Great submission!
@ #71 raven : Touche!
….or outpatient methadone clinics where street dwellers can go to lessen their jonesin’ until they get their next fix. Seems a little redundant.
#75 Yup. And I am a caseworker for welfare so I see the fraud first hand…..the few bad eggs make all the real needy people look bad!
Didn’t like what he was painting, decided to paint over it and start again and then “light bulb!” he decided to see if someone would actually be crazy enough to buy it
I am renaming it. half-finished and half-started
Helen…thank you for the view in the room. You saved my sanity.
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