Is it made out of meat?
Whosoever’s meat it was, their body is a blunderland!
Hidden due to low comment rating. Click here to see.
Your body is a wonderland.
*Whomsoever*. Up all night for work and only 3 coffees so far; my brain is a blunderland.
Not the necklace but the toggle clasp is whimsical.
My brain is a blunderland would make a better meat necklace. With its whimsical clasp.
That “necklace” came out of a hole but it wasnt a rabbit hole.
I’m thinking she has a whimsical grasp on what would indeed make a whimsical clasp!
I do wonder…why?
“Whomsoever” is a word? Maybe I need a few more coffees, too. *sigh* Eight years of post-secondary, and I still have to look up words. DAMN YOU IVY LEAGUE!!!!!
I think it’s actually a pretty big accomplishment to create a child’s shaky-handed crayon drawing as a three-dimensional object. She deserves some props for that.
I think she fell down a hole in Wyoming.
#10 Mookie – I just had to check too, haha! Discovered too that I was okay anyway in the first place with ‘whosever’. Oh well, any excuse for more coffee is a darn fine one.
Maybe the artist created this necklace while on a “trip” down her own personal rabbit hole. This looks like the kind of thing I would make in high school when I was really stoned and felt like being “creative”.
I beat my meat like it owes me money!
Wait…is that glitter?
No wonder she’s charging $15!!
Next Stop, Wonderland.
(come on… someone else must have seen that movie!)
I’m wondering all right – like what the fuck is whimsical about a toggle clasp and what she’s been smoking out of the etsy pipe.
Why do bad tramp stamps come to mind when I see this?
Off with thier heads!!!
or maybe it should be hands so they can’t make any more of this shit.
Not so good is it? Only good grief.
It looks like those clay-smelling dog treats. You know, like the ones that are supposed to look like little steaks
The crappy clay work I can ignore, but the clasp and the chain are not the same colour, and that just screams lazy to the jewelry maker in me.
More wonder from the land of blunder.. http://www.etsy.com/view_listing.php?listing_id=41778229
And this delightful ‘Island Tower’ ring that kinda looks to me like someone’s rotting amputated digit.. or a rotting amputated *something*.. O_O http://www.etsy.com/view_listing.php?listing_id=42370846
It looks like we have a case of dual personality here.
Good girl: http://www.etsy.com/view_listing.php?listing_id=21145445
Evil girl: http://www.etsy.com/view_listing.php?listing_id=41531100
I really shouldn’t even look at shit like this on Friday night after working my ass off all week… but this is some damn ugly fuckery.
DEf. does not look kosher.
#25 FrankieP :
And this delightful ‘Island Tower’ ring http://www.etsy.com/view_listing.php?listing_id=42370846
Aah! It’s like a killer mutant potato.
“your body has my hands on it”
As soon as I saw this necklace I imagined Andy Bernard singing that song.
Uh crimeny, hand painted? Looks like it was hand mauled.
its her name, obviously. alison wonderland.
See, this is what happens when you drop 50 hits of acid. Everything starts to bleed together.
should’ve taken the red pill and the other rabbit-hole.
Makes me want to take a trip down a k-hole.
It looks like it’s melting like papier mâché in the rain, or gumdrops in the oven, or some strange combination of the two.
This: http://www.etsy.com/view_listing.php?listing_id=42264915 makes the mauled meat necklace seem almost desirable. I’m truly frightened of the tree.
She says she has a fourteen inch neck “ALL THE WAY AROUND”. Perhaps she has some spatial perception disorder that also inhibits her ability to paint within the lines?
“So lightweight, you won’t even know you’re wearing the necklace half of the time. ”
Dear God, can you imagine suddenly realizing you’re wearing that after having managed to forget it?
“Plus, this is unique and one of a kind, and if ever there another one made, it’ll not look the same.”
Well at least she spelled whimsical correctly.
Though that word in any description is never a selling point for me.
I detest whimsy.
Looks like a red-thumb assault here on Regretsy
Wassup–you didn’t get that pony as a kid?
it looks like chewed pieces of saltwater taffy dipped in glitter.
is this made of bacon?
so, is Alice in Wonderland gonna be the new Twilight in the Etsy artists’ world?
@#39- Didn’t get the pony and now we’re making fun of his/her favourite, ahem, film:
@#42- Anything is better than more Twilight garbage; I’m talking to you Stephanie Meyer!
I think its upcycled medical waste made with used cotton balls from the dentist’s office.
If you detest whimsy so much then why do you hang out with us and all our fuckery?
I can’t stand when people make stuff because of trendy popular crap.
But then I see how crappy it is and I just laugh.
I think the artist missed the boat here. I’d love to see this at about twice the size as a belt that sits low on the hips.
#39 IscreamUscream “Looks like a red-thumb assault here on Regretsy
Wassup–you didn’t get that pony as a kid? ”
YES – I noticed that too and watched for a bit, it mostly happened very quickly after this posting came up on Regretsy. HMMM… I blunder – sorry, WONDER – who it could be???????
“If you have a larger neck, it might hand differently on you.”
Then there’s her lovely “Ying and Yang” necklace:
I could be wrong, but shouldn’t a ying and yang pendant only have two basic colors? With this one being red, black, and white, what’s the third color? Yong?
I realize, of course, that it’s “yin” and yang. Which I meant to correct after quoting her creative title. Argh. When will we be able to edit our comments here, anyway? Clumsy idiots like me need all the help we can get….
#49-she got that pendant cheap and couldn’t come up with anything else trendy to call it.
#48-that thing “hand”s me and I’m callin’ the cops!
Great Cheezus on a ritz, that winter faces thing is nightmare inducing. It reminds of a scene in Pink Floyd’s The Wall that made me almost as nauseous as looking at that “pendant”.
#49, looks more like Thing and Thang
Unrelated, but my SO just sent me this link http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wsELQmqZwAw , hysterical video fuckery.
is Alice in wonderland the Twilight of copyright infringing crap?
Looks like this needs to take a trip down the shithole…
A: does it melt
B: is it edible
looks like it was made in Stevie Wonder land.
#62 should be comment of the day…bwah..ha..ha.
“Why oh why didn’t I take the blue pill?”
As a very young jewelry maker, I think she has potential. BUT, rule # 1, do not make the big friggin’ focal point of a necklace something that looks like chewed up/regurgitated breakfast.
Once again, I am bored, so you will be subjected to my fuckery:
This is to go with that hideous tower thing ring she has:
Note the whimsicle clasp.
These are from a while ago, but I think they make a nice set:
I want to know what makes these people look at their creations and say to themselves, “yeah, you know what? that looks pretty freaking sweet. someone is bound to give me money for this, and then wear it with pride.”
“#52 Whawhawhatsis :
Then there’s her lovely “Ying and Yang” necklace:
I could be wrong, but shouldn’t a ying and yang pendant only have two basic colors? With this one being red, black, and white, what’s the third color? Yong?”
You think this is a new symbol for menage a tois relationships???
Yinag, Yang, and Bang?
That would be Ying…
i missed you too, thumbs-downers, now go back to kicking kittens.
Never fear! Here is a version where the wobbly, meaty texture would look great:
fabulous, VEDD! And delicious as well.
Here’s an improvement on the seller’s disgusting Faces of Winter pendant. I call it Faces of Floyd:
*sigh* I wish I could still get high.
And to think I decided against making jewelry because I didn’t think I was good enough.
#74 geektastic- don’t we all…
I keep my polymer clay “experiments” locked in the basement, to be taken out in moments of doubt and self-loathing (to reinforce them). I would never subject the public to them…. until now…
Alice in Baconland.
@VEDD mmmm, bacon.
Nothing burps better than bacon.
Ah ha! There is bacon in Alice in Wonderland. I thought I remembered a piggie.
sadly, the whimsical clasp is the best part.
The only “rabbit hole” this reminds me of, is the one under a rabbit’s tail.
Okay, well – these are just too much fun NOT to make.
Too much coke and crafting = this http://www.etsy.com/view_listing.php?listing_id=41778229
Did she hold the paint brush in her cooter to do this?
Looking through her shop, it’s so contradictory. She makes some really cute jewelry — but then she tries her hand at the polymer clay crap. Why can’t someone who makes many pretty things see that her clay efforts resemble a kindergartner on crack? There’s a lot of things in her shop that I’d actually buy–but I really don’t want to support an artist who has NO ability to differentiate between good stuff and total incompetence. There’s a lesson here for sellers: Do it well before you…
Someone left the cake out in the rain.
I’ve heard that Alice is way better after you’ve taken some, uh, herbal supplements. Maybe she didn’t wait long enough for them to wear off.
Crap. I thought I’d made it under the 500-character wire.
OH EM GEE! I have been off the Regretsy (and everything else-tsy) grid for awhile, so I TOTALLY MISSED THE AWESOME DINGLEBERRY AWESOMENESS! I feel a little tingly. If I had a clay penis, it might even be a little glazed.
OK, I said I wasn’t going to tell you guys where the turds are, but I changed my mind. Here are my accidental turds. Don’t say I never did anything for you.
That yin & yang pendant. More like ping & pong.
Also looks like Sarah Coventry costume jewelry to me.
And the faces of winter – run over by a bus.
#90 ~ pantsmonkey
Your accidental turds are lovely. Great colours!
But did you notice the knot in background wood looks just like one of the faces of winter?
spandy: Awesome. I wonder how much I can sell it for.
If it hadn’t been for the description, I wouldn’t have known what the necklace read. It’s almost completely illegible.
Pantsmonkey, Congrats on your store! Beautiful jewelry, btw.
Pantsmonkey, now, it’s not THAT turd like. Some of us just have imaginations that run in, uh, that direction. And I see nothing else in your store that suggests any kind of excrement to me. Favorited.
oh the irony
Thanks, all. Will return all the heart favors shortly. It probably is true that Regretsy has trained us to see turds everywhere we look. I see stuff All THE TIME that makes my snark nerve twitch.
@Pantsmonkey, I looked at your work…and your Sedona necklace is pretty cool! I would give that as a gift to a gf, I gave that a <3. Overall, I think you have good color sense too.
"Regretsy has trained us to see turds everywhere we look"
Because…there really are turds everywhere. Too much lacks skill or inspiration. It's hard to sort through that site and find good work–it takes hours.
@Pants–alcohol. Alcohol is good for twitchy nerves.
I knew there was a fine art to blending Polymer clay colours but OH MA GAWDDD… Maybe she visited the Smoking Caterpillars to channel some inspiration – and the vision became cloudy?
I reckon a drunken Cheshire Cat with additional 12 paws covered in melted butter and cling wrap could have done better.
AUGH can’t…go….much longer…without…new….fuckery
Speaking of fuckery. Does anyone ever wonder who has the lowest feedback score on etsy? Am I totally fucked up for even wanting to read it? You know it’d be juicy.
You want fuckery? I gotcher fuckery right here!
(it’s big, but I think it’s worth it. And yes, I couldn’t sleep, why do you ask?)
THE NEWEST ETSY SELLER!
I would so love to see the Etsy seller with the lowest feedback! It’d be an awesome read!
#57 IscreamUscream :
Thing, thang, thong…
My eyes!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Take it away!!! I can’t stand to look at it anymore!!!
When I saw this as a thumbnail I thought it was a huge cluster of those needle-felted vaginas on a chain. Now THAT would be a necklace worth seeing.
I think I win for most thumbs down. (#3) I didn’t think it was t-h-a-t bad.
Jesus Christ, I had to register just so I could share this…. Not been following regretsy long, so apologies if this artists work is already known, but the meaty wonder wasn’t the best thing that came up when I searched for Wonderland…
THIS was: http://www.etsy.com/view_listing.php?ref=vl_other_1&listing_id=42304694
@jojo—84? obviously a lot of lurkers took offense
I forgot when I posted that last bit of whimsicle fuckery to credit mekon (@ post #101) for the idea. It makes more sense if you read that first.
Now this is really fugly, but I guess that’s the point. It’s a necklace about what happens when I see some of the crapola that sells on etsy:
I feel that seller is needlessly exclusionary in creating a necklace for a ’14 inch neck all the way around’. What about those of us that have a 12 inch neck at the front, 16 on the sides and 14 at the back? Where’s the necklace for them, huh?
109- We are well aware of Vulva Love Lovely, but I for one never miss a chance to ‘appreciate’ her strange wares. Very apropos find, and welcome to Regretsy!
Love to read VulvaLoveLovely’s descriptions of her own merchandise, which always manage to provide new meaning to the word “wrong.”
If God meant me to wear a vagina around my neck, He would have put one there…which would make intercourse a completely different experience, I guess.
Okay, Helen…I know you are just a volunteer, but many of us count on you to keep some laughs in our lives of otherwise quiet desperation.
Not trying to put pressure on you, but we are waiting with baited breath to see the next crafter with delusions of artisanry.
#115- we’re like a cluster of r***rded children tugging at her hem
I didn’t think Regretsy did weekends. I thought Bella last weekend was an anomaly. Are we waiting for something in particular?
I used to do Saturdays, but I just wore out.
I do post on the Facebook group on weekends and late nights.
@109, man that necklace totally sucked until I could figure out what it said!
Well…you do deserve your breaks, especially after that eBay listing fiasco, good-gawd!
Much as I want to be selfish and throw a tantrum because you’re taking weekends off, it’s hard to object since you’re doing *such* a masterful job during the week of providing such a fine choice of fuckery for our entertainment. So thanks for what you do, even if we always will want more!
Ebay bullshit is one thing-post hospital/medical another altogether…easy to forget how recent that was, due to the always fresh & potent whimsicality!
All fabulous fuckery in due time….
It’s the only reason I’m on facebook-to enjoy extra fuckery.
geektastic- totally. And some of the facebook fans pick up the slack during HK’s much deserved downtime.
That being said, I still get cranky when she’s gone.
#109,OMFG , & good of you to register & share that lovely necklace. I think most here would agree that a vagina necklace w/o a working timepiece, is just a dull piece of fuckery.
A little next-level fuckery while we wait:
geektastic, does that say ‘etsy’ or ‘goatse’? LOL
I really need to switch to making and selling jewelry……..Etsy seems to be the place to make and sell fugly jewelry!
#110 Did everyone thing I meant HK? Or did I get so many reds for being lame?
#126 Nequam. That was fabulous!
#126- too funny!!!
#126 Nequam-awesome. Bonus is that I love to listen to Swedes speak.
The thumbs-down lurker is getting lazy. This page is old. Try harder, unfriend!
Good lord, she’s going to make more… from her Twitter:
“Going to work on new spring pieces in polymer clay…thinking about new daisy designs on oval cabs…”
Wha…I get red-thumbed because I like to listen to the Swedish language? Are there a bunch of Westboro Baptist people here?
Someone needs to tell this girl to put her hands in the air and step away from the polymer clay.
IT SOLD!!!! O_O
Was it one of us?? And the most important question – will somebody actually WEAR it?
You must be logged in to post a comment.
The term "Etsy" is a trademark of Etsy, Inc. This site is not affiliated with Etsy, Inc.