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ZAZZLE out the Azzle!

Posted by Helen Killer

38 comments

There has been a veritable assload of new merchandise added to the Regretsy store today! Just crap on top of crap, layered like a big torte of shoddy fuckery that absolutely no one needs or wants.

And it’s for that reason that I really must insist you get over there immediately and spend your whole unemployment check. Seriously, groceries are so 2009.

I’m sure you all remember the Thanksgiving Skants dude, who many of you felt should have been the winner of the competition last week.

Well, you’ll be happy to know that I have received permission to put him on a T-shirt, and we did exactly that today.

But we also did something else; we put him on a long sleeved sweatshirt, upside down. That way, should you desire to wear it as Skants, he will be upright, and you won’t look silly at all.

Turkey Skants T-shirt
Available in 11 colors

Turkey Skants Sweatshirt
Available in 5 colors

And as an added bonus, we whipped up some Turkey man note cards, so you can finally write that nasty letter you’ve been threatening to send to the Butterball company.

Turkey Man note cards
Also available in greeting card size

Next up, as per your request, our newly famous “Hello House Un-American Activities Committee” line!

These products feature a slightly different design than the one I posted this morning. I mistakenly used a picture of Senator McCarthy in that one, who it turns out, was not a member of the HUAC. So many thanks to the sharp-eyed anal retentive fun sucker who pointed that out in the comments.

HUAC Mug
Also available in a stein or commuter mug

HUAC Note Card
Also available in greeting card size

HUAC T-shirt
Available in 11 colors

As always, profits go directly into our Regretsy Alchemy Fund. As you may know, the fund works in $200 increments; when we raise that amount, we hire an Etsy seller to make handmade goods for charity.

So there you have it; 6 new horrific additions to our already swollen colon of commerce. From our blowhole to yours.

Filed in Whimsicle Fuckery 38 comments

38 Comments

Add Comment

Feb 5, 2010
9:40 pm

#1 snarkeygirl :

Total Awesomesauce! Thanks Regretsy!

Rate this comment: +5

Feb 5, 2010
9:41 pm

#2 lyontamer :

Oh sure. Leave out the unemployed who can’t get unemployment benefits.

Rate this comment: 0

Feb 5, 2010
9:42 pm

#3 lyontamer :

…. Do you take food stamps?

Rate this comment: +21

Feb 5, 2010
9:52 pm

#4 fluffysue :

Much as I do love food, the “Hello HUAC” mug might be enough to make me forgo a few groceries; I needed to go on a diet anyway…

Rate this comment: +5

Feb 5, 2010
10:11 pm

#5 greenfuzz :

The sad thing is I want to spend my unemployment check on this stuff but I already paid my stupid bills. Damn it! Now I really want a HUAC mug.

Rate this comment: +8

Feb 5, 2010
11:02 pm

#6 lyontamer :

….I’ll trade ya a Turkey Man skants-tee for my firstborn child….

Rate this comment: +5

Feb 5, 2010
11:03 pm

#7 sudabaki© :

I can’t stop laughing at the turkey man line of products.

Rate this comment: +11

Feb 5, 2010
11:16 pm

#8 bumKittens :

HOLY SHIT. I was hoping against hope that there would be HUAC committee. Thank you Jebus!

…and, more importantly, regretsy!

Rate this comment: +5

Feb 5, 2010
11:17 pm

#9 bumKittens :

* I meant HUAC t-shirt. Sorry: I’m a little durnk.

Rate this comment: +8

Feb 6, 2010
12:31 am

#10 em :

Can you please have the thanksgiving guy in his shirt/skants? That would be amazing =)

Rate this comment: 0

Feb 6, 2010
1:01 am

#11 JustJon :

Oh god, please make a “hello scritti politti” shirt. I wood beez grateful.

Does zazzle take layaway?

Rate this comment: +8

Feb 6, 2010
1:40 am

#12 zozatron :

that’s friggin awesome….

Rate this comment: +1

Feb 6, 2010
5:00 am

#13 kipper :

Aw, as factually incorrect as it was, I like McCarthy in the bow. But at least the new image has good ol’ Tricky in it.

Rate this comment: +4

Feb 6, 2010
6:32 am

#14 envy :

awesome : )

Rate this comment: +1

Feb 6, 2010
7:17 am

#15 voxwoman :

It’s NIXON! With a bow!!

Rate this comment: +6

Feb 6, 2010
7:57 am

#16 emoney7 :

turkey skants guy has ca(male)toe!

Rate this comment: +7

Feb 6, 2010
8:00 am

#17 bolted :

Upside down turkey skants guy looks like he’s giving birth to your head.

Rate this comment: +4

Feb 6, 2010
8:36 am

#18 razberries :

these are too funny…turkey skants man has become famous…i am dying here!

Rate this comment: +5

Feb 6, 2010
8:50 am

#19 twentyone :

I’ve been wanting the missing ear mug since you put it up. Off to donate some plasma…

Rate this comment: +5

Feb 6, 2010
8:52 am

#20 Patty has been abuducted by an alien :

I’m thrilled to know he’s upside-down on the shirt, so we won’t look ridiculous.

Parent/teacher conferences at the high school are next week. I better get my skants before then. My children would never forgive me if I showed up without them.

*whistling casually*

Rate this comment: +11

Feb 6, 2010
9:09 am

#21 katesque :

Yay! I just order my Hello HUAC 15oz. ceramic mug. I plan to use it at my thesis defense. With luck it will distract my committee from my paper’s weak argument.

Rate this comment: +6

Feb 6, 2010
9:19 am

#22 katesque :

Oh, and McCarthy worked alongside the HUAC. He was on the Senate Committee for Government Operations, and he basically buddied up with the HUAC and turned their techniques in on members of the government itself.

Rate this comment: +3

Feb 6, 2010
10:16 am

#23 lishd :

please, please put hello twitty on a tshirt.

Rate this comment: 0

Feb 6, 2010
10:19 am

#24 pleasedontpickme :

ugh, i was going to order turkey greeting cards to send out for Thanksgiving but they are SOOOOOOOOO expensive. Couldn’t we commission a paper crafter, maybe get a cheaper price.

Rate this comment: +2

Feb 6, 2010
10:21 am

#25 Helen Killer :

Yeah, Zazzle is pricey. And the mark-up we add to the stuff is almost nothing, which is why it takes so long to raise $200.

Rate this comment: +6

Feb 6, 2010
10:52 am

#26 Thistle :

#21: or you can just throw it at them and run screaming from the room.

Rate this comment: +1

Feb 6, 2010
11:27 am

#27 Wilma Fingerdoo :

He would make a fabulous magnet, too.

I can just picture him on my fridge- holding up my coffee stained grocery list.

Rate this comment: +3

Feb 6, 2010
12:22 pm

#28 SuperSnark :

OOOH a HUAC commuter mug! I dont commute, but it will help me from spilling, an adult sippy cup! gotta go and turn in all my bottles for cold hard cash.

Rate this comment: +1

Feb 6, 2010
12:25 pm

#29 lasserine :

The more I look at him, the more sure I am I attended high school with Mr. Thanksgiving Skants. And now he’s on a sweatshirt and note cards. Which means he’s accomplished more than just about anybody else from the class of ‘04. (He’s accomplished more than me, at least.)

Rate this comment: +6

Feb 6, 2010
12:39 pm

#30 rip and snort :

#16 emoney7 : “turkey skants guy has ca(male)toe!”

It’s not ca(male)toe, it’s the turkey’s tail!!!! LOL O^O

Rate this comment: 0

Feb 6, 2010
12:53 pm

#31 Vile & Evil Debbie Downer :

Do the Turkey Man notecards come with a coffee stain?

Rate this comment: +4

Feb 6, 2010
1:04 pm

#32 SoapyHo :

#25…Maybe find someone on etsy that can make them so you can get a better profit? I swear I’m tempted to buy the equipment to do it myself.
Have you almost finished the forum for this site yet? I have a pic I want everyone to see of the Say What I found and bought which is totally not related to this site. *lol* And I didn’t even notice it was a Say What until I had it home for a few days.

Rate this comment: +2

Feb 6, 2010
1:37 pm

#33 razberries :

I could make the cards for cheaper…Helen, I will send you an email about this…

Rate this comment: +5

Feb 6, 2010
2:00 pm

#34 emoney7 :

ah yes #30 referred to in my house as “the pope’s nose”

Rate this comment: +2

Feb 6, 2010
2:35 pm

#35 UnaBee :

I’m totally buying a mug right now. Few things cover 1. my interest in politics 2. my intense need for insufferably cute sanrio-type bullshit and 3. my severe coffee addiction. Well done, Regretsy.

Rate this comment: +12

Feb 6, 2010
4:11 pm

#36 WhimsicalLolita :

Turkey skants man is my hero! and i’m saving my etsy profits to get me a HUAC mug. I don’t have an office to take it to but i can be awesome in my own home

Rate this comment: +3

Feb 6, 2010
11:38 pm

#37 amerigirl05 :

Is there a skants fan page on Facebook yet? Because I am a fan.

Rate this comment: +2

Feb 7, 2010
5:07 am

#38 Fiberbabe :

@#11 JustJon

Seconded!

Rate this comment: +1