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Forewarned is Forearmed

It may not be handmade, but at least she has an excuse.

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78 comments on Forewarned is Forearmed

  1. voxwoman
    March 16, 2010 at 8:52 am

    My aunt had wallpaper and a couch made out of that fabric. Oh yeah, I forgot ’80′s is vintage now.

    Thumb up Thumb down +12

  2. sudabaki©
    March 16, 2010 at 8:53 am

    Since when is Ann Taylor vintage? It looks like an ugly couch and why is there a chandelier hanging outside?

    Thumb up Thumb down +43

  3. bootsychoo
    March 16, 2010 at 8:54 am

    That’s definitely level 4 cropping.

    Thumb up Thumb down +46

  4. razberries
    March 16, 2010 at 8:54 am

    my guess is that the mannequin had “man hands” and they were so big that she couldn’t fit the sleeves over them…yeah, that’s it.

    Thumb up Thumb down +23

  5. Snark-o-leptic Cesar
    March 16, 2010 at 8:56 am

    Why would you were that jacket to get a raise…….I mean it already ROSE!

    Thumb up Thumb down +36

  6. geektastic
    March 16, 2010 at 8:56 am

    I don’t think it says “you deserve that raise”. Not sure what it says, but I don’t think it’s that.

    Thumb up Thumb down +42

  7. AgoutiAvenger
    March 16, 2010 at 8:57 am

    The hands are being aged in a drawer by someone else.

    Thumb up Thumb down +73

  8. X Random Snarker X
    March 16, 2010 at 8:58 am

    Ugly as hell fabric, questionable vintageness if that’s even a word (not likely), but I must admit that I like the cut of that jacket!

    Thumb up Thumb down +13

  9. X Random Snarker X
    March 16, 2010 at 8:59 am

    Whoa… Uber flowers, jeans, cowboy boots… I’m sure that just screams “I need a raise”… to buy some new clothes that is!

    Thumb up Thumb down +23

  10. AgoutiAvenger
    March 16, 2010 at 9:00 am

    Size 2 petite? The jacket says I want to be Molly Ringwald’s Pretty in Pink character and I deserve something to eat.

    Thumb up Thumb down +16

  11. Cineaste
    March 16, 2010 at 9:01 am

    Not unlike Scarlett O’Hara making a dress out of the curtains to snare a husband, Jane cut up her gammy’s porch sofa for a jacket that would get her a raise.

    Thumb up Thumb down +63

  12. lampshade
    March 16, 2010 at 9:01 am

    @ #2: For whimsy. Apparently the handless mannequin wouldn’t suffice.

    Thumb up Thumb down +7

  13. Snark-o-leptic Cesar
    March 16, 2010 at 9:02 am

    No hands needed? I think that is an outfit for people who are already handsome!

    Thumb up Thumb down +6

  14. curlytopnola
    March 16, 2010 at 9:02 am

    by the looks of that photo, that poor hand-less girl is forced to live outside b/c of her questionable taste in raise-deserving, rodeo-going jackets…but at least she has all the comforts…a chandelier, a mirror, a dresser.

    Thumb up Thumb down +17

  15. Skully
    March 16, 2010 at 9:03 am

    @#2 Suda: Yeah, what IS up with the outdoor chandelier? Reminds me of my kid’s book Wacky Wednesday: Went outside to get some air, saw two wacky things out there.

    Thumb up Thumb down +18

  16. captaincavegirl
    March 16, 2010 at 9:04 am

    I think what that jacket actually says is, “You deserve to have your hands amputated if you wear it.”

    Thumb up Thumb down +19

  17. Snark-o-leptic Cesar
    March 16, 2010 at 9:05 am

    #2 Sudabaki – What? You don’t keep your chandelier in the garden?

    You just don’t understand fashion.

    Thumb up Thumb down +33

  18. voxwoman
    March 16, 2010 at 9:05 am

    #15 Skully, Maybe it a picture of a yard sale?

    Thumb up Thumb down +10

  19. joshpincusiscrying
    March 16, 2010 at 9:11 am

    How did she button up that jacket?

    Thumb up Thumb down +36

  20. hamoza
    March 16, 2010 at 9:13 am

    Boy, when the gardener pruned those roses he hacked off more than he should have.

    Thumb up Thumb down +34

  21. X Random Snarker X
    March 16, 2010 at 9:14 am

    That mannequin should be happy!
    We’re all just jealous of her gigantic anime eyes

    Thumb up Thumb down -1

  22. LeeLooDallas
    March 16, 2010 at 9:15 am

    Quick! Somebody knit up some handless gloves!

    Thumb up Thumb down +35

  23. Wilma Fingerdoo
    March 16, 2010 at 9:23 am

    Now if she was posed with the other two Charlie’s Angels I might consider…
    But then they couldn’t do that hand-gun pose that I like so much because you were too lazy to attach the fucking hands.

    Thumb up Thumb down +7

  24. incidentalice
    March 16, 2010 at 9:25 am

    She spells classy and classic with a K. That’s all we need to know.

    Thumb up Thumb down +26

  25. steviesegel
    March 16, 2010 at 9:27 am

    I think EVERYBODY’s grandmother had this loveseat fabric at one time or another…..

    Thumb up Thumb down +6

  26. hamoza
    March 16, 2010 at 9:28 am

    #24, I kouldn’t agree more.

    Thumb up Thumb down +7

  27. priceless
    March 16, 2010 at 9:30 am

    Etsy: Where struck out Ebay sellers go to die.

    Thumb up Thumb down +26

  28. LeeLooDallas
    March 16, 2010 at 9:30 am

    “Keep your hands off my mannequin!”

    Thumb up Thumb down +21

  29. waningestrogen
    March 16, 2010 at 9:30 am

    Do the Mom jeans come with it?

    Thumb up Thumb down +11

  30. Wilma Fingerdoo
    March 16, 2010 at 9:31 am

    I like that she got a nice ’80′s style bumpit on the wig for this Members Only jacket. How would she hold the can of Aqua Net though?
    http://www.etsy.com/view_listing.php?ref=vl_other_2&listing_id=42573615

    Thumb up Thumb down +5

  31. hamoza
    March 16, 2010 at 9:32 am

    Hopefully when she has her mitts reattached , they’ll throw in a little nose job.

    Thumb up Thumb down +5

  32. MAG
    March 16, 2010 at 9:33 am

    Guess when it was purchased orginally the comment was made, “Hands off! That’s my jacket!”

    Thumb up Thumb down +3

  33. twatsupcock
    March 16, 2010 at 9:33 am

    I had a jacket similar to this in the 80′s. But I also had hands too.

    Thumb up Thumb down +15

  34. Snark-o-leptic Cesar
    March 16, 2010 at 9:34 am

    I know where the hands are.

    They are counting all the money that she got with the raise!

    Thumb up Thumb down +9

  35. cratz
    March 16, 2010 at 9:35 am

    The most amazing thing about it is that it’s clearly not handmade, so obviously she DID make it with her feet. Looks like it.

    Thumb up Thumb down +7

  36. Chrisnyc1213
    March 16, 2010 at 9:36 am

    I must have this. I hate it when I’m tending to my rose bush and my annoying neighbors stop by for a chat. Now I can just blend right in and they’ll never even see me.

    Thumb up Thumb down +24

  37. sudabaki©
    March 16, 2010 at 9:36 am

    #30 Wilma Fingerdoo: I’m thinking someone just died and she’s trying to make a few bucks off all the stuff that was crammed in the garage. She’s doesn’t know anything about retro fashion “classic bomber jackets everywhere.”

    Thumb up Thumb down +6

  38. pencer
    March 16, 2010 at 9:41 am

    it’s could be because she didn’t like her first three models. I mean one of them doesn’t even pay attention

    http://www.etsy.com/view_listing.php?ref=vl_other_2&listing_id=25055922

    Thumb up Thumb down +7

  39. LeeLooDallas
    March 16, 2010 at 9:43 am
  40. Wilma Fingerdoo
    March 16, 2010 at 9:43 am

    #37 suda-
    You must be right. Why else would you sell Victoria Secret lingerie as vintage? Who buys used lingerie?? I wouldn’t want vintage spooge or pubes near me.
    http://www.etsy.com/view_listing.php?listing_id=37591274

    Thumb up Thumb down +5

  41. Wilma Fingerdoo
    March 16, 2010 at 9:44 am

    OH, and I bet she doesn’t do hand jobs in that gown.

    Thumb up Thumb down +15

  42. LeeLooDallas
    March 16, 2010 at 9:50 am
  43. voxwoman
    March 16, 2010 at 10:03 am

    OMG I just gave one of those “bomber jackets” to my kid! She wanted it, so it’s hers instead of getting tossed in the “clothing drive” pile with the rest of my “vintage 80′s” clothes that I will Never. Wear. Again.

    Thumb up Thumb down +4

  44. Snark-o-leptic Cesar
    March 16, 2010 at 10:04 am

    #40 Wilma – Vintage pubes? I’d like to see that on Antique Roadshow.

    Thumb up Thumb down +17

  45. kittyofassisi
    March 16, 2010 at 10:39 am

    So what’s called vintage at Etsy is iffy. SO is ART! Actually I like the jacket. Love the colors & pattern. If I were a size 2 petite I might buy it. But if I was a size 2 petite I’d be in Hawaii soaking up the sun right now not sitting here playing on the internet instead of working.

    Thumb up Thumb down +17

  46. HelenaHandbasket
    March 16, 2010 at 10:39 am

    Those roses musta been the cheapo ones that “men” buy at the cash register when they pay for gas at the White Hen Pantry-all full of thorns.

    Thumb up Thumb down +5

  47. kittyofassisi
    March 16, 2010 at 10:42 am

    LeeLoo! $125 for a fake fur muff & hat? I keep on getting my mind blown. You’d think I’d get used to the arrogance… or is it just stupidity.

    Thumb up Thumb down +8

  48. raven
    March 16, 2010 at 10:42 am

    Suburban Camouflage

    Thumb up Thumb down +16

  49. whaapplewha
    March 16, 2010 at 10:45 am

    I don’t understand how the chandelier and a mirror got in the backyard. How did she carry those out there if she doesn’t have any hands? Her teeth?

    Thumb up Thumb down +5

  50. starrydreams
    March 16, 2010 at 10:52 am

    “It may not be handmade, but at least she has an excuse”….LOL. Too funny Helen…

    Thumb up Thumb down +15

  51. mtopia
    March 16, 2010 at 10:53 am

    She looks so wistful thinking about what she is going to to with all the money from her upcoming raise. (Buy some hands, sigh).

    Thumb up Thumb down +6

  52. starrydreams
    March 16, 2010 at 10:58 am

    # 41-Wilma Fingerdoo- I agree, and the poor thing will never be master of her domain either.

    Thumb up Thumb down +8

  53. voxwoman
    March 16, 2010 at 11:08 am

    I think that Victoria’s Secret lingere is really from Fredrick’s of Hollywood, and you can get them new for 30 bucks (give or take) – it’s not like that’s expensive fabric or anything. Is she also selling vintage underpants?

    Thumb up Thumb down +7

  54. SuperSnark
    March 16, 2010 at 12:20 pm

    It looks like she goes shopping for vintage at the Goodwill Outlet aka “The Bins” in my neck of the woods, there is a reason the crap there is one step from a landfill!

    Thumb up Thumb down +6

  55. IscreamUscream
    March 16, 2010 at 12:23 pm

    There’s something jarring about “cropped” when the mannequin has lopped-off hands…

    Thumb up Thumb down +8

  56. Efit
    March 16, 2010 at 12:36 pm

    @#1 – Correction: 90′s is vintage now. Yeah. *shudder*

    Thumb up Thumb down +4

  57. blondeweezie
    March 16, 2010 at 12:45 pm

    http://www.etsy.com/view_listing.php?listing_id=38724153

    Holy Krap. This is taking the whole “clutch purse” thing too far.

    Thumb up Thumb down +13

  58. pantsmonkey
    March 16, 2010 at 12:49 pm

    BUT IS IT YELLOWED TO PERFECTION???!!!?!!?

    Thumb up Thumb down +14

  59. hamoza
    March 16, 2010 at 1:00 pm

    #57, oh jeezuz, somehow I missed that. Krap is right. Is there any living thing off limits from people making a profit on? Guess not. Sickening.

    Thumb up Thumb down +12

  60. kipper
    March 16, 2010 at 1:18 pm

    If that jacket is vintage, I’ll eat my own hands.

    Thumb up Thumb down +9

  61. IscreamUscream
    March 16, 2010 at 1:24 pm

    Ms. Handless Mannequin needs a handyman…maybe she can hook up with the Muffler Man? I bet he could properly install that chandelier indoors.

    Not p’shopping right now–here’s that muffler guy:
    http://farm1.static.flickr.com/6/8975899_26d3e148f8_o.jpg

    Thumb up Thumb down +3

  62. twatsupcock
    March 16, 2010 at 2:37 pm

    I wonder if Bella got mad at her for not buying her bath stuff and tore off her hands.

    Thumb up Thumb down +7

  63. angie
    March 16, 2010 at 3:14 pm

    you’d think that mannequin would prefer some sort of pullover…

    Thumb up Thumb down +5

  64. batontwirler1
    March 16, 2010 at 4:33 pm

    Did anyone notice the cat on the bench in this one?

    http://www.etsy.com/view_listing.php?listing_id=25055922

    Thumb up Thumb down +3

    • pandainspandex
      May 8, 2011 at 1:53 am

      I used to have that statue in my backyard when I was a kid :) (I swear, my parents WANTED me to turn out as a crazy cat lady)

      Thumb up Thumb down 0

  65. geektastic
    March 16, 2010 at 4:44 pm

    I will admit to having a cat garden statue, so I can’t really snark on that. The first step is to admit you have a problem.

    Thumb up Thumb down +5

  66. batontwirler1
    March 16, 2010 at 4:49 pm

    #65 – no problem here with cat garden statues (been known to have 1 or 2 myself) – just though it looked like the Regretsy kitty.

    Thumb up Thumb down +5

  67. Vile & Evil Debbie Downer
    March 16, 2010 at 5:55 pm

    An eccentric but kind scientist took pity on our poor, handless mannequin:

    http://twitpic.com/191a0o

    Thumb up Thumb down +12

  68. mergatroid
    March 16, 2010 at 6:07 pm

    There’s a joke about Kim Cattrall in here somewhere…

    Thumb up Thumb down +6

  69. IscreamUscream
    March 16, 2010 at 6:17 pm

    @VEDD :lol: Classic! Now she can finally get to those hedges…

    Thumb up Thumb down +4

  70. geektastic
    March 16, 2010 at 6:56 pm

    #67 Vile & Evil Debbie Downer: *snort*
    I’ve been snorting a lot today.

    Thumb up Thumb down +2

  71. geektastic
    March 16, 2010 at 6:57 pm

    #66 batontwirler1 :

    #65 – no problem here with cat garden statues (been known to have 1 or 2 myself) – just though it looked like the Regretsy kitty.

    It does at that. Perhaps it is an enhanced version of a departed loved one.

    Thumb up Thumb down +5

  72. laughinglurker
    March 17, 2010 at 4:41 am

    I think Granny might be buried in the back yard and she’s trying to get rid of her effects.

    Thumb up Thumb down +1

  73. PussDaddy
    March 17, 2010 at 5:39 pm

    OMG wear this and carry a bucket of those bordello flowers in the other blog post and present them to your boss and your ass is sure to get a raise. In fact your whole body will probably raise a few inches off the ground when your boss kicks your ass the hell off the premises.

    Thumb up Thumb down +1

  74. NedTheDeadInRed
    March 17, 2010 at 6:23 pm

    Come on folks, let’s give her a big hand…

    Or two.

    Thumb up Thumb down +3

  75. clitty’s got claws
    March 17, 2010 at 9:52 pm

    That poor handless, chipping mannequin doesn’t need to be subjected to the internet.

    And neither does this (for a completely different reason though):
    http://www.etsy.com/view_listing.php?ref=vl_other_2&listing_id=24592286

    Thumb up Thumb down +3

  76. geektastic
    March 18, 2010 at 2:46 am

    Holy crap WTF is that?! Eeeeeek! Run away!

    Thumb up Thumb down +1

  77. clitty’s got claws
    March 19, 2010 at 2:49 am

    ” #76 geektastic :

    Holy crap WTF is that?! Eeeeeek! Run away! ”

    Lol, that was pretty much my reaction too!

    Thumb up Thumb down 0

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