My only complaint about this is that thing under his eye. If they had just started the whole thing a little to the left, they could have used it for the nose.
Radical Militant Librarian
March 16, 2010 at 1:41 pm
I think it was “hand-drawn” by the hands of the mannequin in the last post…. Because, clearly, the hands that drew this weren’t actually connected to any *eyes*.
i’m the first one to admit that i can’t draw a straight line w/out help and the last one to crack on artistic ability/talent b/c i’ve not got much. and with that disclaimer, this bears only a passing resemblance to michael jackson – at any point of his ever changing face.
really it looks like that crazy guy down the street (the one who’s house you are queasy to walk past) who decided to “dress up” as michael for halloween.
Of course, “Michael Jackson” is a pretty common name, so maybe this is a portrait of the artist’s creepy neighbor with the nasty mole who tries to hide the fact that he’s going bald by not cutting his hair.
I think what we here at Regretsy are missing is the other artistic angles this picture can be seen from. If you look at the many other angles the artist has photographed this peice from you can clearly see the resem…oh wait. nevermind.
I’m into MJ. I even like to burn a little MJ now and again. When I burn MJ though, I usually end up with a few empty ice cream containers on a nearby end table.
One of the things I love so much about you, Helen, is the names you give your posts. I know it’s dorky, but I have absolutely no talent in that department and love a good pun.
I said you wanna be burnin’ somethin’
You got to be burnin’ somethin’
I said you wanna be burnin’ somethin’
You got to be burnin’ somethin’
A wood burning of Michael (Yeah, Yeah)
He looks like a fatso (Yeah, Yeah)
Keep him safe from termites (Yeah, Yeah)
He’s a lumber-Jacko (Yeah, Yeah)
I think this artist forgot to finish drawing MJ’s teeth. I actually thought it was George Lopez when I first pulled it up. Skully, you’re the bomb!!! I also think that this artist was wearing a glove on only one hand.
I think they first did his hair and jaw, then started with the face and realized it was up too high to match with the jaw. Then, they decided they’d “fix” it by just redrawing the chin. I have no explanation for the half-mouth.
I may not be great at woodburning, but I can tell you that jamming the burner into the wood and leaving a burnt impression of the tip is not the way to shade something in. It looks like it was done with a crappy marker!
Ok this seller was clearly in the “Michael Jackson’s a pedophile” camp…. why else would she completely mangle the memory of his face even worse than he did, then burn it (literally… into wood)?
March 16, 2010 at 1:35 pm
It’s obviously a homage to Zombie Michael in Thriller.
March 16, 2010 at 1:38 pm
It looks like Weird Al circa “Eat It”
March 16, 2010 at 1:39 pm
What is up with the grotesque double chin thing going on in this?
March 16, 2010 at 1:39 pm
more elvis-y, huh? what with the fat neck and all.
March 16, 2010 at 1:39 pm
Cool – he’s environmentally responsible! MJ’s worm food, this is termite food. Or kindling.
March 16, 2010 at 1:39 pm
The thing under the eye is your only complaint? How about the fact that this MJ is morbidly obese?
March 16, 2010 at 1:39 pm
I’ve always thought woodburning and Michael Jackson went well together.
March 16, 2010 at 1:39 pm
wtf is wrong with his face?
(and for michael jackson, that is saying a lot….)
i don’t think MJ had that many chins…
March 16, 2010 at 1:40 pm
the rings give MJ a bloated, chubby look-like Elvis in his decline!
March 16, 2010 at 1:41 pm
#1:
More like “Weird Al” Yankovic in the Fat video. (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Fat_%28song%29)
It actually looks like him:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fqz1ojIQTBk
March 16, 2010 at 1:41 pm
Holy crap. I thought this was a portrait of Frodo.
March 16, 2010 at 1:41 pm
I think it was “hand-drawn” by the hands of the mannequin in the last post…. Because, clearly, the hands that drew this weren’t actually connected to any *eyes*.
March 16, 2010 at 1:42 pm
I’m diggin’ the mondo face mole. Or is it one of those gangsta teardrop tattoos?
March 16, 2010 at 1:43 pm
Oh, and the date stamp is a nice touch. I mean, it mafes a great addition.
March 16, 2010 at 1:46 pm
I had no idea Michael Jackson died of melanoma.
March 16, 2010 at 1:46 pm
I’ll wait and hope for Skully’s lyrical skills here…
March 16, 2010 at 1:47 pm
Michael Jackson? Looks like Bilbo Baggins to me.
March 16, 2010 at 1:47 pm
The seller liked this photo so much that he used it 5 times in the listing.
March 16, 2010 at 1:48 pm
i’m the first one to admit that i can’t draw a straight line w/out help and the last one to crack on artistic ability/talent b/c i’ve not got much. and with that disclaimer, this bears only a passing resemblance to michael jackson – at any point of his ever changing face.
really it looks like that crazy guy down the street (the one who’s house you are queasy to walk past) who decided to “dress up” as michael for halloween.
March 16, 2010 at 1:48 pm
Funny, I just cut down a tree and found this exact same picture naturally occurring in the stump.
March 16, 2010 at 1:48 pm
Had this come out during the infamous Pepsi pyrotechnics accident, this seller would have really cleaned up.
March 16, 2010 at 1:51 pm
At no time ever can you fully see both eyes of a human face when it is turned at that angle. Learn some proportion woman!
March 16, 2010 at 1:52 pm
“If your into…” “this would mafe…” And their writing skills are still WAY more impressive than their artistry.
March 16, 2010 at 1:52 pm
I think this supposed to be swollen-mangled-tooth- black-eye-Michael Jackson from the Beat It video, only this time, is gang lost the fight.
March 16, 2010 at 1:54 pm
My only complaint is the whole damn thing.
March 16, 2010 at 1:55 pm
Of course, “Michael Jackson” is a pretty common name, so maybe this is a portrait of the artist’s creepy neighbor with the nasty mole who tries to hide the fact that he’s going bald by not cutting his hair.
March 16, 2010 at 1:56 pm
I think what we here at Regretsy are missing is the other artistic angles this picture can be seen from. If you look at the many other angles the artist has photographed this peice from you can clearly see the resem…oh wait. nevermind.
http://www.etsy.com/view_listing.php?listing_id=39400748
March 16, 2010 at 1:57 pm
That’s not Michael Jackson — that’s the late Corey Haim!
http://images.mirror.co.uk/upl/m4/mar2010/9/2/corey-haim-pic-getty-773181100.jpg
March 16, 2010 at 1:59 pm
I’m into MJ. I even like to burn a little MJ now and again. When I burn MJ though, I usually end up with a few empty ice cream containers on a nearby end table.
March 16, 2010 at 2:02 pm
Who’s bad? The seller.
March 16, 2010 at 2:03 pm
So this is Michael in his fat bloated years… no wait that was Elvis…..
March 16, 2010 at 2:04 pm
One of the things I love so much about you, Helen, is the names you give your posts. I know it’s dorky, but I have absolutely no talent in that department and love a good pun.
March 16, 2010 at 2:09 pm
This must be a post mortem portrait, right? Or a reverse termite process?
March 16, 2010 at 2:09 pm
You know it’s bad, it’s bad, really really bad!
March 16, 2010 at 2:09 pm
this mafes me want to beat it.
March 16, 2010 at 2:10 pm
I wish he wood burn it!
March 16, 2010 at 2:11 pm
Why did the artist not continue with burning this piece?
March 16, 2010 at 2:11 pm
It could possibly pass for a Joe Jackson something,
nah, probably not even that.
March 16, 2010 at 2:15 pm
I wonder how long it took to mafe it?
March 16, 2010 at 2:20 pm
Obviously they are confusing MJ with Aaron Neville, and putting the mole a little too low…http://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/commons/1/1f/Aaron_Neville_1990.jpg
March 16, 2010 at 2:23 pm
this looks like MJ got white AND fat.
March 16, 2010 at 2:23 pm
Although this portrait has a kind of creepy, child molester feel to it, there are aspects of it that resemble Michael Jackson.
Wait. I don’t think “Although” was the word I wanted…
March 16, 2010 at 2:25 pm
They should hang this at Neverland Branch.
March 16, 2010 at 2:25 pm
Enrique Iglesias called- he wants his mole back.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Mvxe04wGmTw
March 16, 2010 at 2:29 pm
LeeLoo
March 16, 2010 at 2:29 pm
Hi ISUS!
March 16, 2010 at 2:29 pm
If they had said it was Aaron Neville I could at least given them credit for the mole, poorly placed as it may be.
http://www.roanoke.com/entertainment/images/extra_0330_aNeville.jpg
March 16, 2010 at 2:31 pm
I said you wanna be burnin’ somethin’
You got to be burnin’ somethin’
I said you wanna be burnin’ somethin’
You got to be burnin’ somethin’
A wood burning of Michael (Yeah, Yeah)
He looks like a fatso (Yeah, Yeah)
Keep him safe from termites (Yeah, Yeah)
He’s a lumber-Jacko (Yeah, Yeah)
March 16, 2010 at 2:35 pm
Michael still looks pretty good despite the months of decomposition.
March 16, 2010 at 2:36 pm
i can’t take it! his “pyrograghy” (sic) is horrendous! at least learn to spell what you do – or try to do…
March 16, 2010 at 2:36 pm
Sweet, Skully. You could give Weird Al a run for his money!
March 16, 2010 at 2:37 pm
@Skully-
perfect.
“Lumber-Jacko”
March 16, 2010 at 2:40 pm
I found the picture that the “hand drawing” was made from. It is actually pretty accurate.
http://img.dailymail.co.uk/i/pix/2007/11_02/lizDM1111_468x763.jpg
March 16, 2010 at 2:41 pm
@#4 heidrun & #9 SS, this is why Lisa Marie left him: she didn’t want to be married to her father.
March 16, 2010 at 2:47 pm
I think this artist forgot to finish drawing MJ’s teeth. I actually thought it was George Lopez when I first pulled it up. Skully, you’re the bomb!!! I also think that this artist was wearing a glove on only one hand.
March 16, 2010 at 2:49 pm
It’s good that they used the young, good looking Pepsi era Michael, instead of when he got older and weird looking.
March 16, 2010 at 3:18 pm
If fat bloated Elvis and Michael Jackson had a son, this is what he would look like.
March 16, 2010 at 3:21 pm
Awesome, Skully!
March 16, 2010 at 3:28 pm
Its like they had it lined up and then shifted it an inch to the left. Upon realizing this, they just said “fuck it.”
March 16, 2010 at 3:32 pm
[ ] Pre-plastic surgery
[ ] Post-plastic surgery
[x] During plastic surgery
March 16, 2010 at 3:51 pm
I thought that was Danny DeVito. Shows what I know about art…
March 16, 2010 at 3:51 pm
Skully you rock!! LOL
March 16, 2010 at 3:57 pm
Skully, I wanna rock with you!
March 16, 2010 at 3:57 pm
I’m sure MJ would be touched by this tribute to Fat Elvis.
March 16, 2010 at 3:59 pm
That’s the best portrait of Chunk from “The Goonies” I’ve ever seen.
March 16, 2010 at 4:16 pm
King of Stupid.
March 16, 2010 at 4:17 pm
Rob T. Firefly- more like if Chunk and Sloth mated!
March 16, 2010 at 4:37 pm
Fact: Everybody knows that Michael Jackson loved a little woody.
Wikipedia that shit.
March 16, 2010 at 4:38 pm
err…wood, I meant to say wood..yes, that’s it..loved a little wood…that’s my story and I’m sticking to it
March 16, 2010 at 4:55 pm
With that thing under its eye, they should have gone for a drawing of Aaron Neville.
March 16, 2010 at 5:25 pm
holy freaking cow i just saw this!
what is going on!
March 16, 2010 at 5:35 pm
Looks like someone put Liza Minelli in a toaster oven.
March 16, 2010 at 5:40 pm
What’s with the teeth? I don’t remember Michael having anything going on with his choppers. Unless – maybe I was distracted with the rest of his face.
March 16, 2010 at 6:06 pm
I think they first did his hair and jaw, then started with the face and realized it was up too high to match with the jaw. Then, they decided they’d “fix” it by just redrawing the chin. I have no explanation for the half-mouth.
I may not be great at woodburning, but I can tell you that jamming the burner into the wood and leaving a burnt impression of the tip is not the way to shade something in. It looks like it was done with a crappy marker!
March 16, 2010 at 6:09 pm
Hey! That looks just like Michael Jackson!
…..Oh.
March 16, 2010 at 6:32 pm
This thing doesn’t even pretend to be cubistic but the parts of the face exist on several different planes . Almost.
March 16, 2010 at 6:33 pm
Oh hey, its Michael Jackson as a zombie from “Thriller”. A FAT zombie. Sated on the brains of this seller. Hopefully.
March 16, 2010 at 6:37 pm
Jacko had mumps?
Skully – grats! “Lumber Jacko” is even better than “King of Poplar”
All due respect to Helen
March 16, 2010 at 6:41 pm
Is anyone else seeing Liberace in this?
March 16, 2010 at 6:46 pm
actually, I thought it looked eerily like Ned the Dead…
March 16, 2010 at 6:46 pm
Looks like the bastard child of MJ and Elvis. If he exists, I plan to be married by this man.
March 16, 2010 at 7:07 pm
#80 iunifera
Michael Jackson ROYALE!
March 16, 2010 at 7:08 pm
It’s the teeth.
Oh my, I’m not such which way Oprah should go now…
http://i761.photobucket.com/albums/xx256/geektastic_whimsy/Regretsy%20NSFW/oprah_stump_bear_mj.png
March 16, 2010 at 7:39 pm
It’s not Michael Jackson. It’s Jackie Mason!
see? http://www.topnews.in/files/Jackie-Mason.jpg
March 16, 2010 at 8:06 pm
Ok this seller was clearly in the “Michael Jackson’s a pedophile” camp…. why else would she completely mangle the memory of his face even worse than he did, then burn it (literally… into wood)?
March 16, 2010 at 8:07 pm
And Skully totally deserves Regretsy comment of the day for her little gem, imo. I sang it out loud for extra merriment!
March 16, 2010 at 9:05 pm
She hand drew it? Really? It looks like she made it with…aw, you know the rest!
March 16, 2010 at 10:49 pm
This is Michael Jackson? okay for serious when I looked at it I thought it was supposed to be Ian Holm as Bilbo.
March 16, 2010 at 11:40 pm
Wooden you know it…. I think she made it with her feet.
March 16, 2010 at 11:57 pm
Is he supposed to look like he is being eaten by worms and tropical fish?
Or is that just me hallucinating again?
March 17, 2010 at 12:56 am
This is horrifying, what is wrong with his face? D:
March 17, 2010 at 2:47 am
Why didn’t they finish it? They could of made it a Jacko Clock.
March 17, 2010 at 4:35 am
MJ looks like he has a goiter
March 17, 2010 at 5:07 am
Voxwoman @84, you beat me to it. Spittin’ image of Jackie Mason. God knows how he got into MJ’s clothes.
March 17, 2010 at 7:29 am
I love how it doesn’t look like the intended subject at all, but rather like some random disheveled guy you might see sitting in a diner.
March 17, 2010 at 8:59 am
Michael Jackson.
Thought it was Aaron Neville.
(google it)
March 17, 2010 at 5:37 pm
Damn Michael, wood makes you look fat.
March 17, 2010 at 10:10 pm
It looks like either
A: Michael Jackson had a serious thyroid problem
or
B: It’s actually a current portrait of MJ, after decomposition has begun and the body starts to swell from the release of gasses in the body.
I’m going for B. That would also explain the thing under his eye and the teeth.
March 18, 2010 at 10:11 am
The King of Pop wants to eat your cheeseburgers, preciousss..
March 18, 2010 at 3:27 pm
Hey! A limited-edition wood-burning from the Rankin-Bass cartoon of “The Hobbit”!
Oh, wait.