I actually would have worn that today. it is freakin, cold, wet and windy, and I want to look like a cross between a drag queen and a doctor when I am out walking my dogs in a muddy field.
First thing I thought of was a sparkly beak. But I like methuselah’s suggestion of a yarmulke gone awry. Whatever it is, it’s 100% guaranteed that people will notice. They will also point and laugh.
Also, if she tries to go anywhere on that trike she’s going to strangle herself. That’s on the list with ‘posing on train tracks’ as ‘not the brightest thing you’ve done this week’.
I’ve been trying to find my life’s calling…I know, I’ll make face masks with leftover scrap fabric and sequins! I’ll be helping people. I’ll be capitalizing on their fears…
@#29 – Oh! I is stoopid people. Thanks for the clarification. I was trying to figure out how this would look on my 1yo. If you check out my avatar, he’s already wearing a surgeon’s cap. This would actually complete the look. Someone photoshop please!
Let’s just say that hypothetically, I do graffiti. Hypothetically. (Not in reality, because it’s against the law and everything.) But if I DID, then I would point out that
1. This type of mask would not protect you from SHIT as far as fumes.
2. It also would not protect you from other graf people smacking you in the face. Or at the very least, laughing their asses off and posting photos of how ridiculous you are all over flickr street art groups.
is this some sort of cosplay kink I’ve never heard of?
Not that I’ve heard of it so much….it was just that one time, and…..oh never mind, I’m going back to work now….
Recovering Crack Baby
February 25, 2010 at 3:10 pm
Fpr some reason I think this would look better on a big pair of balls. I don’t know why- golden balls, brass balls, big balls… fancy big balls. Fuck- I wrote that last shit and now I can’t get that AC/DC Big Balls out of my head.
If you wore this and the brass pendant necklace from the previous post at the same time, in the grocery store, which would the people at the cash register notice first?
Recovering Crack Baby
February 25, 2010 at 3:15 pm
#51 whaapplewha : I’m gonna need a little more information. Exactly where would both of these brassy things be located upon arriving at the check-out? What would they be purchasing? Lastly, did I come to work high that day?
#53 recovering…
The brass necklace would be worn around your neck, of course. And the nose warmer/mask would be worn as the model is wearing it. Regardless of whether or not it’s a cold day, the mask would still be in service because of the dreaded swine flu.
The purchase is not relevant, but my guess would be cheap beer and snack food items, such as potato chips and Hot Pockets.
Ah. The last one is a trick question. You don’t have a job. But you are high.
Recovering Crack Baby
February 25, 2010 at 3:26 pm
Trick question. Answer. The purchase is the most important part. Being aware of every item where her hand has been is the most important part of the transaction.
I guess you could use the coax pendant to play Ghost in the Shell or The Matrix, and then this girl-muzzle mask would limit your oxygen intake and make the game seem more real.
Recovering Crack Baby
February 25, 2010 at 3:34 pm
#54 whaapplewha:Ah. The last one is a trick question. You don’t have a job. But you are high
You are right. I would be in line with a Slim Jim, a beer with that energy shit in it (why don’t people just drink and do a line of meth anymore)and a suduko monthly.
If I wasn’t staying up all night writing a proposal (yes my work life is HELL this week), I would PS a rotweiler, pitbull, or doberman wearing that mask and a noodle necklace collar. Because it looks like a very upscale dog muzzle to me
things I’ve learned from regretsy:
Rule #1 don’t drink and sew
Rule #2 don’t share hoodies with people with dreadlocks
Rule #3 dont trust people that use the word faerie.
Rule #3 don’t put your penis in something, photograph it, then try to sell it
And perhaps the most important of all
Rule #4 don’t buy useless articles of clothing.
like this sequined fucking facemask.
*sigh* If ONLY Michael Jackson were still alive, you just KNOW that he would buy this!
I wouldn’t want to use this near any kind of fumes (although it looks like the creator was sniffing some fumes herself while making this). I would think that the fumes would melt and fuse together the sequins and eventually suffocate me. But maybe that would be a better end for me if I were ever to wear something like this.
February 25, 2010 at 1:32 pm
What does she do with the other bra cup?
February 25, 2010 at 1:33 pm
I’m sure the sequins filter out any harmful viruses…
Oh wait, I meant to say sequence!
February 25, 2010 at 1:33 pm
You know what happens if you wear sequins over your nose and expect it to combat paint fumes?
FATALITY!
February 25, 2010 at 1:34 pm
Well, it’s different all right.
February 25, 2010 at 1:34 pm
Oh, and forget about those bulky respirators! Now you can paint without the extra expence of new cartridges with this sequined bit of fuckery!
February 25, 2010 at 1:35 pm
At least in this: http://www.etsy.com/view_listing.php?listing_id=40996419
you could breathe!
February 25, 2010 at 1:35 pm
#3 you read my mind!!
February 25, 2010 at 1:35 pm
I think it started out as a yarmulke and got out of hand.
February 25, 2010 at 1:35 pm
@ #1
Uses it as a gas mask!
http://www.switched.com/2009/10/03/bra-gas-mask-wins-ig-nobel-prize/
I wish I was making that up.
February 25, 2010 at 1:35 pm
How fucking ridiculous.I think I’d rather get the flu than wear this obnoxious accessory.
February 25, 2010 at 1:35 pm
Perfect for those days when you just want to bite someone!
February 25, 2010 at 1:35 pm
Hidden due to low comment rating. Click here to see.
February 25, 2010 at 1:36 pm
It also doubles as a hat for your monkey accordion player.
February 25, 2010 at 1:36 pm
I actually would have worn that today. it is freakin, cold, wet and windy, and I want to look like a cross between a drag queen and a doctor when I am out walking my dogs in a muddy field.
February 25, 2010 at 1:37 pm
bling for the Tokyo bullet trains
February 25, 2010 at 1:38 pm
Nothing hotter than a bunch of gold tin foil on your face.
February 25, 2010 at 1:39 pm
is she sitting on a tricycle?
February 25, 2010 at 1:39 pm
If it’s warm enough for the models to wear tank tops, it isn’t cold enough to look that ridiculous.
February 25, 2010 at 1:39 pm
So they market it for a child, yet this silly Asian chick is wearing it. And sitting on a tricycle. Seems very fetishy to me.
February 25, 2010 at 1:39 pm
I wonder if there are any breathing holes in it?
February 25, 2010 at 1:40 pm
It would not surprise me if some paranoid celeb putz wears this on the red carpet.
February 25, 2010 at 1:41 pm
#13- buffoon.
Yes, she is sitting on a tricycle. Maybe she’s on her way to go graffiti up some storefront.
February 25, 2010 at 1:41 pm
First thing I thought of was a sparkly beak. But I like methuselah’s suggestion of a yarmulke gone awry. Whatever it is, it’s 100% guaranteed that people will notice. They will also point and laugh.
February 25, 2010 at 1:41 pm
Also, if she tries to go anywhere on that trike she’s going to strangle herself. That’s on the list with ‘posing on train tracks’ as ‘not the brightest thing you’ve done this week’.
February 25, 2010 at 1:42 pm
#4- that is my new fave thing
February 25, 2010 at 1:43 pm
@ #5
I’m now picturing someone being attacked by predatory yarmulkes. They latch on to you like the facehugger from ALIEN!
February 25, 2010 at 1:45 pm
Is there a market for these thing now that Michael Jackson is gone?
February 25, 2010 at 1:45 pm
Who bedazzled my bill?
February 25, 2010 at 1:47 pm
the only thing this mask could possibly be meant for is to rub the inside with vicks vapor rub and dance all night to german techno
February 25, 2010 at 1:47 pm
I can just see a surgeon wearing that in the OR!!
February 25, 2010 at 1:47 pm
I want on that looks like the alien face sucker! Now that would turn some heads!
February 25, 2010 at 1:48 pm
FATALITY!!!!!
(Well it will be once your breath releases the fumes from the airplane glue she used to put the sequins on.)
February 25, 2010 at 1:48 pm
#15 Efit – i don’t think she’s marketing it as a child’s mask. i think the masked is named “Golden Child”.
February 25, 2010 at 1:48 pm
*mask, even
February 25, 2010 at 1:49 pm
It’s missing something.
Like a shiny brass cable fitting.
February 25, 2010 at 1:52 pm
I’ve been trying to find my life’s calling…I know, I’ll make face masks with leftover scrap fabric and sequins! I’ll be helping people. I’ll be capitalizing on their fears…
February 25, 2010 at 2:00 pm
Seriously though, those medical masks are hard enough to breathe through without layers of someone’s musty old skants leftovers superglued on.
Oh and from the cdc.gov website:
“Like surgical masks, N95 respirators should be worn only once and then thrown away in the trash.”
$20 for something you can SAFELY wear once? Hmmm…that’s a whimsicle fuckery if ever there was one!
February 25, 2010 at 2:07 pm
@#29 – Oh! I is stoopid people. Thanks for the clarification. I was trying to figure out how this would look on my 1yo. If you check out my avatar, he’s already wearing a surgeon’s cap. This would actually complete the look. Someone photoshop please!
http://www.flickr.com/photos/moxierev/4387709747/?deletedcomment=1
February 25, 2010 at 2:14 pm
You can buy it and dress up as Paint Huffer Guy for halloween!!!
http://rookery5.aviary.com/storagev12/3207500/3207843_9d8d_625x625.jpg
February 25, 2010 at 2:14 pm
#34 Efit– That face is too precious to bedazzle; even for the sake of snark! He’s adorable!
February 25, 2010 at 2:15 pm
@#35 mickey – thanks! But don’t you mean, “too precious to exploit on Regretsy”? Haha. Life is fun.
February 25, 2010 at 2:39 pm
Let’s just say that hypothetically, I do graffiti. Hypothetically. (Not in reality, because it’s against the law and everything.) But if I DID, then I would point out that
1. This type of mask would not protect you from SHIT as far as fumes.
2. It also would not protect you from other graf people smacking you in the face. Or at the very least, laughing their asses off and posting photos of how ridiculous you are all over flickr street art groups.
February 25, 2010 at 2:42 pm
These would come in handy if you are a vampire and want to be incognito.
February 25, 2010 at 2:49 pm
This will look sophisticated with my pasta necklace and the gold will accent the old wind-up toy platypus.
Now to find the right pair of skants to wear and I’ll be set for my dinner party.
February 25, 2010 at 2:50 pm
I read it as “Golden Child Noose” two times in a row. The creation from my inept brain was better than this reality.
February 25, 2010 at 2:50 pm
#38 Lexiii: Well, it DOES sparkle.
February 25, 2010 at 2:53 pm
@ #38: Especially if you’re Edward Cullen.
February 25, 2010 at 2:53 pm
Ah bootsychoo! You beat me, damn you.
February 25, 2010 at 2:55 pm
If anything, we could cut off this poor girl’s head and use it for a disco ball. . .
February 25, 2010 at 2:59 pm
#44 twatsupcock I just wanted to type your name
February 25, 2010 at 3:00 pm
She should change the name of her shop to Ow Fuck. Everything in it is an ow fuck waiting to happen.
February 25, 2010 at 3:01 pm
Apparently she has been through a bad case of SARS and has been scarred for life having to be seen in public with a plain old white one.
February 25, 2010 at 3:10 pm
is this some sort of cosplay kink I’ve never heard of?
Not that I’ve heard of it so much….it was just that one time, and…..oh never mind, I’m going back to work now….
February 25, 2010 at 3:10 pm
“GET OVER HERE!”
February 25, 2010 at 3:10 pm
Fpr some reason I think this would look better on a big pair of balls. I don’t know why- golden balls, brass balls, big balls… fancy big balls. Fuck- I wrote that last shit and now I can’t get that AC/DC Big Balls out of my head.
February 25, 2010 at 3:11 pm
Riddle me this:
If you wore this and the brass pendant necklace from the previous post at the same time, in the grocery store, which would the people at the cash register notice first?
February 25, 2010 at 3:13 pm
shit I wrote Fpr instead of for- I was however think ing Full-blown Paranoid Retard when I did it.
February 25, 2010 at 3:15 pm
#51 whaapplewha : I’m gonna need a little more information. Exactly where would both of these brassy things be located upon arriving at the check-out? What would they be purchasing? Lastly, did I come to work high that day?
February 25, 2010 at 3:22 pm
#53 recovering…
The brass necklace would be worn around your neck, of course. And the nose warmer/mask would be worn as the model is wearing it. Regardless of whether or not it’s a cold day, the mask would still be in service because of the dreaded swine flu.
The purchase is not relevant, but my guess would be cheap beer and snack food items, such as potato chips and Hot Pockets.
Ah. The last one is a trick question. You don’t have a job. But you are high.
February 25, 2010 at 3:23 pm
I think Eddie Murphy deserves royalties for this one…
http://www.flickr.com/photos/27900808@N06/4388617478/
February 25, 2010 at 3:25 pm
The perfect “bling” accessory to wear while using your gaga zen rake!!!!!!
February 25, 2010 at 3:26 pm
Trick question. Answer. The purchase is the most important part. Being aware of every item where her hand has been is the most important part of the transaction.
February 25, 2010 at 3:27 pm
she must have boxes of masks leftover from the SARS epidemic
February 25, 2010 at 3:31 pm
I guess you could use the coax pendant to play Ghost in the Shell or The Matrix, and then this girl-muzzle mask would limit your oxygen intake and make the game seem more real.
February 25, 2010 at 3:34 pm
#54 whaapplewha:Ah. The last one is a trick question. You don’t have a job. But you are high
You are right. I would be in line with a Slim Jim, a beer with that energy shit in it (why don’t people just drink and do a line of meth anymore)and a suduko monthly.
February 25, 2010 at 3:34 pm
#57 Recovering… wow! you’re all zen and shit. I feel like I’m being trained Mr. Miyagi in his dojo. Wax on, wax off.
I humbly bow to your wisdom.
February 25, 2010 at 3:34 pm
Hidden due to low comment rating. Click here to see.
February 25, 2010 at 3:37 pm
#60 Recovering… regarding your question about people doing meth: hard times, my friend. Hard times.
February 25, 2010 at 3:39 pm
If you used it to rob a bank – no one would remember what the rest of you looked like.
February 25, 2010 at 3:40 pm
#61 whaapplewha : I bow back to your wisdom and love of fuckery
February 25, 2010 at 3:43 pm
#65 recovering: I am honored.
February 25, 2010 at 4:09 pm
Hidden due to low comment rating. Click here to see.
February 25, 2010 at 4:12 pm
Maybe it would be better at a giant eye patch?
Who am I kidding? It’s awful no matter how you spin it.
February 25, 2010 at 4:14 pm
#69 (cool) use it to rob a bank in vegas…and use the cock gun of course
February 25, 2010 at 5:07 pm
I can hear the police scanner now:
“All units be on the lookout for a liquor store bandit wearing a gold sequined mask. Suspect is described as being ‘Different and Spectacular.’”
February 25, 2010 at 5:21 pm
I have no doubt that if Michael Jackson were still with us, he’d be wearing one of these.
February 25, 2010 at 5:22 pm
OK, #28 Efit—this is for you (the boy is adorable)…
http://picasaweb.google.com/lh/photo/YP24-WruAO90RM4xHf4a-w?feat=directlink
February 25, 2010 at 5:22 pm
Oops I meant #38 Efit.
February 25, 2010 at 5:26 pm
@raz -that PS was AWESOME!
If I wasn’t staying up all night writing a proposal (yes my work life is HELL this week), I would PS a rotweiler, pitbull, or doberman wearing that mask and a noodle necklace collar. Because it looks like a very upscale dog muzzle to me
February 25, 2010 at 5:27 pm
and my snarky comment:
So *that’s* what happened to my belly dancing costume!
February 25, 2010 at 5:42 pm
If Peaches LaTour finds out what you did to her G-string, she is gonna be PISSED!
February 25, 2010 at 5:48 pm
artizlife –
golden mask: 19.99
choco bacon: 10.00
this photoshop: PRICELESS!
February 25, 2010 at 6:01 pm
THIS IS IT! This is the ultimate sackdazzled!
http://twitpic.com/15cn1l
February 25, 2010 at 6:07 pm
#83 that pic leaves me with one reaction *twitch*
February 25, 2010 at 6:11 pm
#83 Vile…. I had forgotten about that picture. I feel a little sick.
February 25, 2010 at 6:14 pm
That thing is great… unless you have bad breath!
February 25, 2010 at 6:18 pm
things I’ve learned from regretsy:
Rule #1 don’t drink and sew
Rule #2 don’t share hoodies with people with dreadlocks
Rule #3 dont trust people that use the word faerie.
Rule #3 don’t put your penis in something, photograph it, then try to sell it
And perhaps the most important of all
Rule #4 don’t buy useless articles of clothing.
like this sequined fucking facemask.
February 25, 2010 at 7:22 pm
Different maybe, spectacular no.
So get off of the tricycle!
February 25, 2010 at 7:44 pm
#86 snark: oh man. I hadn’t thought about the bad breath aspect. That’s the kind of blowback no one wants.
February 25, 2010 at 9:49 pm
I keep imagining that under that mask is the worlds biggest shnoz.
February 25, 2010 at 10:26 pm
*sigh* If ONLY Michael Jackson were still alive, you just KNOW that he would buy this!
I wouldn’t want to use this near any kind of fumes (although it looks like the creator was sniffing some fumes herself while making this). I would think that the fumes would melt and fuse together the sequins and eventually suffocate me. But maybe that would be a better end for me if I were ever to wear something like this.
February 25, 2010 at 11:03 pm
Oh my God … a Schnozz Pod!
February 26, 2010 at 4:55 am
Helen I give you much respect for the Mortal Kombat reference.
February 26, 2010 at 10:37 am
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February 26, 2010 at 5:01 pm
@#77 artizlife – That’s awesome!! Been away from the ‘puter all day and just saw it. THANK YOU!!
February 26, 2010 at 6:18 pm
#50recovering crack baby, I am HONORED. You may type my name any fricking time you WANT!!!!!!
October 14, 2011 at 11:30 pm
Is this a Michael Jackson TragiCraft(TM)?
December 22, 2011 at 3:03 pm
The Golden Child Nose Warmer/Mask: Because screaming “everyone pay attention to me” is just tacky.
Remember all you wonderful snowflakes, all you need to be is different. Not in a significant way, or a good way. Just noticeably so.
The best kind.