Heard it in a Love Song
Sometimes, when I’m “Dancing with the Stars”, I think about how you remind me of “Mr. Ed”, because baby, you are my “Top Chef”, and I thougt I’d let you know that I’m not sure what I’m talking about.
Sometimes, when I’m “Dancing with the Stars”, I think about how you remind me of “Mr. Ed”, because baby, you are my “Top Chef”, and I thougt I’d let you know that I’m not sure what I’m talking about.
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February 8, 2010 at 1:26 pm
i like helen’s better- especially the mr. ed part
February 8, 2010 at 1:28 pm
“comes with an envelope.”
It should come with a barf bag.
February 8, 2010 at 1:30 pm
Our love may be CSI, but its “BIG LOVE” I’m after. So quit the “Like A Virgin” story because its getting hot in here and you’re Ugly Betty brings the boys to the yard…
February 8, 2010 at 1:31 pm
I’m walking that stairway to heaven now. Or ribbon or whatever…
Say What?
February 8, 2010 at 1:35 pm
“Darling, your love brings ‘Law & Order’ to my life. I have to be a ‘Mythbuster’ and explain why loving you is such a ’24′ hour ‘Dirty Job’. Having you in my ‘House’ reminds me that I’m the ‘Pit Boss’ and everything you do is like an ‘Operation Repo’ on my heart and ‘The World’s Dumbest Criminal’ couldn’t change how I feel for you.”
Wow… mine sucked.
February 8, 2010 at 1:36 pm
here’s mine- dedicated to my boyfriend-
“Pardon me”
You may be the Bachelor, but I’m “Crazy For You”
When I put down the toilet seat, I feel “Beautiful” like Super Nanny
Let’s “Boom Boom Pow” tonight, cuz I love our “Bad Romance”
February 8, 2010 at 1:45 pm
Wow, a free envelope and a free typo, too! (Third line from the bottom.) Truly, this is more meaningful than my original idea of writing “i LOEV YUO” on a coffee-spattered post-it note!
February 8, 2010 at 1:52 pm
a CARD for 15 bucks?! say what?
this surely must be a typo?
http://www.etsy.com/view_listing.php?listing_id=34442984
February 8, 2010 at 1:54 pm
Nothing says lovin’ like verbal diarrhea on cheap paper…..
February 8, 2010 at 2:01 pm
February 8, 2010 at 2:01 pm
I may just be a “Bachelorette” but honey you’re my “Rock of Love.” I don’t just have “Big Love” for you because you paid for my “Nip/Tuck” I love you because you’re my “Biggest Loser.” You should “Dance your ass off” over here so we can do the “Big Bang Theory” tonight.
February 8, 2010 at 2:10 pm
You guys are a riot. I wish I had a TV now!
Raz make them into a set of cards so we can buy them!
Hey and just so you all know while you were just talking about it I am now living the dream! So mock away!
February 8, 2010 at 2:11 pm
iscream, i was thinking the same thoughts…perhaps he’s in his recording studio right now, producing his next hit
ninjagato-
February 8, 2010 at 2:12 pm
yes, our friend clever cat is living the dream…
hey there, wanna put a shameless plug over here for yourself like hemp girl? LMFAO
February 8, 2010 at 2:18 pm
Oh, this card has some magic all right. Some “Special Awesome Sauce Quotations Magic.” Highway robbery at $4.
February 8, 2010 at 2:19 pm
http://www.etsy.com/view_listing.php?ref=vl_other_2&listing_id=34442327
And, now. To my mom…
Mom, you were there when I nearly crashed the car and you yelled at me.
Mom, you were there when I ripped my prom dress trying to get away from a rabid wolf.
Mom, you were there when I got divorced, and you called me “Meshuginah”. ( And you’ve never let me forget that)
Mom you always remind me of the mistakes I’ve made.
STEP OFF. I’M GETTING SICK OF IT.
Happy Mother’s Day.
February 8, 2010 at 2:20 pm
@ #8 raz: Yeah, I want this “crafter” writing out a greeting for me on a $15.00 POS card:
“Email your photo as a jpeg,gif, or tif document. Make sure it is at least 300dpi resolution. You can tell this by lookign at the dimensions in the properties menu. i.e. 300x 356.
If you need it sooner Rush fees are charges, and it can be available the next day.”
February 8, 2010 at 2:20 pm
no way want to keep my skants covered booty right here. Thank you. Would shrivel and die without the nourishing snarkasism. But please be sure to highlight any comments in yellow that are kind or serious or charity-related because otherwise I won’t be able to tell. Also I am finding it difficult to tell who says what. It would really help if you could find a system to distinguish each poster. Also…
February 8, 2010 at 2:22 pm
Is this shit for real?
http://www.etsy.com/view_listing.php?listing_id=39988528
February 8, 2010 at 2:24 pm
Love the prescription bottle and vibrating Laz-E-Boy remote control. Great merchandising:
http://www.etsy.com/view_listing.php?ref=vl_other_1&listing_id=39989106
And for $450, what a bargain. http://www.etsy.com/view_listing.php?ref=vl_other_2&listing_id=39988805
Good god, someone stop me before I kvetch all over my skants.
February 8, 2010 at 2:24 pm
#19 Efit :
Is this shit for real?
http://www.etsy.com/view_listing.php?listing_id=39988528
Ah, SOMEONE has been dumpster diving at the Memphis Ben Franklin!
February 8, 2010 at 2:27 pm
notice the TM in the banner
for fucks sake woman, you only can out that there if it IS actually trademarked..
February 8, 2010 at 2:27 pm
put
February 8, 2010 at 2:30 pm
#20 Efit
she had to shot it fast ’cause it had just arrived from FTD and she didn’t want her grandma to see her taking the pic… maybe?
February 8, 2010 at 2:30 pm
Oh my “Dirty Diana”
“Time after Time” I could smell the “T-R-O-U-B-L-E”
“Who’s Your Daddy” now that you “Kiss”
Oh I know “Girls Just Wanna Have Fun”
But I can’t “Tell My Achey Breaky Heart”
For my heart knows that “I would Die 4 You”
I know his “Money Changes Everything” but
“For Cryin Out Loud You Know I love You.”
February 8, 2010 at 2:36 pm
*head*
*desk*
*repeat*
February 8, 2010 at 2:40 pm
Oh “Baby, Baby”
Don’t make me live like a “Monk”
You’ve got my “True Blood” pumpin’
So let’s “Wang Chung” tonight
Just don’t give me “Burn Notice”
when I pee tomorrow.
Happy V.D. !
February 8, 2010 at 2:40 pm
I imagine this seller must have dedicated that mish-mash of songs to their bag of weed before making sweet love to it (like Kumar, to the tune of “Crazy On You”).
*Sigh* such a romantic at heart.
February 8, 2010 at 2:41 pm
wait so this chick is trying to sell flowers online? i would just as well go through FTD or 1-800-Flowers…
450 for an arrangement? that better include wedding flowers, funeral flowers, taking a shit flowers, and the entire rose bowl parade
February 8, 2010 at 2:43 pm
http://www.etsy.com/view_listing.php?ref=vl_other_2&listing_id=25928607
Okay. I give up. What IS a “sista-girl”?
February 8, 2010 at 2:49 pm
SKULLY- REGRETSY is looking for the Joker. Are you at the Candy Shop taking a lick of a lollipop? Perhaps you are stuck in some lady lumps?
Maybe you are just drinking the Milkshake for free?
February 8, 2010 at 2:50 pm
@ #30 blondeweezi – She’s a skinny cliche in a halter top. Reco’nize!
February 8, 2010 at 2:51 pm
My favorite one is.
A while ago you promised me I could put it in the other on a special occasion. It’s V-day and I figured this qualifies.
The lube is in the nightstand. See you tonight!
Hallmark put it out a few years ago but for some reason they discontinued it.
February 8, 2010 at 2:54 pm
#30 blondeweezie – oh wow, you can actually see the font from the front of the card right through the back of that damn thing! Looks like she prints that shit out on regular paper rather than card stock.
February 8, 2010 at 3:01 pm
http://www.etsy.com/view_listing.php?listing_id=39832185
Umm, can I get my card without the bent and battered edges? I can get those with my 3 year old dragging it through the store without the markup.
February 8, 2010 at 3:02 pm
#34 ThisJustMakesMeSad :
#30 blondeweezie – oh wow, you can actually see the font from the front of the card right through the back of that damn thing! Looks like she prints that shit out on regular paper rather than card stock.
That would not surprise me in the least.
We have the “Sista Girl” What about the cat?
February 8, 2010 at 3:03 pm
Or the missing ear? There should be a Regretsy card for Photoshop Cat & Missing Ear.
February 8, 2010 at 3:04 pm
I thougt I’d take the time to say… at least she can spell “lose”
February 8, 2010 at 3:04 pm
i lik my valintimes cards wif lotsa tiepoes.
February 8, 2010 at 3:07 pm
@37
Oh yes, Helen should hire her to make the MISSING EAR posters, and perhaps the milk carton designs.
February 8, 2010 at 3:12 pm
Sorry ISUS and RCB, Skully’s “Working 9 to 5,” “You Can’t Always Get What You Want.”
February 8, 2010 at 3:30 pm
…but “For What It’s Worth,” “I Heard It Through The Grapevine” that “Sexy Sadie”‘s “Squeeze Box” “Smells Like Teen Spirit,” and “Papa’s Got A Brand New Bag” with “Great Balls Of Fire.”
February 8, 2010 at 3:34 pm
“Saw It Late At Night On Premier Cable”
Oh! “Bravetart!” When I think of your “Brassiere To Eternity,” you know my “Clear and Present Donger” can do nothing but “Poke-a-hot-ass.” “While You Were Slurping,” the only thing that came to mind were our “Close Encounters Of The Turd Kind,” but I didn’t want to bother you, since you seemed to have your hands full with “Battlefield Girth.”
Dear one, with you, “Tit’s a Wonderful LIfe.”
February 8, 2010 at 3:38 pm
skully -that was worth the wait lol
February 8, 2010 at 3:38 pm
“The founder has been making webbmark greeting cards for personal occasions since she was five years old.”
February 8, 2010 at 4:16 pm
#40 madamedefarge :
@37
Oh yes, Helen should hire her to make the MISSING EAR posters, and perhaps the milk carton designs.
Whoa. Easy on the sarcasm. I was implying a Photoshop Valentine Card contest.
February 8, 2010 at 4:29 pm
It comes WITH an envelope? Now it’s worth $4!
February 8, 2010 at 5:03 pm
oh regretsy, Everything I do (I Do It For You).
I Just Called To Say I Love You and that i saw a wino on the bus with no pants. as i looked in horror at his butt crack, i realized that I Can’t Smile Without You…and when he let a tremendous fart, i thought, you are The Wind Beneath My Wings.
even though this card will sell for $4, My Heart Will Go On. got to go, Tonight I Celebrate My Love, if my batteries dont run out.
February 8, 2010 at 5:45 pm
http://www.etsy.com/view_listing.php?ref=vl_other_2&listing_id=34442327
“the first time I stepped into the unknown…and discovered that the unknown is actually dog shit.”
February 8, 2010 at 5:53 pm
Soon to be released on Kidz Bop XII. Or make your Valentine run for the hills.
February 8, 2010 at 6:09 pm
Darling, we spent our First 48 Hours at the House at the Jersey Shore. It was such a Clean House until we did that Naked Science experiment! Mercy! But we soon had to go back to the Real World – me to the Office and you to your job at Pawn Stars. Happy Valentines Day!
February 8, 2010 at 6:12 pm
I just get Lost in your eyes.
February 8, 2010 at 6:13 pm
totally for the hopelessly boring unromantic valentine
February 8, 2010 at 7:31 pm
http://www.etsy.com/view_listing.php?listing_id=39986434
“the text message language”
I used to weep for the future, but it is time to weep for the present.
February 8, 2010 at 7:50 pm
You tell me “All You Need Is Love”
Well, you’re “Shit Outta Luck”
‘Cause I’m an “Orgasm Addict”
And you’re “Too Drunk To Fuck”
February 8, 2010 at 8:04 pm
God has a “ribbon in the sky” for our love – is that a euphemism?
February 8, 2010 at 8:54 pm
You only come round here because of “My Humps My Humps”
and thats the end o that song
February 9, 2010 at 12:16 am
Those cards make me gag. And everything in her shop seems to be a rip off. I wish I could produce shoddy work and sell it like crazy but noooo, I have to have standards!
February 9, 2010 at 12:23 am
I love you cause you’re “Young, dumb and full of cum”
and YES, I swear to god that is a song. (Whale)
If you gotta go you gotta go, girl.
February 9, 2010 at 1:20 am
It’s “True.” “You Take My Breath Away,” even though you have not let me see what’s “Underneath It All.” I have been waiting for “A Moment Like This” to tell you that “I Touch Myself” when I am “Here Without You.” If “I Ain’t Got You,” then I need some sort of “Release.” But anyway, I will remember our love “Forever And Always” or at least ’til I die. Happy Valentine’s Day!
February 9, 2010 at 2:04 am
Surely this isn’t legal… because they’d be making money from the sales of it?
February 9, 2010 at 3:10 am
Oh my gosh, I better buy one right now because there are only THREE in stock!!! If I don’t buy one, then these cards will be gone forever and I’ll never be able to find one anywhere!
February 9, 2010 at 8:28 am
#19, notice she has no feedback. There’s a reason for that, huh?
February 9, 2010 at 8:44 am
@#54 JOS: Awesome sauce! Sounds like “Something’s Gone Wrong Again.”
February 9, 2010 at 2:15 pm
@ Skully
“You Know You’re Right” but “I Don’t Mind”. While “I’m Waiting For The Man” I have an “Automatic Lover” to “Help” me pass the “Time”.
February 9, 2010 at 3:18 pm
@#65 Joan of Snark: “Good Vibrations”?
February 9, 2010 at 3:53 pm
@ #66 Skully:
It beats getting “Stiff Little Fingers”.
February 9, 2010 at 9:31 pm
There’s nothing wrong with “A Quick One While He’s Away” if you’ve got an “Uncontrollable Urge.”
February 9, 2010 at 9:35 pm
After all, when “I Can’t Get No Satisfaction” I use my “Praying Hands.”