85

Oy Vey, Maria

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85 comments on Oy Vey, Maria

  1. pentoon
    February 15, 2010 at 1:33 pm

    Aw, I was hoping for Joseph and His Amazing Technicolour Dreamcoat!

    But really – the painting looks more Psycho than West Side Story.

    Thumb up Thumb down +78

  2. Efit
    February 15, 2010 at 1:34 pm

    When you make junk you make junk all the way from your first cigarette to your last dyin’ day.

    Yea?

    Thumb up Thumb down +162

  3. buffoon
    February 15, 2010 at 1:34 pm

    It’s not very good is it.

    Thumb up Thumb down +48

  4. sudabaki©
    February 15, 2010 at 1:35 pm

    Handmade Acrylic Painting (Shit)

    I made this painting while taking a dump, hence the name.

    Thumb up Thumb down +85

  5. pleasedontpickme
    February 15, 2010 at 1:37 pm

    oh I know what this is…it’s a piece from the set, from the dumpster.

    Thumb up Thumb down +12

  6. buffoon
    February 15, 2010 at 1:39 pm

    Apparently they were watching “A West Side Story”, which is probably different to West Side Story, so maybe this painting would make sense/be good in the context??? Uh, no.

    Thumb up Thumb down +24

  7. razberries
    February 15, 2010 at 1:44 pm

    poor natalie wood is probably rolling in her grave!

    Thumb up Thumb down +8

  8. takilasunrise
    February 15, 2010 at 1:46 pm

    I think it’s upside down…………..no wait, sideways…….no wait…….sorry, I can’t figure it out. Actually, I think it’s one of those elephant paintings!

    Thumb up Thumb down +28

  9. Patty has been abuducted by an alien
    February 15, 2010 at 1:46 pm

    I blew my nose while watching “Men In Black”, edited for television. (MIB- hence the name). I’ll be selling the tissue soon.

    Thumb up Thumb down +55

  10. takilasunrise
    February 15, 2010 at 1:48 pm

    Hidden due to low comment rating. Click here to see.

    Thumb up Thumb down -53

  11. MAG
    February 15, 2010 at 1:48 pm

    Damn…I got this all over the garage….

    I’ll call it…wipeing off my paint brushes…and sell it for thousands of dollars!

    Thumb up Thumb down +28

  12. starrydreams
    February 15, 2010 at 1:54 pm

    I like the big paint gobs running down. You must have to work real hard to get that just right…..

    Thumb up Thumb down +20

  13. verysage
    February 15, 2010 at 1:54 pm

    Alternate title considered for this work:

    Handmade painting (Menstrual Story)

    Thumb up Thumb down +57

  14. IscreamUscream
    February 15, 2010 at 1:55 pm

    Thumb up Thumb down +60

  15. Mrs.Vagoo
    February 15, 2010 at 1:57 pm

    @#14 Nice!

    Thumb up Thumb down 0

  16. razberries
    February 15, 2010 at 1:58 pm

    iscream- hee hee! i am working on a photoshop now (b/c i am unemployed and a big ol’ dork)- i’m glad we didn’t have the same idea…LOL

    Thumb up Thumb down +11

  17. madamedefarge
    February 15, 2010 at 1:58 pm

    How inspirational! I just dipped my shoe in acrylic paint and gave it a STOMP on a canvas, hence the name.

    Thumb up Thumb down +25

  18. ThisJustMakesMeSad
    February 15, 2010 at 2:06 pm

    I thought the blue one was for a performance by Blue Man Group. Wicked and Legally Blonde are perfect!

    Thumb up Thumb down +14

  19. IscreamUscream
    February 15, 2010 at 2:06 pm

    @Raz, we have that in common, hehe.
    I try not to over-use this movie, but this just works. :)

    Thumb up Thumb down +6

  20. Craiggers
    February 15, 2010 at 2:07 pm

    Hidden due to low comment rating. Click here to see.

    Thumb up Thumb down -15

  21. SunshineSanctuary
    February 15, 2010 at 2:08 pm

    Tonight, tonight
    This paint is red and bright.
    I’ll sell it on etsy
    and get paaaaaaaid.

    Toniiiight
    I’ll make Ninety-five dollars,
    If someone buys my story.
    And doesn’t guess
    That they got plaaaaayed.

    So, now
    Buy, buy.
    So I can paint in gold
    for A Chorus Liiiine!

    Toniiiiiight!

    Thumb up Thumb down +66

  22. razberries
    February 15, 2010 at 2:11 pm

    http://www.flickr.com/photos/27900808@N06/4360737324/

    There’s a canvas for us,
    Somewhere a canvas for us.
    Paint looks like blood, huffing whippets air
    Paint for us
    Somewhere.

    There’s a time for art,
    Some day a time for snark,
    A painting named West Side Story,
    It ought to be renamed West Side Gory
    Some day!

    Somewhere.
    We’ll find some new shit to laugh at,
    We’ll find a way of photoshopping that damn cat
    Somewhere . . .

    There’s a Regretsy for us,
    A time…

    Thumb up Thumb down +59

  23. razberries
    February 15, 2010 at 2:12 pm

    #22 contd (damn I got cut off)

    There’s a Regretsy for us,
    A time and place for us.
    Typing hands, we’re halfway there.
    Leave a comment if you dare…
    Somehow,
    Some day,
    Somewhere!

    Thumb up Thumb down +33

  24. kittyofassisi
    February 15, 2010 at 2:26 pm

    #14 IscreamUscream :
    Good one!

    Thumb up Thumb down +5

  25. Wilma Fingerdoo
    February 15, 2010 at 2:27 pm

    Duh,

    It’s from Carrie.

    Thumb up Thumb down +23

  26. Thistle
    February 15, 2010 at 2:28 pm

    no matter how i held it up to my face, i couldnt see the hidden picture.

    Thumb up Thumb down +31

  27. rip and snort
    February 15, 2010 at 2:28 pm

    She gets an A for consistency and an F for creativity.

    Thumb up Thumb down +12

  28. hidden due to low comment rating
    February 15, 2010 at 2:30 pm

    Hidden due to low comment rating. Click here to see.

    Thumb up Thumb down -77

  29. kittyofassisi
    February 15, 2010 at 2:31 pm

    I think it’s time to pick up the paint brush again. I would be embarrassed to ask $95 for a piece of crap like that. I’d be too embarrassed to even paint a piece of crap like that.

    Thumb up Thumb down +11

  30. rip and snort
    February 15, 2010 at 2:33 pm

    OOOH! My bad. She only made the first painting. Helen made the rest. LMAO at myself and my stupidity, but I’m so used to seeing crap on Etsy, I just assumed……. ::::sheepishly grinning:::: Apologies to the artist, but I still give an F to the original piece for lack of creativity.

    Thumb up Thumb down +11

  31. steviesegel
    February 15, 2010 at 2:33 pm

    that’s it — I’m selling my 4-year old’s art projects on etsy!

    Thumb up Thumb down +10

  32. rip and snort
    February 15, 2010 at 2:34 pm

    #28, your painting might look fine in a plastic surgeon’s office….. just saying, there is a place for it. don’t be so hard on yourself.

    Thumb up Thumb down +3

  33. Feel Free To Customise and Whimsiclise My Vagina
    February 15, 2010 at 2:46 pm

    oh dear.

    and the really sad part is that the seller has no idea how bad this is

    Thumb up Thumb down +6

  34. Thistle
    February 15, 2010 at 2:57 pm

    ah, i see our friend the thumbs-downer must be out on extended weekend pass!

    ::waves to thumbs-downer::

    (psssst….dont forget to take your meds!)

    Thumb up Thumb down +8

  35. voxwoman
    February 15, 2010 at 3:01 pm

    I did one of those 3 weeks ago. In white. And then I finished priming the 12″ wood trim, and then we painted 2 coats of gloss over it.

    When a painter leaves me with something like this, it’s because the check bounced, and they stopped in the middle of the job.

    Thumb up Thumb down +18

  36. lemon floor wax
    February 15, 2010 at 3:06 pm

    I would think this would be more appropriate for “Repo: The Genetic Opera,” you know?

    Thumb up Thumb down +10

  37. mtopia
    February 15, 2010 at 3:12 pm

    She made this painting while watching the last five minutes of West Side Story. That is about how long this would take I think.

    Thumb up Thumb down +13

  38. LeeLooDallas
    February 15, 2010 at 3:12 pm

    I guess I’ll have to rename my stuff “Alien Vs. Predator”.

    Thumb up Thumb down +6

  39. Skully
    February 15, 2010 at 3:14 pm

    @#28 Comment Hidden…: Looks like you’re living up (or down) to your name.

    Thumb up Thumb down +32

  40. HelenaHandbasket
    February 15, 2010 at 3:14 pm

    Thank God the artist clarified in the title that it was Handmade. This kind of quality and creativity can seldom be found outside of mass-produced works.

    Thumb up Thumb down +17

  41. littykidder
    February 15, 2010 at 3:16 pm

    Great film trilogy by Kristof Kieslowski, Red , White, & Blue.
    Has nada to do with this colossal waste of pigment and canvas.

    Thumb up Thumb down +11

  42. whaapplewha
    February 15, 2010 at 3:39 pm

    It’s like looking at the Matrix.

    Thumb up Thumb down +5

  43. nitebyrd
    February 15, 2010 at 3:39 pm

    Initialed by me on the front.

    Only initials? For $95.00 damn dollars I want the whole name of this person who has spilled paint on this board!

    Thumb up Thumb down +12

  44. Skully
    February 15, 2010 at 3:41 pm

    Legend has it that Sun-Tzu wrote the following passage from The Art of War while taking a dump on Tiantai mountain:

    On level ground
    Logs and boulders
    Say still;
    On steep ground
    They move;
    Square, they halt;
    Round, they roll.
    Skillfully deployed soldiers
    Are like round boulders
    Rolling down
    A mighty mountainside.
    These are all matters
    Of potential energy.

    Thumb up Thumb down +22

  45. Moons in Leo
    February 15, 2010 at 4:14 pm

    I’m hoping she was watching the movie at home on TV and not in the theatre when she was slopping paint around.

    Thumb up Thumb down +15

  46. whimsey
    February 15, 2010 at 4:31 pm

    …This is fine art like that bedsheet someone visited aunt Flo on was a fashion accessory. Seriously, does this mean I can nail a used condom to a board and charge 95 bucks for it cause I was boning some girl while The Phantom Of The Opera was on?

    Thumb up Thumb down +8

  47. sapereaude
    February 15, 2010 at 4:35 pm

    Hidden due to low comment rating. Click here to see.

    Thumb up Thumb down -10

  48. Thistle
    February 15, 2010 at 4:43 pm

    theyre PHOTOSHOPPED BY HELEN

    lol

    Thumb up Thumb down +16

  49. krystyna81
    February 15, 2010 at 4:56 pm

    *sigh*

    That is all.

    Thumb up Thumb down +5

  50. peculia
    February 15, 2010 at 5:22 pm

    Hidden due to low comment rating. Click here to see.

    Thumb up Thumb down -15

  51. Lola
    February 15, 2010 at 5:22 pm

    I don’t know what y’all are talking about. This is *art* – more than any boring ol’ Botticelli in the Uffizi or whatever Michelangelo crapped out. It takes real talent to do whatever the hell this bullshit is.

    Thumb up Thumb down +5

  52. batontwirler1
    February 15, 2010 at 5:36 pm

    This would look great sitting on A table at A wedding.

    Thumb up Thumb down +13

  53. redredred
    February 15, 2010 at 5:45 pm

    Oy vey indeed.

    Thumb up Thumb down +1

  54. Eruanna
    February 15, 2010 at 5:55 pm

    http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v315/EruannaTelperion/blue.jpg

    Anyone who gets the referance wins a cookie.

    Thumb up Thumb down +3

  55. Thistle
    February 15, 2010 at 6:00 pm

    #55 eruanna: mad men?

    Thumb up Thumb down +1

  56. littykidder
    February 15, 2010 at 6:09 pm

    I’m so mad I’m seein’ red.

    Thumb up Thumb down +7

  57. Vile & Evil Debbie Downer
    February 15, 2010 at 7:04 pm

    #29 hidden due to low comment rating, you’re that 365 self-portraits chick from the Valentines list, aren’t you? Because all you ever do is talk about your own avatar. Which is cool, but

    move

    on.

    Thumb up Thumb down +35

  58. Skully
    February 15, 2010 at 7:46 pm

    @#58 VEDD: I completely agree with you. What the fuck was comment #29 supposed to be? An infomercial? It might have been more effective had it been narrated by Eric Estrada or Suzanne Sommers. I really hope someone buys that thing so we don’t have to hear about it anymore.

    Thumb up Thumb down +28

  59. Woebegone
    February 15, 2010 at 8:15 pm

    #58 & #59: Yes and completely. Also, I’ve got mild crushes on you both, but that’s another conversation.

    #29, you got cut off before you finished (and before you got overwhelmingly thumbs-downed). I think (and hope) you were going to say, “the recycle bin” which might have merited some public approval. But I’m afraid some affected mod podge magazine cut outs on a mannequin’s head is no one else’s opinion of conversation worthy.

    You might try the Etsy Promo forum for less obvious…

    Thumb up Thumb down +18

  60. lyontamer
    February 15, 2010 at 8:29 pm

    #29. Hanging out with Hally McGehean much?

    Thumb up Thumb down +1

  61. lyontamer
    February 15, 2010 at 8:34 pm

    I want one in HyperColor pigment.

    Thumb up Thumb down +3

  62. Skully
    February 15, 2010 at 9:15 pm

    @#60 WBG: less obvious WHAT? Don’t leave us hanging. BTW, your work is awesome.

    Thumb up Thumb down +4

  63. Eruanna
    February 15, 2010 at 9:29 pm

    @#56 Thistle :
    Nope…An older movie called “Life Without Dick”….I guess its fairly obscure :/
    But theres this one great scene, the main girl paints but all of her paintings are just a solid colour on canvas. And some people were looking at her “Blue” painting and being all “snobby art critiques”
    “Thats a lot of blue”
    “Yep…theres a lot of blue in that”

    Thumb up Thumb down +4

  64. littykidder
    February 15, 2010 at 9:42 pm

    #12 headburgler~ Awesome !
    Kinda’ like a like a ‘die-orama’

    Thumb up Thumb down +5

  65. SunshineSanctuary
    February 15, 2010 at 10:07 pm

    #58, 59, 60 – I’m also fairly sure that hidden is (at least) one of the perpetrators of the thumbs down plague because none of the (seemingly obligatory now) thumbs downs started appearing til their diatribe on why their avatar is FAR SUPERIOR REGRETSY BAIT than anything else on here/

    Thumb up Thumb down +6

  66. Thistle
    February 15, 2010 at 10:17 pm

    #64 life without a dick?

    lol sounds like my life. only i like it that way -o..o-
    ^

    Thumb up Thumb down +5

  67. Vile & Evil Debbie Downer
    February 15, 2010 at 11:47 pm

    #66 SunshineSanctuary, could be, but the serial Red Thumber has been around for a loooong time. Comes and goes as the perpetrator gets bored or runs out of crack.

    Thumb up Thumb down +9

  68. PinwheelPeeWee
    February 16, 2010 at 3:11 am

    This “painting” inspired me to write a Haiku… or two

    “A West Side Story”
    We all think you’re full of shit
    highway robbery

    and one more:

    Regretsy “artist”
    Must use that term quite loosely
    Hence. the snarkiness.

    Thumb up Thumb down +7

  69. takilasunrise
    February 16, 2010 at 7:10 am

    Hidden due to low comment rating. Click here to see.

    Thumb up Thumb down -4

  70. hidden due to low comment rating
    February 16, 2010 at 9:02 am

    Hidden due to low comment rating. Click here to see.

    Thumb up Thumb down -9

  71. hidden due to low comment rating
    February 16, 2010 at 9:07 am

    Hidden due to low comment rating. Click here to see.

    Thumb up Thumb down -10

  72. @#71 Hidden: I post my share of lame comments on this board, but at least I know the difference between Regretsy and Craigslist. Mmmmmmmkay?

    Thumb up Thumb down +11

  73. crazycatlady
    February 16, 2010 at 9:27 am

    I like to be in America. Okay by me in America. I can paint shit in America. People buy shit in America.

    Thumb up Thumb down +11

  74. Woebegone
    February 16, 2010 at 9:32 am

    #63 Skully~
    I apologize. I didn’t mean to leave you hanging. What got cut off was the term, “self promotion.” As in less obvious self promotion. As in (#29) submit your shit to Helen if you think it’s Regretsy-worthy, but don’t serve it up to us here in an “aww, shucks, I suck” manipulation ploy. Regretsy works so well because it’s genuine, honest, sincere. That ploy is desperate and lame, and desperate and lame draws stinks and draws flies. Not in a Regresty way.

    Btw, thanks,…

    Thumb up Thumb down +8

  75. Woebegone
    February 16, 2010 at 9:34 am

    Argh. I gotta get the hang on this. I’m too long winded.

    Thanks, Skully, for the sweet compliment. I really appreciate it! <3

    Thumb up Thumb down +3

  76. jeffreyrcarey
    February 16, 2010 at 9:42 am

    “Also available:” — very funny, H!

    Thumb up Thumb down +1

  77. hidden due to low comment rating
    February 16, 2010 at 10:47 am

    Hidden due to low comment rating. Click here to see.

    Thumb up Thumb down -12

  78. hidden due to low comment rating
    February 16, 2010 at 11:47 am

    Hidden due to low comment rating. Click here to see.

    Thumb up Thumb down -9

  79. UnaBee
    February 16, 2010 at 2:18 pm

    Jesus christ, go troll on friendster or something already.

    Thumb up Thumb down +9

  80. clitty’s got claws
    February 16, 2010 at 11:02 pm

    Being an artist…this piece offends me.

    Actually, it looks like when I’m halfway through painting the base colors for a painting. I’m wondering if that’s what really happened here…they were painting the base color for a painting and halfway through said “aw, fuck it. I don’t want to do this anymore. I’ll just post it on Etsy and spend more time writing a long-winded description of this “painting” than I did actually painting the canvas”.

    Thumb up Thumb down +5

  81. snarkeygirl
    February 17, 2010 at 12:24 am

    This piece left me feeling board.

    Thumb up Thumb down +5

  82. SacredFlesh
    February 19, 2010 at 8:48 pm

    You know… I spend hours brainstorming and drawing ideas for new items… and then I see this :/

    Thumb up Thumb down +3

  83. OMFGITSJESUS
    February 21, 2010 at 10:57 pm

    So where’s the Avatar one? WTF biased!

    Thumb up Thumb down +2

  84. ApatheticOnion
    October 15, 2010 at 8:34 pm

    Shouldn’t the ‘Wicked’ one be green?

    Thumb up Thumb down +1

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