Profits from Regretsy merchandise are used to hire Etsy artists to create handmade products for various charities, or to directly benefit Etsy sellers in need.

All revenue generated by Regretsy.com is donated to charitable works. See our Charity page for complete information.

Money raised to date for all projects: $10,057.00

Click here to visit our Zazzle store

Amazon.com
Barnes & Noble
Borders
IndieBound
RandomHouse.com
and other retailers

BREAKING FUCKERY

Posted by Helen Killer

62 comments

Oh God, I am so, so conflicted,

Someone just sent me an email saying they saw these freshly posted on Etsy.

YouTube video of Dennis Hopper in action

Pantswetting video of this toy in motion

I am sick. Really sick about this, because as you know, the last one of these he posted, the Bill Nighy one, I bought immediately, before even posting it here. And My Paypal finger is itchy like you wouldn’t believe right now. I want these so badly.

But I am going to let someone else have a shot at this. I think I have to. It’s only fair.

But mark my words, if these aren’t sold by the end of the day, they’re going right on the counter over there, and you can all kiss my ass.

Filed in Toys, Whimsicle Fuckery 62 comments

62 Comments

Add Comment

Feb 9, 2010
10:59 am

#1 reqbat :

HK i’m concerned there’s a gas leak at your place. ARE YOU OK? IS THE CALL COMING FROM INSIDE THE HOUSE? ARE YOU HIGH?

Rate this comment: +32

Feb 9, 2010
10:59 am

#2 ThisJustMakesMeSad :

Hidden due to low comment rating. Click here to see.

Rate this comment: -62

Feb 9, 2010
11:00 am

#3 Dynomoose :

Aw man, why when I’m broke?

Rate this comment: +10

Feb 9, 2010
11:01 am

#4 Dynomoose :

This guy is SO good with the polymer clay sculpting. He doesn’t even have to name these things to know that they’re Dennis Hopper and Conan O’Brien.

Rate this comment: +34

Feb 9, 2010
11:02 am

#5 bumKittens :

“Only I may dance” -Conan’s cameo on The Simpsons

Rate this comment: +16

Feb 9, 2010
11:03 am

#6 TheOldGuy :

Imagine the 32nd C archeologist unearthing a collapsed Ikea shelf and these are underneath…

Rate this comment: +78

Feb 9, 2010
11:03 am

#7 whyohwhy :

super amazing!! i’d totally buy if i had extra toy money right now too.

Rate this comment: +5

Feb 9, 2010
11:04 am

#8 bumKittens :

#6 TheOldGuy: Brilliant!

Rate this comment: +6

Feb 9, 2010
11:06 am

#9 Recovering Crack Baby :

Go ahead push that button. I think COCO would want you to have this. Conan is way better then that Jay Leno shit and he had a mittens. I sure hope he comes back this fall with something that’ll knock em dead.

Rate this comment: +18

Feb 9, 2010
11:06 am

#10 IscreamUscream :

@TheOldGuy

…once unearthed, they start jumping around!

Rate this comment: +10

Feb 9, 2010
11:07 am

#11 sudabaki© :

Just have Ann Winchell buy them. No guilt.

Rate this comment: +61

Feb 9, 2010
11:08 am

#12 Recovering Crack Baby :

Helen, April & Ann- can I come over to play? You can come over if your Manager say’s it is OK- don’t worry my Daddy will drive.

Rate this comment: +4

Feb 9, 2010
11:10 am

#13 Skully :

John’s work is simply amazing, I’m sure these will be sold by the end of day.

HK, do you have enough whimsicle fuckery for a Regretsy museum?

Rate this comment: +38

Feb 9, 2010
11:11 am

#14 WrathOfFoamy :

Hidden due to low comment rating. Click here to see.

Rate this comment: -8

Feb 9, 2010
11:12 am

#15 HelenaHandbasket :

They are calling you to complete the Army. One of us, one of us, one of us……

Rate this comment: +33

Feb 9, 2010
11:12 am

#16 pantsmonkey :

Oh my God, I would kill for the Conan. Alas, I have not seen a paycheck since October. I am well and truly broke-assed, which means my Conan will be going home with some other floozy.

Rate this comment: +27

Feb 9, 2010
11:13 am

#17 Recovering Crack Baby :

SKULLY- maybe you could come over and play at Helen, April and Ann’s house. We could just take her all of our Fuckery and have a slumber party. If we get scared or scarred my Dad will come and get us.

Rate this comment: +3

Feb 9, 2010
11:14 am

#18 sudabaki© :

He really is amazing. I couldn’t sculpt my way out of a paper bag. Putting them on a windup body just takes it to the next level. I mean what does go well with a tiny well sculpted celebrity head?

Rate this comment: +29

Feb 9, 2010
11:14 am

#19 moi :

I don’t get the whole mechanical thing with these, but the sculpting is really good. Its a weird idea, but a well done weird idea. maybe.

Rate this comment: +3

Feb 9, 2010
11:15 am

#20 Recovering Crack Baby :

Helen, Ann, April and some other Floozy- have you bought these fucker’s yet? Hurry Up before he posts an Al Green one. Christ.

Rate this comment: +8

Feb 9, 2010
11:16 am

#21 IscreamUscream :

If you consider the care put into sculpting these–the price is a bargain.

Too bad I’m not buying right now–I’d get Hopper in a heartbeat.

Rate this comment: +12

Feb 9, 2010
11:16 am

#22 schinders :

i am sorely tempted

Rate this comment: +2

Feb 9, 2010
11:19 am

#23 Skully :

@#17 RCB: Can we make smores? If so, count me in.

Rate this comment: +6

Feb 9, 2010
11:20 am

#24 Recovering Crack Baby :

Wouldn’t a tiny guillotine be cute sitting right next to them.

Rate this comment: +11

Feb 9, 2010
11:21 am

#25 Recovering Crack Baby :

#23- I will bring the sharpened sticks and I think we may have enough throw aways from regretsy to make us a good Smore’s fire.

Rate this comment: +2

Feb 9, 2010
11:24 am

#26 blondeweezie :

I WANT THE COCO. But alas, I maxed out my credit card yesterday. >:(
I guess I’ll just have to wait for the David Letterman or the Craig Ferguson.

Rate this comment: +4

Feb 9, 2010
11:31 am

#27 Patty has been abuducted by an alien :

Mother’s Day is too far off for me to justify this as an early gift. Dammit.

blondeweezie- How about Jon Stewart and Stephen Colbert? That’s who I’d like to see.

Rate this comment: +10

Feb 9, 2010
11:47 am

#28 Sculptor69 :

dammit!!! Coco sold! I’ve got to make sure i get these updates sooner. I am soooo bummed right now.

Rate this comment: +3

Feb 9, 2010
11:47 am

#29 Sculptor69 :

Hopper sold too, FWIW.

Rate this comment: +3

Feb 9, 2010
12:00 pm

#30 lilprincess :

That Coco video is super awesome. But am I correct the other one is a Hopper hopper?

Rate this comment: +14

Feb 9, 2010
12:01 pm

#31 razberries :

conan was my favorite, and i loved the dancing…so freakin’ funny- especially w/ his theme song…killer, did you break down and buy them?

Rate this comment: +8

Feb 9, 2010
12:05 pm

#32 Helen Killer :

@ #31, No, I said I’d wait and I didn’t cheat. The same person bought both of them – just saw their comment on Facebook. I’m sick about it.

Rate this comment: +18

Feb 9, 2010
12:07 pm

#33 razberries :

awww…sorry to hear that! i wonder who also won that adorable plush conan on ebay- that was pretty cool, too!

Rate this comment: +6

Feb 9, 2010
12:16 pm

#34 googlyfuck :

Robo Coco makes me smile, I must admit.

Rate this comment: +6

Feb 9, 2010
12:24 pm

#35 Wilma Fingerdoo :

I hope they found a good home. They are lovely and I would love to have one too.
Maybe I could just feed the kids toasty o’s for the week.

Rate this comment: +2

Feb 9, 2010
12:26 pm

#36 methuselah :

Larriva’s windups are so awe-inspiring that I forget to look at the rest of his work. His paintings are beautiful! His graphic work is great too.

This would make an excellent Valentine gift:
http://www.etsy.com/view_listing.php?listing_id=38517203

Rate this comment: +11

Feb 9, 2010
12:38 pm

#37 SunshineSanctuary :

I’m sorry I was late to this party. Oh well, I didn’t want that adorable COCO anyway, his hair was MUCH too bouffant, and that string dance was CLEARLY missing strings!

(Now pardon me while I go nurse my sadness with another type of sour grape…)

Rate this comment: +6

Feb 9, 2010
12:58 pm

#38 MarleeMcCool :

I can’t help it, these disturb me to no end. Maybe that’s the attraction? But yes, they are skillful sculpted.

Rate this comment: +6

Feb 9, 2010
1:05 pm

#39 buhbyebirdie :

I think you really need them. I mean, they’re a set. You don’t want to split them up, do you? They’re brothers! Or something.

Rate this comment: +7

Feb 9, 2010
1:33 pm

#40 Skully :

@#36 Meth: Agreed, all of John Larriva’s work is MFing amazing, makes one wonder what he could do with cardboard, string, and foil.

Rate this comment: +16

Feb 9, 2010
2:53 pm

#41 batontwirler1 :

I’d like to see Craig Ferguson – but he’s already pretty hyper.

Rate this comment: +1

Feb 9, 2010
2:57 pm

#42 starrydreams :

Creepy. Creepy. Creepy. No way I am sleeping tonight….

What about Sarah Palin??

Rate this comment: +5

Feb 9, 2010
3:50 pm

#43 JustJon :

This guy is absolutely amazing. I love him so!

Rate this comment: +4

Feb 9, 2010
3:57 pm

#44 hidden due to low comment rating :

These things are ridiculously good! WTF, yes. Poorly made? heck no!

Rate this comment: +9

Feb 9, 2010
4:01 pm

#45 raven :

I want!!! But they keep selling out. Grrrr

Rate this comment: +2

Feb 9, 2010
4:33 pm

#46 Vile & Evil Debbie Downer :

It wasn’t revealed in the listing, but the Dennis Hopper Hopper screams, “Heineken?! Fuck that shit! PABST BLUE RIBBON!” as it hops about.

Rate this comment: +12

Feb 9, 2010
4:36 pm

#47 detroit :

At only $65 – I think these are a great investment in true art. They can only appreciate in value over the years. I see this artist going places in the future. But, even if he / she doesn’t become well known, these particular items stand on their own (or hop around on their own – as the case may be).

Genius!

Rate this comment: +3

Feb 9, 2010
5:02 pm

#48 mtopia :

Helen, I am so sorry for your loss. If I had some tinfoil and string, I would make you a card.

Rate this comment: +10

Feb 9, 2010
5:04 pm

#49 Thistle :

dammit, i want one of these!

Rate this comment: 0

Feb 9, 2010
5:27 pm

#50 Vile & Evil Debbie Downer :

Hey, wait a minute. You’re slipping some of the awesome stuff in, aren’t you Helen.

IT’S LIKE I DON’T KNOW WHO YOU ARE ANYMORE.

Rate this comment: +16

Feb 9, 2010
6:42 pm

#51 Helen Killer :

@ #44, not everything here is poorly made!

Rate this comment: +7

Feb 9, 2010
7:07 pm

#52 littykidder :

Okay , they are well made but I can’t look at them without my skin crawling.

Rate this comment: +3

Feb 9, 2010
7:14 pm

#53 HomeAlone :

Not for lack of appreciation of the artistic skillfulness factor, but these things give me some creepy flashbacks to a weird looking, scowling, androgynous, wood-faced puppet named Casey on a kids TV show when I small enough to have the shit scared out of me every time Mr. Dress-Up came on with that demonic little friend of his. I had recurring nightmares about that pickle-nosed doll and nearly crapped my sweatpants when I saw the Bill Nighy jumping head a couple weeks ago. **shiver**

Rate this comment: +3

Feb 9, 2010
7:16 pm

#54 creepydolls :

Those are great.

I want to see a video of a bunch of them hopping around all at once. I like to go to Target and make all the baby dolls cry or the singing dolls sing- I wanna see these all hop!

Rate this comment: +3

Feb 9, 2010
7:31 pm

#55 Ptycho :

I don’t know if I’m the emailer you’re talking about, but yea. Last night I was on regretsy really late, and went over to etsy just for shiz ‘n giggles. Really, this was so crazy, I thought maybe I had fallen asleep in my post 2am internet daze, and dreampt it all up. But apparently I didn’t. Sometimes dreams do come true.

Rate this comment: +2

Feb 9, 2010
9:21 pm

#56 clitty's got claws :

They are excellently made and all, but those things still scare the shit out of me.

Rate this comment: +2

Feb 9, 2010
11:17 pm

#57 Recovering Crack Baby :

wonder if he would do that fucking cat.

Rate this comment: +3

Feb 9, 2010
11:19 pm

#58 Recovering Crack Baby :

I always call it that fucking cat- Helen could we have a contest to name that fucking cat- he/she needs a name. I am convinced some pretty fucking good names will be thrown at yah.

Rate this comment: +1

Feb 10, 2010
12:43 am

#59 JustJon :

If he makes a Christopher Walken one, I am SO FUCKING JUMPING ON THAT MOTHER.

Rate this comment: +9

Feb 10, 2010
1:32 am

#60 PinwheelPeeWee :

Ooh! Ooh! I got dibs if he makes a Zombie Michael Jackson one!

Rate this comment: -2

Feb 10, 2010
10:46 am

#61 MAG :

I’m thinking of getting one of these and having it as a surprise for my little guy…imagine him seeing it when he wakes up in the middle of the night hopping toward him!

Rate this comment: +2

Feb 10, 2010
11:48 am

#62 Danorz :

i wonder how much he’d charge to make an april winchell one.

Rate this comment: +4