I was going to comment on how precise the Victorians were about their decoration and how they wouldn’t have wanted that haphazard nightmare of nylon flowers and plastic beads anywhere near their homes. Then I saw that even the seller considers it scat. so I won’t bother.
Porcelain bowels… is that similar to a knee-replacement? Because its been a year since I had a robot knee joint implanted in my leg and I’m still recovering from it.
I’d hate to see the recovery time for a bowel replacement.
I can honestly say that’s the prettiest arrangement of plastic flowers covered in spray glitter and artificially colored turkey feathers I’ve ever seen.
#11 suda, you’re sooo right. But still, every listing contains an assload of spelling problems. She says she is a nurse, so thankfully she doesn’t actually write perscriptions.
I feel that I know Victorian pretty well, and there is no way a proper Victorian lady would have put red flowers in a bow(e)l with pink flowers painted on it. It would have been social suicide!
LOL Pussdaddy, I know what a colonoscopy is, too (unfortunately)…but a colonic cleansing is when they take shit OUT of the shitter, and a colonoscopy is when they put something IN your shitter…
She’s got to try a lot harder if she wants her lampshades to fit in with her Victorian whorehouse design. Only a bit of iridescence and fringe? Where’s the red velvet, the wasp waist, the multiple rows of fringe and tassels? No self-respecting Victorian whore would want this pathetic attempt decorating her chamber as she boinked her clientele!
@32 Sadly that’s not the queen mum, just the queen. The queen mum died a few years ago. She was awesome, not that I don’t love Queen Elizabeth. If it was the queen mum it would be a zombie, so possibly an option to be looked into.
Something to look forward to. I need to get one of those (colonoscopies that is, not porcelain bowels). I have to get health insurance set up first though. WHY am I so bad at paperwork?
Good Grief …. it’s that Xray I had taken to diagnose my diverticulitis twenty years ago. She’s gone and colorized it with PhotoShop …. I’ll sue …. I’ll SUE! …..
You know…I used to think I was a good floral designer. I’d go pick sunflowers and do some ‘fabulous’ arrangements. I’d make arrangements for my friends for special occasions.
And then, I took a job at a floral shop and found out that I sucked. I learned I sucked, because I actually learned how to design…well. And I am ashamed to think of the arrangements that I had made before. Arrangements that looked so much like this one that I could have done it.
March 17, 2010 at 4:32 pm
a bowel by another name would smell as rank!
March 17, 2010 at 4:33 pm
She must have used a chamber pot for the vase
March 17, 2010 at 4:33 pm
I’m moved
March 17, 2010 at 4:33 pm
I was going to comment on how precise the Victorians were about their decoration and how they wouldn’t have wanted that haphazard nightmare of nylon flowers and plastic beads anywhere near their homes. Then I saw that even the seller considers it scat. so I won’t bother.
March 17, 2010 at 4:34 pm
OWWW! Porecelain bowels would really hurt! I hate when that happens. Better get the Metamucil.
March 17, 2010 at 4:34 pm
I think one of the Red Hat Ladies forgot something her tea this morning.
(And no red thumbers or I’m going to have a major complex.)
March 17, 2010 at 4:35 pm
Isn’t Porcelain Bowel a disease? Obstruction? Irritable bowel?
March 17, 2010 at 4:37 pm
Porcelain bowels… is that similar to a knee-replacement? Because its been a year since I had a robot knee joint implanted in my leg and I’m still recovering from it.
I’d hate to see the recovery time for a bowel replacement.
March 17, 2010 at 4:38 pm
Ah,
For those whose shit smells like roses.
March 17, 2010 at 4:38 pm
“Oh Millicent! What a lovely arrangement!”
“Thank you, it was a gift from my husband, he’s a plumber-proctologist you know. He specializes in porcelaine bowls and bowels”
“Lovely.”
March 17, 2010 at 4:39 pm
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March 17, 2010 at 4:40 pm
#10 hamoza:
Spell check wouldn’t work. She needs context check.
March 17, 2010 at 4:44 pm
I can honestly say that’s the prettiest arrangement of plastic flowers covered in spray glitter and artificially colored turkey feathers I’ve ever seen.
March 17, 2010 at 4:44 pm
#11 suda, you’re sooo right. But still, every listing contains an assload of spelling problems. She says she is a nurse, so thankfully she doesn’t actually write perscriptions.
March 17, 2010 at 4:46 pm
yeah-shabby what now?? Chubby cheek?
March 17, 2010 at 4:49 pm
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March 17, 2010 at 4:50 pm
I wouldn’t have been so forgiving if the letters ‘w’ and ‘e’ weren’t next to each other on the keyboard.
March 17, 2010 at 4:50 pm
Ball of steel.
Fists of fury.
Bowels of porcelain.
March 17, 2010 at 4:51 pm
Btw, how do you ship a Victorian Rose Garden?
March 17, 2010 at 4:55 pm
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March 17, 2010 at 4:55 pm
You can get porcelain bowels at the 99 cent store? Hmph. Learn something new every day.
March 17, 2010 at 4:56 pm
I feel that I know Victorian pretty well, and there is no way a proper Victorian lady would have put red flowers in a bow(e)l with pink flowers painted on it. It would have been social suicide!
March 17, 2010 at 4:57 pm
Porcelain bowels. How romantic.
March 17, 2010 at 4:58 pm
“Porcelain bowels” refers to a Victorian woman’s delicate nature. Those corsets wreaked havoc with a woman’s tract.
“Don’t upset your spinster aunt Electa, dear, she’s got porcelain bowels, and is also prone to the vapours.”
March 17, 2010 at 5:04 pm
@21 Poor Aunt Electa, the vapours are so very bothersome…perhaps some flowers to cheer her up?
March 17, 2010 at 5:05 pm
I thought “porcelain bowels” referred to the Porcelain Bowels of Hell, where Lord Satin [sic] lives.
March 17, 2010 at 5:08 pm
http://www.etsy.com/view_listing.php?listing_id=42171348
I’ve never seen tulips “sashay” until now.
March 17, 2010 at 5:13 pm
My delicate sensibilities are affected. Wherever is my fainting cooch?
March 17, 2010 at 5:27 pm
Not only did she spell it wrong, that’s not a bowl. It’s a cup. Maybe she’s sight impaired? That would explain BOTH the arrangement and the typos!
March 17, 2010 at 5:27 pm
Would those pearls I spy then be anal beads?
March 17, 2010 at 5:32 pm
Wouldn’t that look nice in my bordello?
March 17, 2010 at 5:35 pm
Roses are red, violets are blue, I’m buying you this, because I hate you.
March 17, 2010 at 5:35 pm
Oooooh! This will be perfect for Ascot Day!
http://www.flickr.com/photos/51423921@N00/4442201658/
March 17, 2010 at 5:37 pm
What about the lovely Shauneeone vase. I can’t figure that one out. Also, her shop is Creation’s by Laura. The misspellings are driving me crazy!!!
March 17, 2010 at 5:38 pm
@designerchick – that is fantastic! Thank the good queen mum for posing, will you?
March 17, 2010 at 5:47 pm
It’s even misspelled in the materials – wt?
March 17, 2010 at 5:51 pm
She should try to “sound” herself with a couple dictionaries. http://www.etsy.com/view_listing.php?ref=vl_other_2&listing_id=41855226
March 17, 2010 at 6:01 pm
@HelenaHandbasket-I thought that, but refrained from bringing up such an indelicate subject. What with all the porcelain bowels on the thread.
March 17, 2010 at 6:10 pm
Bowel, huh? So those flowers should stay fresh indefintely, thanks to all that fertilizer, yeah?
March 17, 2010 at 6:11 pm
@#29 Chrisnyc1213 : “Roses are red, violets are blue, I’m buying you this, because I hate you.”
FTW!!
I can’t stop giggling!!
March 17, 2010 at 6:23 pm
Send a bowel of flowers…and theirs will be moved.
March 17, 2010 at 6:23 pm
This represents everything I thought of when I first saw this masterpiece
http://i761.photobucket.com/albums/xx256/geektastic_whimsy/Regretsy%20NSFW/colon_vase.png
March 17, 2010 at 6:34 pm
Hey, porcelin bowels are more convenient…instead of toilet paper, you just use Comet, like you do for your toilet.
*ducks to avoid plungers thrown*
March 17, 2010 at 6:34 pm
This is the aftermath of a colonic cleansing, perhaps?
March 17, 2010 at 6:34 pm
Would make a resection tricky as heck, though.
March 17, 2010 at 6:40 pm
I just had a colonoscopy razberrries and nothing even close to this came out of my ass.
March 17, 2010 at 6:51 pm
LOL Pussdaddy, I know what a colonoscopy is, too (unfortunately)…but a colonic cleansing is when they take shit OUT of the shitter, and a colonoscopy is when they put something IN your shitter…
March 17, 2010 at 6:52 pm
@PussDaddy, Are you sure? Maybe the doctor kept it because it was so bee-u-tee-ful.
(thumbs downers the Cosmic Yak frowns upon you)
March 17, 2010 at 7:01 pm
Did you see her lovely lampshades?
http://www.etsy.com/view_listing.php?listing_id=41810129
She’s got to try a lot harder if she wants her lampshades to fit in with her Victorian whorehouse design. Only a bit of iridescence and fringe? Where’s the red velvet, the wasp waist, the multiple rows of fringe and tassels? No self-respecting Victorian whore would want this pathetic attempt decorating her chamber as she boinked her clientele!
March 17, 2010 at 7:05 pm
Silly me – I thought you had to be literate to be a nurse.
March 17, 2010 at 8:02 pm
Maybe if the doc had tickled my ass with one of those feathery flowers the results would have been better geektastic.
March 17, 2010 at 8:02 pm
YOu have to prep for a colonoscopy razberries and trust me plenty of stuff comes out. lol.
March 17, 2010 at 8:38 pm
@32 Sadly that’s not the queen mum, just the queen. The queen mum died a few years ago. She was awesome, not that I don’t love Queen Elizabeth. If it was the queen mum it would be a zombie, so possibly an option to be looked into.
If you google “queen mum zombie”, this is what you get, by the way:
http://www.chairmanmoo.co.uk/article.asp?category=homenews&id=42&key=queen%20mum
March 17, 2010 at 8:46 pm
pussdaddy- ugh, you’re right. i was just remembering the tube. but the prep (aka drinking nasty stuff) is the worst…
March 17, 2010 at 10:19 pm
Something to look forward to. I need to get one of those (colonoscopies that is, not porcelain bowels). I have to get health insurance set up first though. WHY am I so bad at paperwork?
March 18, 2010 at 12:05 am
Sigh, yet ANOTHER person that thinks their shit smells like roses!
March 18, 2010 at 1:26 am
Good Grief …. it’s that Xray I had taken to diagnose my diverticulitis twenty years ago. She’s gone and colorized it with PhotoShop …. I’ll sue …. I’ll SUE! …..
March 18, 2010 at 2:49 am
Baahhwaaaahhhhhhahahahahahahahahaha
March 18, 2010 at 6:25 am
This is awful! I hate when the person before you forgets to flush.
March 18, 2010 at 8:29 am
#56 clitty’s got claws – That was funny!
March 18, 2010 at 11:11 am
#55 – Move to Canada, Verge – the colonoscopies are fre-e-e-e! Only good thing about them.
March 18, 2010 at 6:39 pm
You know…I used to think I was a good floral designer. I’d go pick sunflowers and do some ‘fabulous’ arrangements. I’d make arrangements for my friends for special occasions.
And then, I took a job at a floral shop and found out that I sucked. I learned I sucked, because I actually learned how to design…well. And I am ashamed to think of the arrangements that I had made before. Arrangements that looked so much like this one that I could have done it.
March 19, 2010 at 2:55 am
” #60 Snark-o-leptic Cesar :
#56 clitty’s got claws – That was funny! ”
Hehe, thanks. That’s a compliment coming from you