Love is in the Air
I have so much love for my fellow man this morning. Don’t you? Don’t you just love the whole human race?
Me neither.
But let me tell you what I do have. I have some of the most God forsaken Esty shit bombs masquerading as Valentine’s gifts the world has ever seen. Just big piles of disappointments, all wrapped up in upcycled red ribbon.
All week long, I’ll be featuring Regretsy Valentine Gift Suggestions, sprinkled in with all the usual fuckery you’ve come to grow weary of.
Just look for the turd, and you’ll know you’re in the right place.
February 8, 2010 at 9:18 am
Holy pooper scooper Batman! Can’t wait for the Saint Valentine excrement to hit the fan!
February 8, 2010 at 9:19 am
Indeed, I DO have love for my fellow man this morning – but that’s probably leftover booze in my system from celebrating my beloved Saints victory last night.
Still, nothing says “I love you” like a carefully selected shit bomb.
February 8, 2010 at 9:22 am
Ooooh! an assload of etsy shit bombs for Valentine’s day! Thank You Helen, you just made the Holiday worthwile
February 8, 2010 at 9:28 am
Dammit, this year the spouse and I decided to blow off Valentine’s Day because its such a bullshit holiday now.
And when I agreed to it with him, I’d forgotten the gold mine of crap from etsy. Dammit! Dammit! DAMMIT!
February 8, 2010 at 9:29 am
Many of my fellow humans I actually like–but for the rest, I’ll be thinking of you when I view these Valenturds.
We should have a create-a-whimsicle-fuckery-valentine contest.
February 8, 2010 at 9:31 am
It’s past noon here but still too early for me to feel “love” for “humanity”.
February 8, 2010 at 9:33 am
YAY I need something for my DH to send me! (we always do gag valentine’s gifts since our anniversary is later in the month – the 25th)
February 8, 2010 at 9:41 am
#7 leftfoot: Careful – if it’s from Etsy, the term “gag” gift may never be so literal.
February 8, 2010 at 9:43 am
Is it possible to create a facebook gift application of Regretsy gifts? I’d love to send a virtual version of some whimsicle fuckery for St. Valentine’s Day.
February 8, 2010 at 10:14 am
#8 bootsychoo: hehe I’ve come to expect that
You know.. I’m curious why people are thumbing my previous comment down (#7). Just because we don’t put stock in V-Day? Sorry, but I’m not going to demand my husband “celebrate” a made up holiday in a falsely romantic way. (end rant)
February 8, 2010 at 10:19 am
#5 IscreamUscream: I feel another PS contest coming with that suggestion
February 8, 2010 at 10:35 am
YESS Bring it ooon!!
February 8, 2010 at 11:03 am
#2 bootsychoo – Wanna go with me to Drew Brees’ house to deliver a valentine?
February 8, 2010 at 11:08 am
Nom-chunky chocolate soft serve!
February 8, 2010 at 11:14 am
Sounds awesome HK, look forward to it! I was just wondering about something though… a while back you posted a thread which polled your readers on whether or not they wanted to see some actual Etsy talent or just crap. May I ask how that turned out? I wouldn’t mind seeing some weird-awesomely-unique creations, but maybe I’m one of a few.
February 8, 2010 at 11:19 am
Excellent! Primarily because my fiance already knows what I’m getting for Valentine’s day — now I can only hope it’s not a felted vagina.
February 8, 2010 at 11:20 am
@ #15 I got more hate mail and flouncing from that suggestion than I have since I started this thing 4 months ago.
Someone actually wrote and said, “WOW, YOU’RE NOT WHO I THOUGHT YOU WERE!”
February 8, 2010 at 11:22 am
#10: It’s probably @danielle172 and all her saggy-vagina friends.
February 8, 2010 at 11:24 am
I love holidays Regretsy style. <3
February 8, 2010 at 11:24 am
#17. Are you serious? That sucks.
Let’s have #FFF anyway just to spite them.
February 8, 2010 at 11:27 am
It’s too bad you got such sucky feedback on the idea of featuring nice stuff, since I love the idea. I think you’d find truly cool stuff, not all the hipster re-run crap that’s always on Etsy. Plus, all us snarkers would get a chance to show that we aren’t all heartless ass holes, who find something to complain about all the time… just most of the time!!
February 8, 2010 at 11:29 am
yay, i agree to a very whimsicle regretsy vday contest…count me in
February 8, 2010 at 11:29 am
That, or us who make awesome stuff, will just have to be content buying (expensive!) ads and using logos/products as our avatar! Plus the occasional pirated promo… BUY XXXLITTWEAR!!
kidding…
Seriously, buy it! I need money to pay my Etsy fees!! ; )
February 8, 2010 at 11:39 am
#13 cratz – are you kidding? I’d go with you to Drew Brees’ house to deliver a pizza!
February 8, 2010 at 11:44 am
I might be able to survive the week with the help of these new Secret Shitmirer (TM pending) gifts from Regretsy!
February 8, 2010 at 11:44 am
#24 bootsychoo dat – Come on, let’s run out to Kenner to meet the Saints’ plane. They arrive at 2, I understand. What a scene that’ll be!
February 8, 2010 at 11:47 am
Can’t wait for the Valentine crapfest! I’ve always detested that holiday anyway!
Off topic…I just signed up for this site, but I’ve been a fan of Regretsy for a while and have been following the site for quite a while now. I absolutely love it! I love how it shows the absolute crap that us real artists and crafters have to put up with.
Love you Helen Killer!
February 8, 2010 at 11:48 am
“Someone actually wrote…”
http://farm3.static.flickr.com/2748/4340914815_a692b2a0d0_o.gif
February 8, 2010 at 11:57 am
#28 IscreamUscream
Bwa ha ha ha ha ha!!!!
That’s the funniest shit!
There’s nothing like a good Regretsy style photoshop!
February 8, 2010 at 12:00 pm
#29 – The eye embiggening is nightmare-inducingly awesome!
February 8, 2010 at 12:08 pm
@ 17 HK – Wow, that’s kinda horrible and funny all rolled into one. True Regretsy style!
February 8, 2010 at 12:08 pm
Can’t wait.
)
February 8, 2010 at 12:47 pm
Valenturds….that’s funny!
February 8, 2010 at 1:46 pm
Valentines sucks and its designed for smug couples
hate them all
February 8, 2010 at 2:05 pm
Love is on the ground! I can smell for miles and miles…
February 8, 2010 at 2:20 pm
Legend has it that St. Valentine sent letters of hope and love to Christians imprisoned for their faith. February 14th ‘celebrates’ the day he was martyred.
If that’s not a good enough reason to celebrate with some whimsicle fuckery, I don’t know what is.