So that every shriek of every child at seeing your hideousness will be yours to cherish, every babe that weeps at your approach, every woman who cries out: “Dear God, what is that thing?” will echo in your perfect ears.
That is what “to the pain” means. It means I leave you in anguish, wallowing in freakish misery, forever.
I don’t believe I see coral or a shell here. Sorry, FAIL on the sea life identification, love of the ocean not withstanding. Also don’t see the promised feather, in any of the photos.
At first I thought “ho hum, just another varnished turd-barf on a 22IN necklace”, but when I read that it was selected IN SIGHT OF A SPACE SHUTTLE ON ITS LAUNCH PAD, wow, mysticle for sure. What did the space shuttle think of the whole turd harvesting encounter? Maybe it should get first rights to this glistening gem.
the last time I saw something like this emerge from a body of water, it wound up growing really big and eating everyone in town. And then the army had to shoot at it, and maybe Godzilla flamed it to death.
#26 Rowan – You made me laugh or make some kind of barking sound when I looked at the side view, and I coughed up something that looks kind of like that…thing.
#32, bondgurl, don’t ruin our fun by convincing us there is a mentally challenged person who doesn’t know better. Shame, shame on you for guilt tripping on our fun!
Suda, i think she might have been being sarcastic too, but I think Helen had made a comment in another posting about how it ruins the fun when we assume that there is a mental handicap or other deeper social issues. Lol, I was kidding too.
What made the seller select these two things from an entire beach full of rocks and shells and put them together, dump gloss on them and turn it into a NECKLACE? Wtf?
@Suda–yeah, his stuff is “southwest themed”, it looks more like CSI: Etsy. Quite a lot has an unsettling “biopsy” vibe to it. I just don’t get SW from stuff like this: http://www.etsy.com/view_listing.php?listing_id=32950647
#59: I know!! I keep expecting the SAY WHAT? guy to pop out from behind one of his items so I can say “Whoa, it’s all just a joke. You really had us going there, I can’t believe we all thought someone was actually selling those half-chewed snickers bars.”
New meaning to polishing a turd.
Maybe his intent is to make men’s jewelry. I suspect it’d take someone pretty damned manly to tie a turd around his neck and head off to the grocery store/club/bowling alley/truck stop.
So, if you read this guy’s profile it says he was a cropduster for some years….guessing his faulty interpretations of sea life can be attributed to all that time spent puffing toxic sprays.
So I looked around their store some more, and I think I figured this out. Their material may have originated in the southwest, but all that varnish transforms what may be a nice desert-varnished stone into something oozingly organic. Lay off the varnish, and these might resemble organs less
This artist needs glasses if she/he thinks this is coral. I think it’s sludge from run off from the launch pad or something. And where is the feather? I can’t seem to find it.
Late to the party, but figured it out! Merritt Island is a minimum of 3 miles away from the actual beach. So he grabbed some old dog shit from the river and called it a day. That’s gotta be it. For my sanity.
February 11, 2010 at 4:35 pm
Um, it’s shit on shit. Nothing more, nothing less.
February 11, 2010 at 4:35 pm
How is this a feather?
February 11, 2010 at 4:35 pm
I don’t even understand this. The necklace or the description. It’s a drecklace.
February 11, 2010 at 4:36 pm
I thought she said “colons” instead of “colors”.
Considering what this looks like, I’d say it’s an honest mistake.
February 11, 2010 at 4:36 pm
I hack shit like this up after a night of heavy drinking and poorly rolled joints…
February 11, 2010 at 4:36 pm
Didn’t know H.R. Giger did jewelry.
February 11, 2010 at 4:36 pm
Our chug (pug/chihuahua) threw up something just like this on my chest one morning, except I think his had grass mixed in.
February 11, 2010 at 4:36 pm
And mentioning the space shuttle relates to this rubbery piece of crap HOW?
February 11, 2010 at 4:37 pm
Too much going on here…. undigested bacon, pasta???? Is this a stool sample???
February 11, 2010 at 4:39 pm
and she LOVES THE OCEAN AND THE DESERT!
Take it down a notch, toots.
February 11, 2010 at 4:40 pm
The nearby launch pad explains the dead sea creatures.
February 11, 2010 at 4:41 pm
Helen, if your dog’s vomit looks like that, you need to get her to a vet ASAP.
February 11, 2010 at 4:42 pm
I just figured out that you mean GAG GIFT as in I’m gagging looking at this pile of __________.
a) shit
b) vomit
3) hairball
d) chewed up bacon
That’s funny!
February 11, 2010 at 4:42 pm
wha?
February 11, 2010 at 4:43 pm
Fettucini, the dog snuck pasta.
February 11, 2010 at 4:44 pm
I go to the desert regularly and have never seen anything this shitty .
February 11, 2010 at 4:45 pm
Hidden due to low comment rating. Click here to see.
February 11, 2010 at 4:45 pm
Wrong! Your ears you keep, and I’ll tell you why…
So that every shriek of every child at seeing your hideousness will be yours to cherish, every babe that weeps at your approach, every woman who cries out: “Dear God, what is that thing?” will echo in your perfect ears.
That is what “to the pain” means. It means I leave you in anguish, wallowing in freakish misery, forever.
February 11, 2010 at 4:46 pm
whatever it was had worms.
February 11, 2010 at 4:47 pm
I don’t believe I see coral or a shell here. Sorry, FAIL on the sea life identification, love of the ocean not withstanding. Also don’t see the promised feather, in any of the photos.
February 11, 2010 at 4:49 pm
I should know better than to click a Regretsy link named ‘gag gift’ when I’ve just sat down with a nice little snack. I really should know better.
February 11, 2010 at 4:53 pm
Jeepers! Got to his shop and check out the SIDE view of this crapulence! Yikes
February 11, 2010 at 4:54 pm
sorry, I spit out the one candy in the valentine candy box that I didn’t like… ptooie!!
(that’s what it looks like, anyway)
February 11, 2010 at 4:55 pm
Looks like a fake puke gag covered in resin or something my cat left on the floor after eating a mouse!
February 11, 2010 at 4:56 pm
At first I thought “ho hum, just another varnished turd-barf on a 22IN necklace”, but when I read that it was selected IN SIGHT OF A SPACE SHUTTLE ON ITS LAUNCH PAD, wow, mysticle for sure. What did the space shuttle think of the whole turd harvesting encounter? Maybe it should get first rights to this glistening gem.
February 11, 2010 at 5:02 pm
When I spent the week at the beach, the seagulls left many a creation like this on my vehicle’s windshield.
February 11, 2010 at 5:07 pm
http://www.etsy.com/view_listing.php?ref=vl_other_2&listing_id=32591021
The side view is even better! It looks like one of those catnip fetus toys after a whole lotta kitty loving.
February 11, 2010 at 5:14 pm
the last time I saw something like this emerge from a body of water, it wound up growing really big and eating everyone in town. And then the army had to shoot at it, and maybe Godzilla flamed it to death.
February 11, 2010 at 5:20 pm
#26 Rowan – You made me laugh or make some kind of barking sound when I looked at the side view, and I coughed up something that looks kind of like that…thing.
February 11, 2010 at 5:31 pm
I hope this guy gets sand fleas next time he goes to the beach to collect shit.
February 11, 2010 at 5:47 pm
Vox- you should get comment of the day for #27, I say.
Everyone- the side-view is 100x worse, I urge you all to look. Or maybe you really shouldn’t.
February 11, 2010 at 6:01 pm
How am I supposed to choose between this and the penis cross necklace? Which one would look better paired with my cotton slub?
February 11, 2010 at 6:03 pm
The sad part is, he ACTUALLY thinks he picked up coral.
We shouldn’t be so mean, he may be visually impaired.
It would explain how someone could pick up animal feces, laquer the shit out of it, tie it to a peice of leather and claim it’s jewellery.
There’s some kind of impairment going on here.
February 11, 2010 at 6:10 pm
Ya know, I think I pulled something like this out of the stomach of the frog I had to dissect in High School.
And Lyontamer, boy howdy does someone have it out for you (not me)!
February 11, 2010 at 6:27 pm
It really IS a sea animal’s shell – the species Dirtii Sanchezi if I recall rightly.
February 11, 2010 at 6:41 pm
Well thank goodness he doesn’t use paint in any of his jewelry. Wouldn’t want to cover up that natural beauty.
February 11, 2010 at 6:47 pm
PLACENTA- OMG- This needs to be buried somewhere far away where nobody will ever find it again.
February 11, 2010 at 6:51 pm
As a veterinary student, this made me think of:
- a white blood cell eating dead tissue
- cirrhosis
- our last patient’s stool sample
February 11, 2010 at 6:54 pm
There was some serious partying going on at that beach.
February 11, 2010 at 6:56 pm
I have just three questions: 1) Where’s the feather? 2) Where’s the coral? 3) Who would willingly don this as a “necklace”?
February 11, 2010 at 7:01 pm
Look! A seahorse!
http://www.etsy.com/view_listing.php?ref=vl_other_1&listing_id=32590658
February 11, 2010 at 7:49 pm
I hope he makes better wine at his vineyard than he makes jewelry…
February 11, 2010 at 7:52 pm
Unless something ATE the feather and pooped it back out, I must say No.
February 11, 2010 at 7:58 pm
#32, bondgurl, don’t ruin our fun by convincing us there is a mentally challenged person who doesn’t know better. Shame, shame on you for guilt tripping on our fun!
February 11, 2010 at 8:02 pm
Perfect for wearing to the colon cleansing session I have scheduled next week.
February 11, 2010 at 8:03 pm
Dancing Dog Desert stone?
http://www.etsy.com/view_listing.php?ref=vl_other_1&listing_id=32971895
Somebody’s been hittin’ the peyote.
February 11, 2010 at 8:08 pm
Looks like a shit pizza.
February 11, 2010 at 8:11 pm
I guess I have to scoop the litterbox again.
February 11, 2010 at 8:19 pm
Whoa. What happened to her vagina?!?
February 11, 2010 at 8:20 pm
No kidding #39 Helena. Would you wear this out for pizza? To a Sports Ill. swimsuit photo shoot? To the vet?
February 11, 2010 at 8:21 pm
You know, some of these etsy sellers make it too easy.
February 11, 2010 at 8:43 pm
#43 Kitty, I think she was being sarcastic. Either that or I’m too hard to recognize guilt being doled out.
#34 Vile & Evil Debbie Downer: I love you so.
February 11, 2010 at 8:51 pm
Someone actually shellacked a turd?
February 11, 2010 at 9:09 pm
Suda, i think she might have been being sarcastic too, but I think Helen had made a comment in another posting about how it ruins the fun when we assume that there is a mental handicap or other deeper social issues. Lol, I was kidding too.
What made the seller select these two things from an entire beach full of rocks and shells and put them together, dump gloss on them and turn it into a NECKLACE? Wtf?
February 11, 2010 at 9:12 pm
#53Kitty: Where is that damn Snarkvetica when we need it?
And you have to think outside the box. Drecklaces are the new craze. All the kids are wearing them.
February 11, 2010 at 9:32 pm
Stare at this creepy thing long enough…and it moves!
http://farm5.static.flickr.com/4042/4350004133_6835ce5b5b_o.gif
February 11, 2010 at 9:49 pm
#55 ISUS gee thanks , the worms are getting restless.
February 11, 2010 at 9:50 pm
OMG!!!! I’m going to have nightmares! And I’ll never be able to eat bacon again.
February 11, 2010 at 10:08 pm
WTF? Okay, I know what everyone THINKS it may be, but does anyone actually KNOW what it is? lol
And this one looks either like an embryo or a brain: http://www.etsy.com/view_listing.php?ref=vl_other_2&listing_id=32464199
I think I’d take the risk of wearing the penis crucifix over anything in this guy’s shop any day.
February 11, 2010 at 10:25 pm
He’s gotta know his stuff looks like poop, and hork and guts right? He’s playing us, right? Right? Someone please say SOMETHING!!!
February 11, 2010 at 10:59 pm
@Suda–yeah, his stuff is “southwest themed”, it looks more like CSI: Etsy. Quite a lot has an unsettling “biopsy” vibe to it. I just don’t get SW from stuff like this:
http://www.etsy.com/view_listing.php?listing_id=32950647
February 11, 2010 at 11:00 pm
#59: I know!! I keep expecting the SAY WHAT? guy to pop out from behind one of his items so I can say “Whoa, it’s all just a joke. You really had us going there, I can’t believe we all thought someone was actually selling those half-chewed snickers bars.”
February 11, 2010 at 11:13 pm
She should left shit stuff lying where she found it.
February 11, 2010 at 11:14 pm
OMG that typo is so hilarious. I meant to say “she should have left this stuff lying where she found it”
February 11, 2010 at 11:32 pm
Now my day is complete.
http://www.flickr.com/photos/36532708@N00/4350166987/
Goodnight.
February 11, 2010 at 11:38 pm
Hidden due to low comment rating. Click here to see.
February 12, 2010 at 1:07 am
New meaning to polishing a turd.
Maybe his intent is to make men’s jewelry. I suspect it’d take someone pretty damned manly to tie a turd around his neck and head off to the grocery store/club/bowling alley/truck stop.
February 12, 2010 at 4:26 am
wow..
never saw a necklace with it’s guts hanging out..
February 12, 2010 at 5:05 am
What part of this is the feather…?
I’m going to assume it came from a flightless bird…
February 12, 2010 at 5:08 am
Hidden due to low comment rating. Click here to see.
February 12, 2010 at 5:47 am
UnaBee – I feel the love.
ISUS – you have captured the true essence of this item. It’s a Horta embryo.
http://memory-alpha.org/en/wiki/File:Horta.jpg
February 12, 2010 at 6:46 am
Thislooks like some afterbirth gone bad.
February 12, 2010 at 7:00 am
#64 Sudabaki=WIN.
February 12, 2010 at 8:17 am
Of all the things he could pick up on the beach, this was his big find?
February 12, 2010 at 8:45 am
Maybe “space shuttle on its launch pad” is a euphemism for “elderly dog copping a squat.”
February 12, 2010 at 8:47 am
@Suda
pretty much sums this one up!
@Vox –I betcha that’s my inspiration. This thing is alive.
February 12, 2010 at 9:54 am
3 Questions:
1. Where is the shell?
2. Where is the coral?
3. Where is the feather?
I’m confused. This looks like a piece of shellacked dog shit stuck on a piece of shellacked play doh. And the side view, UGH!!!!!
February 12, 2010 at 10:15 am
True, it’s been a while since I took biology, but I don’t remember coral looking like vomit. Or inducing it.
February 12, 2010 at 10:55 am
So, if you read this guy’s profile it says he was a cropduster for some years….guessing his faulty interpretations of sea life can be attributed to all that time spent puffing toxic sprays.
February 12, 2010 at 10:57 am
“#35 Vile & Evil Debbie Downer :
It really IS a sea animal’s shell – the species Dirtii Sanchezi if I recall rightly.”
hahahahahahahahahahahahahhah ok I spilled coffee on that one … great observation! hehehe *Still chortling*
February 12, 2010 at 11:04 am
So I looked around their store some more, and I think I figured this out. Their material may have originated in the southwest, but all that varnish transforms what may be a nice desert-varnished stone into something oozingly organic. Lay off the varnish, and these might resemble organs less
February 12, 2010 at 11:14 am
#18 says it all to me. To the pain indeed!
February 12, 2010 at 11:22 am
February 12, 2010 at 11:29 am
The fact that this was tagged “space shuttle” slays me.
February 12, 2010 at 12:14 pm
uhhhhh, i check this website frequently and noticed this collection belongs to my stepfather! i live 3000 miles away!
February 12, 2010 at 6:13 pm
This artist needs glasses if she/he thinks this is coral. I think it’s sludge from run off from the launch pad or something. And where is the feather? I can’t seem to find it.
February 12, 2010 at 7:14 pm
I am going to scoop up what my cat just yarked up and put it on Etsy right now!!! Free shipping!!!!!
February 12, 2010 at 9:22 pm
@suda-Thanks! Looks much better now since you put the object into its original context, hehe.
@cannonsd-I feel for you…
February 13, 2010 at 6:32 am
Gross!!!!
February 13, 2010 at 6:43 am
I got this thing in a grab bag of jewelry once from a Goodwill. It’s got to be from this same guy! I wonder will he accept it back for a refund?
March 20, 2010 at 4:37 am
because nothing says “love” like a fossilized chunk of bird shit, fish guts, and dog vomit.
August 25, 2010 at 9:42 am
Late to the party, but figured it out! Merritt Island is a minimum of 3 miles away from the actual beach. So he grabbed some old dog shit from the river and called it a day. That’s gotta be it. For my sanity.