Is there any other garbage in your friend’s car? Because I could use some cigarette butt cuff links and a Big Gulp fascinator.

Not pictured; Mrs. Rochester, locked in the potting shed

What a great place to pose your kid. Maybe next time she can find someone moving a piano into a second story apartment with a crane.

If only there were some way to look up the lyrics to a song before you made a poster. That would be so great.

FUCKERY UPDATE: Regretsy reader IScreamUScream has provided us with this blank.