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Last Minute Valentine Suggestion -NSFW

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97 comments on Last Minute Valentine Suggestion -NSFW

  1. Danorz
    February 13, 2010 at 12:01 pm

    wat

    Thumb up Thumb down +11

  2. raven
    February 13, 2010 at 12:02 pm

    The hair is the BEST part!

    Thumb up Thumb down +42

  3. WTFisthatanyway
    February 13, 2010 at 12:02 pm

    What a dick! Um, I meant the naked guy – oh , never mind!

    Thumb up Thumb down +18

  4. Jea
    February 13, 2010 at 12:03 pm

    He must have a really hard time finding pants that fit.

    Thumb up Thumb down +120

  5. Dynomoose
    February 13, 2010 at 12:07 pm

    Such a shame it’s felt. That thing would relly add something to my new yard.

    Thumb up Thumb down +38

  6. IscreamUscream
    February 13, 2010 at 12:09 pm

    for when your Humvee is in the shop.

    Thumb up Thumb down +156

  7. joan of snark
    February 13, 2010 at 12:09 pm

    I once had a giant dick, but I divorced him.

    Thumb up Thumb down +244

  8. HelenaHandbasket
    February 13, 2010 at 12:09 pm

    You finally feature the perfect (self-) gift, and IT’S NOT FOR SALE? I can pay $15 for a postcard of it, but I’m sure it won’t be so “fully functional”.

    Thumb up Thumb down +17

  9. pentoon
    February 13, 2010 at 12:10 pm

    Because all penises should come with a bug sprayer in the sack.

    Thumb up Thumb down +86

  10. crazycase
    February 13, 2010 at 12:10 pm

    WTF? fully functional? I want to see the vag they tested it on…and how much is shipping?

    Thumb up Thumb down +70

  11. lyontamer
    February 13, 2010 at 12:11 pm

    That interview is also hilarious. I feel his pain.

    Wait, that sounds dirty.

    Thumb up Thumb down +17

  12. littykidder
    February 13, 2010 at 12:14 pm

    What a pisser.

    Thumb up Thumb down +29

  13. buffoon
    February 13, 2010 at 12:15 pm

    be afraid. be very afraid.

    Thumb up Thumb down +6

  14. Helen Killer
    February 13, 2010 at 12:15 pm

    It already sold, sadly. I was saving it for this special day and someone bought it. So I just linked to his website so you could see it in action.

    Thumb up Thumb down +26

  15. lyontamer
    February 13, 2010 at 12:16 pm

    OMG, Scott Blake, the barcode guy! I’ve seen his collage work before! Go see, it’s really good. Click “collages” on the left of that webpage.

    LOL I did not recognize him with no clothes on. Eew.

    Thumb up Thumb down +4

  16. rotnblue
    February 13, 2010 at 12:16 pm

    OMG FULLY FUNCTIONING!!!

    Thumb up Thumb down +19

  17. jackie31337
    February 13, 2010 at 12:24 pm

    I think this is quite possibly awesome. If it weren’t for the fact that I wouldn’t have the first idea about how to use it, I would so totally buy this.

    Thumb up Thumb down +16

  18. starrydreams
    February 13, 2010 at 12:26 pm

    The heart shaped balls made it the perfect valentines day gift!!!

    Thumb up Thumb down +24

  19. littykidder
    February 13, 2010 at 12:26 pm

    That thing is certainly more than a mouthful.

    Thumb up Thumb down +40

  20. razberries
    February 13, 2010 at 12:28 pm

    great, now every time i hear, “hot for teacher” i will think of two clowns running around with a giant squirting penis

    Thumb up Thumb down +22

  21. littykidder
    February 13, 2010 at 12:31 pm

    Surely some crafty wizard will dream up a beautifully embroidered jock strap…..

    Thumb up Thumb down +21

  22. Danorz
    February 13, 2010 at 12:34 pm

    @#16:

    fully functioning and operational battle station!

    Thumb up Thumb down +9

  23. fame4crap
    February 13, 2010 at 12:35 pm

    I “felt” the Valentine’s Day Love from HKiller
    I wonder if it comes in flavors?

    Thumb up Thumb down +7

  24. voxwoman
    February 13, 2010 at 12:35 pm

    I will never understand why GWAR didn’t use this onstage.

    Thumb up Thumb down +25

  25. AgoutiAvenger
    February 13, 2010 at 12:37 pm

    Razzberries, you made me look, thinking there would be actual clowns. I’m so disappointed. :(

    Thumb up Thumb down +9

  26. tresliso
    February 13, 2010 at 12:38 pm

    Talk about overcompensating!

    And this has to right up there in the top ten weirdest shit I’ve seen on Regretsy.

    Thumb up Thumb down +19

  27. lyontamer
    February 13, 2010 at 12:40 pm

    #5 And you could dress it up in a cheerleader outfit.

    Thumb up Thumb down +21

  28. butterwort
    February 13, 2010 at 12:40 pm

    How about NO

    Thumb up Thumb down +3

  29. cratz
    February 13, 2010 at 12:40 pm

    If only I’d seen this before I made my Mardi Gras costume! It’s only half this size.

    Thumb up Thumb down +14

  30. catwithoutacause
    February 13, 2010 at 12:43 pm

    and i grew up in omaha and left because it was so boring! need to take a trip back and see those giant “o”sss

    Thumb up Thumb down +5

  31. AnotherPersonsTrash
    February 13, 2010 at 12:49 pm

    You know, as a single gal, this would have been perfect as a self V-day gift. I guess chocolate will have to do.

    Thumb up Thumb down +17

  32. razberries
    February 13, 2010 at 12:53 pm

    ok, does anyone else see this? it looks like he’s screwing a penis, with his penis. that’s so meta!

    Thumb up Thumb down +41

  33. www
    February 13, 2010 at 12:55 pm

    How much did this go for? Inquiring minds need to know!

    Thumb up Thumb down +14

  34. jodirocks
    February 13, 2010 at 12:59 pm

    i had a GWAR comment all ready to go but someone beat me to it!! oh well nothin says Happy Valentines like a gigantic penis prop!

    Thumb up Thumb down +12

  35. Thistle
    February 13, 2010 at 1:07 pm

    omg i have seen that guys work in omaha lol

    Thumb up Thumb down +3

  36. lyontamer
    February 13, 2010 at 1:09 pm

    Thumb up Thumb down +50

  37. littykidder
    February 13, 2010 at 1:10 pm

    ‘They say this cat is a bad mother, shut your mouth
    I’m talkin’ bout Shaft can you dig it?
    A sex machine to all the chicks ,Shaft ya’ damn right’

    Thumb up Thumb down +22

  38. lyontamer
    February 13, 2010 at 1:14 pm

    Hey! How come he curled up the dredlocks on top but not the ones underneath?

    Thumb up Thumb down +5

  39. SunshineSanctuary
    February 13, 2010 at 1:15 pm

    Rofl Lyontamer. That’s sack-sational!

    Thumb up Thumb down +10

  40. lyontamer
    February 13, 2010 at 1:15 pm

    I want one that vibrates.

    Thumb up Thumb down +19

  41. Lucretia Borgia
    February 13, 2010 at 1:16 pm

    I …. DO NOT …. BELIEVE ….. THIS!!!!!!!!

    Thumb up Thumb down +5

  42. Vile & Evil Debbie Downer
    February 13, 2010 at 1:16 pm

    raz, looks like a giant cock & balls being humped to me also. Which means YET ANOTHER etsy seller made the fatal mistake of putting his dick in it.

    Thumb up Thumb down +39

  43. Rowan
    February 13, 2010 at 1:17 pm

    If you he had some hula hoops it would make for a really interesting game of ring toss.

    Thumb up Thumb down +34

  44. lyontamer
    February 13, 2010 at 1:18 pm

    This would also make a hilarious mechanical bull.

    Thumb up Thumb down +26

  45. mickey
    February 13, 2010 at 1:20 pm

    With apologies to Oscar Mayer:

    I wish I had an Omahamian weiner
    The size is quite a thing to see-e-e
    And if I had an Omahamian weiner…

    Awww, screw it.

    Thumb up Thumb down +23

  46. Danorz
    February 13, 2010 at 1:20 pm

    either everything is art or nothing is.

    c’eci n’est-pas une pipe.

    Thumb up Thumb down +14

  47. Patty has been abuducted by an alien
    February 13, 2010 at 1:22 pm

    I just have to say that I love this. The video was awesome and I called in my entire family to watch it.

    That may be why my kids need therapy… hmmm…

    Thumb up Thumb down +21

  48. ThisJustMakesMeSad
    February 13, 2010 at 1:23 pm

    Yeah, but can I water my garden with it?

    Actually given the spray radius, I’m almost tempted to buy it and give it to my friend who is a volunteer firefighter. Imagine pulling that sweet mo-fo out at the next local house fire… ;)

    Thumb up Thumb down +40

  49. SunshineSanctuary
    February 13, 2010 at 1:27 pm
  50. ThisJustMakesMeSad
    February 13, 2010 at 1:31 pm

    @ #48 Sunshine Sanctuary – lol! I can taste the rainbow :)

    Thumb up Thumb down +16

  51. littykidder
    February 13, 2010 at 1:34 pm

    That’s a rather well hung piece of ‘art’

    Thumb up Thumb down +21

  52. SuperSnark
    February 13, 2010 at 1:35 pm

    Im beginning to wonder if any of the people who put all this penis and vagina art out on etsy ever get laid
    Hmmmmm……

    Thumb up Thumb down +22

  53. Frankenkitty
    February 13, 2010 at 1:38 pm

    Finally something to put in those huge saggy vaginas we keep hearing about.

    Thumb up Thumb down +27

  54. elliott
    February 13, 2010 at 1:46 pm

    I want that to bludgeon some my neighbor to death a la A Clockwork Orange… or for a water sculpture in my zen garden

    Thumb up Thumb down +5

  55. razberries
    February 13, 2010 at 1:49 pm

    #41 VEDD- “YET ANOTHER etsy seller made the fatal mistake of putting his dick in it.”

    hahaha, yes!! yeah, this thing was “pre-owned”, wasn’ even thinkin’ that far ahead…ew.

    Thumb up Thumb down +11

  56. Eruanna
    February 13, 2010 at 1:52 pm

    I’d REALLY hate to know what he means by “fully functioning”

    Thumb up Thumb down +5

  57. Eruanna
    February 13, 2010 at 1:53 pm

    Also: I cant see the video :(

    Thumb up Thumb down +3

  58. Vile & Evil Debbie Downer
    February 13, 2010 at 2:11 pm

    Kinda felt bad for this guy, so I got him the Major Weight Loss Magickle Ring.

    Thumb up Thumb down +104

  59. StinkBait
    February 13, 2010 at 2:15 pm

    Eh, they probably got good money for it. You got to admit, not everyone can make a funtioning giant cock yet sell one.

    Thumb up Thumb down +10

  60. littykidder
    February 13, 2010 at 2:23 pm

    @56Vile & Evil DD,That’s probably a load off his mind.

    Thumb up Thumb down +15

  61. Wilma Fingerdoo
    February 13, 2010 at 2:28 pm

    We bought a 12 foot inflatable penis for my sister’s 40th birthday and did a drunk “ring and run” after we blew the damn thing up and left it on her doorstep.

    Sadly, her 13 year old son opened the door.
    She said he yelled up, “Hey Mom, I think it’s for you!”.

    Thumb up Thumb down +60

  62. lemming
    February 13, 2010 at 2:46 pm

    I’m not sure if it would of helped or hindered the video if they had used milk.

    Thumb up Thumb down +8

  63. sudabaki©
    February 13, 2010 at 2:47 pm

    Well that’s definitely more than a mouthful.

    Thumb up Thumb down +13

  64. SuperSnark
    February 13, 2010 at 2:56 pm

    would be pretty awesome if he could make one to hold helium and have it “fully functional’ for the macys Thanksgiving parade!!!

    Thumb up Thumb down +19

  65. SuperSnark
    February 13, 2010 at 2:58 pm

    #58 VEDD: Fucking awesome!!! :)

    Thumb up Thumb down +12

  66. SuperSnark
    February 13, 2010 at 3:08 pm

    OMG I was in such awe of VEDD’s photoshop skills I forgot to say what I was thinking:

    NOW THAT’S A COCK RING!!!!

    Thumb up Thumb down +31

  67. clevercat
    February 13, 2010 at 3:17 pm

    Isn’t that guy one of the Chippendale dancers, you know third from the left? Oh wait, no, the Chippendale guy is clean shaven.

    VEDD – totally awesomeness!

    #63 sudabaki© and here I thought you were saving yourself for me.

    Thumb up Thumb down +11

  68. snarkymcbitterson
    February 13, 2010 at 3:18 pm

    I was wondering what Vincent Gallo was up to these days.

    Thumb up Thumb down +19

  69. DeeBauchery
    February 13, 2010 at 3:53 pm

    Just what every guy needs, a bug sprayer in his sack.

    Thumb up Thumb down +9

  70. IscreamUscream
    February 13, 2010 at 4:03 pm

    VEDD :lol: and it comes with its own “charging bag”
    Looks to me Claes Oldenburg did a Viagra ad.

    Thumb up Thumb down +9

  71. Eruanna
    February 13, 2010 at 4:07 pm

    So I came back to regretsy to check out how many of y’all cool cats had commented, and saw this…

    http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v315/EruannaTelperion/69.jpg

    This amused me much more then it should.

    Thumb up Thumb down +6

  72. sudabaki©
    February 13, 2010 at 5:01 pm

    #67 clevercat: Don’t worry, you’re my favorite thing in a pair of skants.

    Thumb up Thumb down +11

  73. clevercat
    February 13, 2010 at 5:07 pm

    #58 Vile & Evil Debbie Downer – if that doesn’t make it go away have a drink of water

    Thumb up Thumb down +11

  74. mtopia
    February 13, 2010 at 6:07 pm

    Those poor O!s. Also wow, just wow.

    Thumb up Thumb down +5

  75. MaryBeth
    February 13, 2010 at 6:28 pm

    Are you sure he is selling this? He seems a little “attached” to this piece.

    Thumb up Thumb down +7

  76. tauney
    February 13, 2010 at 6:48 pm

    I have absolutely no idea why I watched that entire video. Poor plot line with too many climaxes…. heheh.

    Thumb up Thumb down +13

  77. nitebyrd
    February 13, 2010 at 6:58 pm

    OMFG!

    Thumb up Thumb down +1

  78. Vile & Evil Debbie Downer
    February 13, 2010 at 8:29 pm

    WaaHOOO! I won a comment of the day ribbon, SHIT YEAH.

    I want to thank my parents, who raised me to fear and hate giant penises. Also my therapist, who says my inner child has a fixation with shiny rocks.

    Thumb up Thumb down +26

  79. HomeAlone
    February 13, 2010 at 9:41 pm

    Ah, boys and their toys… such an endless obsession with their junk. I really have seen one too many oversized penises. Geez, another giant dick? That’s original.

    Thumb up Thumb down +9

  80. Sammy the Goose
    February 13, 2010 at 9:43 pm

    After watching the video, I have to believe that even Jesus is finding it difficult to forgive the boys who made it.

    Thumb up Thumb down +5

  81. snarkeygirl
    February 13, 2010 at 11:24 pm

    Cock-a-doodle-don’t! Actually, this is very silly, but I think they should have used milk… the water looked a bit “pissy”.

    Thumb up Thumb down +4

  82. lyontamer
    February 14, 2010 at 11:08 am

    Hey! Could one of the techies convert this to a Youtube video for us poor schmucks who don’t have Quicktime? Pretty please with a penis on top?

    Thumb up Thumb down +2

  83. lyontamer
    February 14, 2010 at 11:09 am

    …Or flash. Flash would work also. :)

    Thumb up Thumb down 0

  84. rip and snort
    February 14, 2010 at 11:17 am

    I don’t know what is more disturbing, that people make this artwork or that someone actually bought this. I would like to see this in a view it in a room.

    Thumb up Thumb down +4

  85. kittyofassisi
    February 14, 2010 at 3:07 pm

    Oh crap! The video totally froze my computer. Damn it! Oh well.

    Anyone familiar with Aubrey Beardlsey’s Wagnerites drawing? I can’t find it on line, but I have a copy of it at home.

    Thumb up Thumb down 0

  86. kittyofassisi
    February 14, 2010 at 3:07 pm

    Oh yay! I got my new avatar to work.

    Thumb up Thumb down +3

  87. NedTheDeadInRed
    February 14, 2010 at 5:23 pm

    OK, when I first saw this, had 3 reactions:

    1. A felt penis. Plenty of guys go to great lengths to get their penis felt (rimshot).

    2. Bug sprayer in the sack. Yay! Now I have new tools to fight off this terrible case of crabs.

    3. (Obvious) Are we compensating, maybe?

    Thumb up Thumb down +6

  88. NedTheDeadInRed
    February 14, 2010 at 5:27 pm

    Oh, and also…how mature is “mature?”

    Thumb up Thumb down +6

  89. whaapplewha
    February 14, 2010 at 9:45 pm

    #68 snarkymc…. the Vincent Gallo comment was priceless.

    #87 NedThe… you said you had 3 reactions and I read it as you had 3 erections. Oh lordy.

    Thumb up Thumb down +2

  90. dscokween
    February 15, 2010 at 12:19 am

    I was a little sad when Jemaine was arrested for prostitution. I’m glad to see Brett has come up with another clever way to make the rent. This one probably already sold to Mel, huh?

    Thumb up Thumb down +3

  91. Efit
    February 15, 2010 at 7:30 am

    ew brown bunny

    Thumb up Thumb down 0

  92. Skully
    February 15, 2010 at 9:27 am

    @#58 VEDD: Congrats on COTD! Mote it be!

    Thumb up Thumb down 0

  93. randomlygenerated
    February 16, 2010 at 12:13 am

    I’m from Omaha. I don’t know whether to be ashamed or proud. I’m thinking ashamed.

    Thumb up Thumb down +3

  94. just_jenn
    February 17, 2010 at 3:40 pm

    I think I saw this guy get decked in the face on TV

    Thumb up Thumb down 0

  95. Ayane
    January 27, 2011 at 11:29 am

    I’m from Nebraska (not Omaha though). Why is it that whenever Nebraska is in the news it is for something like this?

    Thumb up Thumb down 0

  96. awkwardpanda
    April 22, 2011 at 11:46 pm

    AND fun for the kids! Remember, you must alert your neighbours that you’ll be moving into their community! :D

    Thumb up Thumb down 0

  97. aRI0TinmyHEART
    July 4, 2011 at 9:07 pm

    this would look lovely on my front lawn, right next to my vagina water fountain.

    Thumb up Thumb down 0

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