people of walmartlamebookregretsy

Wing Flapper

Posted by Helen Killer 125 comments

Filed in Hats 125 comments
125 Comments
Feb 19, 2010
10:00 am
#1 DucksNew :
Oh my God, they killed Hedwig! You bastards!

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Feb 19, 2010
10:01 am
#2 Whisperia :
Aww… I like the mice. I wonder if she would sell them separate?

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Feb 19, 2010
10:01 am
#3 babalu :
The first hat is awesomesauce!

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Feb 19, 2010
10:02 am
#4 razberries :
bwha ha ha- excellent photoshop fuckery, as always!
i was thinking that, too. why the heck would two little mice be perched eating on top of the very predator that kills them and horks them up into puke balls?

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Feb 19, 2010
10:03 am
#5 Efit :
Couple of rats on my head. Yeah, total glam. Thank you, Clara Bow.

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Feb 19, 2010
10:04 am
#6 sudabaki© :
I haven’t had enough coffee to think of anything funny yet but I will say this, this hat is not at all sophisticated or glamorous. It’s kitsch. I’m sure she did labor over it and I’m not saying it’s not worth the money she’s asking but it’s Lady Gaga not Louise Brooks.

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Feb 19, 2010
10:04 am
#7 Efit :
BUT – As ugly as this thing is, girlfriend needs some props on some pretty wicked needle felting. She’s quite good. This hat just isn’t.

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Feb 19, 2010
10:07 am
#8 littykidder :
What a wonderfully adept & creative artist. That being said, my scalp itches . I’ll have to pass on this mini ecosystem .

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Feb 19, 2010
10:07 am
#9 mazumi :
I’m sorry but I’m completely distracted by what appears to be a MASSIVE booger hanging out of her nose.

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Feb 19, 2010
10:08 am
#10 underemployed :
I’m really wondering why I don’t see more news articles involving ass-kickings of hipsters who wear this crap. If I hadn’t seen the photo of the Tribble-hat wearer at an ATM, I would have no clear idea where a person wears a large, fucked-up hat.

As it is all I can see in my mind’s eye is someone with an owl and 2 felt mice on their head, cursing at a cash machine as it demands another card swipe. Followed by an ass-kicking.

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Feb 19, 2010
10:08 am
#11 LeeLooDallas :
“Owl take ridiculous head attire for $300, Alex.”

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Feb 19, 2010
10:09 am
#12 Doedipus :
I wasn’t aware “abstract” meant “headless.”

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Feb 19, 2010
10:10 am
#13 sudabaki© :
Oh never mind, she was born in ‘89, I’m impressed she even knows there were movies in the ’20’s.

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Feb 19, 2010
10:10 am
#14 jodirocks :
chicks got some mad skills, but this hat is ridiculous!! the other hat in her shop is cool minus the bird.

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Feb 19, 2010
10:11 am
#15 waningestrogen :
would someone ’shop this onto Sally Field’s head, please? Sally as The Flying Nun, not Sally as Sybil.

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Feb 19, 2010
10:12 am
#16 buffoon :
Photoshop genius, Helen! Thanks for the belly-laugh.

Stone me, but as silly as this thing is, this woman actually can make a hat, which is a lot more than one can say for most Regretsy crapola.

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Feb 19, 2010
10:12 am
#17 bondgurl :
Abstract is one word for it. Me, I just call it weird as fuck.

Wicked photoshopping btw, I lauged harder at your pictures than I did at the seller’s posting. And that’s saying something!

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Feb 19, 2010
10:12 am
The PS work drives it home. :lol:

I keep staring at the pic, expecting her to hark up an owl pellet any second…

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Feb 19, 2010
10:13 am
#19 waningestrogen :

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Feb 19, 2010
10:15 am
#20 waningestrogen :

jodirocks #13

That other hat, from the back, looks like someone’s Mickey Mouse ears were left out in the rain too long.

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Feb 19, 2010
10:15 am
#21 elliott :
I’m just surprised that all the long while she was making it she didn’t have a single moment of clarity and decided to change course. That’s a seriously psychotic person.

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Feb 19, 2010
10:18 am
#22 sudabaki© :
19 waningestrogen: Can it be worn as a hat? That would be pretty cool. It’s never cold enough to wear a felted wool hat where I live. I’m hot and itchy just thinking about it.

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Feb 19, 2010
10:19 am
#23 waningestrogen :
22 sudabaki: I’m glad you didn’t say hot and sweaty just thinking about it!

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Feb 19, 2010
10:22 am
#24 waningestrogen :
The bunny is really cute.
http://www.etsy.com/view_listing.php?listing_id=38608808

It just needs a pancake on its head.

Have to say this one is talented, but just went off course a few times.

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Feb 19, 2010
10:22 am
#25 Skully :
Well made, but what’s up with the wrinkled tarp in the background? Were these pictures taken in the barn in which the owl and mice lived? Not very glamorous.

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Feb 19, 2010
10:24 am
#26 sudabaki© :
#23 waningestrogen: No, that’s the sackdazzled that makes me hot and sweaty ;)

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Feb 19, 2010
10:26 am
#27 lyontamer :
Wow! I love this hat! I wouldn’t wear it, but as art, it’s awesome!

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Feb 19, 2010
10:26 am
#28 lyontamer :
Eh what the hell. I’ll wear it. :)

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Feb 19, 2010
10:27 am
#29 I am Bitter :
here’s a more scientifically accurate piece:

http://www.twitpic.com/145jz7

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Feb 19, 2010
10:28 am
#30 Stretch65 :
OH! That thing is a “HOOOOOOOOT”

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Feb 19, 2010
10:29 am
#31 waningestrogen :
uh oh. moving into the weird here. dreaming of donkeys.

http://www.etsy.com/view_listing.php?listing_id=39109953

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Feb 19, 2010
10:30 am
The photo-shopped images are OUTSTANDING.

That said, I want the mice. I want to wear the mice. I would wear them as a brooch.
I would wear them here, I would wear them there…I would wear them anywhere.

The hat, she can keep.

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Feb 19, 2010
10:31 am
the donkey and the lady? maybe she’s from mexico
yes mad skills but totally not of this planet

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Feb 19, 2010
10:33 am

And I am totally making that squid in to a scarf pin…oh yeah…

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Feb 19, 2010
10:33 am
#35 littykidder :
Many items in her shop show such subtlety and a light hand, but this is so over the top I wonder why she did’nt go all the way and include the barn and a pussycat just for good measure.

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Feb 19, 2010
10:37 am
#36 Moons in Leo :
#9 – I believe that’s a piercing not a booger.

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Feb 19, 2010
10:37 am
#37 lyontamer :

#31 It’s Al Green!

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Feb 19, 2010
10:38 am
#38 Moons in Leo :
Owl = wise

Not in this case.

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Feb 19, 2010
10:39 am
Nope, I’m gonna stand tall for this seller…just saw some of her ‘favorites’.

Gooba gabba, baby. It all makes sense to me now.

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Feb 19, 2010
10:43 am
#40 voxwoman :
I would totally wear this. But I’m weird like that. In fact, I am wearing one of these in white when I venture out into the cold now:
http://www.speedygoods.com/category/hats.earflap_beanies.mohawks/

In white with a Greek keylock pattern band. But I only paid 12 bucks for it at the “Native Spirit” store at the mall.

Love the photoshop phuckery, Helen.

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Feb 19, 2010
10:46 am
#41 starrydreams :
Photoshop #1 is great!!!

I think the mice are cute!! But the rest of the hat…yikes!!!

I agree with #7 Efit- this seller can knit!!!

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Feb 19, 2010
10:47 am
Feb 19, 2010
10:48 am
#43 Wilma Fingerdoo :
Though I’ve never been “inspired by barn owls”, I can only guess that the mice are 2 run aways from the 3 blind mice.
Otherwise, why would they be nibbling seed off of their predator’s head?
It’s like a twisted, fucked up Tom and Jerry.

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Feb 19, 2010
10:49 am
#44 lyontamer :
#40 Those are some wicked hats! I want one.

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Feb 19, 2010
10:52 am
#45 littykidder :
Nothing says spring like a dense wool tableau on your head.

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Feb 19, 2010
10:52 am
#46 Wilma Fingerdoo :
I think I’ve see this lady in Central Park.

She’s wearing this hat, feeding bird seed to all, and surrounded by pigeons.

And bird crap.

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Feb 19, 2010
10:53 am
#47 lyontamer :
#43 It’s just a great art piece all around. It’s functional, it’s well crafted, and it’s even got some artsy-fartsy irony. I honestly can’t think of anything snarky to say about this one! Well, except that artsy-fartsy bit.

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Feb 19, 2010
10:53 am
#48 Dix :
If one of these actually shows up on the red carpet, then we’ll know that Lady Gaga also reads Regretsy.

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Feb 19, 2010
10:54 am
#49 jinxybee :
Looks like the mice made some doodies on the hat too.

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Feb 19, 2010
10:57 am
#50 lyontamer :
Another artsy-fart that I like is that the owl is abstract, but the mice are not. Like the owl is still an unseen shape, sneaking up on them.

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Feb 19, 2010
10:58 am
#51 Wilma Fingerdoo :
lyontamer- i agree that it’s well crafted and the mice are well done. But functional? Seriously?

Did you see the views of the hat from behind? I can see screaming children running away from the crazy owl/mouse hat lady.
Straight jackets are functional too.

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Feb 19, 2010
10:58 am
#52 jinxybee :

Ancient Egyption eyes and Geisha girl lips……

Wait, NOW I get it.

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Feb 19, 2010
11:00 am
I know it says “inspired by”, but it looks like someone left the owl out in the rain and it melted.

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Feb 19, 2010
11:02 am
#54 SloGin :
#31 what the hell is that about?
#40 I LOVE those hats!! I’m ordering one today.

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Feb 19, 2010
11:02 am
#55 sudabaki© :
#51 Wilma Fingerdoo: But functional? Seriously?

Well it would keep you head warm, or in my case, hot and itchy.

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Feb 19, 2010
11:06 am
#56 I am Bitter :

I’m not seeing the photoshopped ones everyone is talking about—PANIC!!!! I need to reboot

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Feb 19, 2010
11:08 am
“#46
…and surrounded by pigeons.And bird crap.”

Visualize that in a hat…a cloche with one felted pigeon and droppings…maybe a shred of fabric bread.
I can only hope.

Actually, I’d like something subdued, with a chipmunk…or a Titmouse. But I would have to watch myself as I left through the back door. See, I live beside a wooded state park and have a hawk regularly swooping down to collect fleshy morsels. How much would THAT suck‽

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Feb 19, 2010
11:08 am
#58 joan of snark :
It pains me to admit this, but, apart from the “circle of life” motif, I quite like the hat. With a double mousectomy, I might even wear it.

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Feb 19, 2010
11:09 am
#59 sudabaki© :
#53 Patty:

someone left the owl out in the rain
I don’t think that I can take it
’cause it took so long to stake it
and I’ll never have that felted wool again
Oh, nooo!

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Feb 19, 2010
11:11 am
#60 lyontamer :
#51 Yes, functional. I would so wear this on my next shopping trip to Walmart. ;)

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Feb 19, 2010
11:13 am

(I need to ask an OT question since I can’t find any command-FAQ-nothin’…how do we change avatar images?)

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Feb 19, 2010
11:14 am
Should we hold an art critique? :? Her watercolors are OK, but that style should appear effortless and fluid, not the “oops….now fixed!” school of watercolor. Compare to the real thing from China and Japan.

Admittedly, I’m a poor judge of women’s fashion, but I suspect that hat would earn you a private compartment on the train…or clear the sidewalk in the city. If batshit crazy could be worn, that is the look.

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Feb 19, 2010
11:15 am
#63 Wilma Fingerdoo :
sudabaki-
Your head would be hot and itchy before you put this Hootanny hat on from all the meds you are taking.

LOVE the Donna Summers…..

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Feb 19, 2010
11:15 am
#64 sudabaki© :
#61: http://en.gravatar.com/ to upload an avatar.

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Feb 19, 2010
11:16 am
#65 butterwort :
It’s like “Persistence of Memory”, but with an owl instead of a pocket watch.

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Feb 19, 2010
11:23 am
#66 nitebyrd :
I’m sure in some parallel universe this might be considered chic and glamorous but you’d get your ass kicked if you wore it in Brooklyn.

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Feb 19, 2010
11:24 am
#67 hat-rack :
I am in heaven.

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Feb 19, 2010
11:26 am
Hickory dickory dock, the mouse ran up the clock… wait, what??

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Feb 19, 2010
11:27 am
Owls and strange scenes in the night—it’s been done before. :)
Here are a couple examples. I wish “art” today wasn’t so lightweight.
http://farm5.static.flickr.com/4012/4371128248_7e411e4bda_o.jpg
“El sueño de la razón produce monstruos” (sleep of reason produces monsters by Francisco Goya)
http://farm3.static.flickr.com/2705/4370412251_fb8dceee4b_o.jpg
“Nightmare” by Henri Fuseli

Art—or Regretsy material? :?
apologies for being edumacational :lol:

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Feb 19, 2010
11:27 am
#70 Wilma Fingerdoo :
#57-much_regretsy-

Wearing this hat where I live would make me feel like Tippi Hedren. (We have turkey vulture nests in the trees behind our house.)

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Feb 19, 2010
11:28 am

Many thanks, 64!

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Feb 19, 2010
11:36 am
#72 kirstenrana :
She’s got a large rainbow trout on her head.

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Feb 19, 2010
11:39 am
#73 Chrisnyc1213 :
The only people who wore hats like this in the 20s were locked in insane asylums.

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Feb 19, 2010
11:44 am
#74 SuperSnark :
“This is a one of a kind hat!” Thank God For That!
Now I have something to wear along with my dead cat’s ashes on my neck!

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Feb 19, 2010
11:48 am
#75 geektastic :
wow…uh…wow

I showed this to my SO and he said, “Well, it’s good to see that crack consumption hasn’t gone down in this economy”.

Based on real art or not, that donkey thing looks like some fucked up version of “The Entity”.

And the squid does rock. But then, I voted FSM?Cthulhu in ‘08. “Horror, Integrity, Tentacles”.

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Feb 19, 2010
11:49 am
#76 geektastic :
That’s FSM/Cthulhu.

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Feb 19, 2010
11:50 am
#77 MondoTrasho :
All I can imagine is her wearing this hat while picnicking in the forest delicately unwrapping lady fingers and home made lemonade…

Then owls viciously maul her head and puke felt rats up everywhere.

The glamor of it all.

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Feb 19, 2010
11:57 am
#78 geektastic :
Actually, it would make a great cat toy, if there are bells in the mice. A very expensive cat toy.

Cat Rule #687: Anything not nailed down is a cat toy.

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Feb 19, 2010
12:11 pm
Here’s my PS entry:

What would you caption that–any zingers out there?

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Feb 19, 2010
12:15 pm
#80 ksi :
the photoshop is AMAZING.
anyhow, the seller seems to be talented. maybe she wants to be misunderstood by her generation, as well as many others.

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Feb 19, 2010
12:16 pm
#81 Helen Killer :
If you make your images small enough to fit the comment box, I can make them show up for you!

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Feb 19, 2010
12:17 pm
Sorry ’bout that–this version will work:
http://farm3.static.flickr.com/2698/4370530403_0eafcb4af4_o.jpg

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Feb 19, 2010
12:17 pm
#83 mergatroid :
I found myself really diggin’ this hat, and then looked at her profile, and realized I went to the same miniscule, holistic horseshit school, Naropa University. Don’t get me wrong, I love (LOVE) my Alma Mater, but let me put it this way: I took a damn flower arranging class as part of the curriculum. We’re goddam freak hippies who needle felt owl hats.

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Feb 19, 2010
12:22 pm
HK: <3

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Feb 19, 2010
12:25 pm
#85 Skully :
@ISUS: Congrats, you rock!

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Feb 19, 2010
12:25 pm
#86 grodelated :
here’s my photoshop contribution:
http://i645.photobucket.com/albums/uu173/gr0del8ed/squirrelhat.jpg

if someone’s already thought of using the ‘morning muricide’ pic, sorry for copying your idea but i haven’t read through all the comments yet.

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Feb 19, 2010
12:28 pm
#87 I am Bitter :
#79 oh my god- I can now die at peace knowing I have seen that picture!

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Feb 19, 2010
12:30 pm
#88 Helen Killer :
@ #85 Every time someone uses that image I am filled with joy. That artist wrote to Random House to demand that they stop publication of my book.

I’m always so entertained by artists who see no irony or danger in shutting down other artists.

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Feb 19, 2010
12:40 pm
#89 laughinglurker :
iscream…totally brilliant. I tip my felted owl hat to you!

for what it’s worth, I think it’s a big ol’boogar.

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Feb 19, 2010
12:44 pm
@grodelated :lol:

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Feb 19, 2010
12:48 pm
#91 razberries :
yay! iscreamuscream!! :lol:

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Feb 19, 2010
12:55 pm
#92 razberries :

iscream, who are those people? is it davy crocket and some willie nelson impostor?

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Feb 19, 2010
12:55 pm
#93 greenfuzz :
I think it’s absurd in a great way, it’s beautifully made, and the sculptural element of it is well composed. Yes it’s not for everyone but it’s quirky and beautiful, which what I thought Etsy was supposed to have. It’s silly true, very mockable, but also a lot of fun, someone kinda loopy could have a good time wearing this hat.

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Feb 19, 2010
12:58 pm
Raz, <3
On a hunch, I Googled "Daniel Boone" :)
http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0057742/

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Feb 19, 2010
1:10 pm
Feb 19, 2010
1:15 pm
#96 starrydreams :
#94- too funny. #79 too funny. I can’t remember if that is Daniel Boone or Davy Crockett…

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Feb 19, 2010
1:16 pm
#97 starrydreams :

Oh duh. I see it is Daniel Boone.

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Feb 19, 2010
1:24 pm
#98 Ladybug :
Is that a spotted owl hat? What’s next, a bald eagle? Oh wait…somebody already did that…

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Feb 19, 2010
1:25 pm
#99 sudabaki© :
All that fuckery made me need a nap. I’m glad I didn’t miss too much.

#71 much_regretsy: Any time. Did it work?

Congrats IScream!

#85 grodelated: That was lovely.

#94 geektastic: Awesome, and the Barbie rosary chain was a nice touch.

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Feb 19, 2010
1:26 pm
#100 geektastic :
As Mr. Harley the ferret is feeling better today, we canceled his afternoon vet appointment and thus, I am able to fuck around with The Gimp all afternoon.
Uh-oh, the cats got the hat:
http://i761.photobucket.com/albums/xx256/geektastic_whimsy/Regretsy%20NSFW/kitties_owl_hat.jpg

PS-What’s the maximum width to fit on the forum? I know I saw it somewhere, but can’t remember.

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Feb 19, 2010
1:28 pm
#101 sudabaki© :
560 pixels

http://www.regretsy.com/2010/01/26/skants-contest/

Glad to hear that Mr. Harley is feeling better.

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Feb 19, 2010
1:42 pm
@geektastic :lol: that pretty much underscores how inane Sally Field looks in that role.

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Feb 19, 2010
1:45 pm
#103 geektastic :

#100 sudbaki-thank you on both accounts

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Feb 19, 2010
2:23 pm
#104 much_regretsy :

@99, yes. There I am, the one-eyed glory. So when I say I like creepy things, people will believe me. ;)

For the Daniel Boone/Davey Crocket re-assemblage, doesn’t that little old guy look like a Robin Williams character?

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Feb 19, 2010
2:23 pm
#105 HelenaHandbasket :

I should like to suggest to the model or seller one of two options: Proactiv or a styrofoam wig stand.

Hat will still be hideous, however.

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Feb 19, 2010
2:30 pm
#106 Monstrosa :
I love this hat. And bonus points to the seller for using the term “abstracted” correctly.

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Feb 19, 2010
2:35 pm
#107 rarespec :
I was having the crappiest day today–I’m a conservation biologist and this listing and the AMAZING photos made me laugh till I peed a little. Thank you Regretsy Evil Geniuses…I’m off to make a hat!

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Feb 19, 2010
2:48 pm
#108 waningestrogen :

#95 geektastic:

Thank you, for the Flying Nun!!!!!!!!
<3

Bonus points for clever use of cats in #100!

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Feb 19, 2010
2:57 pm
#109 littykidder :

Geektastic, Fabulous kitty fuckery ! Meoza.

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Feb 19, 2010
3:08 pm
#110 raven :
Retardsy worthy!

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Feb 19, 2010
3:10 pm
#111 whaapplewha :
#25 skully…. I was wondering the same thing, but the conclusion that I came to was that she was growing her own “medicinal” marijuana. Or it’s covering her windows to keep the aliens out.

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Feb 19, 2010
3:26 pm
#112 whyohwhy :
I’d really like to see how my ferrets would react to this. It looks like something silly they would totally want to play in. Plus it has accessory toy mice.

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Feb 19, 2010
3:27 pm
#113 mainemah :
In the 50’s owl pellet earrings typified glamor…

http://www.flickr.com/photos/46966395@N02/4370901661/

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Feb 19, 2010
3:33 pm
#114 littykidder :

What every ingenue needs, #113mainemah, bird turd hanging from her lobes.

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Feb 19, 2010
3:58 pm

@mainemah
Despite my crush for Audrey, I still like that.
Your Octomom gumbaby PS is awesome! :lol:

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Feb 19, 2010
5:56 pm
#116 littykidder :
#100Geektastic Thanks!Looks like a scene in my living room. Good to hear Mr. Harley is up & ferreting .

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Feb 19, 2010
6:14 pm
#117 js :

I think it’s sorta cute… and it looks well-made. A lot better than those awful gutted-stuffed-toy hats we had a few days ago, modelled by the pink-wigged people.

The vintage 20’s film star photos are TOTALLY BRILLIANT!

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Feb 19, 2010
6:17 pm
#118 js :
I just looked at the rest of her shop — I think she has a lot of talent and creativity.

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Feb 19, 2010
6:40 pm
#119 WTFisthatanyway :
“All right, Mr. Audubon, I’m ready for my close-up”

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Feb 19, 2010
6:56 pm
#120 geektastic :
#119 that made me snort

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Feb 20, 2010
1:45 am
#121 Ravyncrow :
“58 joan of snark :
It pains me to admit this, but, apart from the “circle of life” motif, I quite like the hat. With a double mousectomy, I might even wear it.”

I agree but I LIKE the mice … however your “double mousectomy” comment had me laughing so hard I think I lost my spleen.

Geek … so glad your fuzzrat is feeling better!

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Feb 21, 2010
5:15 pm
#122 StinkBait :

Hidden due to low comment rating. Click here to see.

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Feb 24, 2010
11:08 am
#123 Cori Scores :

I still think Lady Gaga would have no problem wearing this.

http://www.facebook.com/photo.php?pid=30505255&o=all&op=1&view=all&subj=285066400359&aid=-1&id=1414590214

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Mar 3, 2010
2:05 pm
#124 wasted days :

I like the photoshopped 20’s pics, especially the one with the mouse hindquarters hanging out. And #113 those turd earrings are stunning.

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May 19, 2010
5:15 pm
#125 magzasaurusrex :

hahahaha omfg. i went to highschool with her!

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