a card and a snuggie ideal for:
Born Again Christian, insecure & in her 40′s, lives in Colorado & she is cold alot, she is also very skinny.
She also loves her cat.
Whenever it’s critical that the products I buy are absolutely pure and and nonallergenic, I always rely on total strangers for goods made at home with no regulation or oversight whatsoever.
Poor girl, I wonder if she would have an “episode” if her child took the time to make something special for her instead of outsourcing “the thought that counts”.
“exposed to too many things to list” – how on earth are people to know then what they can use for the products? (and chances are that when they get the list of the things they actually CAN use, those will exceed the 10 dollars in raw ingredients alone…). Let’s tell her to put raw honey on her cold sores, that actually helps, of course she will be allergic to apis mellifera…
I am very,very,very,very,very,very. Did I mention very interested in seeing an “episode.” I will pay you the 10.00 for your sweet gift if I can watch an “episode.”
Double if I can film it.
And yes. Don’t fret my pet the LOVE cards are still included.
I love episodict people. Especially the unpredictable ones. Good times.
Any cat loving, insecure, skinny, prone to episodes mom would be so excited to have her child broadcast that over the internet. With a child like that who needs a gift?
I like how she snuck the cold sore cream in between chocolate and “pretty face stuff”, which is a good way to operate. Sandwich a negative between two positives.
I always love the idea that natural and organic things are not chemical and thus one could not possible be allergic to them. People are only allergic to artificial things like nuts and seafood and milk…
Now, if we really worked at it, I’m sure we could figure out what she’s allergic to just by reading the post. I mean, she has a cat, and can eat chocolate, so there’s a start! Just throw some ideas out, people, it doesn’t matter if they’re stupid, let’s just get a dialog going.
color me confused on this.. .. she told us her mom has strong allergies, that she’s a little necrotic, she liked cats and is too thin (hm the description doesn’t really say to me “hey i really know and love you”)
she put some descriptive tags up.. .. oh hm the three items.. some weird balm, a chocolate and make up.. thats … im not sure i would eat the chocolate after the sore balm.
for ten dollars that’s guna be an itty bitty teensey basket
A few things popped into my head once I read this.
1: If you add gossipy, bitchy, and 25 years to the age, it’s a dead ringer for one of my aunts.
2: I’m guessing the cold sores started before she became a Born Again Christian.
3: I don’t think the “episodes” are caused by any physical sensitivity or allergy. I think the “episodes” are really “manic episodes” from not taking her lithium like her doctor told her to. Either that or the “episodes” are from the spirit of Jesus…
…possessing her body, a spirit of a demon possessing her body, or just the mere fact that she’s a Born Again Christian.
4: I’m guessing her insecurities come from a daughter who doesn’t want to spend more than $10 on her, including the card, and also posts the fact that the woman is insecure and some personal information about her on the internet, where anyone and everyone in the world can see what her daughter posted about her.
Those are just about the only things that popped into my…
Herpes ointment is not a gift. No wonder the poor thing has episodes. I would, however, like to see the entire list of things that are her triggers, just so that I can feel better about myself.
Someone should mention to this kid that hugs are free and they help Moms with sensitivity, insecurity, make her feel warmer, feel younger and might help her put on weight.
I’ve got it in one item, a “hand crafted” bottle of Xanax and catnip laced Irish Catholic whiskey, replete with Carmex dipped cork. The label is the card.
Man, I just spent $30 on two vintage china rabbits to complete the set that Mom inherited from her mother, and considers some of her dearest sentimental possessions.
I am such a tool. I had no idea that nothing says “thoughtful” like cheap goods produced by random strangers.
tanaise – you also missed that she’s got “coffee” tagged. I’m thinking a certified pre-owned coffee can, with a picture of Jesus glued on the front. Inside: chocolate cats. Do they make chocolate cats? If not, we’ll just stick some malt balls & cat hair in there and call it $85.
+ herpes cream.
I just think if ever a mom deserved to hit the Etsy pipe, it’s this one.
Damn, I hope I never, ever have one of my daughters list an “About my Mom” description to pawn off a thoughtful gift purchase for me.
(Plus, I’m truly frightened as to how my girls would describe me…)
LOLLLL
I saw this posted last night on the FB fan page…hysterical.
If I were that girl’s mother, I’d kill her for outting the fact that she has herpes…(and sounds like a nut)
I just want to clarify to everyone that cold sores are not necessarily always an STD – yes, they are a form of herpes, but some people just get them without having contracted them via sexual contact.
This mom sounds like she needs a hug and a new child.
…didn’t finish my thought before I hit Submit. I worked at WF and crazy weird OCD / “prone-to-episodes” types were our bread and butter. $10 will get you a recycled tote bag, a chunk of nasty soylent brown (carob) and some lip creme. GOOD LUCK
Seriously, the passive-aggressive childhood rage going on here is astounding. Last year I felt bad because all I got my mom for mother’s day was a $30 pair of sterling silver earrings. Apparently I’m daughter of the year!
I think one of us should bid on this just to see how high the bidding goes. geez, my first hint at dysfunction was the “Born Again Christian”, maybe mom got bad cold sores and “episodes” coming out the Jesus birth canal. It probably would fuck me up pretty bad too.
You actually can’t use html in the comments; something I’m trying to fix. If you see links or pictures posted, it’s because I saw them and coded them for you. – HK
Given the general insanity this may seem a little pedantic.. but there is no such thing as a treatment free from chemicals. Unless of course this person wants to give her mother a plasma composed of sub-atomic particles. Water is a chemical, glucose (the stuff that every cell in your body depends on for energy) is a chemical. I have nothing against organic products but this kind of unscientific bullshit really pisses me off.
March 4, 2010 at 9:21 pm
i don’t even know where to start with this….
the whole thing had me shaking my head…..
cold sore lip balms? wtf indeed….
March 4, 2010 at 9:22 pm
and I thought my mom was hard to shop for….damn!
March 4, 2010 at 9:25 pm
a card and a snuggie ideal for:
Born Again Christian, insecure & in her 40′s, lives in Colorado & she is cold alot, she is also very skinny.
She also loves her cat.
March 4, 2010 at 9:30 pm
Hidden due to low comment rating. Click here to see.
March 4, 2010 at 9:30 pm
Whenever it’s critical that the products I buy are absolutely pure and and nonallergenic, I always rely on total strangers for goods made at home with no regulation or oversight whatsoever.
March 4, 2010 at 9:34 pm
#5 and expect to pay a maximum of $10
March 4, 2010 at 9:36 pm
Poor girl, I wonder if she would have an “episode” if her child took the time to make something special for her instead of outsourcing “the thought that counts”.
March 4, 2010 at 9:38 pm
I certainly don’t want to be around for one of her mum’s “episodes”, that sounds less than pleasant.
March 4, 2010 at 9:44 pm
Haha! Your born-again mom has herpes.
March 4, 2010 at 9:46 pm
wow. just dont know where to start with this one.
March 4, 2010 at 9:51 pm
I would like to buy my mom some self esteem – $10 max.
March 4, 2010 at 9:55 pm
“exposed to too many things to list” – how on earth are people to know then what they can use for the products? (and chances are that when they get the list of the things they actually CAN use, those will exceed the 10 dollars in raw ingredients alone…). Let’s tell her to put raw honey on her cold sores, that actually helps, of course she will be allergic to apis mellifera…
March 4, 2010 at 10:05 pm
Items for gift basket:
1. Tube socks 3-pack
2. Carmex
3. Lint roller
4. Glow-in-the-dark dashboard Jesus
5. Snickers
HAPPY EASTER, MOM
March 4, 2010 at 10:11 pm
How about a brass crucifix -brass is natural-with that little ‘ extra something’ ?
That might loosen her up.
March 4, 2010 at 10:13 pm
Hey Mum! So I wanted to get you something personalized, so I paid a stranger on the internet ten dollars to make it for you! Happy Easter!
March 4, 2010 at 10:14 pm
A bottle of Vodka.
With a profile like that she needs a drink – unless of course, alcohol triggers “episodes”.
March 4, 2010 at 10:15 pm
this can’t be real? it so sounds like a satirical story i’d make up
March 4, 2010 at 10:32 pm
I happen to have two very nice tin foil love cards that were made at the New Dimension’s Center in Colorado.FREE envelopes!!!!!!
March 4, 2010 at 10:39 pm
RCB hahahaha!
I’m way ahead of you guys:
http://i761.photobucket.com/albums/xx256/geektastic_whimsy/Regretsy%20NSFW/herpes_basket.png
March 4, 2010 at 10:40 pm
I am very,very,very,very,very,very. Did I mention very interested in seeing an “episode.” I will pay you the 10.00 for your sweet gift if I can watch an “episode.”
Double if I can film it.
And yes. Don’t fret my pet the LOVE cards are still included.
I love episodict people. Especially the unpredictable ones. Good times.
March 4, 2010 at 10:41 pm
I wish we could see the bids. That would be sooo entertaining.
March 4, 2010 at 10:42 pm
#19 geektastic : RCB hahahaha!
I’m way ahead of you guys:
PERFECTO GEEKTASTIC- you created a basket case.
March 4, 2010 at 10:46 pm
Any cat loving, insecure, skinny, prone to episodes mom would be so excited to have her child broadcast that over the internet. With a child like that who needs a gift?
March 4, 2010 at 10:47 pm
that’s just sad
March 4, 2010 at 10:51 pm
I like how she snuck the cold sore cream in between chocolate and “pretty face stuff”, which is a good way to operate. Sandwich a negative between two positives.
March 4, 2010 at 10:52 pm
The girl who wants it all but doesn’t want to pay for it.
The seller would spend $10 on materials alone, plus their time to handcraft it; add to that the cost of shipping and a trip to the postal outlet!
This gal is better off going to Target for her one stop shopping.
March 4, 2010 at 11:13 pm
WANTED: “one stop shop” to buy a tender gesture of affection that I can use to impress someone I have little respect for.
March 4, 2010 at 11:46 pm
I always love the idea that natural and organic things are not chemical and thus one could not possible be allergic to them. People are only allergic to artificial things like nuts and seafood and milk…
Now, if we really worked at it, I’m sure we could figure out what she’s allergic to just by reading the post. I mean, she has a cat, and can eat chocolate, so there’s a start! Just throw some ideas out, people, it doesn’t matter if they’re stupid, let’s just get a dialog going.
March 4, 2010 at 11:50 pm
Maybe some all natural 10 dollar chocolate flavored pretty face cold sore lip balm?
March 5, 2010 at 12:01 am
@#28 She’s not allergic to uhmm Jesus? Once again?
March 5, 2010 at 12:08 am
How about a picture of a bear getting intimate with a girl? The bear represents Jesus.
March 5, 2010 at 12:16 am
Good, good, so that’s chocolate, jesus and cats. I’m thinking chocolate Jesus statue, I’m thinking Jesus outfits for the cat…Good start, good start!
March 5, 2010 at 12:30 am
color me confused on this.. .. she told us her mom has strong allergies, that she’s a little necrotic, she liked cats and is too thin (hm the description doesn’t really say to me “hey i really know and love you”)
she put some descriptive tags up.. .. oh hm the three items.. some weird balm, a chocolate and make up.. thats … im not sure i would eat the chocolate after the sore balm.
for ten dollars that’s guna be an itty bitty teensey basket
March 5, 2010 at 12:33 am
Mom isn’t just Christian, she’s “Born Again Christian” so the hand made card should include a lecture.
March 5, 2010 at 12:44 am
Geektastic…… your basket is missing a cat.. it needs a cat. she likes cats
March 5, 2010 at 12:49 am
How much to buy a clue?
March 5, 2010 at 12:57 am
@#31 Chocolate Jesus/Jesus outfits for her cats? I’m on it!
March 5, 2010 at 1:08 am
I’m thinking Jesus crackers, cheez wiz & a chocolate egg under her pillow.
March 5, 2010 at 1:15 am
A few things popped into my head once I read this.
1: If you add gossipy, bitchy, and 25 years to the age, it’s a dead ringer for one of my aunts.
2: I’m guessing the cold sores started before she became a Born Again Christian.
3: I don’t think the “episodes” are caused by any physical sensitivity or allergy. I think the “episodes” are really “manic episodes” from not taking her lithium like her doctor told her to. Either that or the “episodes” are from the spirit of Jesus…
March 5, 2010 at 1:18 am
…possessing her body, a spirit of a demon possessing her body, or just the mere fact that she’s a Born Again Christian.
4: I’m guessing her insecurities come from a daughter who doesn’t want to spend more than $10 on her, including the card, and also posts the fact that the woman is insecure and some personal information about her on the internet, where anyone and everyone in the world can see what her daughter posted about her.
Those are just about the only things that popped into my…
March 5, 2010 at 3:26 am
This is hilarious. The mom is not the one I’m feeling bad for here at all.
March 5, 2010 at 4:18 am
I think the best gifts for this woman do not involve little meterial trinkets.
Stop over and see your mother more often, even if she can be a pain in the ass.
March 5, 2010 at 5:16 am
Herpes ointment is not a gift. No wonder the poor thing has episodes. I would, however, like to see the entire list of things that are her triggers, just so that I can feel better about myself.
March 5, 2010 at 6:28 am
Yes, Alex, I’ll take Presents for Insecure Cold Mothers for $10.00.
March 5, 2010 at 6:31 am
#32 – I hope you mean neurotic, not necrotic (dead cells and tissue), but maybe you do! This is a mighty weird Alchemy.
March 5, 2010 at 6:52 am
Someone should mention to this kid that hugs are free and they help Moms with sensitivity, insecurity, make her feel warmer, feel younger and might help her put on weight.
Just apply daily as needed.
March 5, 2010 at 7:02 am
insecure and in her 40s made me crack up
March 5, 2010 at 7:26 am
Hidden due to low comment rating. Click here to see.
March 5, 2010 at 8:03 am
I’ve got it in one item, a “hand crafted” bottle of Xanax and catnip laced Irish Catholic whiskey, replete with Carmex dipped cork. The label is the card.
March 5, 2010 at 8:04 am
Man, I just spent $30 on two vintage china rabbits to complete the set that Mom inherited from her mother, and considers some of her dearest sentimental possessions.
I am such a tool. I had no idea that nothing says “thoughtful” like cheap goods produced by random strangers.
March 5, 2010 at 8:23 am
Touching really…When you care enough to send the very best…and all that good stuff.
Too bad we can’t see what Mom ends up with
March 5, 2010 at 8:33 am
tanaise – you also missed that she’s got “coffee” tagged. I’m thinking a certified pre-owned coffee can, with a picture of Jesus glued on the front. Inside: chocolate cats. Do they make chocolate cats? If not, we’ll just stick some malt balls & cat hair in there and call it $85.
+ herpes cream.
March 5, 2010 at 9:05 am
I just think if ever a mom deserved to hit the Etsy pipe, it’s this one.
Damn, I hope I never, ever have one of my daughters list an “About my Mom” description to pawn off a thoughtful gift purchase for me.
(Plus, I’m truly frightened as to how my girls would describe me…)
March 5, 2010 at 9:08 am
LOLLLL
I saw this posted last night on the FB fan page…hysterical.
If I were that girl’s mother, I’d kill her for outting the fact that she has herpes…(and sounds like a nut)
March 5, 2010 at 9:46 am
Geektastic: Perfect a basket for a basket case!
$10.00 budget+cheap assed daughter=dollar store Easter!
Perhaps daughter should apply the ten bucks to Mom’s co-pay to get her meds to cope with the “episodes”. Nothing says “I love you” like xanax!
March 5, 2010 at 9:51 am
I just want to clarify to everyone that cold sores are not necessarily always an STD – yes, they are a form of herpes, but some people just get them without having contracted them via sexual contact.
This mom sounds like she needs a hug and a new child.
March 5, 2010 at 9:57 am
Too bad the pipe cleaner cats are waaaay out of her budget, they would be the final touch for geektastic’s gift basket!!!
March 5, 2010 at 10:08 am
here’s an idea: go to a drug store and buy stuff for your mom you cheap ass!!!!
Holy fuck.
March 5, 2010 at 10:24 am
@Suda, yeah–nice bit of flattery for mom.
I’ll put up $10 for a nice kick in the pants for that requester.
March 5, 2010 at 10:40 am
I actually thought it was sweet until I got to “cold sore…” Then it fell apart completely.
March 5, 2010 at 10:48 am
Go to Whole Foods, you doofus.
March 5, 2010 at 10:54 am
…didn’t finish my thought before I hit Submit. I worked at WF and crazy weird OCD / “prone-to-episodes” types were our bread and butter. $10 will get you a recycled tote bag, a chunk of nasty soylent brown (carob) and some lip creme. GOOD LUCK
March 5, 2010 at 11:05 am
this person obviously hates their mother.
March 5, 2010 at 11:07 am
Why can’t we see the bids? Why oh why???
Seriously, the passive-aggressive childhood rage going on here is astounding. Last year I felt bad because all I got my mom for mother’s day was a $30 pair of sterling silver earrings. Apparently I’m daughter of the year!
March 5, 2010 at 12:17 pm
a special Easter basket by iamhydrogen14, on Flickr
March 5, 2010 at 1:45 pm
something about this makes me think of e-harmony??
March 5, 2010 at 1:48 pm
how hard is a handmade card?
March 5, 2010 at 2:09 pm
I think one of us should bid on this just to see how high the bidding goes. geez, my first hint at dysfunction was the “Born Again Christian”, maybe mom got bad cold sores and “episodes” coming out the Jesus birth canal. It probably would fuck me up pretty bad too.
March 5, 2010 at 3:05 pm
I’m just going to assume that this daughter is included in the ‘too many things to list’ list.
March 5, 2010 at 5:02 pm
I just want to know why her $10 max, 1 stop shop isn’t to CVS. I’m pretty sure you can get all that there…
March 5, 2010 at 6:38 pm
PUT THE F**KING LOTION IN THE BASKET!!!
March 5, 2010 at 10:51 pm
Nice work iamhydrogen! You have talent! And a future on Etsy, you lucky thing!
March 6, 2010 at 12:32 pm
Oh, and awesomesauce on the PS!
March 6, 2010 at 12:41 pm
Crap, left out a quotation mark. Let’s try the link photobucket suggests
test kitty image
You actually can’t use html in the comments; something I’m trying to fix. If you see links or pictures posted, it’s because I saw them and coded them for you. – HK
March 6, 2010 at 2:29 pm
Given the general insanity this may seem a little pedantic.. but there is no such thing as a treatment free from chemicals. Unless of course this person wants to give her mother a plasma composed of sub-atomic particles. Water is a chemical, glucose (the stuff that every cell in your body depends on for energy) is a chemical. I have nothing against organic products but this kind of unscientific bullshit really pisses me off.
March 6, 2010 at 2:30 pm
Of course if you want an all natural gift, why not try a dose of arsenic?
It’s an element so pretty much as pure as you can get, and i guarantee it’ll cure your mother of her ‘episodes’
March 6, 2010 at 6:32 pm
this has got to be a joke. A very funny joke.
March 6, 2010 at 6:33 pm
I wonder if she got any responses from potential gentlemen callers.