Bored in the USA
I just discovered Bruce Springsteen! Have you heard of this guy? I guess he’s from some place called “New Jersey”? I think it’s near Europe, which I also just found out about.
Anyway, I thought I’d write down all of his songs and charge you $20 for it. I was asking for sea shells, but that was before I looked up “money” on Wikipedia.
February 18, 2010 at 2:25 pm
Interesting idea, presentation is a little bland, could use a decortive boarder, maybe some falage native to New Jersey.
February 18, 2010 at 4:32 pm
this guy “discovered” springsteen the same way my mom tells everyone that my brother “discovered” craigslist.
February 18, 2010 at 4:39 pm
If it’s a complete list of song titles and albums then why is it headed “SOME of Bruce Springsteen’s Albums”?
BTW, nice font. *snicker*
February 18, 2010 at 4:39 pm
I just checked out this guys shop.
I am pretty sure he just came out of a coma.
February 18, 2010 at 4:40 pm
Materials: “original concept”
maybe she’ll discover the complete discography and this could become part 1 of a triptych.
February 18, 2010 at 4:41 pm
Well hey, at least it’s more functional than the West Side Story painting.
February 18, 2010 at 4:42 pm
maybe i can make one of Vagra’s songs and charge $20 for it… http://www.regretsy.com/2009/12/11/river-of-love/
February 18, 2010 at 4:43 pm
Should we tell her about the Beatles?
February 18, 2010 at 4:46 pm
She should get together with that other lady that just discovered the Beatles.
“Honey I just wonder what it feels like in the back seat / Of your dusty rose Cadillac”
February 18, 2010 at 4:47 pm
I’m no expert, but wouldn’t most anything in this section be copyright infringement or something? http://www.etsy.com/shop/MarieTHarrisStudio?section_id=6003807
Also, you left out the part of the description where it says “Shippig will be done professionally”.
1. As opposed to the amateur USPS or UPS?
2. Apparently typing WON’T be done professionally.
February 18, 2010 at 4:48 pm
Tell her that Bruce and Springsteen are two different people. And they split up.
February 18, 2010 at 4:48 pm
“Shippig will be done professionally.”
What’s a shippig?
February 18, 2010 at 4:49 pm
http://tinyurl.com/yz4m4b9, $20 please.
February 18, 2010 at 4:49 pm
#10- You beat me to it!!
February 18, 2010 at 4:50 pm
I have a suspicious feeling that this seller won’t like being featured here on Regretsy.
http://www.etsy.com/view_listing.php?listing_id=36308790
February 18, 2010 at 4:50 pm
Shippig: shipping via pig. Apparently *professional* pig shippers, too.
February 18, 2010 at 4:51 pm
Damn, I <3 you IScream.
February 18, 2010 at 4:51 pm
# 15 sudabaki- and Helen- that needs to be on a t-shirt!!!
February 18, 2010 at 4:52 pm
#13 iscreamuscream: I love it! I would love to know how you guys do that.
February 18, 2010 at 4:53 pm
@Suda forget my spirit, that sign hurts my eyes.
February 18, 2010 at 4:53 pm
I bought something that looked a lot like this from a 9 year old boy in Thailand for $2 and it even came with an CD called The Best of Bruce Splingsteen and Celine Dion.
February 18, 2010 at 4:54 pm
Wow, that person must have been in a car accident or something. Halfway through page four in her shop things just go all kinds of wrong.
February 18, 2010 at 4:54 pm
She also has a fairy section, featuring this ice skater (unfortunately not naked) http://www.etsy.com/view_listing.php?listing_id=27009838
Can a painting still be original if it’s based off of someone else’s photograph? Not that this seller grasps the meaning of the word. http://www.etsy.com/view_listing.php?listing_id=32670415
February 18, 2010 at 5:00 pm
WOW! He can put it in a FRAME, too! But that’ll cost you SIXTY FUCKING DOLLARS.
http://www.etsy.com/view_listing.php?ref=vl_other_2&listing_id=35082241
“Since this must be fit to size and assembled, please allow two or three days before shipping.”
February 18, 2010 at 5:04 pm
#19 willandwont – you just go to lmgtfy.com (let me google that for you)
February 18, 2010 at 5:07 pm
Wow, I would at least like to be able to read the font if I’m going to pay $20 for a printout of “some of” Bruce Springsteen’s songs.
Totally bizarre shop, it starts out with paintings and drawings that aren’t bad (though most are based on other paintings and drawings, toeing the line of forgery, but whatever). Then she gets into stuff like this, where presumably the background design is her work, but then does a half-assed job of turning it into something…..
February 18, 2010 at 5:08 pm
Someone needs to tell her that her cryogenic freezer malfunctioned.
February 18, 2010 at 5:08 pm
Dunno, just seems like something I’ve seen in the 99 cents store.
February 18, 2010 at 5:09 pm
…Then we have the Word document printouts of really awful pseudo-inspirational sayings. Wow.
February 18, 2010 at 5:09 pm
@#13 ISUS: Well done!
February 18, 2010 at 5:10 pm
Thanks #25 angie! Oh the things you can find on the internet!
February 18, 2010 at 5:11 pm
OMG-do you know how INCREDIBLY handy this will be to hang on the wall, so that I can go to refer to it, when I want to know which tracks are on the CD that I’m holding in my friggin’ hand?
Also, since it’s apparently printed on a tissue with non-waterproof pastel inks that she promptly cried over, it’ll be SUPER LEGIBLE, too!
February 18, 2010 at 5:13 pm
Isn’t this what Wikipedia is for?
Also, wouldn’t an avid fan know the discography anyways, and not need a reference poster?
February 18, 2010 at 5:16 pm
@ #32 That cracked me right the fuck up.
February 18, 2010 at 5:20 pm
how odd- like fluffysue said, some of the paintings ain’t half bad…
then there’s this fugly thing
http://www.etsy.com/view_listing.php?listing_id=35412190
it’s clip art, or very bad font stuff. looks like shit that would be in a powerpoint presentation from over 10 years ago…
February 18, 2010 at 5:22 pm
and this doozy…remember the golden rule, masturbation comes first, then love comes after that
http://www.etsy.com/view_listing.php?ref=vl_other_1&listing_id=35413464
February 18, 2010 at 5:25 pm
http://www.etsy.com/view_listing.php?listing_id=35275275
and so i shall.
February 18, 2010 at 5:32 pm
Dear Ms. Harris: I really like your listing
http://www.etsy.com/view_listing.php?listing_id=35409375
But can you change, “Happiness can be found if…you look for it” with “Happiness can be found if…you stop calling coma-inducing sayings in all caps in a crap typeface ‘graphic design’”? Kay, thanks. Oh, I have no money to pay you, but I have a pencil sketch of a naked iceskater torn into 1 mm squares I’d like to exchange for your commissioned work.
February 18, 2010 at 5:35 pm
For all of the Bruce Springsteen’s song titles, $25.
For all of the Beatle’s song title, $30.
For all of Color Me Badd’s songs titles, $20.
For Color Me Badd to play their songs live. $5 and whatever you have in your refrigerator.
February 18, 2010 at 5:37 pm
I took this one
http://www.etsy.com/view_listing.php?ref=vl_other_1&listing_id=35335624
and made it a little better: http://tinyurl.com/yc57amc
Just in case you were wondering who each Bruce Springsteen album was by she wrote “by Bruce Springsteen” under each album name.
February 18, 2010 at 5:42 pm
http://www.etsy.com/view_listing.php?ref=vl_other_1&listing_id=35335624
I’m sorry too.
February 18, 2010 at 5:46 pm
#13 IscreamUscream- I think I love you even though we have never met- here is a little about me.
I was born in the USA. I love to go dancing in the dark, if not I get blinded by the light. Glory Days for me are cruisin in the pink Cadillac down the street’s of Philadelphia.Then I like to visit some fucko who does holistic horseshit until I fear that I’m on fire.
Lastly, I have a secret garden and if the cop’s come, away I go, cause baby I was born to run.
February 18, 2010 at 5:53 pm
I am now convinced that Etsy has an Addams Family Street Team and that all of these featured sellers are charter members.
February 18, 2010 at 5:54 pm
I am totally convinced that there are “artists” that really do believe that there are people out there that will buy anything! Dang, I need to make that statement into a wall hanging. . .
February 18, 2010 at 5:56 pm
@#12 and 16 Shippig = United Porcine Service.
February 18, 2010 at 6:02 pm
What I want to know is: If this dude just discovered Bruce Springsteen, how is it that he has several “original” photographs listed in his shop???
February 18, 2010 at 6:05 pm
RCB nice medley–and free of charge too.
http://farm5.static.flickr.com/4027/4368729353_ea028cc98e.jpg
February 18, 2010 at 6:05 pm
The albums on the poster are numbered 1, 2, 5, 3, 4.
February 18, 2010 at 6:10 pm
Bruce WHO?!… Oh, *that guy*. Wasn’t he the boss of something or other… the mafia maybe?
February 18, 2010 at 6:20 pm
“Shippig will be done professionally.”
Good to know. If anyone’s going to do my ship pig, I want it done professionally.
February 18, 2010 at 6:25 pm
Looking closely at the shop, I think the talented artwork stems from the seller today, and the remaining crap is leftover from after school projects from 20 years ago.
February 18, 2010 at 6:32 pm
This “decorative item” reads like a scam eye chart at Ripyaoff Vision Associates.
February 18, 2010 at 6:50 pm
We could totally blow this seller’s mind and introduce them to Rick Springfield and Dusty Springfield.
No, I swear, they’re brother and sister! *snerk*
February 18, 2010 at 6:55 pm
Damn, I love that “Derp” tag.
February 18, 2010 at 6:59 pm
Wow, take a nap and look what I miss.
#13 ISUS Screen capture fuckery FTW!
February 18, 2010 at 7:03 pm
I’m pretty sure this is just the Springsteen page in the karaoke notebook down at the local Snookers pool hall.
February 18, 2010 at 7:07 pm
#39 & #38 lmao! im at work getting odd looks now. lol. maybe for that price the shippig means you get a professional pig with your order.
February 18, 2010 at 7:35 pm
#15 suda – I think this guy/gal/whatever missed the marketing opportunity – that saying needs to be printed on a sheet of 10 you-print-em business cards, and handed out to snarkers like us on an as-needed basis.
I dated the guy who “discovered” Bruce Springsteen. Boy was he creepy. And old. And this was about 20 years ago.
February 18, 2010 at 7:36 pm
no, no its misspelled…..you get a shi pig. its like a ninja pig. the pork chops eat you, and all that.
February 18, 2010 at 7:40 pm
http://www.etsy.com/view_listing.php?listing_id=35978986
Also in the store are various prints of Micelangelo drawings.
Convo her for prints of drawings of Hamsterlangelo, Guineapiglangelo, Ratlangelo and Ferretlangelo.
February 18, 2010 at 7:52 pm
Having just discovered Bruce?
She needs to spend less time on “handy guides”
February 18, 2010 at 8:03 pm
Holy crap! Now I know how to show my friends what it is like to have astigmatism!
February 18, 2010 at 8:10 pm
I wonder if she reads any of her advice signs to herself…
http://www.etsy.com/view_listing.php?listing_id=35405529
February 18, 2010 at 8:13 pm
http://www.etsy.com/view_listing.php?ref=vl_other_1&listing_id=24182999
Gotta love the framing suggestion here. Totally appropriate – would look good with a shite mat.
February 18, 2010 at 8:19 pm
@innercitykitty Yeah– $10 is a bargain compared to a “Micelangelo” [sic] original.
Then again, anybody who took intro drawing has their originals on hand…
February 18, 2010 at 8:44 pm
I’m going to fold it up real small and tape it to my iPod.
February 18, 2010 at 9:24 pm
You know, at least she spells it Springsteen. My boyfriend was convinced that it was “Springstein” until I forcibly removed that misconception from his adorably thick head. And he’s 35 goddamn years old. Actually, he probably still doubts me (and Google/Wikipedia/album covers/Bruce Springsteen himself).
February 18, 2010 at 9:27 pm
@ #35 I am pretty sure I got something like that to keep at the front of my binder when I was in middle school. I used the paper for note passing.
February 18, 2010 at 9:56 pm
Been comatose for a while,
Never even heard of this Bruce Springsteen guy.
One day I heard his song about Vietnam,
And I wanted to know which CD it’s on.
Born in the USA is on Born in the USA.
The song Born in the USA is on Born in the USA…
February 18, 2010 at 10:00 pm
I’m sold on the $5 professional shipping.
February 18, 2010 at 10:03 pm
Maybe the seller should discover what “copyright infringement” means.
February 18, 2010 at 11:07 pm
Hey #60 innercitykitty, weren’t they all friends of the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles?
February 18, 2010 at 11:28 pm
“I was asking for sea shells, but that was before I looked up “money” on Wikipedia.”
Oh Helen. Best description ever. I almost snorted my Old Fashioned out my nose.
Time to pour another…
February 19, 2010 at 1:00 am
It’s good to know that the, “Shippig will be done professionally.”…..
February 19, 2010 at 3:16 am
The only thing I could think of with this…is the Bale Out Remix lol
“No fuck no!
(It’s $20)
What don’t you fucking understand!?!?!
(I just discovered Bruce Springsteen!)
Shippig is fucking done professionally”
February 19, 2010 at 5:06 am
http://www.etsy.com/view_listing.php?ref=vl_other_1&listing_id=35413464
(Loving yourself leads to Loving others)
If you love yourself too much, you cant love yourself in front of anyone else
…………………….
February 19, 2010 at 6:26 am
Again……..something you can find on the internet for FREE!
February 19, 2010 at 6:30 am
A professionally-done shippig:
February 19, 2010 at 7:02 am
#79 thanks for making me snort coffee thru my nose!
have you all noticed the more these “artists” brag about awards and degrees, the worse they are? just sayin
February 19, 2010 at 7:07 am
The ‘Saying I’m sorry’ sign is my fucking favorite…..actually all the signs are my favorite.
But maybe the ‘Don’t open this refrigerator’ is my favorite of the favorites.
If you ever end up in rehab for something or other, these are all the signs you’ll see plastered on the walls of the communal rec-room.
February 19, 2010 at 7:10 am
OT – I need Regretsy fabric scraps! Spoonflower is way too expensive for the small amount I need. Anyone? Here’s a forum I started. Let’s see if the crazies come out to play since the word “Regretsy” is in the title:
http://www.etsy.com/forums_thread.php?thread_id=6442267
February 19, 2010 at 7:11 am
i think i need the “don’t judge” one for my wall
February 19, 2010 at 7:24 am
@#39 Holytape: I wanna sexx you up.
February 19, 2010 at 7:25 am
love the “quit… while you’re ahead!” poster. someone should buy that and send it back to her.
also, can you imagine trying to read that much text on a 5×7? might as well just hang the track list from the actual cds on the wall!
February 19, 2010 at 8:05 am
OMG NO WAY I’M ON HOLD ON THE PHONE AT WORK AND “I WANNA SEXX YOU UP” IS ON. NO FREKIN’ WAY I CAN’T HELP BUT WRITE IN ALL CAPS!!
(for those of you utterly confused, I commented about an hour ago to #39′s Color Me Badd comment and now I hear them on the radio!!!)
February 19, 2010 at 8:29 am
I’m ordering a dozen of the “don’t open this refrigerator” signs to pass out at my Weight Watchers meeting. They’re going to have to pay for their own lamination or protective plastic sleeves though – I mean jeez, I’m not rich!
February 19, 2010 at 8:46 am
ummm….I see the seller is from Bryn Mawr – isn’t this in the U.S.? Does the seller not go out? Never been to a shopping mall? grocery store? elevator? How can she have never heard of Bruce Springsteen? holy shit.
February 19, 2010 at 8:49 am
I just discovered this great artist Simon N Garfunkle. HEAR! Listen to one of his songs its called “The Sound of Silence” :
February 19, 2010 at 8:55 am
@#88 babalu – Yeah no shit! Bryn Mawr is in PA, which is a neighboring state of NJ no less. Plus, the woman is a retired teacher, so she’s not like 12 or something.
February 19, 2010 at 9:14 am
I’m a little late to the party….
http://www.twitpic.com/1456qf
February 19, 2010 at 12:15 pm
I found myself really diggin’ this hat, and then looked at her profile, and realized I went to the same miniscule, holistic horseshit school, Naropa University. Don’t get me wrong, I love (LOVE) my Alma Mater, but let me put it this way: I took a damn flower arranging class as part of the curriculum. We’re goddam freak hippies who needle felt owl hats.
February 19, 2010 at 12:17 pm
Crap, wrong post.
February 19, 2010 at 5:00 pm
“For many years I was a teacher of improving study skills to students returning to college. It is very true that success will result if one studies hard the knowedge in any field that he or she pursues. It is so true of students of all ages that studying brings success. This sign is great as a reminder for everyone who wants to be successful to study hard in every learning situation.”
http://www.etsy.com/view_listing.php?listing_id=35412190
WHAT THE FUCK
February 19, 2010 at 5:00 pm
This makes up for it though: http://www.etsy.com/view_listing.php?listing_id=36214214
February 20, 2010 at 1:32 am
OK I didn’t read all the comments after I saw a few of these signs … $10 for a piece of card stock (which you can get for $10-14 a ream in some places) with a standard Windows font, put together with WordArt and then printed? $10? Really? This may be “hand made” but it’s sure not crafty or art.
I could be wrong though …
naaahhhh
February 20, 2010 at 8:46 am
@Srsly love shippig!
February 20, 2010 at 1:22 pm
Her “Graphic Design” prints make me wonder if perhaps she was a kindergarden teacher that got fired. ….selling these posters is her way of poo-pooing in the school board’s face