The Worm Turns
PATRON! WOOO HOOO!
Whaddya mean I can’t sell this on Ebby? Ebay? Esty? I can fuckin’ shell whatever I fuckin’ wanna – hey I can do whatever I – FUCK YOU! Is vinnage! VINNAGE! Can’t you spika da English muffucker? Dis vinnage! Fuckin sure is vinnage, it says vinnage righon the bottle.
Fuck you is my fuckin Ebay! YOU CAN . . .
Gonna fuckin puke
February 4, 2010 at 9:38 am
wow, that’s vintage? My local grocery store must not know that they are housing such vintage wares…
Amusingly, there are 1080 items on etsy tagged liquor… I wonder if all those people are licensed.
Vintage? Oy vey.
February 4, 2010 at 9:39 am
Was this “tequilla” owned by Magilla Gorilla?
LOVELY!
February 4, 2010 at 9:41 am
But it’s empty…there’s no value in an empty bottle. It just makes me sad
February 4, 2010 at 9:41 am
If you take a look at the rest of her stuff, it’s a veritable yard sale. Not a darn thing I can see is handmade.
February 4, 2010 at 9:42 am
For like $10 bucks more you can get a “vintage” bottle filled with Tequila.
February 4, 2010 at 9:42 am
I would write something clever now, but I am too drunk after finishing off my bottle of Patron so I can list it for sale, pronto
Andale!
February 4, 2010 at 9:42 am
This reminds me of the guy on Antiques Roadshow who spent a grand on a vintage Roman glass bottle only to discover that it was the local store brand’s olive oil bottle.
So hey, at $14 this is a steal – and you won’t risk a dui, tattoo or love child!
February 4, 2010 at 9:43 am
Dude, I totally got some Coca-Cola bottles, you know, the original six ounce bottles, with 1927 in raised letters on the glass. They’re like, totally old too and totally “vintage”.
Except the fact that they’re still in circulation, still being used and barely worth the refund.
I’m totally going to open an etsy shop now so I can sell my old Coca-Cola bottles and a crapload of 80s stuff I still have from my teen years.
Anyone wanna buy a fringed sweater with Bea-Arthur-esque…
February 4, 2010 at 9:44 am
Liquor? I hardly know ‘er!
*ba dum tisch*
February 4, 2010 at 9:45 am
I’d buy this if it came with vintage lime rinds and an empty vintage salt shaker. Also, if anyone’s interested, I have six vintage Pacifico bottles (circa 2009) for sale.
February 4, 2010 at 9:45 am
cont’d from my previous post:
Anyone wanna buy a fringed sweater with Bea-Arthur-esque shoulder pads?
February 4, 2010 at 9:48 am
@#8 Meanbeads: LOL, that’s one of my fav CD’s, Rev. Horton Heat/Liquor in the Front, Poker in the Rear.
February 4, 2010 at 9:49 am
@#10 Patty: Right On, Maude!
February 4, 2010 at 9:51 am
holy crap, it *is* her online garage sale. I like how she’s selling only ONE shoe last. WTF is that good for?
‘Scuse me, I need a drink now.
February 4, 2010 at 9:51 am
God. All those years I slaved over bars just working for TIPS. I could have been RICH!!! Makes me want to cry in my tequila.
February 4, 2010 at 9:53 am
Look- these are “primitive.” Someone call science and tell them that primitive man had sewing machines.
http://www.etsy.com/view_listing.php?ref=vl_other_1&listing_id=23828624
February 4, 2010 at 9:53 am
If only those guys who live in the overgrown parking lot down by the railroad tracks knew what kind of gold mine they’ve been sitting on all this time.
February 4, 2010 at 9:53 am
#4 ustmistress :
“yard sale” = “modestly successful afternoon of dumpster-diving”
February 4, 2010 at 9:56 am
I wonder if there’s a market for “vintage” Disaronno bottles, because I’m sitting on a goldmine over here.
“No honey, I’m not an alcoholic, it’s my BUSINESS.”
February 4, 2010 at 9:56 am
#15 UnaBee: some of those look more like primitive dildos.
February 4, 2010 at 9:58 am
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February 4, 2010 at 9:58 am
Ducks- my thoughts exactly!
Also, primitive man was grating cheese, check it out:
http://www.etsy.com/view_listing.php?ref=vl_other_1&listing_id=35943706
February 4, 2010 at 9:58 am
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February 4, 2010 at 10:01 am
Crafting on Etsy is so easy…
1. Drain Patron bottle, hic!
later…
2. Soak off the labels (real handwork!)
3. Photograph for Etsy (more handwork)
4. Buy more tequila…
February 4, 2010 at 10:02 am
Clearly she has some amazing vintage pieces. Why is she wasting her time on Etsy? Antiques Roadshow would probably do an on location episode at her dumpster…..I mean home.
February 4, 2010 at 10:02 am
One down….five to go…or is it 10?
(hiccup)
http://tinypic.com/usermedia.php?uo=8CrmpUc4lOm%2FG9%2Fp7om1vIh4l5k2TGxc
Viva Mexico!
February 4, 2010 at 10:02 am
Ohh the Horror! I shudder at how much money I have tossed away in “vintage” bottles alone this year as an estate liquidator…..In face I think I tossed that very bottle about 20 minutes ago in the dump trailer :0
February 4, 2010 at 10:05 am
@Unabee–people buy that old kitchen stuff. Probably most of that is from the 40s-50s, except that spoon looks older.
February 4, 2010 at 10:05 am
Feel free to thumbs down me but I haven’t drank tequila in about 15 years when I ended up face down in the gutter with a car idling next to me waiting for me to finish so they park on my vomit. Is that not an old bottle?
February 4, 2010 at 10:08 am
It could go under supplies….maybe somebody could capture fairys with it??
February 4, 2010 at 10:09 am
The stuff in her shop doesn’t really look vintage and isn’t priced like it’s vintage. It’s like an expensive yard sale. How very annoying. I wonder if she doesn’t know better about this patron bottle. I hope she bought it thinking it was vintage, though I know she probably didn’t.
February 4, 2010 at 10:15 am
@ #22, Well now, let’s not split hairs. If you sell it on Etsy, it’s supposed to be vintage, handmade or supplies. This isn’t any of those. Technically, you could rag on it for not being supplies, either. At least not when it’s empty.
February 4, 2010 at 10:18 am
“…not being supplies, either. At least not when it’s empty.”
If I were making some of this crap shown here, tequila or vodka would be a mandatory ingredient.
February 4, 2010 at 10:20 am
If “bygone era” means last months New Years Eve party, then the seller may not be lying…just saying
February 4, 2010 at 10:24 am
Actually lots of her stuff is vintage, and some of it’s pretty decent too–check out the phone, for example. There’s a few suspicious items as well, but WTF–not like Etsy’s going to do anything about it.
February 4, 2010 at 10:27 am
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February 4, 2010 at 10:30 am
For $14, she could at least stick a couple fairy babies in the bottle.
February 4, 2010 at 10:31 am
I’m gonna make my new “vintage” shop and post the link to you all. I have so much shit, that compared to this, I’m gonna be rich.
Old spoons from the 70′s
1981 Battlestar Glactica, Burger Chef glasses.
Glass turkey baster from 1988
All my parents records.
All my cassette tapes.
And I’ll add fruity descriptions and make the front page.
Just you watch.
February 4, 2010 at 10:31 am
yeah but #28 ~ it’s got to be 20 years old not 15, lol!
February 4, 2010 at 10:33 am
@#28 Suda: Thanks for saving that parking spot for me in ’95.
February 4, 2010 at 10:34 am
@#37 SB: You got any Herb Alpert LP’s?
February 4, 2010 at 10:41 am
We’ve got a cabinet full of vintage bottles at my house- some with the original vintage liquid inside. I bet I could up my selling price to my underaged neighbor, since he’s gettin’ a piece of history and all.
February 4, 2010 at 10:51 am
Can I open up a VHS tape store on Etsy? I got BOXES of those in my basement! What about BETA tapes? (if you are too young to know what those are, I suppose they are now vintage too!)
February 4, 2010 at 10:52 am
Fuck you can sell empty tequila bottles? SHIT! I have to go chase the garbage truck outside. Who knew my tequila love could turn a profit! But I don’t think that Jose Cruevo is considered vintage.
Hmmm…..Catch the garbage truck or kill off a new bottle for the sake of Etsy? Fuck it. You know what time it is.
Motherfucking Tequila-o-clock.
February 4, 2010 at 11:01 am
Filed in: Spanish Spelling Issues
Dumbass can’t even spell “Tequila.”
February 4, 2010 at 11:20 am
From Wikipedia:
Patrón is a luxury brand of tequila produced in
Mexico and sold in hand-blown, individually
numbered bottles.
Okay, so the bottle is handmade. Is it vintage?
The Patrón Spirits Company, based in Las Vegas,
Nevada, was formed in 1989 by John Paul DeJoria,
a co-founder of John Paul Mitchell Systems.
To be vintage an item has to be at least 20 years old. So unless that bottle is stamped #1, it’s probably not vintage.
February 4, 2010 at 11:26 am
“It has those little lines and bubbles and that wavy appearance of glass from a bygone era.”
I saw about 20 of these bottles at the liquor store last night. I guess to the seller “bygone era” means “manufactured a week ago”. I’d rather spend a little more money and get the satisfaction of being able to empty my own “vintage” bottle.
February 4, 2010 at 11:35 am
#46, I would like to be immature for a moment (HA!) and laugh at the fact that “Hand-Blown” sounds dirty:
hehehe….Hand blown…
carry on.
February 4, 2010 at 11:36 am
Note to self:
At least wait until the morning after to list my brand new vintage decanter.
February 4, 2010 at 11:38 am
whata considense- i gotta fuckin empty vinnage bottlea wine here. time to opena etsy stoer!
*hiccup*
February 4, 2010 at 11:41 am
this chick is actually quite a good photographer. she’d probably make more money selling the artistic shots of junk than selling the actual junk.
February 4, 2010 at 11:42 am
I’m telling ya. We could all get together and make “Vinnage” shops and form a team. Think of all the shit piled up you could pawn off to some dumb fuckers on Etsy. We could be the solution to all the hoarders out there.
February 4, 2010 at 11:48 am
I have two of these and they still have the little paper necklace tag things. AND my husband refused to throw away the boxes. I bet I’m sitting on a gold mine!
February 4, 2010 at 12:00 pm
All she has to do is hot glue the damn thing to a ring base to call it handmade.
February 4, 2010 at 12:05 pm
Aren’t the only people who display liquor bottles college Sophomores who emptied them themselves? Where’s the sense of pride and accomplishment in buying one?
February 4, 2010 at 12:06 pm
@#41 Skully,
I have “Whipped Cream and Other Delights”, but you can’t have it! I also have “Clam Dip and Other Delights” by Soul Asylum-make me an offer.
http://www.enterthesoulasylum.com/discography/albums/clam_dip_&_other_delights/
FREE SHIPPING!!!!!!!
February 4, 2010 at 12:20 pm
@#56 Awesome sauce! On vinyl?
http://twitpic.com/11dj4p
February 4, 2010 at 12:24 pm
My worm in the gut hunch is that Patro’n has been spun in just a few donkey bar!
February 4, 2010 at 12:25 pm
#28- yeah I like vintage kitchen stuff too. I was making fun of her use of the word “primitive.”
February 4, 2010 at 12:30 pm
Great! I’ve got about three of those Patron bottles – one I’ll need to drain – no problem there. After I polish off that third bottle, I’ll list them when I’m drunk off my ass – that way I’ll be sure to get my tags right.
February 4, 2010 at 12:44 pm
Okay, so one time, I was in a gas station buying beer, and one of the bottles had a REAL FROG FREEZE DRIED on it. Totally stuck to the bottle, dried out like I HANDMADE it and put it there. Too bad I chucked that baby, I bet I could be sitting on a HUGE bag of cash right now. God, I love ART…
February 4, 2010 at 12:48 pm
ok, ready to post my next listing, wanted to offer it here first.
Vintage Roaches and shake. I just cleaned off my desk for the first time in 2 years. I have for sale a bunch of vintage roaches in various sizes. Also found was a pile of shake/ash and stems. Maybe you’ll find a surprise seed in the mix. That just makes it’s all the better.
February 4, 2010 at 12:53 pm
#27, get ye to the dumpster, dust off those bottles and try to sell them to this seller for $7 each…
February 4, 2010 at 12:56 pm
I’ve never felt so threatened by the word “lovely.”
February 4, 2010 at 1:00 pm
Skully, I thought you looked familiar!
February 4, 2010 at 1:04 pm
“Patrón is a luxury brand of tequila produced in
Mexico and sold in hand-blown, individually
numbered bottles.”
I might as well mention…this bottle looks blown into a mold. You won’t see hand-blown glass with raised letters–too much pressure is needed for lungs. They’re just using an old machine, like you see on bubbly glassware at Crate & Barrio…
February 4, 2010 at 1:07 pm
*somebody* needs to go to the liquor store and check the tequila shelf… Sounds like it couldn’t be vintage anyway!
February 4, 2010 at 1:08 pm
#41 Skully :
“@#37 SB: You got any Herb Alpert LP’s?”
I have a few, including “Whipped Cream and Other Delights,” which you can get from me over my cold, dead, body. Neener.
February 4, 2010 at 1:08 pm
If thats vintage, then I’m Martha Stewart
February 4, 2010 at 1:18 pm
Helen you sound like you are about to have a brain aneurysm up there
February 4, 2010 at 1:19 pm
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February 4, 2010 at 1:30 pm
grrrr. extremely irritated i need some tequilla right now.
February 4, 2010 at 1:51 pm
This is nearly an exact match with the ice buckets we use in the 4-star hotel I work in.
http://www.etsy.com/view_listing.php?ref=vl_other_2&listing_id=34441620
Mid-century? Ours may have been around since the late 80s, but I doubt it. They’ve probably been upgraded at least once since then. I wonder if the seller smuggled this one out in her suitcase.
February 4, 2010 at 3:00 pm
SKULLY- http://music.shop.ebay.com/Records-/306/i.html?LH_BIN=1&LH_IncludeSIF=1&_nkw=Herb+Alpert+Whipped+Cream+Other+Delights&_catref=1&_dmpt=Music_on_Vinyl&_fln=1&_trksid=p3286.c0.m282 IT CAN BE YOUR’S ALL YOURS.
February 4, 2010 at 3:02 pm
Her bag is simply overflowing with tequilllla!
February 4, 2010 at 3:05 pm
SKULLY- My papa has always said that vinyl is final. He is a buyer-seller. Wheeler and dealer. Collector of Garage Brands on vinyl. I will never forget coming home from school and blasting from his record room was Guns-N-Roses on vinyl- a 45 picture sleeve at that. His name on EBAY is veebeesvinyl- if you ask he will find.
February 4, 2010 at 4:09 pm
Only once have I been impressed by an empty tequila bottle, and only enough to take a photo – not to keep a damn empty bottle like a high school student.
http://twitpic.com/pdma
February 4, 2010 at 4:41 pm
i have nothing witty to say, but i enjoyed skully’s photoshopped hairball worm thing
February 4, 2010 at 5:12 pm
Caveat empty.
February 4, 2010 at 6:27 pm
shcrew yuu guzz. 2hundert-thusnd-nine was a gud yr.
February 5, 2010 at 10:19 am
$14??? Can’t you buy a Patron bottle WITH Patron in it for that much? I can selling it as supplies, but for, like, a dollar.
February 5, 2010 at 12:13 pm
Oh wow….I own a bar! We get vintage patron bottles in every week! EVERY SINGLE WEEK! I can’t believe I’ve been wasting all of this time just trying to sell the stuff inside of the bottles…I’m totally gonna be rich, now…
February 5, 2010 at 1:31 pm
One tequila, two tequila, three tequila, floor!
I gotta dig up that t shirt now.
February 7, 2010 at 5:28 pm
Everyone’s got the bottle pretty well covered, but I think I saw these recently in a local Beauty Mart.
$8, 2 for $15.
http://www.etsy.com/view_listing.php?listing_id=24110705