If the marriage doesn’t work out, you can get a hostess job at Mykonos House of Hummus.
UPDATE: A fine View it in Room submitted by IscreamUscream
Feh, my eyes are bleeding now…and the model looks constipated. Instead of I do, make that I dodo.
On the plus side , at least she spared the vintage linen lovlies.
Bwagh! It’s Bride of Craftenstein!
This is all types of wrong… might be okay for those who want to shade their nipples from the sunshine whilst breast feeding… and the gold “belt” looks more like a whip? Handy for the night of your wedding? Or? Not? Not.
I like this one:
Nothing says “fairy tale wedding” like a bit of limp chiffon on a stained and tattered mannequin.
is this a gotdamn joke? *blank stare*
I didn’t know Ace Bandages came in Gold Metallic!?
LOL That looks like one of my ugly prom dresses.
umm…this must be what you wear when you’re only getting married because it’s been arranged or someone is holding a shotgun.
its a contraception device
WTF is up with that doily? All that’s missing is a zebra cow and a broken 45.
Well I hope she recovers from the sprained ankles caused by the obvious cat attack to the hem of the creation….carry on brave soldier.
crepe de shit
The look on the models face:
“Oh man, this is so going to make it on Regretsy. Kill me now.”
#8lyontamer…it was your prom dress, up/downcycled, reappropriated or whatever, & still inappropriate &
@Skully perhaps to dry the bride’s tears? She seems to be on the verge of reconsidering…
I’m a little dumbfounded how this tacks on a decade or two to her appearance–that takes a talent.
…raw dege …wtf, can’t these people spell or at least double check their listings? Is it that difficult?
At least the model is able to relieve her constipation here : http://www.etsy.com/view_listing.php?listing_id=32829681
look at 3rd photo for potty shot : http://www.etsy.com/view_listing.php?listing_id=32829681
Can someone tell me what “cotton slub” is?
She should pay her models enough to smile and pretend they actually LIKE the clothes. At this point I’m tempted to purchase them so I can take them out back and shoot them before they claim another suicide victim.
The poor girl looks miserable.
I also think we should all pitch in and buy her a dictionary so she can learn what the words “stunning” and “beautiful” mean. Not to mention learning that “slub” and “dege” aren’t actually words.
i think this dress would work…
if tinkerbell was marrying peter pan
btw everyone, i think the model is the artist herself…check out the avatar box on etsy
All that’s missing is the matching honeymoon attire: a knitted corset and a gold braided g string, with tacky silk flowers and butterflies hot glued everywhere.
You know, I used to see things like this on Etsy and wonder, “who buys this?!” Thank God for Regretsy!
@#16 ISUS: Yeah, I’m looking at her and thinking “extra yogurt sauce on that gyro, honey.”
It’s like little girls dress-up game gone wrong!
If that is her that makes it even worse! How do you sell something that makes you cry when you put it on?
I don’t hate this though:
Wow, it’s always been my dream to get married in a dish-cloth dress. Sort of a post-feminist, post-ironic, post-taste statement of shittiness.
It almost looks like the top is chain mail. For the ultimate protection against second base!
Nothing says Spring Bride like the gold gladiator thong sandals she’s sportin’.
Strangely, the dress has me craving a Hostess Snoball.
I’d hate to see what the bridesmaids have to wear.
this is a prime example of what cheeses me off about a lot of the upcyclers/designers out there anymore….. its as if the crappier the workmanship, the “hipper” it is. Unfinished seams, crooked seams, textiles jammed together that can’t be cleaned with the same method….all in the name of being a DIY-tastic-hipster-chick. Sad.
PS, wtf is knitted crepe? Last time I checked, crepe was a treatment of a textile to create a texture, i.e. crepe rayon, crepe silk.
Raz, I was thinking the same thing, that she’s the artist. I don’t get it. That dress looks like the toilet paper cover in my dear aunt Ethel’s bathroom.
Maybe that’s why she’s sad. She’s gonna get a whuppin’ from granny when she finds her doily has disappeared.
This is NOT a wedding dress…
This is the bridesmaid dress at Wonder Woman’s wedding.
ok, aside from the fact that this is fugly and extremely unflattering, why the plastic flowers? The seller is obviously capable of making flowers, as seen in other items she has for sale: http://www.etsy.com/view_listing.php?ref=vl_other_2&listing_id=34133598 I’m not saying they’re GOOD flowers, but they’re better than the dollar store crap affixed here.
And don’t get me started on the “gold braid belt”….
This is TRAGIC.
Raz, Suda And the dress comes “potpourri-scented”.
@ #30 I’d say the whole outfit qualifies as the ultimate protection against second base!
I”m glad its different from ‘cotton slub’, no one wants cotton slub on their wedding dress…
I don’t know what “cotton slub” is and frankly, I don’t want to know.
#31 Wilma Fingerdoo : Strangely, the dress has me craving a Hostess Snoball..
Me: ..To throw at her.
“#18 voxwoman :
Can someone tell me what “cotton slub” is?”
“Slub” is yarn that isn’t evenly combed out before being spun, so it’s bumpy.
The Regretsy English Dictionary defines it as:
“Slub” 1. A speech-impeded verbalization of disrespect (“Hey, I wab tahggin’ to you, why’d you slub me?”) 2. A speech-impeded or misunderstood/misspelled besmirchment of character (“Yo mama, she a slub.”)
The only “slub” here is the chick who made it.
Where the skirt meets the bodice (I use that term loosely), it looks like she sewed it inside-out. I thought that part of the seam was supposed to be on the inside.
This…is…so sad. If this dress was a wedding, it would be the “everyone is silently thinking this isn’t going to last but we showed up to choke down free food” kind of wedding. This makes me sad.
Eeek, IScream…it does look potpourri scented!!
#33 – The last time I checked, a crepe was a tasty pastry.
At first glance I thought those were gold-plated roaches on her shoulder. (And my next thought was “least they aren’t human ivory”) But if I wanted to get married with insects on my dress I’d just have the ceremony in the closest Pilot Travel Center’s bathroom. This dress is one hot mess.
Anytime I see a poorly put together, trying to be fresh and “stunning” piece of junk, I’m going to think: “Oh, now that’s just slub.”
“Cotton dish cloth skirting artfully combined with hand knit dish cloth bodice and embellished with pot scrubber strap…GORGEOUS!! What all of the IN housewives-to-be are wearing!”
But, hey at least it’s cheap at $3! Oh, wait….
Finally, a dress that lets the bride say, “Oh, this old thing?”
It actually manages to be uglier than the prom dress in Pretty in Pink.
#49 UnaBee : Have to agree. I just love the word “slub.” Lub it like slub.
She says she started her business with a loan from Prince Charles trust. Why thank you Charles.
$300 for this?? If my mom saw something like this, she’d hang it on the wall above the piano.
Dear lord I just noticed the price. Too distracted by those horrible doilyflies. I wonder if she’s charging by weight. What’s the cost per ounce of slub these days?
For only $300 you can have the wedding dress of your seams! Er, dreams.
#47 Unabee, what food do you think they’d serve at this wedding? chocolate covered bacon hors-d’ouvres?
(and…it SOLD? WTF?
looks like my best effort at costuming for our high school production of “a funny thing happened on the way to the forum” and trust when i say that my best effort involved duct tape at the back.
That is the funniest thing I’ve ever heard!
You guys were right–the Gyros venue really adds to the pathos:
A GOLD BRAID BELT TRIM WITH ADDITION BLOOMS OMG
Oh dear. Can I claw my eyeballs out now please?
I sew. I sew a lot. If I made something like this I’d have to kill myself, not vomit it onto the web…
Actually Vox (#57) I’m starting to think they’d serve hummus at this wedding, what with all the gyro waitress references- and they’d serve it on one of these:
@#60 ISUS: LMFAO! You guys are killing me today!
I lost my virginity in that same dress!
@#64 Craiggers: So that stain isn’t yogurt sauce?
$300 to look fat, lumpy and frumpy on my wedding day? What a bargain. Plus I can save on the photographer because there is no way I’d be photographed wearing a plastic flower arrangement that was drug out of my grandmother’s garage.
What girl hasn’t dreamed of looking like a dumpy, frumpy, cheap fairy on her wedding day? I know I sure have.
Hidden due to low comment rating. Click here to see.
Ok, what’s wrong with this listing? This is more than decently made, the pictures are adequate, there are no grievous spelling mistakes or annoying descriptions. The worst thing one could truthfully say about this is the model looks unenthusiastic, and the dress could be thought of as mediocre. Helen gets hundreds of submissions of bad crafts, and this is what’s posted? NOTHING about this is Regretsy-worthy and I mean that in a good way. I have actual crap in my shop, just look at my avatar.
#68 hidden… please don’t take this the wrong way, but that listing is freaking me out!
Wonder if the fairy poacher is looking for a wedding dress?????
My four year old just saw this and asked “How come she’s not wearing her dress upside down?” I bet it would look better that way.
Over under sideways ,inside out or upside down , there is no upside to this slubby fruit salad abomination ,jmhao
Christ, what an ugly dress.
This dress received 12 hearts. Time to throw myself in front of a slub….I mean bus…….
#69: The knitting would take maybe 10 bucks of wool tops and is hastilly knitted on oversized needles. The voile is unhemmed and gathered roughly with a very poor waist seam and tatty edges that would take maybe an hour to put together and cost about 20 bucks tops for the fabric. The flowers are passable, but also inexpensive, but the lace is like offcut afterthought thrown on the bodice, and probably about 5 bucks worth. So 50 bucks tops to make with no skill. What’s not to regretsy?
#38 blondeweezie – what I find sad is the mention of the “U.K. designer” like that in itself will make it seem so chic and better to us Americans. (well strictly speaking I am Canadian but like you all give a damn about that little distinction – was this about me?)
Suda – way to mess up the kids LOL
She appears to be pregnant, and she’s almost barefoot, so we can hope she’ll be posted on POWM soon after the nuptuals, getching Cheez Doodles and Fanta for the reception.
Um, “fetching”, even.
“Beautiful,stunning and unique” – a very powerful statement. Too bad it has no relation to the dress pictured.
@#74 SD: I gave it a heart in hopes of getting free fried zucchini.
@hidden -guess you haven’t seen our past snarky commentaries for other posts on regretsy…
it may not be poorly sewn, but this dress may have been chosen for all or any of the following:
1- looks like a fairy/hippy thing that no real adult would wear, especially not to a wedding
2-the model looks less than thrilled
3-the price is beyond ridiculous
4-the description is annoying
these are just a few of the reasons why this item most likely made it to regretsy
Skully – did u buy the foil cards?…*nudge nudge*
Raz you forgot to say AND she was not angling to be ON regretsy
#80- raz I think you’re wrong.
About it not being poorly sewn.
All the other stuff I agree with.
#68- hidden (ironically, hidden)-
I will be double fisting Hostess Snowballs in your honor.
nice chainmail bodice. do you expect orcs at your wedding?
Perfect- only if your wedding day is April 1st.
Okay. This isn’t my cup of tea (lol – tea? She’s british? Funny, right? Ha ha! No?).
HOWEVER – if my only choices were this, and some frothy white, tulle-acetate nightmare from Brides-R-Us that people seem to favor, well, I’d proudly wear this to my wedding. No contest. I’ll take unique and ugly any day.
That being said – y’all are flipping hilarious! Great commenting / photoshoppe skilz!
This is actually really pretty…..for a 6 year old playing dress up…maybe a fairy in a school play….
NOT IN ANY WAY SHAPE OR FORM FOR A WEDDING DRESS GOOD GOD.
Wait now I get it. This is a Matrix themed wedding dress.
(For those who don’t get that, the “unplugged people all wore tattered sweaters and what not..)
even matrix tatt was sexy, though.
That girl is actually kind of cute. I wonder how they got her to put on that “dress.”
she had a bet with Peaches N’ Cream Barbie over the dress, and she was the loser :0(
If you took away the flowers, the lace thing, and the fact that it looks like it’s inside out, it wouldn’t look TOO bad. But $600?! That dress is worth $50, max.
“Raw dedge” is apparently a typo for “raw edge”–in other words, for $300, she can’t even be bothered to hem the thing. I’m not even convinced that there *is* a seam between the “bodice” and the “skirt.” I think she just knitted a tank top and then wrapped a length of fabric around her waist and secured it with a piece of gold trim. Which would be creative and cute as a little kid’s dress-up costume, or maybe even a Halloween costume for an adult, but for a *wedding dress*?…
Beautiful?! Stunning?! Really?! Who the FUCK would wear this?!
hey who thumbs downed me you thumbsdowner?
Good thing she pointed out that GOLD BRAID BELT TRIM WITH ADDITIONAL BLOOMS IN ALL CAPS. Otherwise I wouldn’t have noticed the gaudy artificial flowers and the shoddy seam where “bodice” meets peaches and cream “skirt.”
Whew! Crisis averted.
Remind me never to buy a wedding dress where the description includes the terms “slub” and “raw dege”.
I mean really, doesn’t that just conjures up a vision of etheral beauty?
Poor dear. She looks embarrassed to be wearing that crap or else she has an apple fairy wand up her whatsit,
What’s with the gold cockroaches?
The model looks embarrassed to be seen in that dress, not usually a good sign. It’s is horrible dress
I’ll damn her with faint praise for not calling this some sort of faerie fuckery, but that’s about it.
Nothing like a dress that can take a lovely girl with a perfectly decent figure and make her look like a total frump. She looks like she rolled in a rag bin.
#24 – raz – Nope, I think even Tink and Peter would draw the line at this. And they don’t draw the line at much: http://pixyland.org/peterpan/updatenews.html#051
What’s up with the cockroaches?
She didn’t even mention the gold cockroaches on the strap!
Aside from her omitting that unique selling feature, all I can think of when I look at this is “MacArthur Park”.
Someone left the cake out in the rain………
Yeah, I don’t know what that means.
As for the rest of you, know that with every thumbs-down, you’re all playing into my sardonic plans.
I see a runaway groom in the future……
Ack NightCowl! I hate that song so very, very much! It totally fits, tho!
wonder what boyfriend would do if I said this is the dress I want wear at our wedding?
somehow I think that would be the last I ever saw of him…
Why is the model so cranky looking in all these items? She’s modeling pure fashion. She could at least grin.
And the best part is you can shorten it and wear it again
It looks like she took all the garbage out of her Granny’s closet and made this dress from it.
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