104

Aluminum Fail

Do to the fact that this is a piece of crap, I am enclosing sseveral additional pieces of crap at no extra cost. However I’m keeping the clipboard and the Wonderbread bag.

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104 comments on Aluminum Fail

  1. WrathOfFoamy
    February 9, 2010 at 9:34 am

    wow, that’s great… Nothing says “I love you” like poorly made garbage

    Thumb up Thumb down +46

  2. CTP
    February 9, 2010 at 9:35 am

    There’s nothing like a beautiful heartfelt gift…and this really is nothing like a beautiful heartfelt gift

    Thumb up Thumb down +110

  3. WrathOfFoamy
    February 9, 2010 at 9:35 am

    ‘scuse me… Cheap, poorly made garbage with mistakes…

    How do you fuck up such a crappy craft?

    Thumb up Thumb down +37

  4. CTP
    February 9, 2010 at 9:35 am

    great minds, eh Wrath? lol

    Thumb up Thumb down +8

  5. DucksNew
    February 9, 2010 at 9:35 am

    When you care enough to send the very worst

    Thumb up Thumb down +82

  6. IscreamUscream
    February 9, 2010 at 9:37 am

    This conveys my sentiments exactly–to Wall St. bankers. Price is right too.

    Thumb up Thumb down +25

  7. Orlana
    February 9, 2010 at 9:38 am

    This is really facepalm worthy.

    Thumb up Thumb down +16

  8. denisewalks
    February 9, 2010 at 9:39 am

    I didn’t know my 6 year old had an Etsy account!

    Thumb up Thumb down +62

  9. Skully
    February 9, 2010 at 9:40 am

    Message inside card reads: Dear Valentine, I want to Reynolds Wrap my arms around you.

    Thumb up Thumb down +129

  10. geekerella
    February 9, 2010 at 9:41 am

    I love her beaded items – too bad I’ve already got stuff filling up my window seals.

    Thumb up Thumb down +13

  11. jeffreyrcarey
    February 9, 2010 at 9:42 am

    The free items include the skin of the potato that was baked in this foil last week.

    Thumb up Thumb down +82

  12. sudabaki©
    February 9, 2010 at 9:42 am

    At least the price is right, 32 1/2 cents per envelope.

    Thumb up Thumb down +19

  13. Vile & Evil Debbie Downer
    February 9, 2010 at 9:43 am

    Funny…I wrap my hearts in foil, too.

    Except the ones I put up in the freezer. Those get butcher paper, THEN foil.

    Thumb up Thumb down +42

  14. Sharon Dixon-Parks
    February 9, 2010 at 9:45 am

    Also Available:
    Wax Lips wrapped in a Cream Cheese foil
    Heart Box decoupaged with a Wendy’s wrapper

    Thumb up Thumb down +29

  15. bootsychoo
    February 9, 2010 at 9:45 am

    This is sad.
    Sure, it’s still crap, but sad, sad crap.

    Thumb up Thumb down +35

  16. kittyofassisi
    February 9, 2010 at 9:49 am

    Hidden due to low comment rating. Click here to see.

    Thumb up Thumb down -33

  17. Recovering Crack Baby
    February 9, 2010 at 9:51 am

    I do want this for a pair of rabbit ears for my friend’s TV. Nothing says love like a card that will let them ssee “My Name is Earl” more clearly.
    OOOHHHHH- I hope the free gift is a sharpie.

    Thumb up Thumb down +21

  18. Skully
    February 9, 2010 at 9:52 am

    HK, LOL @ Aluminum Fail.

    This VD, I’ll spend the extra $.34 for something nice from the $.99 store.

    Thumb up Thumb down +24

  19. Kimmer-G
    February 9, 2010 at 9:52 am

    #9 Skully – (from previous post) I understand. I wouldn’t want to piss off Mrs. Skully either!! I’ll just have to settle for Mittens I guess…

    Suda? Pass the tissue!

    Thumb up Thumb down +6

  20. TheOwlAndTheBunny
    February 9, 2010 at 9:52 am

    this is obviously an exploitation of child labor.

    Thumb up Thumb down +26

  21. blondeweezie
    February 9, 2010 at 9:52 am

    Look at it this way: at least the people in the asylum are making money.

    Thumb up Thumb down +8

  22. silentmouth
    February 9, 2010 at 9:52 am

    These are on sale because I accidentally glued a piece of string and some tin foil on them and my kid wrote on them with marker while I was checking the stove but they are in otherwise perfect condition.

    Thumb up Thumb down +34

  23. sudabaki©
    February 9, 2010 at 9:53 am

    #16 The link takes me to a place to register as a seller.

    #15 bootsychoo: I almost feel bad about mocking this item.

    Thumb up Thumb down +9

  24. kittyofassisi
    February 9, 2010 at 9:53 am
  25. Recovering Crack Baby
    February 9, 2010 at 9:54 am

    #14- Would that be the super triple deluxe wrapper or just the Jr. I wanna go big here- LMK

    Thumb up Thumb down +5

  26. leftfoot
    February 9, 2010 at 9:54 am

    When making my own, can I use the foil that I use to line my pans when I make spicy wings? The “free item” is the wonderful flavor!

    Thumb up Thumb down +7

  27. voxwoman
    February 9, 2010 at 9:54 am

    that shop just made me sad. That stuff is either from a young child with inadequate supervision, or a special needs adult, who also isn’t getting adequate supervision.

    Thumb up Thumb down +34

  28. Gray
    February 9, 2010 at 9:55 am

    Two things I love about this seller:

    1) Everything is described as “beautiful” in the title, and
    2) Everything is 65 cents!

    That said, I don’t think any of it is worth $1.65 including shipping…

    Thumb up Thumb down +12

  29. blondeweezie
    February 9, 2010 at 9:55 am
  30. voxwoman
    February 9, 2010 at 9:57 am

    #24 Kitty! Did you embroider that yourself? It’s so wonderful!

    Thumb up Thumb down +9

  31. Recovering Crack Baby
    February 9, 2010 at 9:58 am

    “One 5 by 6 card multicolored red and lime green will be the preffect Christmas card for anyone.”

    From the stickered- glittered- holiday card. Does anyone want to guess what their preeffect may be?

    Thumb up Thumb down +12

  32. henmen
    February 9, 2010 at 10:00 am

    “Say it with FOIL”

    Thumb up Thumb down +17

  33. blondeweezie
    February 9, 2010 at 10:03 am

    #31 henmen :
    “Say it with FOIL”

    They certainly did: it said “I don’t give a f*ck.”

    Thumb up Thumb down +16

  34. photorelativity
    February 9, 2010 at 10:04 am

    Poke fun if you must but her items are beautiful.
    She says so herself in the titles.

    Thumb up Thumb down +31

  35. WrathOfFoamy
    February 9, 2010 at 10:04 am

    Holy shit, I remember these crappy craft supplies!!
    http://www.etsy.com/view_listing.php?listing_id=32857544
    I grew out of them when I was like 7 and realised how easy and therefore boring this kind of crap is… Why would anyone sell these? Seriously.

    Thumb up Thumb down +14

  36. bootsychoo
    February 9, 2010 at 10:05 am

    #23 sudabaki: I know. I mean, it kinda mocks itself.

    Thumb up Thumb down +8

  37. WrathOfFoamy
    February 9, 2010 at 10:06 am

    #33
    If that works and I say I’m beautiful, does that mean I get to be a super model?

    Thumb up Thumb down +12

  38. Gray
    February 9, 2010 at 10:13 am

    #35: But they’re beautiful! It says so in the title.

    Thumb up Thumb down +9

  39. Recovering Crack Baby
    February 9, 2010 at 10:14 am

    #36- if you wrapped your entire self in foil and showed us all the pic.Title it beautiful and remeber to be extra careful not to stick a dick in any of it. I would at least think you were a sssssuper model.

    Thumb up Thumb down +6

  40. Moons in Leo
    February 9, 2010 at 10:14 am

    I need to believe this etsy seller is doing this just for the regretsy exposure. Yes, I must. I cannot continue to live in a world where this isn’t meant as a joke.

    Thumb up Thumb down +13

  41. HelenaHandbasket
    February 9, 2010 at 10:15 am

    How does she lower the cost by a small fee of sseveral small free items?

    Can I have her refigure my taxes?

    Thumb up Thumb down +16

  42. Skully
    February 9, 2010 at 10:15 am
  43. photorelativity
    February 9, 2010 at 10:17 am

    #36 Until someone tells you otherwise!

    Thumb up Thumb down +3

  44. IscreamUscream
    February 9, 2010 at 10:17 am

    @Skully :lol:

    Thumb up Thumb down +10

  45. Flamingo
    February 9, 2010 at 10:27 am

    #8 I was thinking the same but about my 8 yo son.

    Thumb up Thumb down +3

  46. WrathOfFoamy
    February 9, 2010 at 10:29 am

    Hidden due to low comment rating. Click here to see.

    Thumb up Thumb down -12

  47. Chrisnyc1213
    February 9, 2010 at 10:30 am

    It’s too bad she ruined what was surely hours and hours of work with that errant pen mark, instead of balling it up and starting over again.

    Thumb up Thumb down +14

  48. WrathOfFoamy
    February 9, 2010 at 10:31 am

    Guess I could’ve left the nipples, instead of painting on blue pasties, but there ‘ya go!

    Hey, trust me, it’s tough finding anything decent when googling “girl in tinfoil”

    Thumb up Thumb down +2

  49. ciaohowdy
    February 9, 2010 at 10:31 am

    Oo, this is so bad, I’m not sure its fair to comment on it. Oh well.

    You KNOW there’s a sweat shop of tiny hands somewhere in the Midwest masquerading as a “preschool”. “Get back to work Timmy!” “Please teacher, can’t I have a sip of water?” “No! Get back to making your whimsicle crappy Valentine’s!” >cracks whip<

    Thumb up Thumb down +19

  50. sudabaki©
    February 9, 2010 at 10:32 am

    Thumb up Thumb down +22

  51. Kimmer-G
    February 9, 2010 at 10:35 am

    hahahaha!! hate you?! I frickin love you! shoulda asked you to be my Valenturd ;) that is just way too awesomesauce.

    Thumb up Thumb down +15

  52. sudabaki©
    February 9, 2010 at 10:39 am

    #49 Kimmer-G :

    It lreaks my sheart not to be your valenturd but still I won’t charge you .65 cents.

    Thumb up Thumb down +17

  53. madamedefarge
    February 9, 2010 at 10:43 am

    The promise of freebies will lure anyone… she sold the dang Reynolds wrap.

    Thumb up Thumb down +8

  54. sudabaki©
    February 9, 2010 at 10:45 am

    #51 madamedefarge:

    Another shop benefits from being featured on Regretsy.

    Thumb up Thumb down +11

  55. Eruanna
    February 9, 2010 at 10:50 am

    IT SOLD?

    Thumb up Thumb down +13

  56. methuselah
    February 9, 2010 at 10:52 am

    @ #27 voxwoman: I agree, this shop is very sad. I imagine her backstory to be that she lost her job and has no money or craft skills but has friends who sell on Etsy, and she got talked into trying it. It would explain the total lack of craftsmanship from her shop design and wares to her listings and pricing, all extremely sad. It appears she lives in the vicinity of Arkansas, which also fits the narrative. Frankly her shop makes me want to cry.

    Thumb up Thumb down +19

  57. MinnePurl
    February 9, 2010 at 10:52 am

    it. sold?

    Excuse me, I need to go fortify my umbrella before amphibians start falling from the sky.

    Thumb up Thumb down +20

  58. blondeweezie
    February 9, 2010 at 10:53 am

    #55 MinnePurl :
    it. sold?

    Excuse me, I need to go fortify my umbrella before amphibians start falling from the sky.

    I bet the devil is wearing ice skates today.

    Thumb up Thumb down +14

  59. ThisJustMakesMeSad
    February 9, 2010 at 11:03 am

    Hey, I think I have that exact same silver stuff jammed in my kitchen drawer. Only less crumplier. Mine’s in a box, yo!

    Again some talented sharpie art, woo hoo! Long live the sharpie.

    Thumb up Thumb down +11

  60. razberries
    February 9, 2010 at 11:11 am

    I leave for a couple hours and come home to this fuckery…I cannot believe those things sold! The funny thing is after etsy fees and paypal fees and shipping, what is the seller really left with???
    Skully that photoshop was phenomenal…LOL
    and sudabaki i am jealous, i thought i was your valenturd? LOL

    Thumb up Thumb down +14

  61. ThisJustMakesMeSad
    February 9, 2010 at 11:15 am

    After looking at the entire shop very closely I am convinced… no,no.. I am REALLY HOPING the seller is a young child or an adult that is a bit ‘slow’ (I’m NOT trying to be mean here, seriously, I’m trying to be somewhat politically correct without coming across as preachy).

    Cuz it would really suck if we were making fun of a child or a mentally retarded adult. Like, REALLY mean. And that shit ain’t cool.

    Thumb up Thumb down +18

  62. evacooper
    February 9, 2010 at 11:16 am

    how does this even make money?

    Thumb up Thumb down +7

  63. evacooper
    February 9, 2010 at 11:18 am

    among her other items is a yellow star of david… just what you need…

    Thumb up Thumb down +3

  64. denisewalks
    February 9, 2010 at 11:22 am

    #61 no shit. If that ends up being the case, I may buy out the inventory out of guilt.

    Thumb up Thumb down +4

  65. StinkBait
    February 9, 2010 at 11:22 am

    How much is she asking for the clipbord?

    Thumb up Thumb down +4

  66. Helen Killer
    February 9, 2010 at 11:24 am

    Can I make a suggestion?

    Let’s not start second guessing people’s emotional/economical/mental states to figure out if it’s okay to make fun of their shitty crafts. Seriously, that’s a big fun-sucker.

    If a profile gives enough information and it’s clear that they have an issue, I stay away from them.

    Thumb up Thumb down +49

  67. Ladybug
    February 9, 2010 at 12:07 pm

    FAILMARK: When you care enough to send the very least…

    Thumb up Thumb down +12

  68. angie
    February 9, 2010 at 12:19 pm

    why couldn’t I have seen this two weeks ago?!?! i had to fly to chicago to give several demonstrations on making handmade valentine’s day cards. let’s just say that nothing i did even came close to this level of skill.

    Thumb up Thumb down +6

  69. Wilma Fingerdoo
    February 9, 2010 at 12:19 pm

    #46-WrathofFoamy
    “Holy Shit, I remember these crappy craft supplies!!”

    I think they are Aqua Dots. They were pulled from the market because they contained the date rape drug, rohypnol. Might consider ordering them to take a lick or two and dream I bought a better fuckin’ craft.

    Thumb up Thumb down +7

  70. IscreamUscream
    February 9, 2010 at 12:26 pm

    @HK–good suggestion.
    I won’t make it personal–I’ll just call it crap. :lol:

    Thumb up Thumb down +8

  71. SuperSnark
    February 9, 2010 at 12:46 pm

    The perfect card to send-if you WANT someone to break up with you !

    Thumb up Thumb down +5

  72. buhbyebirdie
    February 9, 2010 at 1:02 pm

    You know, my high school art class made something similar to this! We drew a simple pencil sketch, then used white glue to make a big raised outline of the drawing, then we covered with foil, then we spray painted it and rubbed it around a little to make it look “weathered.” We then folded it in half and put construction paper inside.

    I tell you that story so that I can tell you with 100% certainty that every single one of them was better than this.

    Thumb up Thumb down +11

  73. Feel Free To Customise and Whimsiclise My Vagina
    February 9, 2010 at 1:24 pm

    oh fuck me

    are you sure a 5 yr old didnt do this?

    Thumb up Thumb down +2

  74. Feel Free To Customise and Whimsiclise My Vagina
    February 9, 2010 at 1:24 pm

    #66 Kudos helen

    Thumb up Thumb down +3

  75. lyontamer
    February 9, 2010 at 1:25 pm

    Hidden due to low comment rating. Click here to see.

    Thumb up Thumb down -12

  76. lyontamer
    February 9, 2010 at 1:28 pm

    Hidden due to low comment rating. Click here to see.

    Thumb up Thumb down -13

  77. lyontamer
    February 9, 2010 at 1:29 pm

    Hidden due to low comment rating. Click here to see.

    Thumb up Thumb down -13

  78. lyontamer
    February 9, 2010 at 1:33 pm

    Hidden due to low comment rating. Click here to see.

    Thumb up Thumb down -7

  79. lyontamer
    February 9, 2010 at 1:35 pm

    This is supposed to be a cheaper version of etching and embossing, because American public schools can’t afford to teach the real thing.

    Thumb up Thumb down -1

  80. libertyangel
    February 9, 2010 at 1:47 pm

    I thought Etsy stores were supposed to make money. I’m not sure how a gross profit of $.65 is gonna pay the rent.
    Even if it is absolute shit at least she’s charging the right amount. She could give some lessons to the embroidery lady.

    Thumb up Thumb down +10

  81. steviesegel
    February 9, 2010 at 2:08 pm

    It’s nice to know that when my son starts kindergarten I’ll be able to sell his art on Etsy :)
    (said with tongue firmly in cheek)

    Thumb up Thumb down +5

  82. whaapplewha
    February 9, 2010 at 2:44 pm

    It’s nice to see that someone isn’t buying into the whole made up “holiday” that is Valentine’s day.
    Good for them for using poop brown casrdstock instead of red or pink. And good for them for recycling the aluminum foil that their burrito came in and finding a use for that shoelace that broke in 1997.
    Nothing says “I love you” more than a hand written sentiment. And I’m sure that a little bit of whiteout will cover up the pen marks inside the one card.

    Don’t be haters,…

    Thumb up Thumb down +7

  83. whaapplewha
    February 9, 2010 at 2:44 pm

    …. ya’ll.

    Thumb up Thumb down +2

  84. whaapplewha
    February 9, 2010 at 2:46 pm

    Also, I think that it was very considerate of the sseller to ssend sseveral extra cardss. There’ss alwayss the posssiblility that you might forget ssomeone and it’ss good to have a sspare card, jusst in case.

    Thumb up Thumb down +9

  85. spiritwunion
    February 9, 2010 at 3:14 pm

    Wow. Just. Wow.

    I’m not a maker of fine things myself – though I’m not bad with a crochet hook – so it’s not often that I can literally and truthfully say that I MADE BETTER CARDS FOR MY FRIENDS IN KINDERGARTEN.

    It amazes me what people try to sell online. It really does.

    Thumb up Thumb down +5

  86. raven
    February 9, 2010 at 4:00 pm

    This is what a man should give his girlfriend if he has a DEATH WISH. OMG tacky!

    Thumb up Thumb down +3

  87. Thistle
    February 9, 2010 at 5:06 pm

    is that a heart or a kidney?

    Thumb up Thumb down +5

  88. Recovering Crack Baby
    February 9, 2010 at 6:25 pm

    OK- I did it. I bought em. My two year old made thank you’s for her b-day presents and it took for effing ever. So I thought for 1.65 she can give these to each set of grandparent’s and I don’t have to fuck around with making these and none would be the wiser.
    However, after purchasing, the payment went to The New Demensions Center and I believe Craig is the guy’s name who made these.

    Thumb up Thumb down +9

  89. SueR
    February 9, 2010 at 6:26 pm

    I have to agree with some of the earlier folks. This is just a bunch of sad.

    Thumb up Thumb down +1

  90. SueR
    February 9, 2010 at 6:28 pm

    “Craig” maps to Craig, CO.

    Thumb up Thumb down +2

  91. Recovering Crack Baby
    February 9, 2010 at 6:28 pm

    OK I spelled it wrong- this is what my PayPal said

    Feb 9, 2010 Payment To New Dimensions Center Completed

    Thumb up Thumb down +2

  92. Recovering Crack Baby
    February 9, 2010 at 6:31 pm

    #90- I am thinking Craig maps to New Dimensions Center. Either Craig did this himself and/or someone is training him in Job Skills. That someone needs their license to be looked at.

    Thumb up Thumb down +4

  93. SueR
    February 9, 2010 at 6:34 pm

    http://www.ultimatesuccesstools.com/ Way, way down at the bottom of the page it says New Dimensions Center, Craig, CO. Hmmmmm. I’m not feeling quite so bad about the mockery.

    Thumb up Thumb down +2

  94. Recovering Crack Baby
    February 9, 2010 at 6:45 pm

    I never felt bad and still do not about the mockery. #93 I will be sure to let you know what the return addy is on the pkg- if there is no return addy I will tell you where it was postmarked from.

    Thumb up Thumb down +3

  95. quantuminsanity
    February 9, 2010 at 8:26 pm

    They accidentally got pen on it… while pasting a bit of ripped up aluminium foil onto a bit of card…

    I’m going to stop now because I don’t think it’s right to mock the intellectually handicapped…

    Thumb up Thumb down +3

  96. clitty’s got claws
    February 9, 2010 at 9:08 pm

    Friends don’t let friends post listings on Etsy while they’re high.

    Thumb up Thumb down +9

  97. FrouLaLa
    February 9, 2010 at 9:15 pm

    @crack baby – please oh please let us know what the “sseveral free items” are…I can only imagine

    Thumb up Thumb down +4

  98. Recovering Crack Baby
    February 9, 2010 at 11:09 pm

    I will alert you the moment they arrive. I am not kidding you when I told you all why I bought these. Grandma- the other half’s Mother came to help make Thank You’s as my daughter just turned two a couple weeks ago. Anyhoo- it went like this- Oh hunny let me trace that little hand of yous. ME-well good let’s copy them in the Studio and get it done. HER- It would not be as cute. ME- Trying to hold a 2 yr old’s attention long ehough to scribble and trace her hand.A couple hours later- some…

    Thumb up Thumb down +2

  99. Recovering Crack Baby
    February 9, 2010 at 11:14 pm

    cont. Valium and Loratb they were done. They absolutely are thrown away by now to all who recieved- I deserved this cheat.

    Thumb up Thumb down +3

  100. PinwheelPeeWee
    February 10, 2010 at 1:50 am

    It’s the thought that counts, right?

    Even if the thought is “I’d better make this quick so I can get back to nailing your sister, and your best friend, and your sister’s best friend, and your mom, and my cousin…” o.O

    Thumb up Thumb down +1

  101. superfran
    February 10, 2010 at 11:13 am

    When I clicked over and saw they had sold, I immediately came back here to see if it was a joke. And it is. TFFT.

    Thumb up Thumb down 0

  102. twatsupcock
    February 10, 2010 at 1:19 pm

    #9 Thanks, Skully. You “foiled” my attempt at trying to find the clever words to describe this.

    Thumb up Thumb down 0

  103. mergatroid
    February 16, 2010 at 9:34 pm

    Damn. I was REEALLY hoping that New Dimensions was this:

    http://www.newdimensions.us/

    Thumb up Thumb down 0

  104. Cori Scores
    February 17, 2010 at 1:28 pm

    you’ve got to be fucking kidding me! I’m inspired. I’m gonna glue an earthworm to a piece of ppaper, and send it to your muther, and if she doesn like it i’ll lower the price, for a small fee.

    Thumb up Thumb down 0

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