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Saucy

Posted by Helen Killer

118 comments

Painting pasta with nail polish is not strangely sophisticated. It’s the kind of shit you do in occupational therapy after a head injury.

Filed in Garbage 118 comments

118 Comments

Add Comment

Feb 24, 2010
5:09 pm

#1 waningestrogen :

My pantry is hiding a small fortune!

Rate this comment: +75

Feb 24, 2010
5:10 pm

#2 mags :

Ok, I’d buy the painted pasta strand being strangely sophisticated, in that it almost looks like jewelry. Adding the windup platypus takes away any chance of sophistication. It’s kinda cute though.

Rate this comment: +14

Feb 24, 2010
5:10 pm

#3 wendyokoopa :

Oh Gee this looks like my First grade art project. No wait I think I made this in kindergarten once. Gee Mrs Craft lady did the teacher give you a good grade I sure hope so.

Rate this comment: +14

Feb 24, 2010
5:11 pm

#4 Firehorse :

Therapy after a head injury – so…if I keep beating my head on the desk eventually I’ll be able to make “art” like this?

Rate this comment: +63

Feb 24, 2010
5:12 pm

#5 LeeLooDallas :

She should only charge a penne for this thing.

Rate this comment: +317

Feb 24, 2010
5:12 pm

#6 waningestrogen :

I figure a 12-16 ounce bag of pasta could yield 6 cups or about $1,500.

Rate this comment: +101

Feb 24, 2010
5:18 pm

#7 Lola :

I’m so glad I saved all those shitty Happy Meal toys from when I was a kid. With all the pasta I hoard in case of a worldwide carbohydrate shortage, I’ll be freakin’ rich!

Rate this comment: +34

Feb 24, 2010
5:18 pm

#8 WrathOfFoamy :

All this pasta piece is missig is awesomesauce!

Rate this comment: +45

Feb 24, 2010
5:19 pm

#9 Recovering Crack Baby :

The Platypus is so random. I have to wonder did she design this around the platypus, the pasta or the fumes from the nail polish

Rate this comment: +105

Feb 24, 2010
5:20 pm

#10 littykidder :

Pretty saucy for ersatz beads. After the previous exposure it is almost a breath of fresh air.

Rate this comment: +18

Feb 24, 2010
5:20 pm

#11 jodirocks :

the perfect accessory for show n tell …oops i mean your next meeting at the office.
i think i made this in camp once but i had the sense to keep the wind up toys out of it. lol

Rate this comment: +10

Feb 24, 2010
5:20 pm

#12 whitmansspider :

What she *meant* was: hand painted with nail polish to give it a beautiful “pasta painted with nail polish” look.

Rate this comment: +47

Feb 24, 2010
5:22 pm

#13 Recovering Crack Baby :

Is this flame retardent

Rate this comment: +18

Feb 24, 2010
5:22 pm

#14 Patty has been abuducted by an alien :

Whoa, whoa, whoa… my husband DID NOT make anything like this when he went through his occupational therapy.

He used freakin’ glitter paint!

Of course, his lacked the sophistication that is an old wind-up toy.

Rate this comment: +77

Feb 24, 2010
5:22 pm

#15 Sculptor69 :

I have no words. This place makes me (daily) walk the line between laughter and just giving up being an artist. Stuff like this makes me want to quit; it’s so freaking depressing.

Rate this comment: +19

Feb 24, 2010
5:24 pm

#16 ciaohowdy :

The nail polish and plastic platypus push this pasta to new levels of BUY. Gotta wear this for my next kindergarten dance. My imaginary friend date will be so enthralled by my whimsicle sophistication.

Rate this comment: +38

Feb 24, 2010
5:25 pm

#17 littykidder :

#13 RCB, close-flame retarded.

Rate this comment: +7

Feb 24, 2010
5:27 pm

#18 ciaohowdy :

Hidden due to low comment rating. Click here to see.

Rate this comment: -13

Feb 24, 2010
5:27 pm

#19 Recovering Crack Baby :

Hidden due to low comment rating. Click here to see.

Rate this comment: -8

Feb 24, 2010
5:27 pm

#20 I am Bitter :

Lesson to seller: Do not give away your process in your description! You’ve just told the world how they could easily make their own pasta necklace and undercut your price!

Now you’re going to be seeing pasta necklaces for $45 and everyone is going to buy THOSE instead of YOURS.

Rate this comment: +113

Feb 24, 2010
5:28 pm

#21 PlatyPius :

I don’t care about the necklace, I want the platypus!

Rate this comment: +18

Feb 24, 2010
5:28 pm

#22 LeeLooDallas :

LOL #20!

Rate this comment: +21

Feb 24, 2010
5:29 pm

#23 gaycatpride :

If it had a wind up Bill Nighy, I’d consider it. In fact, maybe that guy ought to be making these. I’d get a wind-up Conan necklace, even IF it were made of ziti.

Rate this comment: +13

Feb 24, 2010
5:30 pm

#24 littykidder :

#19, RCB, I guess I’m a little slower than usual today.

Rate this comment: +9

Feb 24, 2010
5:30 pm

#25 pervocracy :

FIFTY DOLLARS?!?!

If this was made out of real beads–you know, the kind that aren’t FOOD, the kind that aren’t going to get mushy and rotten in six weeks even with your amazing nail-polish preservation process, the kind that don’t cost $1.50 for a pound–it wouldn’t be worth fifty dollars.

Rate this comment: +40

Feb 24, 2010
5:31 pm

#26 samner :

The perfect accessory for some sweatpants and rehab slippers.

Rate this comment: +47

Feb 24, 2010
5:31 pm

#27 Recovering Crack Baby :

Since 2007 she has been on ETSY and made one sale- a pr. of rubber ducky earrings. Everything else involves Pasta. I would guess she has some childhood issues

Rate this comment: +47

Feb 24, 2010
5:33 pm

#28 Recovering Crack Baby :

I see she makes a Nascar one as well. If I spilled my beer on that would the black run

Rate this comment: +12

Feb 24, 2010
5:34 pm

#29 Recovering Crack Baby :

#23- I am always slow

Rate this comment: +2

Feb 24, 2010
5:35 pm

#30 lyontamer :

Unless the insides of the pastas are also painted, she can delete that moisture-prevention part.

Rate this comment: +15

Feb 24, 2010
5:38 pm

#31 mtopia :

Hey shoelaces and pasta!
http://www.etsy.com/view_listing.php?ref=vl_other_1&listing_id=37032544

Rate this comment: +5

Feb 24, 2010
5:39 pm

#32 littykidder :

#28 -it doesn’t show, but all in good whimsicle fuckery fun.

Rate this comment: +8

Feb 24, 2010
5:39 pm

#33 crapgawker :

OMG – I’ve got some of these!! My daughter made them for me in 1st Grade years ago for Mother’s Day!!

I had no idea they were so valuable!

Rate this comment: +22

Feb 24, 2010
5:41 pm

#34 littykidder :

Love her description on this ~the blue birds flying ~over the nail polish fumes I hope.

http://www.etsy.com/view_listing.php?ref=vl_other_1&listing_id=37032544

Rate this comment: +3

Feb 24, 2010
5:43 pm

#35 IscreamUscream :

<3 the commentary, @ LeeLoo

definitely penne-ante jewelry.
So…I'm pretty sure "strangely sophisticated" is a self-canceling phrase.

Rate this comment: +16

Feb 24, 2010
5:45 pm

#36 sourkiwi :

I like how she says the platypus looks like it’s swimming down stream.

Just a shame the rest of it looks like it’s mid-stream.

Rate this comment: +12

Feb 24, 2010
5:46 pm

#37 GoldenGlow :

For $50, I’d better be able to eat the damn thing!

Rate this comment: +11

Feb 24, 2010
5:46 pm

#38 batontwirler1 :

I’m so glad she offers next day shipping. It would be so hard to have to wait for this.

Rate this comment: +46

Feb 24, 2010
5:49 pm

#39 UnaBee :

I…have to just….
I have to go get a beer.
I will not let the proliferation of old DVD’s, pasta necklaces, and lazy admins kill my resolve or morale.
I will craft on.
God help us all.

Rate this comment: +23

Feb 24, 2010
5:50 pm

#40 UnaBee :

“Lazy admins” referring, of course, to etsy admins who ignore flagging. Not referring to HK.

Rate this comment: +7

Feb 24, 2010
6:00 pm

#41 voxwoman :

Helen, can we get a “View It On A Plate”?

I think a small army of platypus wind-up toys would be awesome, however.

Rate this comment: +30

Feb 24, 2010
6:05 pm

#42 BettyMachete :

I’m confused. I thought the pasta was waterproofed. Then how/why is the platypus swimming?

Rate this comment: +21

Feb 24, 2010
6:06 pm

#43 Wilma Fingerdoo :

For 50 bucks it better be penne ala vodka.
With a 2 liter Ketel One included.

Rate this comment: +10

Feb 24, 2010
6:10 pm

#44 Wilma Fingerdoo :

Betty-
This might be more your speed.
http://www.etsy.com/view_listing.php?listing_id=37031699
Wear it to a Nascar race?

Rate this comment: +5

Feb 24, 2010
6:12 pm

#45 BettyMachete :

Thanks Wilma, but is it sophisticated enough for Nascar??

Rate this comment: +11

Feb 24, 2010
6:14 pm

#46 tanaise :

You wouldn’t think, but this makes me think more fondly of most of the penis art. I mean, they they’re creepy and weird, but at least the penis art involves some skill and thought.

Rate this comment: +12

Feb 24, 2010
6:16 pm

#47 UnaBee :

#44. That broke my brain. Thumbs up x3.

Rate this comment: +3

Feb 24, 2010
6:18 pm

#48 Recovering Crack Baby :

#44 BettyMachette- Don’t spill your PBR or Schmidt’s on it. Now about that doll in Wilma’s closet, you were saying something. Go ahead go on.

Rate this comment: +3

Feb 24, 2010
6:19 pm

#49 Sculptor69 :

#44 yes, i believe it is. the car is GOING THE WRONG WAY AROUND THE TRACK!!!! that’s IRONIC *and* sophisticated! \\stifles laughter into sleeve

Rate this comment: +10

Feb 24, 2010
6:23 pm

#50 Recovering Crack Baby :

Is it really art when you can change it’s color, to match all of your more sophisticated dresses, by using finger nail polish remover?

Rate this comment: +13

Feb 24, 2010
6:24 pm

#51 Chrisnyc1213 :

And to think I was going to spend my last $50 at the Olive Garden with my family.

Rate this comment: +9

Feb 24, 2010
6:28 pm

#52 Vile & Evil Debbie Downer :

Hey! Just so happens I’ve got about twenty bottles of leftover – but still liquid – nail polish from my gothier days. I CAN MAKE BLACK & BLUE PASTA JEWELRY, TOO!

Rate this comment: +3

Feb 24, 2010
6:31 pm

#53 cratz :

It would be more sophisticated to wear Mardi Gras beads year round.

Rate this comment: +13

Feb 24, 2010
6:32 pm

#54 bumKittens :

50 FUCKING DOLLARS?!?!

Either she’s the biggest dumbass on the planet, or she thinks everyone else is.

Rate this comment: +17

Feb 24, 2010
6:33 pm

#55 BettyMachete :

RCB- wouldn’t want to soggy up my sophisticated pasta durin the big race.
OK, that man…he’s about 4′3″ and well endowed. His name is Tyler and the teenagers discovered him in Wilma’s closet on Thanksgiving. He had on panties and was photographed. Made to Facebook. One niece said “it wouldn’t be a real Thanksgiving without an inflatable black man in my Aunt’s closet”

Rate this comment: +8

Feb 24, 2010
6:34 pm

#56 sudabaki© :

I dunno, maybe I’m just tired, but once I saw the price this just pissed me off.

Rate this comment: +24

Feb 24, 2010
6:37 pm

#57 Wilma Fingerdoo :

I don’t know if I could control myself if I saw someone wearing this. Would have to wind up that fuckin’ platypus so it flapped it’s tail on the stupid pasta necklace owner.
Kinda like a bitch slap. Plat slap?

Rate this comment: +12

Feb 24, 2010
6:37 pm

#58 BettyMachete :

RCB-I would post him as an Avatar, but that’s been a source of Anger Management on Regretsy.

@Sculptor69- might be more sophisticated if the race car was on tire noodles.

Rate this comment: +8

Feb 24, 2010
6:39 pm

#59 bootsychoo :

I’d pay the 50 bucks just to see something besides MacRectum on the home page.

Rate this comment: +12

Feb 24, 2010
6:39 pm

#60 mags :

I want to clarify that I think the platypus is cute, not the necklace.

Rate this comment: +8

Feb 24, 2010
6:40 pm

#61 razberries :

Maybe she can get a job at the Chef Boyardee Factory…

http://www.flickr.com/photos/27900808@N06/4386516824/

Rate this comment: +30

Feb 24, 2010
6:41 pm

#62 bootsychoo :

#52 cratz: Hey, now. *indignantly points at sleeping child avatar*

Rate this comment: +4

Feb 24, 2010
6:42 pm

#63 Wilma Fingerdoo :

Raz-
I’ll never look at canned pasta the same.
You rule.

Rate this comment: +5

Feb 24, 2010
6:45 pm

#64 BettyMachete :

Raz that was hilarious!

Rate this comment: +10

Feb 24, 2010
6:49 pm

#65 MAG :

Box of Pasta $1.00
Rubber Platypus $1.75

Trying to cash in on whimsical fuckery Priceless

Rate this comment: +14

Feb 24, 2010
6:54 pm

#66 hidden due to low comment rating2 :

Hidden due to low comment rating. Click here to see.

Rate this comment: -25

Feb 24, 2010
6:56 pm

#67 Wilma Fingerdoo :

OK-
Who farted?

Rate this comment: +5

Feb 24, 2010
6:58 pm

#68 Recovering Crack Baby :

#65 hidden due to low comment rating2 : come on over. We LOVE-LOVE-LOVE your kind out here.
Does your probation officer know you are doing shit like this?

Rate this comment: +17

Feb 24, 2010
7:06 pm

#69 Wilma Fingerdoo :

RCB-
I think the hair beads are the remains of the PO.

Rate this comment: +2

Feb 24, 2010
7:07 pm

#70 littykidder :

#58 Bootsychoo,I’ll match you dollar for dollar on that.
Oh , and Hidden again , don’t you ever get tired
of your endless rant?

Rate this comment: +13

Feb 24, 2010
7:12 pm

#71 Recovering Crack Baby :

#69 littykidder – fuckos never tire of attention- NEVER. They never ask for it either. They have to get it some other way due to NOBODY giving two fucks about them. Just a BIG PUSSY no one has ever liked.

Rate this comment: +8

Feb 24, 2010
7:13 pm

#72 BettyMachete :

Throws a dodgeball at Hidden.

Rate this comment: +15

Feb 24, 2010
7:15 pm

#73 Wilma Fingerdoo :

Betty-
Try some enameled pasta. It’ll leave a mark.

Rate this comment: +11

Feb 24, 2010
7:17 pm

#74 littykidder :

I guess for some , negative attention is better than none.
~sigh~
I think a lobotomy might be a good choice in this ’special case’

Rate this comment: +13

Feb 24, 2010
7:19 pm

#75 Recovering Crack Baby :

#73 littykidder I love how you think.

Rate this comment: +9

Feb 24, 2010
7:25 pm

#76 littykidder :

##74 <3 you back.
I tried to take the high ground but she is a bonafide butthole.

Rate this comment: +14

Feb 24, 2010
7:27 pm

#77 littykidder :

p.s. sign me up for the derby. I’m hell on wheels.

Rate this comment: +13

Feb 24, 2010
7:38 pm

#78 littykidder :

B4 I sign off here, (I’m weary from the ass-ault & Hiddens not so hidden agenda), I vote for #41 Voxwomans idea for a ‘view it on a plate’.
All kinds of awesomesauce possibilities!

Rate this comment: +13

Feb 24, 2010
7:44 pm

#79 mtopia :

Betty/Recovering am I seeing double?

Rate this comment: +8

Feb 24, 2010
7:46 pm

#80 cratz :

#62 bootsychoo – Aw, the sleeping child in your avatar is adorable. You know what I’m talking about – the sophistication level of the college kids who come to town (read: Bourbon St), and then go around wearing Mardi Gras beads in July.

Rate this comment: +4

Feb 24, 2010
7:50 pm

#81 razberries :

Voxman, since Chef Boyardee wasn’t good enough, here you go…LOL

http://www.flickr.com/photos/27900808@N06/4386650226/

Rate this comment: +17

Feb 24, 2010
7:51 pm

#82 BettyMachete :

raz- mmmmmmmmmmmmmmm platypus meatballs!

Rate this comment: +13

Feb 24, 2010
7:54 pm

#83 cratz :

raz, your ’shops are full of win!

Rate this comment: +7

Feb 24, 2010
7:59 pm

#84 razberries :

oops, I meant VoxWOman, no disrespect…my eyes get wonky typing this late at night (east coast time)

Rate this comment: +7

Feb 24, 2010
8:03 pm

#85 kipper :

This reminds me of when I was little and the neighbor kid and I would pick large rocks off the driveway, paint them with my mom’s acrylics and then sell them to the neighbors for 10¢ a pop.

But we were little kids. And we only charged 10¢.

Rate this comment: +22

Feb 24, 2010
8:06 pm

#86 hidden due to low comment rating2 :

Hidden due to low comment rating. Click here to see.

Rate this comment: -33

Feb 24, 2010
8:10 pm

#87 FootofCanal :

If you pitched this off a float into a crowd during the height of Mardi Gras, people would part like the Red Sea.
Where the hell is one supposed to wear this??

Rate this comment: +12

Feb 24, 2010
8:11 pm

#88 Vile & Evil Debbie Downer :

#45 tanaise, you can have your pasta necklace and your penises, too.

http://twitpic.com/156xin

Rate this comment: +17

Feb 24, 2010
8:24 pm

#89 Recovering Crack Baby :

#87- that is the fucking best- I am laughing so hard I have tears

Rate this comment: +7

Feb 24, 2010
8:42 pm

#90 Antiochus :

Hidden due to low comment rating. Click here to see.

Rate this comment: -6

Feb 24, 2010
8:50 pm

#91 UnaBee :

Um..what?

Rate this comment: +5

Feb 24, 2010
8:53 pm

#92 lilprincess :

The platypus wind up isn’t that old. I sell them. Of course, I don’t think THIS is particularly the use they were intended for.

Rate this comment: +7

Feb 24, 2010
9:01 pm

#93 Snark-o-leptic Cesar :

One can only discuss such art with plat-y-tudes.

Rate this comment: +16

Feb 24, 2010
9:57 pm

#94 clitty's got claws :

Betty and RCB…I…I…I think I love you guys!

And Raz, love the photoshops, like always

You know, when I looked at this, I don’t ever recall making pasta necklaces, I always used actual beads as a kid…

Rate this comment: +12

Feb 24, 2010
10:04 pm

#95 IscreamUscream :

<3 all the photoshops!

On another note…I thought this site was about humor, wassup there?

Rate this comment: +11

Feb 24, 2010
10:16 pm

#96 Snark-o-leptic Cesar :

#95 I thought Regretsy was about sarcasm and humor…….and crappy self indulgent narcissistic artists.

Lately its all about emotional roller skating.

Rate this comment: +12

Feb 24, 2010
10:20 pm

#97 ThisJustMakesMeSad :

OK, I think I can explain part of what happened here:

She was waiting for the water to boil for the pasta and decided to do her nails. However, upon opening the bottle, the intoxicating aroma became far too irresistible (she should have had the stove top fan on for better ventilation)and as a direct result confusion set in which later escalated into an influential madness.

I still can’t explain the platypus though. Sorry, my bad.

Rate this comment: +9

Feb 24, 2010
10:32 pm

#98 PinwheelPeeWee :

I love how the description in each says that it’s the “perfect fun yet strangely sophisticated necklace.”

Which one? They can’t both be perfect seeing as they are not the exact same. That’s just illogical. So…. which one is the “perfect fun yet strangely sophisticated necklace, and which one is the “NEAR perfect fun yet strangely sophisticated necklace?”

Rate this comment: +3

Feb 24, 2010
10:44 pm

#99 whaapplewha :

From her shop announcement: “Phaty Platy uses old toys, erasers, miniatures, and other findings to create wacky pieces of jewelry that yes, you CAN pull off.”

I think she has taken Obama’s “Yes we can” mantra in the wrong direction.

Rate this comment: +6

Feb 25, 2010
12:35 am

#100 vergeofsomething :

ok, where can I get me some plastic (non-pasta’ed) platypusi?

Rate this comment: +4

Feb 25, 2010
1:38 am

#101 snarkeygirl :

*pouts* if only the pasta was whole wheat. I am watching my weight, and cannot have white flour pasta. *sigh*

Rate this comment: +9

Feb 25, 2010
2:28 am

#102 jackie31337 :

To quote Sleep Talkin’ Man,
“I made this picture using pasta… Fuck you, it IS artistic!”

Rate this comment: +5

Feb 25, 2010
4:48 am

#103 Feel Free To Customise and Whimsiclise My Vagina :

JURY ETSY

Rate this comment: +4

Feb 25, 2010
5:23 am

#104 voxwoman :

Raz! I love your PS of the chefboyardee. And your View it on a Plate!

I am in proposal-writing-hell now @ work and don’t get to check in here too much for the past week or so.

Rate this comment: +3

Feb 25, 2010
6:24 am

#105 Charles Dexter Ward :

Actually, I think I’m in love with that necklace. But not for $50.

Rate this comment: -2

Feb 25, 2010
6:44 am

#106 hidden due to low comment rating2 :

Hidden due to low comment rating. Click here to see.

Rate this comment: -13

Feb 25, 2010
7:27 am

#107 bootsychoo :

#80 cratz: Aw, now, you know I was just razzin’ ya (no offense, raz).

#87 FootofCanal: Your username & comment give you away – you’re Canadian, aren’t you?

Rate this comment: +1

Feb 25, 2010
10:22 am

#108 Scarecrow :

The seller ‘pasta’ be joking…..

sorry couldnt resist

Rate this comment: -2

Feb 25, 2010
10:22 am

#109 step away from the jewelry supplies :

This is too good to be occupational therapy- looks more like something from art therapy in the locked ward. No sharp objects necessary!

Rate this comment: +7

Feb 25, 2010
10:53 am

#110 FootofCanal :

RCB: Thank you!
Boo: Yes it is true I cannot tell a lie,I am from Tarahnta Canuhduh.

Rate this comment: +4

Feb 25, 2010
11:23 am

#111 sticksandtunes :

I sincerely hope this seller used cheap drugstore polish…I’d be livid if I found out she was wasting perfectly good O.P.I., Orly, China Glaze, Essie, and other polishes in a similar league to those.

Rate this comment: +1

Feb 25, 2010
11:36 am

#112 MAG :

Time to open my Cub Scout Sweat Shop. “OK boys, start stringing that ziti!”

Rate this comment: +5

Feb 25, 2010
1:17 pm

#113 razberries :

@ clitty’s got claws…GREAT name ♥

Rate this comment: +1

Feb 25, 2010
2:04 pm

#114 jaykay :

Thanks for the stab at my profession!!!! There are always idiots that make the rest of us look bad!

Rate this comment: +1

Feb 25, 2010
4:10 pm

#115 Ivriniel :

I have a friend who is a retired teacher, and she used to do pasta art with her class, until one day she looked up during class and saw a mouse sitting on the bookshelf eating the pasta off a picture.

I don’t think jewelry should be made out of edible objects. Unless they’re candy necklaces that is.

Rate this comment: +7

Feb 25, 2010
4:14 pm

#116 vergeofsomething :

http://www.facebook.com/photo.php?pid=4911959&l=aac4b2aad6&id=562289679

Rate this comment: +3

Feb 25, 2010
9:55 pm

#117 clitty's got claws :

Hehe, thanks Raz! *hug* I got the idea from that one crazy woman that spouted “kitty’s got claws”…the details are all fuzzy for me though…I have such a bad memory, lol.

Rate this comment: +1

Feb 28, 2010
12:48 pm

#118 PussDaddy :

The car one is kinda neat actually.

Rate this comment: +1